Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2017

The Best Medicine

Ray’s Daily

September 15, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.

Winston Churchill

Wake up

As my wife works her way back from illness I truly believe the speed of recovery will be directly proportional to her attitude towards the ordeal. Too many of us let illness take us down making it difficult to work our way back up. The secret is to not give in to remorse and regret while feeling sorry for ourselves. We cannot change history but we can move ahead successfully if we move forward with a positive attitude. The game ends when we give up so stay optimistic about what tomorrow will hold and keep going.

 

Attitude

Rev. Charles Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, then circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say, or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

~~~

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.

Wade Boggs

~~~

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog For Sale.” He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks. “Yep,” the Lab replies. “So, what’s your story?” The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.” “But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work,

mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.” The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars.” The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?” “Because he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that.”

~~~

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”

Lewis Grizzard

~~~

She said: My fifteen-year-old daughter Tammy was delighted when she got her first job as a hostess at a restaurant that has been owned and operated by the same family for years. At first everything went smoothly, but after a busy Sunday, my daughter returned home exhausted and frustrated. Apparently the owners kept looking over her shoulder, directing every move, and Tammy said she came very close to quitting.

After listening to her tirade of complaints, I responded, “So you don’t like working there anymore?”

“Oh,” my teenager replied, “I like working there just fine. I just don’t like them working there.”

~~~

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.”

Dale Carnegie

~~~

The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water.

After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief.

The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: ‘You know , I have a special gift, I can read minds.’

‘Impossible’, said the embarrassed man, ‘You really know what I think?’

‘Yes’, the lady replied, ‘Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you’re holding has a bottom.’

~~~

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

Henry Van Dyke

~~~

OUR KIDS

BY MOM & DAD

* Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

* Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

* Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

* Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

* I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

* Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.

* Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.

* The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

* Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.

* You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.

* A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.

* Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried it.

~~~

A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.

Tom Stoppard

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Albert got it right

Ray’s Daily

September 14, 2017

http://www.rays-daily.com

“Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity;

From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

 Albert Einstein

keep-it-simple

Sorry about no Daily yesterday. I was busy bringing my wife home after her almost two month medical absence. She is on the mend but has a way to go. I am again sending you a past Daily, I hope that’s OK.

 Ray’s Daily first published on September 14, 2006

The speaker at my Kiwanis Club meeting this morning was an expert on organizing ones self. She described how some of us are stackers, some are stuffers, and some are cluterers. Over my life time I have been all of these and am even in retirement. I stack stuff all over the place, books, magazines, CD’s, videos, recipes, you name it and I stack it. That is I stack it up until the night before our cleaning lady is coming, it is then that I become a stuffer. Stacks disappear, they are stuffed into drawers, cabinets, and every other nook and cranny where they stay until the house has been returned to pristine condition. Of course it does not stay that way long, as soon as I need to find something, the stuffed stacks become clutter, much of what then becomes stacks, and the cycle begins all over again.

Of course this smart lady has a better way. She gets everything together and filters, prioritizes, takes action, and then follows up where necessary. One of her tips was to understand that we can get really productive if we set aside a couple of uninterruptible hours in the day to work the system including the dumping of the unimportant things we keep. I know she is right, as often most of the things in my stacks will age until useless or are of such low importance that they will never again see the light of day. Bottom line is that the only person I am fooling by stacking everything is me, of course my wife also shares my frustration in a different way, she just want’s to know when the I am going to get rid of the stacks and clutter.

But all is not lost, I had an eureka moment this morning! I decided that I can interrupt the process of stacking and then stuffing by adding an interim filter process. I came home and began moving stuffed stuff to clutter, but with filtration, and low and behold I was able to get rid of more than half the clutter. My next step is to make the prioritization process a priority, and I will as soon as I get to it.

~~~

“Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!”

Og Mandino

~~~

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace

-Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

-Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.

-Send e-mails to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you’re doing. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”

-Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven’t lost them as much since you did this.

-Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document.

-Send e-mails back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

-Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

-Put your trash can on your desk. Label it “IN.”

-Send e-mail messages saying there’s free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.”

