January 10, 2018
Caring – Kindness – Compassion – Appreciation …It is my choice to care deeply about others.
Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have learned that I need to do all I can to help my wife as she struggles with her health and memory issues. I am glad to make her my number one priority these days. If the result is that I have to let other activities go then so be it. She has given me so much for more than 60 years that I am glad to do all I can for her.
We, like most couples have had our ups and downs over the years. I know there has been many times when I made my wants primary not always considering hers. Now it is time to put that behind me while I concentrate on her needs.
I find that The 10 Most Important Things We Can Do for the People We Love written by Lori Deschene is a great prescription for the days ahead. Here is what she offers:
People. Life is all about people. So this year, instead of focusing mostly on everything I want to gain or achieve, I plan to live each day with the following intentions in mind.
I intend to…
Be present. – I will put down my phone and focus fully on the person in front of me. My texts and emails will be there later. The person in front of me won’t.
Listen deeply. – Instead of plotting what I’m going to say next, or collecting mental buckets of sage advice I can’t wait to dole out, I will listen completely, with the primary goals of understanding and being there.
Speak truthfully. – Even when it feels awkward and uncomfortable, I will share what’s true for me. I won’t exclude the messy parts, no matter how tempting it may be to try to appear perfect. The jig is up—I’m not. Not even close! And neither are you. Let’s be beautiful messes together.
Accept fully. – I will see your quirks and your edges and your shortcomings and your peccadillos and will accept them all as crucial parts of the complete package that is you.
Interpret compassionately. – Instead of assuming the worst, I will give you the benefit of the doubt, as I would want to receive it. I’ll assume you didn’t mean to be rude or to hurt my feelings. That it came out wrong, or you were triggered and reacting from a place of hurt, or you were simply having a bad day. And then I’ll stop assuming and ask to verify, “Is everything okay?”
Forgive often. – I will take every perceived slight or offense and put it through my mental shredder before I go to sleep each night. And if I can’t let it go, perhaps because it’s too big to simply discard, I’ll tell you how I feel and what I need so we can work through it together.
Appreciate vocally. – I will let you know that I admire how you always stick up for the little guy and love how you make everyone laugh. I will compliment you on your passions, your parenting, and how you exude peace, because you’re awesome and you should know it.
Give freely. – I will give my love, support, understanding, and well wishes; I’ll give things new and old that I think will be helpful. If there’s something you need that I no longer do, I’ll send it with a note that reads, “I thought you could put this to good use. And if not, sorry for sending you clutter!”
Remain unbiased. – I will put aside everything I think I know about you based on who you appear to be, and will be open-minded when you tell me or show me what you believe and what you stand for.
Love anyway. – Even if you’re stubborn or moody or judgmental, I will love you anyway. And when I’m stubborn, moody, and judgmental I’ll try to do the same for myself. I’ll try to rise above petty thoughts and sweeping generalizations and keep sight of who you and I really are: good people who are doing our best to navigate a sometimes-painful world.
I think one of the most important things in a relationship is caring for your significant other through good times and bad.
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!”
“Really?” he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.
A clerk answers and Tom says, “Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?”
The clerk replies, “Canned or frozen?”
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
JOHNNY: I is…
TEACHER: No, Johnny. Always say “I am.”
JOHNNY: All right. “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and only half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.
A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned “What if the place is still bugged?” The groom says “I’ll look for a bug”. He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug “AHA!” Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the disc out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds “How was your room?”, “How was the service?”, “How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?” The groom says, “Why are you asking me all of these questions?” The hotel manager says “Well, the room under you complained of the chandelier falling on them!”
Caring for our seniors is perhaps the greatest responsibility we have. Those who walked before us have given so much and made possible the life we all enjoy.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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