Ray's musings and humor

Archive for October, 2017

Keep it simple

Ray’s Daily

October 17, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

Leonardo Da Vinci

simplify

I am at the point in my life where I have few obligations and less demands to produce, yet I still let to many things pile up. In reality there is no good reason that I have to read all the magazines I get nor analyze every e-mailed article. I don’t want to descend into boredom and I really don’t have to just taking an interest in the world around me I just have to scale back..

Recently Marc Chernoff wrote a piece on ways to uncomplicate our lives. After reading it I was sure it was meant for me. Like DaVinci Chernoff reminds us that complicated is not the answer. Here in part is what he wrote.

How can we bring more simplicity into our complex lives? How can we uncomplicate things for ourselves? It’s time for a reality check…

Life is actually pretty simple, but we insist on making it complicated! Here are a few easy ways to uncomplicate it:

Learn from the past, and then get the heck out of there! – Past mistakes should teach you to create a wonderful future; not cause you to be afraid of it. Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience. Success is not about where you are standing at any given point in time; it’s about how much you’ve learned and how far you’ve come to get there.

Focus on being productive, not being busy. – Don’t just get things done; get the right things done. Results are always more important than the time it takes to achieve them. Stop and ask yourself if what you’re working on is worth the effort. Is it bringing you in the same direction as your goals? Don’t get caught up in odd jobs, even those that seem urgent, unless they are also important. Identify what’s most important to you. Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else. No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets.

Be efficient. – Stop being inefficient simply because you’ve always done it that way. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought. Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks. Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical. Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it.

Let things be less than perfect. – Smile every chance you get; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have, and all the problems you know you don’t have. You must accept the fact that life is not perfect, that people are not perfect, and that you are not perfect. And that’s okay, because the real world doesn’t reward perfection. It rewards people who get GOOD things done. And the only way to get GOOD things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.

~~~

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

Confucius

~~~

“Boys and Girls Are Born Equal But Not the Same”

“Equal” is not always synonymous with “the same.” Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.

  1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
  2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she’ll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he’ll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you’re driving there.
  3. Boys’ rooms are usually messy. Girls’ rooms are usually messy, except it’s a good smelling mess.
  4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
  5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.
  6. Boys couldn’t care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.
  7. Baby girls find mommy’s makeup and almost instintively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy’s makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.
  8. If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.
  9. Boys grow their fingernails long because because they’re too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long – not because they look nice – but because they can dig them into a boys arm.
  10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.
  11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.
  12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.
  13. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the VCR after they’ve watched “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movie three times in a row.
  14. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

~~~

“My dad, he’s a nuclear physicist, my mom, she’s a mathematician, my brother is a chemical engineer–and I like to color.”

Shashi Bhatia

~~~

He said: My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising company offered to put my father’s business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my dad jumped at the chance.   Fully a year went by before we got a call that could be traced to those placards.

“Richard Larson, CPA?” the caller asked.

“That’s right,” my father answered. “May I help you?”

“Yes,” the voice said. “One of your shopping carts is in my yard, and I want you to come and get it.”

~~~

I went to a store to buy some insecticide. “Is this good for beetles?” I asked the clerk.

“No,” he replied. “It’ll kill ’em.”

~~~

“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

William James

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Don’t wait for a brick

Ray’s Daily

October 16, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

Audrey Hepburn

Helping-others

From time to time I find myself slipping into lethargy and finally rebel from just laying around. While I am not as mobile as I use to be there still are things I can do. Whenever I find myself in the doldrums I remember the advice given to me by a highly regarded Kentucky businessman when I retired in 1990 from the computer industry. He said “Don’t just stop to smell the roses, look around and see what you do for others”. The following story reminded me of his advice.

Stopped by a brick

A successful young executive was riding his brand new Jaguar  down a neighborhood street when he noticed a kid darting out from between parked cars. He slowed down a little but as he appeared near it, a brick smashed into his car’s door. He slammed on the brakes and drove back to the place where the brick has been thrown.

The furious man jumped out of his car and caught the nearest kid shouting, “What was that all about? What the heck did you do to my car? Why did you do it?”. The young boy was little scared, but was very polite and apologetic. “I am sorry Mister. I didn’t know what else to do,” he pleaded. “ I had to throw the brick because no one else would stop for my call to help”.  With tears rolling down his cheeks, he pointed towards the parked cars and said “it’s my brother, he rolled off the curb and fell off his wheelchair and he is badly hurt. I can’t lift him up.”