~~~

Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

I was reminded today just how awful my wife’s cooking was when we were first married. Yes, it’s cliché but it’s true. It was so bad that I teased her relentlessly. Recently, after an exceptionally exquisite meal, I put my fork down and asked her to what she attributed her acquired culinary mastery.

She smiled a warm smile and looked at me as if I were an angel of light delivering divine revelation.

“Well,” she said as her voice took on an ethereal grace, “I believe it is a reflection of my heart. That the joy and love I feel are manifest in my cooking, in my gardening, in our children, in everything! I believe all things in life turn out well if they are done soulfully and honestly.”

“Damn, baby,” I said, my head awhirl at the thoughts and sounds from the woman next to me. “I’m going to call that shrink of yours and tell him he has finally nailed the combination of Prozac, Lithium and Paxil.”

~~~

Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes?

~~~

“According to a study, they found common words used by happy people are, joy, love and hopeful. And they also found common words used by other people to describe happy people. Annoying, irritating, obnoxious…”

Jay Leno

~~~

EXPECTANT MOTHER TO DOCTOR: Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?

DOCTOR:  Yes, your bladder.

~~~

A school girl was required to write an essay of two hundred and fifty words about an automobile. She submitted the following:

“My uncle bought a second-hand automobile. He was riding in the country when it busted going up a hill. I guess this is about fifty words. The other two hundred are what my uncle said when he was walking back to town, but they are not fit for publication.”

~~~

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

“Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”

Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all.  It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”

~~~

“Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people’s characters.”

Margaret Halsey

~~~

A man is driving on the highway when his wife calls him on his cell phone. “Honey, be careful. I heard on the news that there is a car on the road driving the wrong way.”

To this the man replies, “One? They’re ALL going the wrong way!”

~~~

The trouble with so many of us is that we underestimate the power of simplicity. We have a tendency it seems to over complicate our lives and forget what’s important and what’s not. We tend to mistake movement for achievement. We tend to focus on activities instead of results. And as the pace of life continues to race along in the outside world, we forget that we have the power to control our lives regardless of what’s going on outside.

Robert Stuberg

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Do Good Stuff

Ray’s Daily

September 12, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Mark Twain

Do good stuff

The precreation for my wife’s return home tomorrow has worn me out. So I am again sending you a Daily from yesteryear.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 12, 2008

I had the good fortune yesterday to lunch with two special friends after which we visited a community event that included displays of various organizations that do good work in our city. As we walked and stopped and talked it again became obvious to me that there is something extraordinary about both my friends and the people we met, they all care for others. Of course my pals are always warm, outgoing and caring, I think it is their nature to understand that life can be happy. But now I also think they, like the people we met benefit by the spirit of giving and helping others.

We had eaten our lunch in warm sunshine outside a city market and enjoyed one of my favorite things, watching the world go by. The day was beautiful, the food good, the companionship outstanding but it got even better when we had walked the few blocks to visit the circle in the center of our city where so many were waiting to greet us and others. The smiles and enthusiasm of the people we met sharing with us the opportunities they were offering to people like you and me to do something of value made the day even brighter.

After being there I again understood just how doing something for others can add to our lives and we can even do it without a lot of time and effort. In fact here are some tips offered by author, philosopher, and former Sandra Day O’Conner’s Supreme Court clerk, Gretchen Rubin on doing something nice in only a few minutes

Six tips for good deeds that take less than five minutes.

Do good, feel good” is one of the great truths of happiness — but you may be thinking, “Sure, good deeds would make me happy, but I barely have time to get through the essentials of my day. I don’t have time to do any good deeds!” Wrong. Here are some ways that you can help other people—and make yourself feel great, at the same time—in under five minutes.

