Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

December 27, 2017

mailto:ray@iquest.net

Two men look out through the same bars:

One sees the mud, and one the stars.

FREDERICK LANGBRIDGE

stay poitive

As you know some days are better than others. Yesterday was one of the not so good ones for me, I went to the Bureau Motor Vehicles think I knew exactly were it was, either some one sold the building or I was wrong. I went to a couple of stores to purchase something my wife wanted and someone had already bought all both stores had, I then went to get Ice from my refrigerator and found that the ice maker had quit working. And to top things off just as I was putting dinner on the table a toilet over flowed flooding the bathroom

You want to know what was good about yesterday? It is going to make today seem so much better than it might of without yesterday. I really think a happy lifre is dependent on how we see things. Here is a story that reminds us that how we see our world is up to us.

The Two Travelers

There was once a traveler who was walking from a village in the mountains to a village in the valley. As he walked along, he saw a monk working in a field, so he stopped and said to the monk, “I’m on my way to the village in the valley, can you tell me what it’s like?”

The monk looked up from his labor and asked the man where he had come from. The man responded, “I have come from the village in the mountains.”

“What was that like?”  the monk asked.

“Terrible!”  the man exclaimed, “no-one spoke my language, I had to sleep on a dirt floor in one of their houses, they fed me some sort of stew that had yak or dog or both in it and the weather was atrocious.”

“Then I think that you will find that the village in the valley is much the same,” the monk noted.

A few hours later another traveller passed by and he said to the monk, “I am on my way to the village in the valley, can you tell what it’s like?”

“Where have you come from?” enquired the monk.

“I have come from the village in the mountains.”

“And what was that like?”

“It was awesome!” the man replied, “No-one spoke my language so we had to communicate using our hands and facial expressions.  I had to sleep on the dirt floor which was really cool as I’ve never done that before.  They fed me some sort of weird stew and I have no idea what was in it but just to experience how the locals lived was great and the weather was freezing cold, which meant that I really got a taste of the local conditions.  It was one of the best experiences of my life.”

“Then I think that you’ll find that the village in the valley is much the same,” responded the monk.

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.  Don’t allow the challenges of life to take away your joy.

There are lots of reasons to complain and be miserable if that’s how you look at life.

There are lots of reasons to be enthusiastic and joyful if that’s how you look at life.

How do you look at life?

~~~

It’s not that optimism solves all of life’s problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing.

LUCY MACDONALD

~~~

MEMO: PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYEE ASSESSMENT

Subject: Prospective Employee Assessment

To: All Managers

The following guidelines shall be used when hiring new personnel.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

And if they have left early, put them in Sales.

~~~

In front of every silver lining, is a cloud.

~~~

A woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, “Mount Sinai Hospital? Hello. Darling, I’d like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don’t want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse, I want all the information from top to bottom.”

The voice on the other end of the line said, “Finkel… Finkel, Let me see… Feinberg, Farber — Finkel. Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals, her doctor says if she continues improving he is going to send her home Tuesday.”

The woman said, “Thank God! That’s wonderful! She’s going home on Tuesday. I’m so happy to hear that. That’s wonderful news.”

The guy on the other end said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be one of the close family.”

She said, “What close family? I’m Sarah Finkel! My doctor tells me nothing!”

~~~

If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister?

~~~

A woman walked up to the manager of a department store.
“Are you hiring any help?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “We already have all the staff we need.”
“Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?” she asked.

~~~

You don’t have to be in Who’s Who to know what’s what.

Bennett Cerf

~~~

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.

“This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?”

“No, madam,” replied the attendant.  “That one’s called a mirror.”

~~~

“When you’re focused on finding a positive angle to challenges or looking for the bright side to life, you find yourself being more optimistic.”

Alex Uwajeh

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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