The sobbing boy asked the man, “Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He is hurt and he is too heavy for me.” The young man was moved beyond words and tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the other kid from the spot and put him back to the wheelchair. He also helped the little kid with his bruises and cuts.

When he thought that everything will be ok, he went back to his car. “Thank you, sir, and God bless you”, said the grateful kid. The young man was too shaken up for any word, so the man simply watched the little boy push the wheelchair bound brother down the sidewalk. It was a long and slow ride back home to the man.  When he came out of the car, he looked at his dented car door. The damage was very noticeable, but he did not bother to repair it. He kept the dent to remind him of the message; “Do not go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention”.

Moral: Life whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we do not listen to it, it throws a brick at us. It is our choice, listen to the whisper or wait for the brick.

~~~

Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘What’s in it for me?’

Brian Tracy

~~~

PETER MARSHALL’S LIST OF FAVORITE ANSWERS FROM “HOLLYWOOD SQUARES”.

  1. What are “dual’purpose cattle” good for that other cattle aren’t?
  2. Paul Lynde: “They give milk…and cookies, but I don’t recommend the cookies.”
  3. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
  4. Paul Lynde: “Who told you about my elephant?”
  5. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them
  6. Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What?
  7. Paul Lynde: “An engagement ring.”
  8. According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What?
  9. Charley Weaver: “Not drinking.”

~~~

There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit.

Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.

Indira Gandhi

~~~

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor, noticing that the previous bill hadn’t been paid, instructed the collections manager to contact the customer.

The collections manager made the call and left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call from the customer who said, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”

~~~

“We have a new recipe for an exotic gourmet dinner. First, take two credit cards…”

Bessie and Beulah

~~~

Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand in hand.  I wasn’t surprised when a friend of my daughter showed me a Japanese symbol on her hip.

“Please don’t tell my parents,” she begged.

“I won’t,” I promised.  “By the way, what does that stand for?”

She replied, “Honesty.”

~~~

“I think that’s how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, ‘Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough. Let’s go west.'”

Richard Jeni

~~~

She said: My 20th high school class reunion was held at a hotel on the same night that another school’s 10th-year reunion was taking place.

While my girl friends and I were in the rest room talking, some unfamiliar women entered. After their stares became uncomfortable, we turned toward them. One of the women said, “Don’t mind us. We just wanted to see how we’d look in another 10 years.”

~~~

Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.

Henrichs

~~~

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies, “Son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds. He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic.

He asks the girl, “Do you like potato pancakes?”

She says, “No.” And the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list.

He asks, “Do you have a brother?”

Again, the girl says, “No.” And there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl, “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”

~~~

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of person-kind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.”

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Another Day Older

Ray’s Daily

October 13, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

It is not a question of how old you are, but a question of how you are old.

Jules Renard

old-age-happy

Yesterday as various caregivers called me to see how I was doing I had to let some know I was committed to aging with as much grace as possible. Maybe grace is the wrong word rather living the days with relative ease and enjoyment. One of the secrets I have learned is not to take things too seriously. When you are no longer on the playing field you get a chance to enjoy some of the foolishness being exhibited by those who are.

So, my zest for life continues, just not after the sun goes down or by doing things that include any athletic prowess. I can still do amazing things in my dreams and when I do the crowd roars, the funny thing is that everyone in the crowd is me. So, life goes on and damn if it isn’t still interesting.

Here are some truths I picked up along the way that will help you to look forward to the years ahead.

What is getting older all about?

  • “Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age, and start bragging about it.”
  • “The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.”
  • “I wouldn’t want to brag at my age, but the earrings I wore in High School still fit today!”
  • “When you are discouraged about your age, and wish to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.”
  • “I don’t know how to act my age.” “I’ve never been this age before.”
  • smiling lady
  • “Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.”
  • “Stop counting the gray hairs.” “Start counting the wonderful memories.”

 

  • 30 is the new 20
  • 40 is the new 30
  • 50 is the new 40
  • 60 is the new 50
  • Hey, at this point I’ll be 90 when I’m 100!

“Plan ahead in your life. Don’t arrive to your deathbed all well preserved. Instead, slide in sideways with a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon in one hand and a bar of Godiva® Dark Chocolate in the other, all used up and screaming Woo Hoo!”

~~~

Aging can be fun if you lay back and enjoy it.

Clint Eastwood

~~~

I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.

