February 12, 2018
Respect for the truth comes close to being the basis for all morality.
I hope things are going well for you. I am about to try to resume a more normal life after almost a month of recovering from my rib injury. So I will gradually get back.
If you are like I am you are distressed by how much time is spent attacking others with half-truths and even falsehoods. It seems like the effort to destroy others has many who feel that the ends justify the means even if the means are false creations. I liked it when we were better than that.
Here is a story I picked up some time ago that I would offer to the muckrakers and mudslingers.
The Triple-Filter Test
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”
“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“Well, no,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now, let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“Umm, no, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about my friend, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left—the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really.”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
Irving took Harry to a celebratory dinner at a really posh restaurant.
They walked in, were ushered to a table by a formally dressed host and sat down at a table on which were displayed the finest china and crystal. Taking the damask napkin from the solid silver napkin ring, Harry unfolded it, put it around his neck and proceeded to tie a knot in the back.
Staring at him, the host said, between gritted teeth, “Sir, will you be having a shave or a haircut?”
It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they’ll know as little as their parents.
A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. “I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a five dollar bill to a bum.”
“You gave a bum five whole dollars? That’s a lot of money to just give away. What did you husband say about it?”
“Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, ‘Thanks.’ ”
“I Used to Have a Handle on Life, but It Broke”
Two cab drivers were waiting for fares in front of a downtown hotel.
“Hey,” asked one, “why did you paint one side of your cab red and the other side blue?”
“Well,” the other responded, “when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.”
The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, then asked the navigator, “Do you know what I use this for?”
The nav replied timidly, “No, what’s it for?”
The pilot responded, “I use this on navigators who get me lost!”
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table.
The pilot asked, “What’s that for?”
“To be honest sir,” the nav replied, “I’ll know we’re lost before you will.”
I think someone should invent Beerguard, because how often do you actually spill Scotch on the carpet?
After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family.
“But–where is your beard?” asks his mother upon seeing him.
“Mama,” he replies, “In America, nobody wears a beard.”
“But at least you keep the Sabbath?”
“Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath.”
“But kosher food you still eat?”
“Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher.”
The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, “Isaac, tell me you’re still circumcised?”
“When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer him.”
Heather, age 16
“Dana,” asked Kim thoughtfully one day, “what would you do if you caught another woman in bed with your husband?”
“With Jack?” Dana thought it over. “Let’s see; I’d break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from.
“If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem. It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all of the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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