Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2018

OK, I’m up

Ray’s Daily

May 16, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.

William Shakespeare

Getting-Started-FA

If you are like I am there are days when you just can’t seem to get started. For me it becomes far too easy to succumb to laziness and put off until another day tasks that should be done that day. I have found that those days end up building almost insurmountable backlogs resulting in having to skip things better attended to.

OK, most of the time I may be slow starting but I do get going. My trick is stopping to realize that the price I pay for inaction is not worth it, you never get anywhere if you don’t start. We pay a price when we procrastinate, deferred action mostly results in lost opportunity.

Here are some action items to consider as you reap today’s rewards:

Promise yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

C.D. Larson

~~~

I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.

Sylvia Plath

~~~

“What Doctors Say, And What They’re Really Thinking”

“This should be taken care of right away.” -I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

“Welllllll, what have we here…?” – He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.

“Let me check your medical history.” – I want to see if you’ve paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.

“I’d like to prescribe a new drug.” – I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

“If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call.” – I don’t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

~~~

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”

Charlie Brown

~~~

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection – a baseball bat to the cash register.

“Cash or charge,” the clerk asked.

“Cash,” she snapped.  Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, ” I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau.  I am way past sane!!”

“Shall I gift -wrap the bat?” the clerk asked sweetly, “Or or you going back there?”

~~~

Anything is possible, unless it’s not.

~~~

WAYS TO STAY STRESSED (Not funny but important)

Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You’ll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:

NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.

EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can’t cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn’t likely to.

GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.

TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine.

AVOID “WOO-WOO” PRACTICES. Ignore the evidence suggesting that meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and/or mental imaging help to reduce stress.

GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.

PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don’t take time to listen, be offended, then return the attack!

MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE – BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!

BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies.

DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.

PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.

WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL. Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.

BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST BUT SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS… …and either beat yourself up, or feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or inadequate when you don’t meet them.”

THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn’t be treated as one.

~~~

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

~~~

Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing  It’s the only type of cooking a “real” man will do:

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.

(1) The woman goes to the store.

(2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.

(4) The man places the meat on the grill.

(5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is       burning.

(7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

(8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the      table.

(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

(10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.”

And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

~~~

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

Robert Louis Stevenson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Hi Neighbor

Ray’s Daily

May 15, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.

Frederick Buechner

neighborhood

I have a busy morning with my wife’s doctor and lab appointments. I also have a number of other tasks to do so I am sending you another Daily from yesteryear.

Ray’s Daily first published on May 15, 2009

It seems like I have been making a lot of trips back into the past lately, sharing the good feelings that I had for simpler days, a time when even just a neighborhood was a community. Many of the periods in the past were filled with trauma and difficult times. My generation has experienced wars, a depression, countless recessions, epidemics, disease and even conflict. I am not proud of our past prejudices and occasional inhumanity, but fortunately most of the folks I knew never where part of those problems. In some ways I think we were tested and as a result strengthened. And to a large extent we were strengthened because we had each other. I don’t mean by just family and loved ones but by those around us neighbors, friends, fellow citizens and yes even strangers. It was the people that made us a community.

It seems like these days too many of us just don’t have the time or to be honest don’t take the time to build the community environment that sustained us in days gone by. Maybe the problems we face these days will motivate some to step back and find what we had. What got me thinking about this today was a list that I got from a good friend. He sent me something he got off a bookmark that his daughter received when she was at Syracuse University. It was published by the Syracuse Cultural Workers. Here is what it said in part:

How to Build a Community

Turn off your TV

Leave your house

Know your neighbors

Greet people

Sit on your stoop

Plant Flowers

Play together

Share what you have

Take children to the park

Garden Together

Support Neighborhood Schools

Fix it even if you didn’t break it

Honor Elders

Pick Up Litter

Dance in the Street

Talk to the Mail Carrier

Listen to the Birds

Help Carry Something Heavy

Start A Tradition

Hire Young People for Odd Jobs

Bake Extra and Share

Ask For Help When You Need It

Open Your Shades

Sing Together

Share Your Skills

Listen Before You react To Anger

Seek To Understand

Learn From New And Uncomfortable Angles

Know That No One is Silent Though Many Are Not Heard Work to Change This

 Thanks Jim for reminding us that Those Were the Days can again be the days if we only reach out to one another.

Ray

~~~

How Many Christians Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1 – Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10 – One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None – Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None – Candles only. (Of guaranteed origin of course.)