~~~

I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you. If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?

~~~

Office rules

If you can’t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you’re going to do.

The more you put up with, the more you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back.

Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

~~~

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so?

There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

Drew Carey

~~~

A Rabbi waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front Of the service station.

Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant Pump. “Rabbi” said the young man, “sorry about the Delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”

The rabbi chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.”

~~~

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

Alexander Pope

~~~

A husband and wife were arguing about an investment the husband wanted to make. In the midst of the argument, he pointed out that men had better judgment than women.

“Well, I guess you’re right about that,” replied the wife. “You asked me to marry you and then I said yes!”

~~~

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.

Sophia Loren

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Appreciate the little things

Ray’s Daily

October 12, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

True greatness consists in being great in little things.

Charles Simmons

Enjoy-Life

I think I am returning to my new normal. In fact, I plan on venturing out to test my leg strength and balance after my two days of recuperation. I am so optimistic that I have even planned a breakfast with a friend in a few days.

My wife’s and my recent health challenges require us to make a realistic appraisal of the years ahead. I know that I never want to walk away from the important little things in life. I have found as the years go by the little things become the big things they probably always were, it is rewarding to now appreciate them more.

Here is a short piece that I picked up a while ago. The unfortunate truth is that not all of us have been as wise as this 24-year-old.

What’s Really Important In Life? The Little Things

AGE 18

I know I’m all grown up now. I want to leave, to run, and to live my own life. I want my parents to let me be, I know what I’m doing. I want my friends to be the most important things in my life. I want to live life fast, and relax later.

I want to live life by my own rules. I want to have everything now, no matter the consequences. I want to be left alone. I want to live in the here and now, and worry about the future later. 

AGE 24

I know I have a lot of growing up to do. I want to listen to advice from others. I want to stop in the middle of Mother Nature, and take in the beauty of it all. I want fulfill the promises I made to those loved ones who have passed. I want to make my family the most important part of my life, for they have always been there. I want to live life, so that when I die, people rejoice, for mine was a life lived.

I want my loved ones to know how sorry I am for the way I was. I want to slow down, and enjoy every second, because so many do not. I want to see those loved ones at the beginning of life, grow, and make their way. I want to remember my past, but live in the present and for the future. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to be here, stand back, and enjoy the ‘The Little Things’ in life.

The true measure of success, is measured by lives you touch, and those who touch yours.

Matthew Dittrich

~~~

Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort.

Humphry Davy

~~~

Our 13 year old niece spent last night with us.  When we dropped her off at home, my sister-in-law asked how she behaved.  “She was an angel,” I informed her.

“Really?” she questioned.

“Yes, really.  A perfect angel.”  I assured her.

“I just don’t understand.  Whenever she is with you she is well behaved.  Whenever she is at home, she is a monster.  She misbehaves for everyone else.  In fact, the teachers at her school drew straws to see who would be stuck with her in their class.  How come she always behaves for you?” my sister in law asked.

“I don’t know.  I guess I just have a way with children.  I also try to educate them as well.  A child is never too young to learn.”  I answered.

“What do you mean.  What did you teach her?” she inquired.

“Well, for instance, children need to learn about death and dying so they better understand this process.  I explained this concept very carefully to her.”  I informed my sister-in-law.

“Really?  You explained this to her at 13?” she asked dumbfounded.

“Well, actually she was much younger when I explained this.  She now understands death perfectly.  Which is good, because it makes threatening her with it, much more effective.”

~~~

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.”

Phyllis Diller

~~~

Murphy’s Law for Frequent Flyers

  1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.
  2. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.
  3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
  4. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
  5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
  6. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
  7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.
  8. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
  9. The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
  10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.

~~~

It’s the things in common that make relationships enjoyable,

but it’s the little differences that make them interesting.

Todd Ruthman

~~~

A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when the guide shows him an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details.

To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist then queries how old the temple is.

“This temple is 1,503 years old,” replies the guide.

Impressed at this accurate dating, he inquires as to how he gave this precise figure.

