May 23, 2018
Concentrate on where you want to go, not on what you fear.
I think we all need to be our own best friend, a friend who is always ready to raise our spirits. Of course we also need to appreciate the friends who are a positive influence on our lives. What we don’t need is an excess of unwarranted criticism from ourselves or others.
Too many folks take even erroneous criticism to heart causing them to stumble as they avoid doing very much. It does not have to be that way. Here are tips from the Wings for the Heart blog that can help us all.
Believing in Yourself, Even When Others Don’t
How do we avoid letting other people’s negativity erode our belief in ourselves? There are three major points to keep in mind:
1) Reinforcement = Strength. Think of positive thoughts as the antidote to any negativity that comes your way. Feed your mind empowering, positive thoughts daily, preferably several times a day – and most especially after you encounter negativity from another.
The stronger you can build up your belief in yourself, the less you will care about others who insult you, ridicule you, or reject you. You won’t be looking to others for your sense of validation or approval, because you will already have your OWN approval.
2) Conserve Your Energy. While it might be tempting to try to explain, defend, or prove yourself to someone who rejects you, this is usually a waste of your time and energy. Once someone forms an opinion of you, they are unlikely to change it.
The more you try to change their minds, the more stubbornly they will dig their heels in and resist. So, simply release your need to prove yourself and accept that they are entitled to their opinions. Their comments and opinions cannot detract from your belief in yourself, unless you allow them to.
3) Limit Your Exposure. Once a person reveals their negative opinion or directs hurtful comments your way, you might want to avoid spending excessive time with them in the future.
This becomes more difficult if it is a family member that you can’t just shut out of your life completely. But you can still set boundaries and limit the amount of time you are faced with negativity.
Finally, remember that no one else can define you, or live your life for you, or take away the beauty and uniqueness that is you. They may try, but they won’t be successful unless you allow it. If you instead choose to turn away from the negativity and focus on building a solid foundation of belief in yourself, the negative comments will cease to matter to you. You will go on to create a fulfilling, successful life that reflects exactly who you are, regardless of what others say or do.
A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
Tips from the kids:
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.– Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.– Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don’t want any more kids.– Lori, age 8
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they’re rich.– Pam, age 7
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?– Kelvin, age 8
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
One of those physical fitness club franchises was preparing to enter the international market. They placed ads in newspapers all over the county for people who could represent them on a tour. The ad said: We’re looking for five men in peak physical condition. Must be able to speak Spanish, French, Chinese, or Japanese. Must be knowledgeable about weights, aerobics, and at least two major sports.
The day after the ad appeared, a heavy man of about 70 appeared in the offices of the fitness club. “I’m here about the ad,” he said.
The bronzed Adonis behind the desk looked surprised, but decided to be polite. “Do you speak Spanish or French?” he asked.
“Nope,” the old man said.
“No, both times.”
“Know anything about weights or aerobic exercises?”
“Only that I wouldn’t be caught dead with either one.”
“How about sports?”
“I’ve never played anything more taxing than checkers.”
“I see,” the young man said. “Tell me something. Why did you come here?”
“To tell you to count me out.”
“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”
James Matthew Barrie
The young rancher came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup from the parking lot!”
Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was? The young rancher answered, I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”
All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. . . . You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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