November 8, 2017
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
If you are like I am you avoid angry people whenever possible. I know we have many things that happen tht are upsetting but I seldom find that anger is the solution. Angry people tend to become irrational and act impulsively. Even worse they seldom stop to see if their anger is justified.
I have found that anger hurts the person who is angry while seldom if ever solves a problem. Recently Marc Chernoff published a check list for folks who want to manage their tendency to get mad. Here is what he thinks we should think about before we fly off the handle.
Chernoff’s anger management check list
1.Calmness is a superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace.
2.Even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them.
3.You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
4.There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors. The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours. (Angel and I discuss this further in the “Self-Love” chapter of our book.)
5.Oftentimes people do things and say things because they’ve been conditioned to, not because they consciously want to.
6.You can’t control how people receive your energy. Whatever someone interprets, or projects onto you, is at least partially an issue or problem that they themselves are dealing with.
7.Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally. Weigh what you hear from others against what you know in your heart to be true.
8.If you’re willing to view the behavior of other people as indicative of their relationship with themselves, then you will inevitably take things less personally.
9.If you truly wish to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them. Stop allowing other people to dominate your emotions. (Angel and I build powerful self-confidence rituals with our students in the “Love and Relationships” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
10.All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby. And that’s the tragedy of living. So when people are rude, be kind, be mindful, be your best. Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.
The opposite of anger is not calmness, its empathy.
There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail.
The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, “Where do you work?”
The man said, “Here and there.”
The judge then asked the man, “What do you do for a living?”
The man said, “This and that.”
The judge then said, “Take him away.”
The man said, “Wait, judge when will I get out?”
The judge said, “Sooner or later.”
“Suicidal Blonde Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!”
A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty junior for a dance at the homecoming.
She gave him the once-over and said, “Sorry, I won’t dance with a child.”
“Please forgive me,” responded the underclassman. “I didn’t realize you were pregnant.”
Preacher’s wife to preacher as he leaves for Sunday service:
Remember! Don’t call anyone a sinner until AFTER the collection.
The lady lawyer approached the jury box and began an eloquent plea for her client: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I want to tell you about this man. There’s so much to say that is good: he never beat his mother; he was always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule; he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest. Everyone loves him and. . . ”
Her client leaned over to a friend and said, “How do like her? I pay her good dough to defend me, and she’s telling the jury about some other guy.”
My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
Two blondes are racing down a bumpy back road in a pretty beat up car down to a bank they’re going to rob. “Drive slower,” pleads the one in the passenger seat, “I don’t want all the dynamite in the trunk to explode.”
“Relax,” the driver replies. “Even if it did, I’ve got a spare box under the passenger seat.”
“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.”
Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well-dressed man when he got to the luggage carousel.
Mr. Smith walked over to the fellow and pointed out the colored ribbons tied to the handle, and the fluorescent tape on the sides.
“I believe that luggage is mine. Were your bags marked like this?” he asked.
“Actually,” the man replied, “I was wondering who did this to my luggage.”
“Don’t worry,” a patient told his psychiatrist. “I’ll pay every cent I owe or my name isn’t Alexander the Great!”
Morris had proposed to young Sarah, and was being interviewed by Sam, his prospective father-in-law. “Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?” the older man asked Morris the suitor.
“Yes, sir,” replied Morris, “I’m sure that I am.”
“Think long and carefully now,” said Sarah’s father. “There are twelve of us…including Uncle Izzy”
Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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