“Easy”, replies the guide, “the archaeologists said the temple was 1,500 years old, and that was three years ago.”

~~~

To be really great in little things, to be truly noble and heroic in the insipid details of everyday life, is a virtue so rare as to be worthy of canonization.

Harriet Beecher Stowe

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Sorry about that

Ray’s Daily

October 11, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.

Kenneth Branagh

Enjoy-Life

Sorry about no Daily yesterday. I had an early morning dizzy spell and spent the day at the hospital getting tested to see if the could determine the cause. They found nothing specific and I am to rest today and report my status. So no YMCA this morning but ever onward.

I know I have shared with you that I believe happiness is really a choice. There are folks who enjoy their lives primarily because they have decided to enjoy each day as much as they can.

Some time ago I ran across an article entitled Being Happy Is A Decision: 11 Ways to Change Your Life NOW! Written by Larry Crane. He suggests ways we can find more happiness. Here in part is what he said.

Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really; choose to be happy. There are several ways by which you can do this:

Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Whatever you can find to be grateful for, find it.

Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -‘Laughter is the best medicine’.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion in healthy ways to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Let go of pent up anger and frustrations, as this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working smart instead of hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives us a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us; they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time. And don’t forget to celebrate them once they are completed!

Learning is a joyful experience. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Physical exercise. Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Positive Attracts Positive. Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

LET GO, LET GO, LET GO! Letting go of the layers and layers of negative emotions, feelings, and habits is the number one critical key to being happy all the time.

~~~

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.

Horace

~~~

A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, the nurse said it had. I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give this information over the phone.

“Fine,” I said. “I can understand that. But can you tell me what she didn’t have?”

“It wasn’t a boy,” came the reply.

~~~

“Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.”

Arthur Schopenhauer

~~~

Two old cronies met in the street after not seeing each other for more than twenty years because the Diamonds had moved from the lower East Side. They shook hands warmly and began to inquire about each other’s families. Diamond said, “Jacobson, I’m very proud to tell you both my boys are a great success. Dick is a doctor with a beautiful office, does very well and lives on Sutton Place. My Marion is a lawyer, a regular Clarence Darrow, and makes $150,000 a year after taxes. All my friends should do so well! And how about your son? What is he doing?” Jacobson answered, “My boy, Norman, is a rabbi.” “A rabbi? What kind of work is that for a Jewish boy!”

~~~

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.

Yiddish Proverb

~~~

A wealthy, local businessman, noted for his frugal financial habits choked on a fish bone at our seafood restaurant on Fisherman’s Pier. He was fortunate that one of the town’s doctors was enjoying a quick lunch with a voluptuous nurse at a nearby table. Springing unsolicited into action at the first sound of trouble, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved the guy’s life. When the businessman had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services.

“Just name the fee,” he croaked gratefully.

“Okay,” the doc smiled, and continued, “How about half of what you would have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?

~~~

Wear sleeveless shirts! Support your right to bare arms!

~~~

“Great TIPS”

  • Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
  • High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
  • Olympic athletes. Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing drugs by simply running a little slower and letting someone else win.
  • X File fans. Create the effect of being abducted be aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You’ll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously ‘erased’.
  • Tape a chocolate bar to the outside of your microwave. If the chocolate melts you will know that the microwaves are escaping and it is time to have the oven serviced.
  • A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

~~~

Live, love, laugh and lighten your burdens. There’s no better way to enjoy life….

Hermann J Steinher

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Don’t Stagnate

Ray’s Daily

October 9, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.

Dalai Lama

innovation_stagnation

I am not finding that easy to adjust to a more realistic life. I find that my aged body is not as resilient as I would like it to be limiting my mobility somewhat. That coupled with my periodic health issues and my duties as my wife’s caregiver has really cut into my activities.

I know we have talked about the need to adjust before, I just thought it would be easier than it is. As an example, I enjoy visiting with long time Kiwanis friends at their weekly meetings, but lately when I do so I feel guilty since I am not participating in any of their service activity resulting in a high level of discomfort on my part.

I know hunkering down at home all the time is not going to work so I continue to search for alternatives. Recently Dani DiPirro published an article where she discussed her effort to find new things to do. I thought it was helpful so I wanted to share some of it with you.

It’s hard to try new things, especially if that’s not your inherent nature. I totally understand the discomfort that comes with trying something unfamiliar, of being vulnerable in a different environment or experience, but I highly recommend pondering these questions:

What things have I always wanted to try but haven’t?

What’s on that list that I could actually do this week?

