Ray's musings and humor

Enjoy the ride

Ray’s Daily

June 5, 2018

Aging can be fun if you lay back and enjoy it.

Clint Eastwood

Agw

I think the secret to graceful aging is adaptability. You have to let go of what doesn’t work anymore and enjoy what does. It also helps to realize that no one expects you to lift large loads, do pushups or chase animals or young folks. I think those who don’t try to hold on to the past can find some serenity in just enjoying the present.

Here are some secrets of enjoying the journey I found on the Net.

Aging Gracefully

1) Odometer

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve travelled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

2) Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

This is so true. I love to hear them say “you don’t look that old..”

(Steve can vouch for this. Her aunt Cis, now 102 years old, when asked her age brags, “I’ll be 103 next birthday.” )

3) Waiting

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

 4) Prayer

(And this final one especially for me,)

“Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!”

The Benefits of Aging

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to yo uth, think of Algebra.

 One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.  Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

~~~

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent–that is to triumph over old age.

Thomas Bailey Aldrich

~~~

Two blondes landed at the airport and caught a cab.

“Where are you off to,” asked the cabbie.

“San Josie,” one replied.

The cabbie corrected her pronunciation telling her that the “J” made an “H” sound.

As time went by he asked how long they would be vacationing.

The one blonde replied, “For all of Hune and Huly.”

~~~

Some guy hit my fender, and I said to him, ‘Be fruitful and multiply’; but not in those words.

~~~

An attractive young woman chaperoned by an ugly old crone entered the doctor’s office. “We have come for an examination,” said the young woman.

“Alright,” said the doctor. “Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.”

“No, not me,” said the girl. “it’s my old aunt here.”

“Very well,” said the doctor. “Madam, stick out your tongue.”

~~~

Until you’re ready to look foolish, you’ll never have the possibility of being great.

Cher

~~~

She said: I was out walking with my four-year-old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

“Why”? my daughter asked.

“Because it’s been laying outside, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty and probably has germs” I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Wow! How do you know all this stuff”?

“Uh,” I was thinking quickly, “All Moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it or they don’t let you be a Mommy.”

We walked along in silence for two or three minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

“Oh, I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test, you have to be the Daddy”?

“Exactly!” I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

~~~

Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

Unknown

~~~

Signs

In the front yard of a funeral home, “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.”

In a nonsmoking area, “If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

At an optometrist’s office, “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

~~~

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

Douglas Adams

~~~

He said: We were discussing the “don’ts” of public speaking in the PR class I teach.

“Don’ts” include a man reaching into his pants pocket and jangling change as he speaks, which is very distracting.

To illustrate my point, I asked for a student volunteer, saying, “I need a man with coins in his pocket.”

What I got instead was a girl yelling out, “Honey, so do I!”

~~~

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.

Sophia Loren

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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