  1. Be friendly. I’ve decided that there are five degrees of social interactions with strangers: hostile, rude, neutral, polite, and friendly. I find it very difficult to be downright friendly to strangers, but I always find myself energized and cheered by a friendly interaction. It only takes an extra minute to exchange a few pleasant words, but it makes a real difference.
  2. Say “yes.” If you can, and if you should, say “yes.”
  3. Say “no.” My sister, who is a TV-writer in Hollywood, once told me, “’Yes’ comes right away; ‘no’ never comes.” Meaning, for example, that when she’s pitched an idea, if she doesn’t hear “yes” right away, it means they don’t like the idea. I’ve found this precept to be widely true. In many circumstances, we find it hard to say “no” — partly because it will hurt someone’s feelings, partly because it closes a possibility that could otherwise remain open. But waiting to hear “no” saps people’s energy by keeping them hoping for an answer they aren’t going to get. If someone is waiting for your “No,” put them out of their misery.
  4. Sign up on the national organ-donor registry. This takes no time at all, and the consequences could be HUGE! Tell your family that you signed up, too. Remember, the one minute that someone takes, right now, to sign up on the registry might save YOUR life six months from now. And vice versa.
  5. Lead them not into temptation. It can feel generous, friendly, and fun-loving to urge people to take another piece of cake, to drink another glass of wine, or to make an extra purchase, or to urge them to give themselves a break by skipping the gym, skipping class, or quitting smoking next week instead of today. But when you see people truly trying to resist temptation, encourage them to stick to their resolutions.
  6. Do someone else’s chore. Don’t you sometimes wish that someone would do one of your little jobs? If nothing else, to show an awareness of the fact that you faithfully do it, day after day? Emptying the diaper pail or starting the office coffee-pot, even though it’s not “your” job, helps people feel appreciated and cared for. One of my Twelve Commandments is to “Spend out,” which reminds me not to keep score, not to focus so much on everything coming out even – like chores.

Just think how much better our days would be if we all followed Gretchen’s advice be caring for ourselves by caring a little bit more for others.

~~~

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

James Openheim

~~~

JOB SEEKERS FROM THE PAST

Julius Caesar: My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I’d like to get away from all that.

Jesse James: I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks.

Pandora: I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things.

Lady Godiva: What do you mean this isn’t business casual?

~~~

“A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.”

Sidney J. Harris

~~~

My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My ten-year-old niece answered the phone.

“Hello,” she whispered. “Hi, Honey. How’s your mother doing?” I asked.

“She’s sleeping,” she answered, again in a whisper.

“Did she go to the doctor?” I asked.

“Yes. She got some medicine,” my niece said softly.

“Well, don’t wake her. Just tell her I called. What are you doing, by the way?”

Again in a soft whisper, she answered, “Practicing my trumpet.”

~~~

One is not rich by what one owns, but more by what one is able to do without with dignity.

Immanuel Kant

~~~

To make it possible for everyone to attend church on Sunday, we are proposing to have a special “No Excuse Sunday.”

  1. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “But, Sunday is my *only* day to sleep in.”
  2. They will have steel helmets for those who say, “The roof will cave in if I ever came to church.”
  3. Blankets will be furnished for those who say it is too cold and fans will be furnished for those who say it is too hot.

4.There will be hearing aids for those who say, “The pastor speaks too softly,” and cotton for those who say, “He preaches too loudly.”

  1. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
  2. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.
  3. There will be TV dinners for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner too.
  4. Golf clubs will be available for practice swings for those who like to golf on Sunday.

~~~

“What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?”

Mary Ann Evans

~~~

A doctor told Mrs. Stone to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his stamina. A month later when Mrs. Stone came in for another visit, the doctor asked, “How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?”