Trying new things increases self-awareness, stimulates creativity, helps overcome fear, increases confidence, provides wisdom, and allows you to see the world from a different perspective, but I know how hard it can be for some people (like me!) to do new things. This week, try to do something you’ve always wanted to, and see how it makes you feel! Here are some ideas for things you could do this week…

  • Eat at a restaurant you’ve never tried before
  • Drive down a road you’ve always been curious about
  • Learn about the trees and plants around your home
  • Apply to volunteer at a local organization or charity
  • Start a handwritten (gratitude?) journal
  • Learn to cook a meal you really enjoy eating
  • Tell someone about how you really, truly feel
  • Send flowers to someone you love just because
  • Adopt a dog or cat (or any other kind of creature)
  • Create something you’ve never made before

These are just a few ideas that came to my mind, but hopefully they’ll remind you of something you’ve been wanting to try but never have. It’s never too late to try something new.

~~~

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.

Jim Rohn

~~~

The Father, passing through the son’s college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window.

“Whattya want?”

“Does Jimmy Duncan live here?” asked the father.

“Yeah!” replied the voice. “Dump him on the front porch and we’ll take care of him in the morning.”

~~~

Here’s a new invention — a solar-powered clothes dryer. It’s called a clothes line.

~~~

David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning.

At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?”

“Not too late, Dad.” she replied nervously.

Dead-panned, her father said, “Then, my precious one, I’ll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car.”

~~~

“Conflict cannot survive without your participation.”

Wayne Dyer

~~~

When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” -Allan, ten years old

“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you….If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” -Kally, nine years old

The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married?

“You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan” -Kirsten, ten years old

“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them” -Anita, nine years old

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” -Will, seven years old

~~~

Jim:  So your blind date had measurements of 39-23-35?

Jeff:  That’s right.  It’s just too bad they weren’t in that order.

~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her students to draw a picture of their favorite Old Testament bible story.  As she moved around the class, she saw many wonderful drawings being created.

Then she came to Little Pauly, who had drawn a bearded old man driving an old car.  In the back seat were two passengers, both naked.  The teacher said, “It’s an interesting picture, Pauly, but which Bible story does it tell?”

Little Pauly seemed surprised at the question and said, “Well, it says in the bible that God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury. And THAT is a ’59 Plymouth Fury just like grampa’s! ”

~~~

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

Earl Nightingale

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Words Matter

Ray’s Daily

October 6, 2017

positive_words

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

My wife’s recovery has had a minor setback, she has an infection that has taken her down. The hospital yesterday put her on medications that will restore her and put her back on the recovery path. She is home cheering me on, I just wish I could do more for her.

I am running behind today do we will again dip into the archives.

Ray’s Daily first published on October 6, 2006

The other day I mentioned speech and its dilution through the filters of today’s various communications mediums. Even with all the changes in how we communicate words still have the capacity to trigger images and emotions. Here are words that I wish we used more often.

Esteem: to value somebody or something highly

Consideration: thoughtful concern for or sensitivity toward the feelings of others

Thoughtfulness: treating people in a kind and considerate way, especially by anticipating their wants or needs an act that shows consideration and caring the practice of being or the capability to be sympathetic and compassionate.

Compassion: sympathy for the suffering of others, often including a desire to help

Humanity: the qualities or characteristics considered as a whole to be typical of human beings kindness or compassion for others.

Empathy: the ability to identify with and understand another person’s feelings or difficulties

Respect: a feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward somebody or something consideration or thoughtfulness.

Humility: the quality of being modest or respectful.

Civility: the formal politeness that results from observing social conventions something said or done in a formally polite way.

Courtesy: politeness that shows consideration for other people or good manners.

Gracious: full of tact, kindness, and politeness.

Cordial: friendly and affectionate.

Just think what the world would be like if we could turn these words into universal behaviors.

~~~

“Words are the voice of the heart”

Confucius

~~~

A psychology student was to help a professor in conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started through the test.

“How does this glass of water look to you?” Person 1: It is half empty Student writes ‘pessimist’ in his report.

Person 2 enters the room. “How does this glass of water look to you?” Person 2: It is half full. Student writes ‘optimist’ in his report

Person 3 enters the room. “How does this glass of water look to you?” Person 3: Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need there. The student looks totally blank and goes to consult with the professor. “Oh them!” the professor says, “I forgot to warn you about the engineers! They have no personality.”

~~~

Some things that cost $5 to buy several years ago now costs $10 just to repair.

~~~

He said: I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek. An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come. “Men,” our sergeant yelled, “you’re doing a fine job. We’ve already covered four miles!”

Revitalized, we picked up the pace. “And,” he continued, “we should reach the starting point any minute now.”

~~~

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Robert Frost

~~~

Back in my day!