Baptists: At least 15 – One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3 – One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: 5 – One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined – Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene: 6 – One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None – Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?

~~~

There is no greater joy nor greater reward than to make a fundamental difference in someone’s life.

Sister Mary Rose McGeady

~~~

A housewife with three small children was getting dinner ready, when the telephone rang. The six-year-old picked it up, and said, “Hi, Daddy!”, and began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her brother and sister, as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work.

When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk, she took the receiver, and said, “Hi, Hon.”

“Thank goodness, Lady,” the voice on the other end replied. “I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered has arrived!”

~~~

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.

Persian proverb

~~~

Jill went to a “Dude Ranch”. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if Jill wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was.

When he told her one had a horn and one didn’t, Jill replied, “The one without the horn is fine.  I don’t expect we’ll run into too much traffic.”

~~~

We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship.

Omar N. Bradley

~~~

A Polish gentleman went to the ophthalmologist who showed him a card, with the letters C Z W X N Q S T A C Z printed on it.

“Can you read this?” he asked

“Read it?” The gentleman replied, “I know the guy!”

~~~

Responsibility does not only lie with the leaders of our countries or with those who have been appointed or elected to do a particular job. It lies with each of us individually. Peace, for example, starts within each one of us. When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us.

Dalai Lama

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Today is up to you

Ray’s Daily

May 14, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“Enjoy today. It’s one of the “good old days” you will miss in the future!”

Etta Sawyerr

deep-breath

I think one of the biggest problems many of us face these days is that we are so busy doing what we are doing that we don’t take time to do what we should be doing. Some of us use our busyness as the rationale for avoiding tasks that could make our lives easier. Social media, excessive concentration on our vocations, keeping up with the neighbors, squiring kids hither and yon leave no time for much other than sleep. In reality some of us leave little time for enjoying what is around us.

I was with a friend recently who was perplexed about what he felt was the aimlessness of his activities when in reality they weren’t aimless they were just misspent. His tasks had become almost ritual and of minimal value.  He just needed to stop what he was doing and start to smell the proverbial roses.

I think I may of sent the following to you before but with the return of warm weather it is worth repeating.

Find a Release

by: K.C. Leong

Open your eyes. What do you see? Do you see the crowds of people walking around? Look at their faces. Curious looks, snobs, anger, expressionless looks, looks of concentration. Did you notice the person that was smiling at you? Look again. See the trees waving to you in greetings?

Concentrate now on your hearing. What do you hear? Traffic? Discussions on the latest gossip? People on the cellular phones that are trying to compete with the noise? Cursing and swearing? Or the radio / television of your neighbors? But do you hear the songs of praises the birds in the day sings for you, or the lullaby the insects orchestrate for you in the night?

Now smell the air. Exhausts? Odors you feel repulsive? Smell again. Concentrate this time. You will find the fragrance of the perfect blossom.

Focus your senses to your skin. Feel the heat? The humidity? But did you not also notice the breeze that is gently trying to cool you? Feel the frost of the winter, biting through all your insulation. Again feel the warmth that the sun is wrapping around you in a warm embrace. And the warmth that is already within you that your heart is circulating.

There is always comfort around us if you know where to look. There is too much distractions in this society. Focus your senses in the correct way and you will find a release.

~~~

Today’s moment becomes memory of tomorrow. Embrace each moment with happiness, joy and fulfillment. Strive to enjoy your day to the fullest.

