Ray's musings and humor

I am glad we are friends

Ray’s Daily

October 27, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

I’m just thankful I’m surrounded by good people.

Jon Pardi

Good people.

I have seen and met a wide variety of people in my life time. Some of them were even famous. But I have found that the people who have meant the most, as I look back, are the people who offered their friendship. Others that stand out are folks who not only care but who give of themselves in the service of others.

Maybe the main attribute that the people I regard have is kindness. They do not burden others with complaints and criticisms, rather they spread enthusiasm and a positive outlook. If you are like I am you too have met and spent time with lots of others. I suspect that you too choose to spend time with folks who inspire instead of with those who are constant fault finders.

Here is something that has been around for a while, it is worth revisiting now and then to help remind us of who the important people really are.

Life Quiz

You don’t actually have to take the quiz. Just read this straight through and you’ll get the point…

Here’s the first quiz:

  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
  2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
  4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
  5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
  6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The facts are, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

  1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
  2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
  5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
  6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

~~~

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou

~~~

Old Man Dean, a miser and reprobate of some renown in the community, at last suffered a health crisis and was rushed to hospital late one evening.  He lay unconscious through the night, but rallied at dawn and, by and by, was well enough to receive visitors.

A local parson, hearing of Dean’s misfortune and recalling that at one time he had been a member of his congregation, determined to make a call.  After brief pleasantries were exchanged, the preacher began an earnest appeal for the old boy to mend his ways and return to the flock.

He explained how the patient should be thankful that he was spared, and at some length inquired if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes during the incident.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” replied Dean, “the attack lasted only 6 hours!”

~~~

“A truly perfect marriage would be one between a blind woman and a deaf man.”

George Burns

~~~

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:

Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”

Bartender: “What is a B and C?”.

Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”

Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”

Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”

Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”

Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”

Bartender: “What’s a 15?”

Blonde: “7 and 7”

~~~

What is worse than being a bachelor?

Being a Bachelor’s son

~~~

A husband and wife were playing in a mixed pairs tournament at their club.

The first hole was a par four. The husband teed off, hitting a beautiful tee shot smack down the middle of the fairway. They got to the ball and the wife took out her 3-wood and proceeded to hit the ball 20 yards into a nearby fairway bunker.

Her husband took out his 5-iron, stepped in and hit a perfect shot out of the bunker and just short of the green.

His wife then took her putter and blasted the ball through the green and into a bunker behind the green. Her husband, biting his lip, said nothing.

He took out his sand wedge and played a glorious shot out of the bunker, running the ball across the green and right into the cup.

“I can’t believe we started with a bogey,” he said to her as they walked to the next hole.

“Hey,” she said, “Don’t gripe to me. Only two of those shots were mine!”

~~~

Our forefathers guaranteed us the right to the pursuit of happiness.

They should have given us a few clues as to where to look.

~~~

Welcome at Church?

Three couples–one elderly, one middle-aged and one newlywed–wanted to join a church. The priest said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples all agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, “Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The old man replied, “No problem at all, Father.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the priest.

The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The middle-aged man replied, “The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights, but, yep, we made it.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church,” said the priest.

The priest then went to the newlywed couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

“No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man replied sadly.

“What happened?” inquired the priest. “My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it,” said the young man. “When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,” stated the priest.

“We know,” said the young man. “We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either.”

~~~

It’s a lot easier to do good work when you have good words to say and work with good people.

Mark Harmon

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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