Ray's musings and humor

Are you ready for December?

Ray’s Daily

December 1, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.

Kevin Kruse

do right

Here we are, the last month of the year. 2017 seems to be flying by at an unprecedented rate. I think I am taking more time to do less things than I have in the past. I guess that’s part of graceful aging,

I am amazed at how the readership of Ray’s Daily has grown over the last 17 years. WordPress has stored about 2600 back issues. They report that there have been almost 5000 readers including nearly 500 who have become subscribers. Many hundreds of you are on the direct mailing lists and still others get it via the social media. When I started this in 2000 it went to a few friends I had no idea it would grow this much.

Whenever I think about stopping I worry that my life would lose some of its luster if I did not have to stop and think about our world almost every day. I also truly appreciate being connected to so many of you, many who have become friends.

Here is an old story that reminds me how we get treated in life by how we treat others.

A Pound of Butter

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to a baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting the right amount, which he wasn’t. Angry about this, he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure to weight the butter. The farmer replied, “Honor, I am primitive. I don’t have a proper measure, but I do have a scale.”

The judge asked, “Then how do you weigh the butter?”

The farmer replied;

“Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker.”

Moral of the story: In life, you get what you give.

~~~

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

During a recent publicity outing, Christy sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her.

“Will I be acquitted?”

~~~

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.

~~~

PROCRASTINATOR’S CREED

  1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
  2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
  3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
  4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
  5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
  6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
  7. If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.
  8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
  9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
  10. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever I will.

~~~

If at first you don’t succeed, try management.

~~~

She said:

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man you would have preferred.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

Marriage still confers one very special privilege – only a married person can get divorced.

Only a man would buy a $1500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

~~~

Quotes from job interviews of some famous people.

Pandora – I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things.

Genghis Khan – My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job, I downsized my staff, my organization, and the populations of several countries.

MacBeth – Would I go after my boss’s job? Do I look like the kind of guy who would knock off his boss for a promotion?

Lady Godiva – What do mean this isn’t business casual?

Elvis – My last boss and I… say, are you going to eat those fries?

~~~

The child comes home from his first day at school.

His mother asks, “Well, what did you learn today?”

The kid replies, “Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow.”

~~~

Start where you are. Use what you have.  Do what you can.

Arthur Ashe

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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