Mrs. Stone answered, “Well, he’s a little behind with the pills, but he’s about six months ahead with the whiskey.”

~~~

I long to accomplish a great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.

Helen Keller

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Fresh Start

Ray’s Daily

September 11, 2012

www.rays-daily.com

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.

future-is-ours

My wife and I are about to enter the next phase of our lives. She will be returning home in a few days after almost a two month stay in hospitals and a rehabilitation facility. Her recovery was traumatic and difficult, fortunately she does not remember just how bad it was. She still has a long way to go as she recovers her strength and capabilities.

I am going to do all I can to make her rehabilitation as smooth as possible. I will be doing so with a big assist from my family and health professionals.

I recently read an article in the New York Times entitled No, It’s Not Too Late. There’s Only One Real Finish Line in Life, written by Tim Herrera that reminded me that we still have a lot of life ahead of us.

Here is an excerpt from his article.

As we age, we tend to perceive time as exponentially accelerating; the more time that passes, the more we perceive it as running out. This seems natural, and our friends at Scientific American have noted a handful of theories about why. But my favorite is this: As we age, we simply pay less attention to time. When we’re younger and our birthday is approaching, it occupies a disproportionate amount of our attention because we just don’t have that much else going on. But one’s 35th birthday is just another workday to stress over in between worry over paying rent and worry about our phone’s data usage this month.

But let’s come back to life’s finish line. It may seem like the last decade whizzed by, but it doesn’t have any bearing on the present or the future.

Even better, the science is with us: According to the Centers for Disease Control, learning new skills and staying socially engaged in activities as we age can lead to better physical and mental health, and “learning a new activity for older people can provide some ‘insurance’ against memory loss.”

~~~

Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow’s reality.

Malala Yousafzai

~~~

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.  Looking up to heaven he said, “Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!”

Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, Lord, I found one.”

~~~

To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.

Plutarch

~~~

During the jury-selection process, the judge asked a prospective juror some questions. “Have you formed any opinion about the guilt or innocence of the man on trial, Mr. Ferguson?”

“None whatsoever,” Ferguson answered.

“Are you opposed to capital punishment?” the judge asked.

“Certainly not in this case.”

~~~

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

A little boy was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.

“Mommy, mommy, why doesn’t daddy have very many hairs on his head?” he asked his mother.

“He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with such a diplomatic explanation for her husband’s baldness.

Or she was until her son thought for a second and asked, “So, why do you have so much hair?”

~~~

A bore is a person who talks so much about himself that you don’t get a chance to talk about yourself.

~~~

Susie is walking around in a supermarket calling out, “Crisco, Crisssssssco!”

Soon a store clerk approaches and says, “Lady, the Crisco is in aisle D.”

Susie replies, “Oh, I’m not looking for the cooking stuff. I’m calling my husband.”

The clerk is astonished. “Your husband’s name is Crisco?”

Susie answers, “Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we’re out in public.”

“I see,” said the clerk. “What do you call him at home?”

Susie smiles and says, “Lard ass.”

~~~

Life intrudes.

~~~

A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Have you ever done anything of particular merit”? St. Peter asked.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offered. “Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, “Now, back off or I’ll ruin you all!”

St. Peter was impressed. “When did this happen”? He asked.

“Just a couple of minutes ago.”

~~~

Woman shopping for wallpaper to clerk: “Now we’re getting somewhere.  That’s the exact opposite of what I’m looking for.”

~~~

A man went to see his doctor because his hands kept shaking.

“Do you drink much?” asked the doctor.

