October 13, 2017
It is not a question of how old you are, but a question of how you are old.
Yesterday as various caregivers called me to see how I was doing I had to let some know I was committed to aging with as much grace as possible. Maybe grace is the wrong word rather living the days with relative ease and enjoyment. One of the secrets I have learned is not to take things too seriously. When you are no longer on the playing field you get a chance to enjoy some of the foolishness being exhibited by those who are.
So, my zest for life continues, just not after the sun goes down or by doing things that include any athletic prowess. I can still do amazing things in my dreams and when I do the crowd roars, the funny thing is that everyone in the crowd is me. So, life goes on and damn if it isn’t still interesting.
Here are some truths I picked up along the way that will help you to look forward to the years ahead.
What is getting older all about?
- “Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age, and start bragging about it.”
- “The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.”
- “I wouldn’t want to brag at my age, but the earrings I wore in High School still fit today!”
- “When you are discouraged about your age, and wish to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.”
- “I don’t know how to act my age.” “I’ve never been this age before.”
- smiling lady
- “Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.”
- “Stop counting the gray hairs.” “Start counting the wonderful memories.”
- 30 is the new 20
- 40 is the new 30
- 50 is the new 40
- 60 is the new 50
- Hey, at this point I’ll be 90 when I’m 100!
“Plan ahead in your life. Don’t arrive to your deathbed all well preserved. Instead, slide in sideways with a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon in one hand and a bar of Godiva® Dark Chocolate in the other, all used up and screaming Woo Hoo!”
Aging can be fun if you lay back and enjoy it.
I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.
I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you. If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?
If you can’t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you’re going to do.
The more you put up with, the more you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back.
Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.
If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Following the rules will not get the job done. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so?
There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
A Rabbi waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front Of the service station.
Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant Pump. “Rabbi” said the young man, “sorry about the Delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”
The rabbi chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.”
A man should never be ashamed to own he has been wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
A husband and wife were arguing about an investment the husband wanted to make. In the midst of the argument, he pointed out that men had better judgment than women.
“Well, I guess you’re right about that,” replied the wife. “You asked me to marry you and then I said yes!”
There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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