Back in the 1970s we didn’t have the space shuttle to get all excited about.  We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.

In my day, we didn’t have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

In my day, we didn’t have water.  We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.

In my day, we didn’t have virtual computer reality. If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.

~~~

Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?

“They were at a dance party at a friend’s house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down…It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values.” -Lottie, nine years old

“My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won’t tell me what kind.” -Jeremy, eight years old

What Do Most People Do on a Date?

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” -Martin, ten years old

“Many daters just eat pork chops and French fries and talk about love.” -Craig, nine years old

~~~

A married couple were having a disagreement while sitting in bed. The wife said to her husband, “You’re impossible.” To which the husband replied, “No. I’m next to impossible.”

~~~

Morris Epstein was taking an oral examination, applying for his US citizenship papers.

He was asked to spell “cultivate”. He spelled it correctly. He was then asked to use the word in a sentence. He looked up, smiled up and said, “Last vinter on a very cold day I vas vaiting for a bus. But it vas too cultivate, so I took de subway home.”

~~~

Every teen-ager should get a high school education — even if they already know everything.

~~~

Tech Support: “What does the screen say now”?

Person: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready.'”

Tech Support: “Well”?

Person: “How do I know when it’s ready”?

~~~

Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

Saint Francis

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Don’tWait

Ray’s Daily

October 5, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

Omar Khayyam

happy Man

I have really liked the therapists who have been coming to my house in order to help my wife regain her capabilities. The one thing these good folks have in common has been a positive attitude and optimistic demeanor.

I am always glad to meet friends and others that invariably greet me with a smile and a welcoming remark. The contrast between them and the chronic complainers is striking. If you are like I am there are people who always leave you feeling good and others who you are glad when they leave. I feel sorry for those who only focus on gloom for there is little chance that they will see the good things that we already have.

Happiness is truly in the eye of the beholder and those who are looking for something that does not exist will always be blinded to what is good about what does exist. We must not run so fast in search of happiness that we never stop to see it always there waiting for us.

So my friends don’t wait until you are eighty like the man in this story, enjoy your life now.

An old man lived in the village…

An old man lived in the village. He was one of the most unfortunate people in the world. The whole village was tired of him, he was always gloomy, constantly complained and always was in a bad mood. The longer he lived, the more bile was becoming and the more poisonous were his words. People avoided him, because his misfortune became contagious. It was even unnaturally and insulting to be happy next to him. He created the feeling of unhappiness in others.

But one day, when he got eighty years old, an incredible thing happened. Instantly everyone heard the rumour: “An Old Man is happy today, he doesn’t complain about anything, smiles, and even his face is freshened up”. The whole village gathered together. An old man was asked:

– What happened to you?

– Nothing special – he answered. – Eighty years I’ve been chasing happiness, and it was useless. And then I decided to live without happiness and just enjoy life. That’s why I’m happy now.

~~~

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

Norman Cousins

~~~

There’s a man named Ralph that goes into a bar, looking very depressed. A friend approaches him and asks, “Why the long face, Ralph?”

“Oh, I’m just bored. I know every person in the entire world now, and there’s just nothing left to challenge me.”

His friend says, “No, you can’t know everyone. Do you know Paul McCartney?”

He says, “Sure, Paul’s an old friend of mine. Here, I’ll show you.” He goes over to a phone, dials a number. His friend overhears a British accent, “Hey Ralph, how ya doing?”

He talks for a while, but when Ralph hangs up, his friend is not really sure that it was Paul McCartney on the other end of the line, so he asks him if he knows the president. Ralph says, “Sure, we go way back.” This time he lets him listen in as he calls a private number. It sounds like the president on the other end of the line, and they go into a big discussion of the current economic scene, and Ralph offers a few suggestions. Drawing the conversation to a close, Ralph wishes him well and hangs up.

His friend is a little dumbfounded at this point. “Well, there must be someone that you don’t know.” He goes over a few more people in his mind, and thinks, ‘He can’t possibly know the Pope. After all, he’s a Protestant.’

But Ralph claims to know him, so to convince himself otherwise, his friend decides to fly both himself and Ralph to the Vatican to get positive proof of Ralph’s conviction.

So they arrive at the Vatican, and Ralph suggests that his friend wait out in the Papal square until Ralph has cleared things with the Pope. He’s standing in the courtyard, when who walks out onto the balcony of the private residence, arm in arm with the Pope, but Ralph.

