July 2, 2018
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.”
I don’t know if I have just mellowed over the years or gotten smarter. All I do know is that most of the things that upset me in the past just were not worth agonizing over. Most of us know that crying over spilt milk is of little use but we let other problems, real ot imagined, get to us.
I have found that something I don’t like is not worth a call to arms but rather something to understand. Here is an edited article that I think has merit. What he suggests might not be easy but it can make our lives a little happier.
It’s Not a Problem, It’s an Experience
BY LEO BABAUTA
Life has its down periods: your boss is unhappy with you, your business is struggling, you get into a fight with the love of your life, your finances are tight, you aren’t getting good sleep, you get sick or have chronic pain. But trying to avoid the problem, exit from it, or even comfort yourself — these have limited effectiveness. We know that by now, because despite our best efforts, the down times keep happening. We get in a slump, we get miserable, we feel down.
Here’s a mental shift that might help: when you’re feeling hurt, sad, angry, overburdened … think of it not as a problem, but as an experience.
- Fully feel whatever pain or sadness or anger you’re feeling.
- Stop avoiding it and just feel it. Truly allow yourself to feel it.
- And as you feel it, don’t think of the difficult feeling as a problem you need to solve. A thing you need to get rid of. Think of it as an experience you’re having.
- It’s not a problem, it’s an experience.
That’s all it is: an experience, a feeling. Nothing to panic about. (Unless you’re feeling panic — that’s OK too.) It’s something you’re experiencing right now, and it’s not good or bad. It’s just an experience. It might not feel good, but that’s not a problem. Not all experiences feel good, right? Sometimes we just have to experience cold, heat, storms, and pain. It’s part of the experience of life, and we don’t have to shut it all out.
Feel your difficulty fully, with as open a heart as you can muster. Allow it into your heart, as you would a good friend. And just be with it, no judgments, no need to do anything. It’s just your present experience.
Whatever you’ve done to comfort yourself — no judgments with that as well. That’s not a problem, just an experience. You can find peace with whatever that experience might be.
Now it’s time for action. From this place of peace about who you are, what you’re experiencing … you can take the next step. It might be something like:
Love the feeling, the experience, the pain.
Love the person who is in front of you, hurting. Feel them.
Love the world. Give the world your gift.
Take a small step toward making your situation better.
Take a small action to realize your life’s mission .
Be silent, so you can listen. Be still, so you can experience.
What action to take depends on the situation, but it starts with a feeling of being at peace with your experience.
Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass.
A mother was worried that her three-year-old son was unusually precocious, and took him to a psychiatrist.
“Right,” said the shrink, “We’ll just try a few simple tests.” To the boy, he said “Say a few words – anything that comes into your mind.”
The boy turned to his mother and asked, “Does he want logically constructed sentences or just a few random and purely isolated words?”
Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?
Three older ladies were discussing the problems of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”
The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself standing on the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”
The third one responded, ” Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table…then said, “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”
“The world does not beat its way to your door until you are in the bathroom.”
A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him. “Lou,” says the shocked friend, “what are you doing? I’ve known you for over fifteen years, and I’ve never seen you take a drink before. What’s going on?”
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, “My wife just ran off with my best friend.” He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.
“But,” says the other man, “I’m your best friend!”
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, “Not anymore! He is!”
Some days are like this. And the only way to get through them is to remember that they are only one day, and that every day ends.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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