Anil Sinha

~~~

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? And….What the word team means?”

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?”

The little boy nodded yes.

“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?”

Once again the little boy nodded.

He continued, “And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach a “dumb ass” is it?”

Again the little boy nodded.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”

~~~

To be able to look back upon one’s past life with satisfaction is to live twice.

Marcus Valerius Martial

~~~

The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. “I just got some news, Mom,” he said. “The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” his mother said. “Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of these Canadian winters!”

~~~

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.

William Stafford

~~~

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”

Shouting back, the woman replies, “For crying out loud, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour that I’ll be ready in a minute!

~~~

I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up, but it wouldn’t make any difference.

Steven Wright

~~~

Jack hadn’t been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying,

“You look like Helen Brown.”

“Well,” the woman snapped back, “you don’t look so great in blue either!”

~~~

Don’t make things too complicated. Try to relax, enjoy every moment, get used to everything.

Angelique Kerber

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Yes, you!

Ray’s Daily

May 11, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“Start loving yourself and everything else will come.”

Lisa Lieberman-Wang

1-self-esteem

As you know I worry about the people I meet who don’t seem to realize just how good they are. Too many are their worst enemies, letting their own low self-esteem take them down. It does not have to be that way if they will stop and do an honest appraisal of themselves and then work to believe what they learn.

Everyone is in favor of high self-esteem — but cultivating it can be surprisingly tough. Psychologist Guy Winch explains why — and describes smart ways we can help build ourselves up. Here is part of the recent article he wrote that describes techniques to let the real you shine through.

Here are five ways to nourish your self-esteem when it is low:

  1. Use positive affirmations correctly – For affirmations to work when your self-esteem is lagging, tweak them to make them more believable. For example, change “I’m going to be a great success!” to “I’m going to persevere until I succeed!”
  2. Identify your competencies and develop them – Self-esteem is built by demonstrating real ability and achievement in areas of our lives that matter to us. If you pride yourself on being a good cook, throw more dinner parties. If you’re a good runner, sign up for races and train for them. In short, figure out your core competencies and find opportunities and careers that accentuate them.
  3. Learn to accept compliments – One of the trickiest aspects of improving self-esteem is that when we feel bad about ourselves we tend to be more resistant to compliments — even though that is when we most need them. The best way to avoid the reflexive reactions of batting away compliments is to prepare simple set responses and train yourself to use them automatically whenever you get good feedback (e.g., “Thank you” or “How kind of you to say”).
  4. Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion – Unfortunately, when our self-esteem is low, we are likely to damage it even further by being self-critical. Since our goal is to enhance our self-esteem, we need to substitute self-criticism (which is almost always entirely useless, even if it feels compelling) with self-compassion. Specifically, whenever your self-critical inner monologue kicks in, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if they were in your situation (we tend to be much more compassionate to friends than we are to ourselves) and direct those comments to yourself.
  5. Affirm your real worth – Make a list of qualities you have that are meaningful in the specific context. For example, if you failed to get a work promotion, list qualities that make you a valuable employee (you have a strong work ethic or are responsible). Then choose one of the items on your list and write a brief essay (one to two paragraphs) about why the quality is valuable and likely to be appreciated by other people in the future. Do the exercise every day for a week or whenever you need a self-esteem boost.

~~~

“Every person is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing. As individuals think and believe, so they are.”

Claude M. Bristol

~~~

“I’m prescribing these pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds.

“I don’t want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time….”

~~~

People who cough incessantly never seen to go to the doctor, they go to banquets, concerts, and church.

~~~

A blonde is on board a small two-seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. “Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!” she screams.

Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: “Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front”

~~~

“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

William Makepeace Thackeray

~~~

David wasn’t feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well David, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”

“I see,” said David. “Well, to be honest with you Doc, let’s go with second best.’

~~~

The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

Chauncey Depew

~~~

Jewish Mothers don’t differ from any other in the world when it comes to bragging about their sons.  One Mother, trying to out-do another when it came to opportunities available to their just graduated-from-college sons said, “My Irving has had so many fine interviews, his resume is now in its fifth printing.”

~~~

Benny the psychiatrist got a postcard one morning from one of his patients. It read, “Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here so you could tell me why.”