Ralph looks down, sees that his friend has apparently passed out, and runs down to see what can be done for him. “What happened to you? Couldn’t you accept the fact that I really do know the Pope?”

“No, I’d begun to accept that possibility. But what really took my breath away was some stranger standing next to me who said, ‘Who’s that guy standing there with Ralph?'”

~~~

You are a fortunate person, indeed, if you can begin each day accepting the fact that during that day there will be ups and downs, good breaks and bad ones, disappointments, surprises, unexpected turns of events.

Roy Benjamin

~~~

An 80 year old man goes in to see the doctor.

Doctor says, “What is the problem?”

Old man says, “Well, it’s my wife. Our sex life has gone down hill drastically.”

The doctor replies, “How long have you been married?”

Old man, “50 years next month.”

Doctor, “When did you first start noticing this?”

Old man, “Well, first last night, and then again this morning.”

~~~

He who laughs, lasts.

Mary Poole

~~~

My 60-something friend Mary and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular “Ask Jeeves” site, and we told her it could answer any question she had.  Nancy’s mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, “It’s true, Mom. Think of something to ask it.”

As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy’s mother thought a minute, and then responded, “How is Aunt Helen feeling?”

~~~

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

~~~

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in ‘Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?”

A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, “I don’t know why don’t you play your age?”

He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, “What happened? Is she all right?”

The operator replies, “I don’t know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!”

~~~

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.

Kenneth Branagh

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Resist Unhappiness

Ray’s Daily

October 4, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”

Aristotle

happiness_responsible

It is no wonder that so many folks are down in the dumps these days with all the natural disasters and the mass murder in Los Vegas on top of their own personal burdens. I know my wife and I have not found much happiness in her health struggles. But I also know that to stay happy we need to resist the temptation to give into sadness.

I think happiness is enhanced by how we live our lives. I never want to give into despair when there is always something better. Recently I found an article written by Gary Savoie where he shared his thoughts on how we can be happy. Here in part is what he wrote:

Here are five things that you can give up if you want to be happy:

 Complaining

Complaining can be an easy way to blow off steam; however, too much of it can be damaging to yourself and those around you. Complaining is one of those behaviors that feeds itself. By constantly talking about how bad things are, you reaffirm your negative beliefs.

While expressing your concerns once in awhile can be viewed as a healthy and therapeutic outlet, a constant display of your frustrations will only fuel your unhappiness and drive others away.

Limiting beliefs

We often assume that happy people never have limiting beliefs – that they’re always happy – and never struggle with their decisions or confidence. The truth is no matter how happy you’re, there will still be moments where you experience thoughts of uncertainty. The difference is that those that experience happiness often handle their limiting beliefs better than others. Bring awareness to your limited beliefs, embrace them, and use them as an opportunity to grow.

Dwelling on the Past

When you think about past events, chances are they’re not healthy or positive. Negative thoughts are the quickest way to kill your happiness. Dwelling on the past will keep you focusing on the “what ifs” and “how comes.”

Blaming Others

Unhappy people find no shame in blaming others when something goes wrong. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they point the finger in the opposite direction. They find it difficult to believe that the situation they are in is due to their own choices.

It’s okay to be wrong. In fact, most people find it admiral when you choose to “fall on your sword.” Being able to accept responsibility for your actions is a clear indication that you’re comfortable with however the outcome turns out, which can also be interpreted as a sign of happiness.

Resistance to Change

One of Ben Franklin’s most famous quotes is “Nothing is certain except death and taxes.” Although true, there is one more certainty in life: that’s change. Change is inevitable and being willing to adapt to change is a critical factor in determining your happiness.

People who resist change focus on the problem, not the solution. Instead of embracing change they revolt, which only fuels more negativity – making the situation worse – and making themselves even more unhappy. Life is all about change. The sooner you learn to embrace it, the happier you’ll be.

~~~

“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.”

L.M. Montgomery

~~~

On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage.

The husband said, “I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no “I” in the word ‘marriage.'”‘

The wife said, “For my part, I have never corrected my husband’s spelling.”

~~~

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.

~~~

My boss’ wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable car and called for a ride every time it broke down. One day Sherry got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this time?” she asked.

“My brakes went out,” her sister said.

“Can you come to get me?”

“Where are you?” Sherry asked. “I’m in the drugstore,” her sister responded. “And where’s the car?”

“It’s in here with me.”

~~~

Always listen to the experts. They’ll tell you what can’t be done and why. Then do it.