“No,” said the man. “I spill most of it”.

~~~

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

Earl Nightingale

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Don’t Wait

Ray’s Daily

September 9, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

You just have to do your own thing, no matter what anyone says. It’s your life.”

Ethan Embry

It's-Your-Life

Yesterday they made some modifications in my home to make it easier for mu wife when she returns home from her extended illness. I am running behind this morning so I am sending you another vintage Daily.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 9, 2008

We have often talked about those folks who have missed the opportunity to enjoy their lives because they kept putting it off until tomorrow. As many of you know I spend lots of time with old and new friends that are going through career and life transition. Often they convince themselves that the time of life transition is not the time to invest in their personal happiness and I think that is tragic. I find that there is no better time to decide how our lives could be improved than at a time when we are forced to deal with a change.

Please don’t you be one of those who says later in life “If only I would have….,” after missing what might have been. Trust me you are worth reaping the rewards of a happier life but it is doubtful that it will ever come if all you do is wait for it to happen.

Here is something offered by Robert Holden that explains what I mean.

After years of studying stress, I have concluded that one of the biggest causes of stress is that we wait for happiness to happen! We think happiness is not for now; rather, we see it as a reward we work to, struggle after and suffer for in the hopes that one day it will happen. Following this erroneous train of thought, today becomes a day for well-behaved hardship, noble suffering, mild martyrdom and quiet desperation; and tomorrow, maybe, we might be happy.

Well, it’s official. The news is out: “There is no future!” Please understand, this is not a message of despair; it is simply a statement of truth. I repeat, “There is no future”! Save not, therefore, your best for the future. Do not WAIT to give your best to the next job, the next time, the next person, or, the next opportunity. Give your best NOW!

Some things never change: your greatest opportunity for happiness has been, will be, and still is, NOW! Unfortunately, you are often too busy “pasturising” and “futurising” to see that everything is here already right now. Give up the past, give up the future, and give in to happiness NOW! It really is all here. It must be, because you are here.

The one piece of good news that is true forever is, The present is here, now!

When in search of wisdom, linguists often refer to roots and connections of words from pre-historic civilisations. They explore ancient languages like Sanskrit, Aramaic and Latin, for instance, to unearth forgotten gems of wisdom. Well, much closer to home and to present time, it is helpful to note that in the English language, the word “present” has three distinct meanings: “here”, “now” and “a gift”.

Is this only a coincidence, or could it be that, the greatest gifts of life are always available to you here and now! The word “present” also links to “presence”, “being” and “being present”. Here is another clue. Give yourself to NOW! The future is not your answer – it has no true power. Now – right here – is good enough for you. All you need remember is, nothing is missing within you and nothing is missing here now.

~~~

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

Stacey Charter

~~~

Master Sergeant Alfie was a thirty-year Army veteran now assigned to a training battalion and tough as nails. He seemed to have no thought whatsoever about how others responded to his cut-and-dried military manner. One day he assembled the training battalion and announced, “Private Monroe, take one step forward.” Private Monroe took one step forward, and the sergeant bellowed, “Private Monroe. Report to the chaplain; your mother just died.” Monroe just crumbled and fainted dead away from shock. Later that day, the battalion commander chewed out the master sergeant: “You’re going to have to learn something about TACT.

You just can’t yell at a man and tell him his mother just died. The next time you’re called on for this duty, you’d better do it in a more compassionate way.” It just so happened that the very next day, another soldier’s mother died, and the MSGT assembled the troops again. “All you whose mother is living” he shouted, “take one step forward. NOT SO FAST, TAYLOR!”

~~~

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.”

William Shakespeare

~~~

The lady lawyer approached the jury box and began an eloquent plea for her client: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I want to tell you about this man.  There’s so much to say that is good: he never beat his mother; he was always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule; he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest.  Everyone loves him and. . . ”

Her client leaned over to a friend and said, “How do you like her? I pay her good dough to defend me, and she’s telling the jury about some other guy.”

~~~

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

~~~

Two blondes are racing down a bumpy back road in a pretty beat up car down to a bank they’re going to rob.

“Drive slower,” pleads the one in the passenger seat, “I don’t want all the dynamite in the trunk to explode.”

“Relax,” the driver replies. “Even if it did, I’ve got a spare box under the passenger seat.”

~~~

“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.”

Ingrid Bergman

~~~

Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags.  He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well-dressed man when he got to the luggage carousel.

Mr. Smith walked over to the fellow and pointed out the colored ribbons tied to the handle, and the fluorescent tape on the sides.

“I believe that luggage is mine.  Were your bags marked like this?” he asked.

“Actually,” the man replied, “I was wondering who did this to my luggage.”

~~~

“Don’t worry,” a patient told his psychiatrist. “I’ll pay every cent I owe or my name isn’t Alexander the Great!”

~~~

Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant. Marriage is Chinese take-out.

Love is cuddling on a sofa. Marriage is deciding on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children. Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is losing your appetite. Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is a flickering flame. Marriage is a flickering television.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?!”

~~~

Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

~~~

Morris had proposed to young Sarah, and was being interviewed by Sam, his prospective father-in-law.

“Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?” the older man asked Morris the suitor.

“Yes, sir,” replied Morris, “I’m sure that I am.”

“Think long and carefully now,” said Sarah’s father. “There are twelve of us…including Uncle Izzy”

~~~

“Some people are making such thorough plans for rainy days that they aren’t enjoying today’s sunshine.”