~~~

I was visitin’ over at the old Perfesser’s, when little Maury came over, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, “I got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?”

I said, “Sure, little Maury.”

So off to the backyard we went. When we got there, I saw his brand new bicycle.

“Boy, Maury!! That’s a beautiful bicycle,” I complimented. “Can you ride it?”

“Yeah, I can ride it,” he said, then with a sad face he pouted, “but it’s broke.”

I looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so I asked him, “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” little Maury shrugged, “but every time I ride it, it falls down!”

~~~

“One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go.”

Shiela Murray Bethel

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

A new challange

Ray’s Daily

May 10, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“Bring sunshine into the place you enter.”

Latika Teotia

Be of good cheer

The good news yesterday was that I got out of the house and visited a friend. The bad news was that my friend is my dentist and told me that my impacted tooth must be removed by an oral surgeon as soon as the antibiotics clear up the infection. The only good thing about that procedure is that it will make most other things in my life seem so much better. At least it will be a few days before they can do it.

I plan on doing what I do best until I recover, that is lunching with a few friends and visiting with you most mornings. I thought this was a good time to breakout one of my favorite things to do lists, so here goes.

Promise yourself

  • To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
  • To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
  • To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
  • To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
  • To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
  • To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
  • To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
  • To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
  • To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
  • To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
  • To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
  • To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

C.D. Larson

~~~

Let us be of good cheer, however, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come.

James Russell Lowell

~~~

Molly was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to her husband David. “David, you’ve been so good to me all these years. I know you never even thought about another woman. But now that I’m going, I want you to marry again as soon as is possible and I want you to give your new wife all my expensive clothes.”

“I can’t do that, my darling,” David said. “You’re a size 16 and she’s only a 10.”

~~~

Leadership is doing what is right when no one is watching.

George Van Valkenburg

~~~

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern.

“Oh, good,” she continued.  “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”

~~~

It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.

Josiah Stamp

~~~

If you upset your wife, she nags you…..

If you upset her even more, you get the silent treatment.

Don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?

~~~

If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.

Abraham Maslow

~~~

A little girl from Minneapolis came home from Sunday school with a frown on her face. “I’m not going back there anymore,” she announced with finality. “I don’t like the Bible they keep teaching us.”

“Why not?” asked her astonished mother.

“Because,” said the little girl, “that Bible is always talking about St. Paul, and it never once mentions Minneapolis.”

~~~

If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.

~~~

Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, “We’ve been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband has complained about the food. Not one night without complaining about the food.”

The other woman said, “That’s awful. Doesn’t it bother you?”

The first one said, “Why should I object if he doesn’t like his own cooking?”

~~~

“We have a mission to others–to add to their cheer. This we cannot do unless we have first learned the lesson of cheerfulness ourselves.”

J.R. Miller

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

A good idea from Peanuts

Ray’s Daily

May 9, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

Willie Nelson

Gratitude

As we grow older it is far too easy to succumb to the blahs due to aches and pains and unwanted challenges, I have found that the secret to graceful aging and more happiness in our lives is to focus on what we that we have that is good in our life.

I don’t care how old you are practicing gratitude is a great antidote for what ails you. I stumbled across an article on the PickTheBrain blog written by Erin Falconer that talks about the benefits of gratitude. Here in part is what she wrote.

Gratitude is the Most Powerful Way to Live Your Best Life

Are we ever truly happy? The answer to this depends largely on our personal definition of happiness, of course. If checking off the boxes of the things you hope to acquire or experience, such as living in a new city, or a dream job position, is that then, true happiness?  Or is it in the loving relationships you have with people that incite happiness? It is likely a mix of both in terms of your level of confidence and satisfaction with life, but the truth is, happiness is an intangible feeling that comes from within.