Robert Heinlein

~~~

She said: Everybody’s a comedian. I called my local home improvement store for a simple piece of advice. “I know the Sheetrock is nailed to the studs,” I said to the guy who answered the phone, “but how do I find the studs?”

“Put an ad in the personals column.” he suggested.

~~~

The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person?

Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?

Eugene Kennedy

~~~

A primer for any couple should be the book MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. It explains that men and women are from different planets. For example: women like to verbalize their feelings on relationships. It’s difficult for a man to even admit he’s in a relationship.

~~~

Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

Stacey Charter

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Please Forgive Me

Ray’s Daily

October 3, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Life is an adventure in forgiveness.

Norman Cousins

forgive

I am starting to learn, as you probably already knew, that I am not as capable as I once was or think I was. Sometimes I mishear something someone says. I may even take a wrong turn and often say the wrong thing, I have also learned that agonizing over yesterday’s mistakes or fearing tomorrows efforts only wastes the time that would be better spent trying to do something constructive.

So my friends I would appreciate your forgiving me my blunders as it is never my intention to stumble, I will do the best I can and hope that you will overlook my missteps.

Here is a story I probably shared with you before but it is worth reading again. The nice thing about a failing memory is that everything is new again.

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry. Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.

All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed.

We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

 The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.

With its possible adversities, Its burdens,

Its large promise and poor performance.

Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow’s Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.

Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

 This just leaves only one day . . . Today.

Any person can fight the battles of just one day.

It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity’s – yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.

It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

Author Unknown

~~~

When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.

Bernard Meltzer

~~~

RESUME TIPS

Below are the typical areas of a resume and my priceless secrets for dealing with them. These tips will help crush the competition, get you in the door and put you behind a desk making 50 big ones, plus bonus.

THE NAME: Use the name to your advantage. Spice it up a little bit. Steve Smith goes nowhere fast. But Sir Stephen Smith – now that might turn a few heads.

THE ADDRESS: Forget your real address. Make a statement instead! Saying you’re from the Bronx suggests you’re tough as nails. Anyplace in Japan implies you believe in an 18-hour-a-day work ethic!

THE PHONE NUMBER: Skip it. What are the odds they’ll call — 1,000 to 1. If they do, they’ll probably just catch your roommate somewhere in the middle of his second six-pack.

EXPERIENCE: Even fresh out of school, you’ve got to have experience. But don’t mention that you’ve invested in your own relational database or coded an object-oriented commodity trading system. Everybody’s done that stuff. I’m talking about hands-on experience: high-level management, microchip design, hostile takeovers, etc. So if you’re a little light in the experience area, don’t tell lies. Instead, simply try a bit-more-concise explanation of the experience you do have. For example, if you worked as a cashier at Food Giant, make it, “Monitored and troubleshot retail point-of-sale bar-code inventory scanning system.”

~~~

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Jackie Mason

~~~

A mother was convinced that her wayward son would become a Christian. She pleaded with him to come to the faith. She sent him little cards with Bible verses on, tapes with sermons, spiritual books, but all to no avail. One day she fell to her knees and prayed fervently to God that he would totally remove the obstacle to her son’s conversion.

There was a blinding flash . . . {POOOOF!} . . . and she vanished.

~~~

Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me …

  1. It’s more fun to color outside the lines.
  2. If you’re going draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.
  3. Ask why until you understand.
  4. Hang on tight.
  5. Even if you’ve been fishing for 3 hours and haven’t gotten anything except poison ivy and a sunburn, you’re still better off than the worm.
  6. Make up the rules as you go along.
  7. It doesn’t matter who started it.
  8. Ask for sprinkles.
  9. If the horse you’re drawing looks more like a dog, make it a dog.
  10. Save a place in line for your friends.
  11. Sometimes you have to take the test before you’ve finished studying.
  12. If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.

~~~

~~~

“I was high on life, but eventually I built up a tolerance.”

Arj Barker

~~~

An elderly lady on a cruise ship wanders up to the bar and asks for a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it’s today.”

The bartender says “Well, since it’s your birthday, this one is on me.”

As the woman finishes her drink, the lady to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink too.”

The elderly matron says, “Why, thank you. Bartender, I would like a scotch with two drops of water.”

“Coming up,” says the bartender.

As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one as well.”

The lady says, “Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water.”

“Comin’ right up.” As he puts the drink down in front of her, he says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”

The 80 year-old replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue.”

~~~

Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.

Les Brown

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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