December 7, 2017
“Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem.”
2017 has been a challenging year for me. My health issues have been minor compared to my wife’s ordeals. We have had to adjust to a more moderate life style as my caregiver responsivities have increased. While I miss some of the things I like to do I have found that my wife and I have never been closer.
We are blessed by having our three children nearby as they go out of their way to ease our burdens by doing some of the heavy lifting. In the process I have also learned how useless anger for what we can’t control really is. I have banked a lot of positive memories and continue to benefit from the friendship of many so like they say “don’t complain because things aren’t what the once were just be grateful for all there once was.
The ever-wise Marc Chernoff recently published a piece on how to cope with reality. I have excerpted his recommendations to share with you today. Here is what he wrote:
10 Things to Remember When the Going Gets Tough
As we journey through our personal and professional lives, there will inevitably be periods of incredible frustration and despair. During those tough times, it will sometimes appear to us that we’ve lost everything, and that nothing and nobody could possibly motivate us to move onward in the direction of our dreams. But we are all holding with us a backpack of support that comes in many forms—it can be a simple email or text message from someone we respect, inspiring blog posts, insightful books, helpful neighbors, supportive communities, and so much more.
When the going gets tough—when we’re feeling utterly down and discouraged—we need to remember…
1.To trust the journey, even when we do not understand it.
2.To accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in the road ahead.
3.To start exactly where we are, use what we have, and do what we can, one step at a time.
4.To look for the blessings hidden in every struggle we face, and be willing to open our hearts and minds to them.
5.To recognize our backpack of support—our external sources of hope and motivation—before a random guru (or someone with far more crooked intentions) has to steal it from us so that we can finally see what we have always taken for granted.
6.To be present and tap into our own hearts and minds—our internal sources of hope and motivation—which have the power to push us back up on our feet and guide us down the road to our backpack of support, even when it appears to be lost forever.
7.To laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and appreciate the lessons found at each twist and turn.
8.To not compare our progress with that of others, and accept that we all need our own time to travel our own distance.
9.To see how many of the things we never wanted or expected, ultimately turn out to be what we need.
10.To be OK with not ending up exactly where we intended to go, while opening ourselves up to the possibility of eventually arriving precisely in the right place at the right time.
Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.
Martha Stewart’s Holiday Calendar
December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards.
December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine.
December 3 Using candlewick and hand-gilded miniature pinecones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener.
December 4 Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim.
December 5 Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself.
December 6 Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration.
December 7 Debug Windows 10
December 10 Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth.
December 11 Lay Faberge egg.
December 12 Take Dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble.
December 13 Collect Dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts.
December 14 Install plumbing in gingerbread house.
December 15 Replace air in SUV tires with Glade “holiday scents” in case tires are shot out at mall.
December 17 Childproof the Christmas tree with garland of razor wire.
December 19 Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest will be same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat.
December 20 Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in confectioner’s sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture.
December 21 Drain city reservoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks.
December 22 Float votive candles in toilet tank.
December 23 Seed clouds for white Christmas.
December 24 Do my annual good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel less inadequate than they really are.
December 25 Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color coordinated manger scented with homemade potpourri.
December 26 Organize spice racks by genus and phylum.
December 27 Build snowman in exact likeness of God.
December 31 New Year’s Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country.
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.”
“That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. “Hmm… How do you start a flood?” he asked.
There is logic in this; he is unbiased– he hates all creative people equally.
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.”
The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”
“Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.”
I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.”
“Well, then we need a urine sample.”
“I’m sorry officer I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I’ll get really low blood sugar.”
“Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.”
“I can’t do that, officer.”
“Because I’m drunk.”
“I guess in the end, it doesn’t matter what we wanted. What matters is what we chose to do with the things we had.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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