Nothing or no one is responsible for your happiness, but yourself.  Throughout history, those who seem to have the strongest levels of sustained happiness are those who find themselves in service of others, while expressing gratitude for what is good in their lives.

That is one thing we can all do, starting right now!

The Yellow Brick Road is Paved with Gratitude

Do you want a life you’re proud of? One where your dreams come true? Of course, you do! It isn’t easy. There’s no quick fix. You have to invest time, thought, and intention in every day. The good news? The path to the life you are craving only takes ten minutes a day, is fun, and simple. The answer is a gratitude practice. Yes, it really is that plain. By habitually showing appreciation for the people and experiences in your life, you can manifest the life you’re here to live.

Building the Yellow Brick Road

You might be surprised to know there is an abundance of scientific evidence proving the physical, mental, and emotional benefits of gratitude. In fact, Berkley has an entire institute that regularly shares these benefits. Here are some fun facts about the effects of practicing gratitude:

  • Healthy Heart, Lower Blood Pressure (it simply feels good)
  • Better Quality of Sleep (we can all use more of this)
  • Feelings of Greater Generosity (everyone wins here)
  • Stronger Immune System (so you can care for all your sick friends and family)
  • The Experience of More Joy and Pleasure (who wouldn’t love this?)
  • Stronger Personal Relationships (adding to the joy and quality of your life)

Seem too good to be true? I don’t blame you. If I wasn’t living and breathing it, I’d have the same skepticism.

~~~

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”

Zig Ziglar

~~~

A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Yukon who had never recorded a baptism, confirmation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every beaming couple that walked by. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. “The marriage service,” the chief said, smiling. “We all got new wives!”

~~~

You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

~~~

A couple is having breakfast when they hear on the radio that there is going to be a 2-3 inch snowfall and that they have to park their car on the “even” side of the street for snow removal. The blond wife grabs the car keys and moves the car to the opposite side of the block.

The next day at breakfast they hear that 4-5 inches of snow are expected and parking will be on the odd-numbered side of the street. Again blondie moves the car.

The day after that, they hear that a whopper of a snowstorm is expected, with 6-10 inches of snow set to fall, and that people should park on —

All of a sudden, the radio goes dead.

Blondie looks at her husband and in near hysterics and says, “What on earth should we do now?”

Without looking up from his coffee, he answers, “Maybe you should just leave the car in the garage.”

~~~

If not for STRESS I’d have no energy at all.

~~~

Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $275 a week.”

“That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

~~~

Two men were talking. One said, “It is hard on a man to lose his wife.”

The other agreed, “Yes, it is extremely hard. I kept leaving mine in malls but she always finds her way home.”

~~~

At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads, “Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L.L.D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice.”

Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears.  His brother says, “You should cry, pulling a stunt like this!”

Through his tears, Murray croaks, “You don’t understand!  They left out the phone number!”

~~~

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

Robert Brault

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

I’ll look for your balloon


Ray’s Daily

May 8, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.”

Margaret Lee Runbeck

happiness-healthyplace

Today is Primary Election Day here in Indiana. The pre-election campaigning for the Republican Senate nomination was the nastiest in my memory. The candidates sunk to  new lows as they slung mud at each other. Slander, innuendos and outright lies has been the norm, Policy discussions were replaced by personal attacks. What scares me is the possibility that we now tolerate such behavior. The great thing is that it will be over tonight.

Happiness and success does not come to those who are so self-centered that they spend so much time finding fault in others that they fail to discover how much we can do for each other. I know the walk is much easier when we do it together holding hands. Give the other guy a helping hand and you will love what you get back.

Find Happiness

Once a group of 50 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each attendee one balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let into that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon. Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker then began, “This is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.

Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life…the pursuit of happiness.”

~~~

“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.”