William Feather

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

They need us

Ray’s Daily

September 7, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Let us sacrifice our today so that our children can have a better tomorrow.

P. J. Abdul Kalam

help us.

These are difficult times for so many in our world. Millions are homeless while millions don’t have enough to eat. These are especially trying times for the children whose families have lost everything in the recent US hurricane.  Our troubles are nothing compared to the challenges facing these innocent kids.

The plight of the young and innocent has motivated me to share a favorite prayer with you today

PRAYER FOR THE CHILDREN

We pray for the Children who sneak Popsicle’s before supper, who erase holes in math workbooks, who can never find their shoes.

And we pray for those who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire, who can’t bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers, who never “counted potatoes,” who are born in places where we wouldn’t be caught dead, who never go to the circus, who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for children who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions, who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.

And we pray for those who never get dessert, who have no safe blanket to drag behind, who watch their parents watch them die, who can’t find any bread to steal, who don’t have any rooms to clean up, whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser, whose monsters are real.

We pray for children who spend all their allowance before Tuesday, who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food, who like ghost stories, who shove dirty clothes under the bed, who never rinse out the tub, who get visits from the tooth fairy, who don’t like to be kissed in front of the carpool, who squirm in church and scream in the phone, whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those whose nightmares come in the daytime, who will eat anything,

who have never seen a dentist, who aren’t spoiled by anybody, who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep, who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for children who want to be carried and for those who must, who we never give up on and for those who don’t get a second chance. For those we smother and . . .  for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.

~~~

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

Frederick Douglass

~~~

We encouraged our 18-year-old daughter to find a job to help pay for her college education. One day she came home with five applications, and later that evening we read them.

Under “Previous Employment,” she listed “Baby-sitting.” And under “Reason for Leaving” she wrote, “They came home.”

~~~

Loving someone means helping them to be more themselves, which can be different from being what you’d like them to be, although often they turn out the same.

Merle Shain

~~~

Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter, “Hoover!” under his breath.

On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. “Hoover!” again, a little louder this time.

On the third hole, a miracle occurred & Fr. Murphy’s drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! “Praise be to God!”

He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in.  “HOOVER!!!!”

By this time, his opponent couldn’t withhold his curiosity any longer, & asked why the priest said “Hoover”.

“It’s the biggest dam I know.”

~~~

Nothing ruins a class reunion like someone who has managed to stay young-looking and get rich at the same time.

~~~

Children’s Creative Musings about Science!

* To explain nuclear reactions, one child said, “When they broke open molecules, the found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.”

* Concerning astronomy, one child said, “Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the day-time.” And another said, “Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.”

* “Vacuums are nothings,” said a young physics student. “We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there.”

* “Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on,” one child observed.

* “Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail,” reported a budding meteorologist. Another added, “Thunder is a rich source of loudness.”

* Other children added these observations: “Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.” And, “It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.” And, “The wind is like the air, only pushier.”

~~~

“I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”

Joseph Blosephina

~~~

A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.

The lawyer thundered, “Have you ever been married?”

“Yes, sir,” said the witness in a low voice. “Once.”

“Whom did you marry?” the lawyer demanded.

“Well, a woman,” the witness answered timidly.

The lawyer said angrily, “Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?”

And the witness said meekly, “My sister did.”

~~~

“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”

Dudley Moore

~~~

Nancy, whose daughter had just given birth to a beautiful, healthy baby, showed up for a lunch date looking less cheerful than Jill expected.

“What’s wrong,” Jill asked. “Are you depressed by the fact that you’re a grandmother?”

Nancy responded with a barely perceptible smile. “No,” she said. “It’s just that I’m not crazy about having to sleep with a grandfather

~~~

There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.

Nelson Mandela

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

A New Day

Ray’s Daily

September 6, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”

Victor Hugo

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

With all the turmoil that exists around so many of us it would be easy to be so distracted that we lose sight of all that is right in our world. I am sure that the good things that lie ahead for my wife after she regains her health is the driving force behind her effort to recover.

It is worth remembering during the worst of times that these difficulties too will pass. I find it heartwarming to remember that our friends are still here, the places we like are awaiting our return, and best of all our families are there providing caring support.

Fifteen years ago I saved the following piece, I don’t remember if I included it in a Daily at the time but I think it is appropriate to include today.

Something to ponder

If your parents are still alive and still married…you are very rare, even in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful…you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone’s hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder…you are blessed because you can offer God’s healing touch.

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

~~~

Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.

