March 16, 2018
Hear me, four quarters of the world – a relative I am! Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is! Give me the eyes to see and the strength to understand, that I may be like you. With your power only can I face the winds.
My computer and me are quitting early today so we are sending you what we published twelve years ago.
Ray’s Daily first published on March 16, 2006
Globalization, immigration, melting ice caps, pandemics, natural disasters, genocide, trade deficits, famine, poverty, brain drain, the internet, instant news, terrorism, conflict, global collaboration, the list could on and on. Never in history have people like you and I been so much a part of a global community, the world has become the city in which we all live. And just like in the cities of the past we are too often segregated and tied to our local neighborhoods while we too easily miss what is happening on the other side of the tracks. Our global neighborhoods are constantly changing, there is new music to hear, new food to taste, and really interesting people to meet. Our new neighbors have different accents, they do much of the work that needs to be done, and they enrich our communities by bringing some of their culture into our lives. Just as it was in America at the turn of the century, people, cultures, ideas, and values are on the move. And just like it was then we can choose to isolate ourselves or enrich our lives by embracing the good things that are there for us when we team with our neighbors.
There was never a time when we were needed more nor when the tasks appear more daunting. Unfortunately, some people have locked themselves away, often due to their fear of the unknown. Others are so centered on instant self-gratification that they are blind to the investments we must make if we are to avoid the disaster that may befall us in the future only because we did not care enough. However, I sincerely believe that the majority of our neighbors are good people, just like you and I, and that their lack of involvement is because they are overwhelmed by it all and don’t know where to find out how they might do more.
Fortunately there are those trying to do something about the problem. As an example, I recently had the good fortune to sit in on a meeting of leaders from various organizations that are dedicated to building bridges between Central Indiana and the rest of the world. Our discussions gravitated to those fellow citizens who want to learn and do, but just don’t know how to get started. The group decided they would establish an on-line clearing house to match those that want to do something with those who have something to do. It will be like an internet based employment agency for volunteers or a dating service for those that want to bring some adventure into their lives by becoming involved in the world around us. I was glad I had the opportunity to meet with a group of leaders who are doing something, rather than meeting with people who just sit back observing our problems while missing our opportunities.
I never know what I am going to write when I sit down at my computer each day to put the daily together for its midnight trip around the world. As you often see, I am a champion typo generator, I use bad grammar, and am prone to disjointed thoughts. Often my passion for the subject at hand takes hold and results in lengthy pieces, today is one of those days.
We have some great neighbors, do yourself a favor and go out and meet some of them. I know you will be glad you did.
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?” One man stepped forward. “Aye, Captain, I know how to pray.”
“Good,” said the captain, “You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets. We’re one short.”
At times I was asked to provide references for former employees by companies considering hiring them. On one firm’s form was the question: “Was this person a steady worker?”
Since the guy was a well known do-nothing, I entered “Not just steady, but motionless” in the space provided.
She said: My daughter Glenda was watching me prepare for bed. I had washed my face and was applying face cream. Glenda asked why I was putting that stuff on. I told her it was to make Momma beautiful. She immediately informed me, “They lied to you, Momma”!
One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.
Security experts and federal government authorities warn that offspring of the dangerous “I love you” e-mail virus are now on the loose. As a public service, Mombeau presents the following list of “I Love You” mutations and how to recognize them:
The “I Love You, But I’m Shy” virus never actually invades your computer, but collects data about it worshipfully from afar.
The “Love The One You’re With” virus hangs around your computer, but the whole thing is just temporary until it can find the computer that it really wants to invade.
The “Happily Married” virus invades only one computer and stays with it for life.
The “Unhappily Married” virus spends a long time negotiating with a computer, finally invades it, and then strays to other computers from time to time.
The “I Want A Divorce” virus sends repeated, hard-to-read messages that your computer isn’t working and takes half of your computer’s best data in an ugly network session.
The “Stalker” virus spends unnatural amounts of time monitoring your computer, collecting data your computer has thrown away and tries to record all of its functions. And it writes rude messages to any other computer with which yours connects on any regular basis.
The “Forever Single” virus causes your computer to focus solely on other computers with which it is totally incompatible or prove generally unavailable.
The “Deadbeat Dad” virus invades your computer, spawns an entirely new database, then refuses to help update it as it grows.
Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
One evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished – something’ was up.
It turns out that John had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.
The night went well and the next day, she told her office friends all about it.
“We had a great dinner. John even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening.”
“But what about afterward?” asked her friends.
“Oh, that was perfect too. John was too tired…”
Are you humbly grateful? Or grumbly hateful?
Pastor Roland Smith
A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy.
“Nothing easier,” Twain replied. “No man can serve two masters.”
The really happy man is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and sent him into the river where he drowned.
The following Sunday his widow, all decked out in deepest black, was standing on the church steps after Mass, receiving condolences, when an old friend of the contractor came up.
“I’m sorry, Mary, for your trouble,” offered the friend. “Did Mike leave you well fixed?”
“Oh, he did!” she said. “He left me almost a half million dollars.”
“Well now, that’s not bad for a man who couldn’t read or write.”
“Nor swim either,” added the widow.
The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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