Roman Payne

~~~

Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet.  The trouble with most diets is that you don’t get enough to eat (the starvation diet), or you don’t get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet).

Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days, or go right back to stuffing their faces after it is all over.  Is there nothing you can do but give up and tell your friends you have a gland problem?

Well, now there’s the new Toddler Miracle Diet!  Over the years you may have noticed, as I have, that most two-year-olds are trim.  It came to me one day over a glass of water and a carrot that perhaps their diet is the reason.

After consultation with pediatricians, X-ray technicians, and distraught Moms, I was able to formulate this new diet.  It is inexpensive, offering great variety and sufficient quantity. Before embarking on this diet, however, be sure to check with your doctor — otherwise, you might have to see him afterward.

Good luck!

DAY ONE

Breakfast:  One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.  Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor.  Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.

Lunch:  Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).

Dinner:  A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.

Bedtime snack:  Toast a piece of bread and toss it on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO

Breakfast:  Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.

Lunch:  Half a tube of “Pulsating Pink” lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor).  One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon Snack:  Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt.  Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again.  Then bring inside and drop on the rug.

Dinner:  A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril.  Pour grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE

Breakfast:  Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair.  Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass.  After breakfast, pick up yesterday’s sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your best chair.

Lunch:  Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Spit several bites onto the floor.  Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

Dinner:  Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.

FINAL DAY

Breakfast:  A quarter-tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive.  Pour a glass of milk over bowl of Cornflakes, add a half cup of sugar.  Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.

Lunch:  Eat crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.

Dinner:  A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk.  Leave meatball on plate.  Stick of mascara for dessert.

~~~

I’m on a diet because my skin doesn’t fit me anymore.

Erma Bombeck

~~~

She said:

There are only two things to worry about.

Either you are well or you are sick.

If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about.

Either you will get well or you will die.

If you get well, there is nothing to worry about.

If you die, there are only two things to worry about.

Either you will go to heaven or hell.

If you go to heaven there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with friends you wouldn’t have time to worry!

~~~

“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.”

William Feather

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Good week ahead

Ray’s Daily

May 7, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“We become what we think about.”

Earl Nightingale

Positivity-Quotes-about-Life-min

I hope all is well with you. We have benefitted from nice weather, meeting with friends, andspending some time with family topped off by a day at the theatre. Our friends at the Actor’s Theatre of Indiana presented the award-winning musical The Mystery of Edwin Drood and it was wonderful. If you live in Central Indiana there still is time to see the show, if you do I think you will be glad you did.

I have a few lunches with friends this week along with plenty of time to enjoy the weather and more. As I have aged I find that I appreciate the simple things more than in the past. I found the following on the Let’s Redefine blog and it offers the keys to living a simpler , happier life.

SECRETS OF STAYING HAPPY

A few secrets which need to be followed religiously to make your day a happier one are:

Love people not things

It is okay to form a bond with that iPhone you bought last week, but is it okay to not lend it to your friends as you did for the previous phone? Things don’t last forever. People do. That iPhone doesn’t comfort you during a breakup, your friend does. Set your priorities straight and you will know their importance.

Don’t take things too seriously

It’s okay to leave the things as they are sometimes. Give it some time and things will automatically settle down. Don’t take extra pressure in overthinking and ending up being unhappy or cursing yourself.

Follow a healthy lifestyle

This may seem a little out of the context, but it is important that you follow a healthy regular routine. It pumps you up with energy so that you need not feel lazy around your work. Eating healthy and exercising results in productive work results.

