Ray's musings and humor

Please Forgive Me

Ray’s Daily

October 3, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Life is an adventure in forgiveness.

Norman Cousins

forgive

I am starting to learn, as you probably already knew, that I am not as capable as I once was or think I was. Sometimes I mishear something someone says. I may even take a wrong turn and often say the wrong thing, I have also learned that agonizing over yesterday’s mistakes or fearing tomorrows efforts only wastes the time that would be better spent trying to do something constructive.

So my friends I would appreciate your forgiving me my blunders as it is never my intention to stumble, I will do the best I can and hope that you will overlook my missteps.

Here is a story I probably shared with you before but it is worth reading again. The nice thing about a failing memory is that everything is new again.

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry. Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.

All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed.

We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

 The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.

With its possible adversities, Its burdens,

Its large promise and poor performance.

Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow’s Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.

Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

 This just leaves only one day . . . Today.

Any person can fight the battles of just one day.

It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity’s – yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.

It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

Author Unknown

~~~

When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.

Bernard Meltzer

~~~

RESUME TIPS

Below are the typical areas of a resume and my priceless secrets for dealing with them. These tips will help crush the competition, get you in the door and put you behind a desk making 50 big ones, plus bonus.

THE NAME: Use the name to your advantage. Spice it up a little bit. Steve Smith goes nowhere fast. But Sir Stephen Smith – now that might turn a few heads.

THE ADDRESS: Forget your real address. Make a statement instead! Saying you’re from the Bronx suggests you’re tough as nails. Anyplace in Japan implies you believe in an 18-hour-a-day work ethic!

THE PHONE NUMBER: Skip it. What are the odds they’ll call — 1,000 to 1. If they do, they’ll probably just catch your roommate somewhere in the middle of his second six-pack.

EXPERIENCE: Even fresh out of school, you’ve got to have experience. But don’t mention that you’ve invested in your own relational database or coded an object-oriented commodity trading system. Everybody’s done that stuff. I’m talking about hands-on experience: high-level management, microchip design, hostile takeovers, etc. So if you’re a little light in the experience area, don’t tell lies. Instead, simply try a bit-more-concise explanation of the experience you do have. For example, if you worked as a cashier at Food Giant, make it, “Monitored and troubleshot retail point-of-sale bar-code inventory scanning system.”

~~~

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Jackie Mason

~~~

A mother was convinced that her wayward son would become a Christian. She pleaded with him to come to the faith. She sent him little cards with Bible verses on, tapes with sermons, spiritual books, but all to no avail. One day she fell to her knees and prayed fervently to God that he would totally remove the obstacle to her son’s conversion.

There was a blinding flash . . . {POOOOF!} . . . and she vanished.

~~~

Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me …

  1. It’s more fun to color outside the lines.
  2. If you’re going draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.
  3. Ask why until you understand.
  4. Hang on tight.
  5. Even if you’ve been fishing for 3 hours and haven’t gotten anything except poison ivy and a sunburn, you’re still better off than the worm.
  6. Make up the rules as you go along.
  7. It doesn’t matter who started it.
  8. Ask for sprinkles.
  9. If the horse you’re drawing looks more like a dog, make it a dog.
  10. Save a place in line for your friends.
  11. Sometimes you have to take the test before you’ve finished studying.
  12. If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.

~~~

~~~

“I was high on life, but eventually I built up a tolerance.”

Arj Barker

~~~

An elderly lady on a cruise ship wanders up to the bar and asks for a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it’s today.”

The bartender says “Well, since it’s your birthday, this one is on me.”

As the woman finishes her drink, the lady to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink too.”

The elderly matron says, “Why, thank you. Bartender, I would like a scotch with two drops of water.”

“Coming up,” says the bartender.

As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one as well.”

The lady says, “Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water.”

“Comin’ right up.” As he puts the drink down in front of her, he says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”

The 80 year-old replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue.”

~~~

Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.

Les Brown

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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