Ray's musings and humor

Thanks good people

Ray’s Daily

December 8, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.

Aldous Huxley

good people

Today is another one of these days where my brain slowed while there is still a daily to write. In order not to embarrass myself I am going to rely on your poor memory and send you a reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on December 8, 2005

Do you know why it is great to get out amongst the people? For me it is the chance to see others at their best and at their worst providing me the opportunity to see myself in others. Once I do I can avoid the negative behaviors that are displayed by so many and strive to reinforce those things that the good people I meet display everyday. Even if I can’t always do as well as I wish, I hope I never behave like some I meet, they must be some of the most unhappy people in the world. They whine, complain, and find fault with everything, it is no wonder they have few real friends. To them the world stinks, I just wish they would learn that it does for them but does not for most others; it is the world they make for themselves.

My most recent experience was on my latest cruise. There were a few that could not keep from telling us the food was bad, the rules were Mickey Mouse, the service was lousy, their shipmates all had faults, and on and on and on. They were easy to walk away from as they wallowed in their sorrows. Meanwhile the rest of us loved the food, enjoyed the weather, had a great time, and best of all spent our time with the good guys.

Sometime ago my friend Shirley sent me the following. I love the concept. To me it is saying if you don’t like it make it better, if you don’t want to expend the energy please shut up and don’t try to take the rest of us down with you. I am glad none of this applies to you, that is why I like you so much.

Those who actually solve problems spend very little time complaining about them. Problems are turned into opportunities not by complaining or blaming or endless analysis, but by thoughtful and determined action. When you’re busy solving a problem you’re working to transform it from a negative to a positive. When you merely complain, then you’re investing yourself in perpetuating the negativity of that problem. Complaining is easy, and it usually just worsens the situation. Taking positive action is indeed the more challenging course, for it involves effort and commitment.

Taking action requires you to make real-life decisions, to look at the tradeoffs and to weigh the value of different options. When you take action, you must be willing to put yourself on the line.

For the results are not going to be perfect, and there is always the possibility of failure. When that happens you learn from it and make another, more informed, more determined effort.

Commit to taking thoughtful, persistent action. And it will take you where you want to go.

~~~

A man was lying on the psychiatrist’s couch as his therapist addressed him.

“Well, Jim. I’m pleased to announce that this will be our final session. I believe that you finally are cured of your paranoia.”

“Yes, doctor. I am.”

“I remember how you used to think that men in black were following you everywhere. But you don’t believe that anymore, do you?”

“No, doctor. I don’t”

“I remember also how you used to think that black helicopters were hovering over your house. But you don’t believe that anymore either, do you?”

“No, doctor. I don’t”

“Finally, I remember how you used to think that CIA agents were monitoring your mail, bugging your phone, and snooping into your affairs. But you don’t believe that anymore either, do you?”

“No, doctor. I don’t. Thanks to your therapy, I no longer harbor such delusions. In fact, you’ve been so helpful to me, that I’m really sorry that I have to kill you now,” said Jim, as he pulled out a gun.

The psychiatrist was shocked. “Wait a minute. Why do you have to kill me?”

“You know too much.”

~~~

Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in.

Gustav Flaubert

~~~

Susan’s teenage son was having problems mastering the finer points of managing his new checking account.

“The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store, son.”

“Oh, good!” he said…”Now I can use it to buy some stereo equipment!”

~~~

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

~~~

I graduated from a private school that I didn’t like much. Once I was outta there, I had no particular desire to ever contribute to their latest fund drive or future athletic events. Sure enough, Alumni Affairs staff called my folks, got my current number and tracked me down. “So, what have you been doing with yourself?” the perky alumnus asked. I responded, “Oh, not a lot. Just stealing cars and running moonshine.”

They’ve never called back.

~~~

He who hesitates is probably right.

~~~

She said: I wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appointment with a highly recommended stylist. I was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday I got there by 9 a.m., only to learn that it was that hairdresser’s day off. I drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so I went home. My husband greeted me at the door. “That was fast,” he said cheerfully. “Your hair looks great!”

~~~

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Rita Rudner

~~~

A man was placed in intensive care, needles stuck everywhere, tubes running over his disease-ridden body like a spider’s web, nearly comatose. A week later, a second man was put in the same room in very nearly the same condition.

Both men lay there, near death, machines pinging, oxygen tubes puffing, monitors ding-donging, lights flashing. After a few days, one of the men summoned the strength to weakly raise his hand and catch the other man’s attention. He pointed to himself and wheezed out, “Jim………..my.”

The other man weakly pointed to himself and said, “Paddy.”

This act tired them both out so badly it was another day or two before they had the strength to try again. The first man weakly pointed to himself and murmured in almost inaudible tones, “Scottish.”

The second man replied, “Irish.”

Again the fatigue set in and they both fell fast asleep. In another couple of days they were at it again.

Jim took several deep breaths, then summoned up the strength to cough out, “Glasgow.”

Paddy whispered back, “Dublin.”

This time they were both a little stronger and could continue.

“Cancer”, said Jim.

“…Sagittarius,” replied Paddy.

~~~

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that.

~~~

The minister’s little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn’t go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.

When Saturday arrived, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind.  When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic after all, the child’s reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.

“Why, what’s the matter, honey?  I thought you’d be happy to go to the picnic.” her mother said.

“It’s too late!” the little girl replies sarcastically. . .   “I’ve already prayed for rain!”

~~~

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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