Think positive

Positive thinking keeps your hopes high thus resulting in greater chances of happiness. Be positive in every aspect of your life whatever the circumstances are because “ Whatever happens, happens for a reason”

~~~

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

They have found, at the base of Mount Horeb, an ancient cave, unopened for three thousand years. Apparently this cavern was used by the Israelites to store and repair all the army’s rolling stock. There were hundreds of vehicles in all stages of repair that will keep archaeologists busy for years.

On of the mysteries was a container holding dozens of pieces of parchment that were apparently made to be carried on an upright spear into battle. The parchments were rolled into separate groups and, when the language scholars deciphered them they fell into several distinct groups — each containing a similar set of words.

The group with the most banners was a thick one with the same words on each. These apparently proclaimed, “Shout Huzzah if you love Moses.

Another group had wording which showed the Israelites grasp of the calendar, as they said, “In the name of Cain, Celebrate National Brotherhood Week.”

There were some that were apparently done to remind the people of the wrath of God, as they were printed with the slogan, “If you can see Sodom, you’re too darned close.”

It is amazing to find how safety minded the ancient people were. There were several banners which bore the writing, “Remember Goliath: support the ban on unlicensed slingshots.”

Finally, to indicate how the Israelites revered their elders, they found many banners that simply said, “In the name of Methuselah — be kind to senior citizens.”

~~~

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Josh Billings

~~~

A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. “I’ll have a pound of that salmon,” he said.

“That’s not salmon,” the clerk said, “it’s ham.”

“Mister,” the customer snapped, “in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!”

~~~

“I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.”

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.  One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”

~~~

The restaurant was so bad, the doggie bags had a warning: Not for consumption by real dogs.

~~~

Harry Epstein was downtown with his wife and four little children when he decided to take a taxicab home.

Approaching a cab driver, he demanded, “How much will you charge to drive us to the Bronx?”

“I figure $2 apiece for you and your wife,” said the driver. “I’ll take the four kids along for nothing.”

Harry Epstein turned to his children and said, “Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home. Momma and I will take the subway.”

~~~

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~~~

I am passing this on to you because, I think I have found inner peace.

I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things I had started.

Today I finished two bags of potato chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine, and a box of chocolate candy.

~~~

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so let us all be thankful.”

Buddha

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Let’s be friends

Ray’s Daily

May 4, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.

Anne Frank

be-happy-quote-feel-alive1

The other day a friend and me were having lunch at one of our favorite restaurants where we were served by two vivacious cheerful waitresses. They are the kind of folks that would brighten anyone’s day. I know the lunch was the highlight of my day due in part to these two.

My friend is one of those special people who is always ready to appreciate the people she meets, all being potentially a new friend. As we ate our lunch we discussed some of the friends we have common and how fortunate we are to have them in our lives.

Be always ready to like the people you meet for they are can become the cobble stones on life’s road that help make the journey a happy one. Here is a story I like, I hope you will too.

The Story of Life

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger) but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience help to create who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count!!! Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

~~~

The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters.

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock. In one situation, he was waiting at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he placed his suitcase in the car and took a seat next to it.

‘Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?’ asked the taxi driver.

Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver whether he knew him by sight.

‘No, sir, I have never seen you before.’

The puzzled Doyle asked him how he knew he was Conan Doyle.

‘This morning’s paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi-stand where people who return from Marseilles always come to. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink-spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you’re a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not French. And so, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.’

Doyle remarked, ‘This is truly amazing. You are a real-life counterpart to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes.’

‘There is one other thing,’ the driver said.

‘What is that?’

‘Your name is on the front of your suitcase.’

~~~

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.

Unknown

~~~

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys standing there holding a long list.

“Excuse me,” one of them explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used news paper to earn a dollar.”

“Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?”

“Our baby-sitter’s boyfriend.”

~~~

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.

Marian Anderson

~~~

A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the blond jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me, “Hey pal, I’m blond and I don’t like you telling all those blond jokes!”

So I said, “Well, they’re not against you, pal, just against anyone blond.”

“My mother is blond!” He screams, and pulls out a razor.

Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me, but luckily he couldn’t find a place to plug it in.

~~~

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Maya Angelou

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Keep it simple

Ray’s Daily

May 3, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

Confucius

Keep it simple

I had lunch with one of my favorite friends yesterday. She has been the CEO both of a major business and some high profile not-for-profits. She is a humanitarian, entrepreneur, educator, published author and more.

Some would question if so many endeavors detract from her overall success and they would be wrong. You see I know few who are more successful at being who they are. My friend is an inspiration for she continues as the years have gone by to do what inspires her. Her heart and skill have produced hundreds if not thousands of folks who are living better lives because of what she has done.

She is thriving now in part because she has simplified her life. We each can benefit by doing the same. Here is an abridged piece written by Henrik Edberg offering simplification tips.

Daily Simplicity

Use a very simple workspace. My workspace is just a laptop and a larger screen on a desk made out of wood. I use a comfy chair and there is room for my glass of water beside the computer. That’s it.

Cook more food than you’ll eat. We usually make 4-10 servings of what we are about to eat. This cuts down on time that you spend on cooking and you’ll have to do less washing up in general. Plus, you’ll have lunch for the day after. And sometimes a couple of portions to put in the freezer.

Write shorter emails.

Be 10 or 5 minutes early for meetings and appointments. This will help you to make your time of travel into a sort of break and a time of relaxation.

Spend only 20% of your time on dwelling on a problem. And 80% of your time focusing on a solution. Instead of the other way around.

Stop trying to do things perfectly. Go for good enough instead and when you are there you are done. Perfectionism makes it pretty impossible to find or maintain high self-esteem.

Stop trying to please everyone.

Eat slower. Make your lunch time a time of relaxation rather than a time to just add to the stress of your day.

Enjoy the simple pleasures. A pear. Fresh and clean bed sheets. A hug and a kiss. Holding hands. A laugh with friends. The sun and blossoming nature after a long and cold winter.

Give each item a home. Then you’ll know where to put the item when you have used it and easily find it again when you need it.

Write everything down. Pretty much everyone’s memory is leaky. So help yourself. Write down what you need to do or shop for today. Write down your ideas before they fly away.

Avoid making mountains out of molehills. When stressed about something ask yourself: will this matter 5 years from now? Or even 5 weeks from now?

Breathe. When you are lost in overwhelm, a problem or the past or future in your mind breathe with your belly for a minute or two and just focus on the air going in and out of your nostrils. This will calm your body down and bring your mind back into the present moment again.

~~~

Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious and adding the meaningful.

John Maeda

~~~

The teacher asked Johnnie, “Johnnie if I gave you two rabbits and then two more rabbits and then two more rabbits, how many would you have?”

Johnnie replied, “Seven rabbits, Teacher.”

The teacher asked again, “Listen Johnnie, If I gave you two rabbits, plus two more rabbits, plus two more rabbits…   How many rabbits would you have altogether?”

Johnnie smiled, “That’s easy, Teacher, I would have seven.”

“Ok Johnnie,” the teacher said. “Let’s try it a different way.  If I gave you two cans of pop, plus two more cans of  pop, plus two more cans of pop. How many cans of pop would you have?”

“Six cans.” Johnnie said.

“OK,” said the teacher. “Now think of that with this question.  “If I gave you two rabbits, then two more rabbits,  then two more rabbits how many would you have?”

“Seven, Teacher.” Johnnie said.

“Why seven?” the teacher asked, exasperated.

Johnnie replied, “Because I already have one rabbit at home!”

~~~

SHE SAID: Say you love me! Say you love me!

HE SAID : You love me…

~~~

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the  wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world,  I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We  Gather at the River.”

~~~

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.”

~~~

Jewish lady’s grandson is playing in the water, she is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. He simply vanished.

She holds her hands to the sky, screams and cries, “Lord, how could you? Have I not been a wonderful mother and grandmother? Have I not given to B’nai Brith and Haddasah? Have I not tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?”

A few minutes later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there, smiling, splashing around as if nothing had ever happened. A loud voice booms from the sky, “Okay, okay, I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?”

She responds, “He had a hat.”

~~~

You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~~~

A university creative writing class was asked to write a short essay containing these four elements:

– religion

– royalty

– sex

– mystery

The prize-winning essay read: “My God,” said the Queen. “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”

~~~

Keep it simple. Let’s do the obvious thing -the common thing- but let’s do it uncommonly well.

Leo Burnett

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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