Richard M. DeVos

~~~

Signs You’re Going to Have a Bad Day

You know it’s going to be a bad day when:

  • your twin sister forgets your birthday.
  • you wake up face down on the pavement.
  • you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
  • you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
  • you see a “60 Minutes news team” waiting in your outer office
  • your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles
  • you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren’t any
  • you turn on the TV news and they’re displaying emergency routes out of your city
  • you wake up to discover that your water bed broke and then you realize that you don’t have a water bed
  • your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell’s Angels on the freeway
  • your doctor tells you, “Well, I have bad news and good news…”
  • your ex-lover calls and tells you he has 6 days to live, and that you’d better get the Test
  • you have an appointment in 10 minutes and you just woke up

~~~

Some people grow up and spread cheer; others just grow up and spread.

~~~

Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. “I guess you’re never too old,” the first one boasted. “Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she’d be interested in dating me but to be perfectly honest, I don’t quite understand it.”

“Well,” said his friend, “you have to remember that nowadays women are more aggressive. They don’t mind being the one to ask.”

“No, I don’t think it’s that.”

“Well, maybe you remind her of her father.”

“No, it’s not that either. It’s just that she also mentioned something about carbon 14.”

~~~

Being normal is driving me crazy.

~~~

This is the transcription of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, October 1998. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98.

IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

IRISH: Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course.

BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTERMEASURES       WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

IRISH: We are a lighthouse…………….Your Call.

~~~

“The thing you have to be prepared for is that other people don’t always dream your dream.”

Linda Ronstadt

~~~

I wanted to take my kids to the movies but did not want to wait on line to buy the tickets, so I called ahead to the theater to buy them over the phone.

I asked, “How much is a ticket?”

They said, “Seven dollars.”

I asked, “How much for children?”

They said, “Same price, Seven dollars.”

I said, “The airlines charge half fare for children.”

They said, “OK, put your kids on a plane to somewhere, and you come to the movie. You’ll enjoy it a lot more that way.”

~~~

Human spirit is the ability to face the uncertainty of the future with curiosity and optimism. It is the belief that problems can be solved, differences resolved. It is a type of confidence. And it is fragile. It can be blackened by fear and superstition.

Bernard Beckett

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

I am working on it

Ray’s Daily

September 5, 2917

www.rays-daily.com

“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.”

Danny Kaye

Colorful-Oil-Paintings101

My wife had a pretty good day yesterday. We even had a pleasant meal together in the rehab facilities dining room. She was in relatively good spirits which made me very happy.

I keep working on not letting our current situation taking me down. I don’t want to impede her progress by exhibiting a gloomy outlook. We are so fortunate to have so many of our family near by to help keep her spirits up.

I recently stumbled across the following piece that is exactly what I need to stay focused on, that is letting happiness offset the anxiety generated by our current difficulties.

How to Be Happy

Author Robert Louis Stevenson offered the following tips for maintaining a positive attitude. They still apply today…

  1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
  2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
  3. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
  4. You can’t please everybody. Don’t let criticism worry you.
  5. Don’t let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
  6. Do the things you enjoy doing, but stay out of debt.
  7. Do not borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
  8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, enmity, or grudges.
  9. Have many interests. If you can’t travel, read about new places.
  10. Don’t hold postmortems. Don’t spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes.
  11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.

~~~

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”

Jean Shinoda Bolen

~~~

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)

  1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a Deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
  2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
  3. ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
  4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
  5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles
  6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
  7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
  8. SITCOMs : Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
  9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
  10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
  11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
  12. IRRITAINMENT : Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
  13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
  14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

~~~

Warning label on a drum of industrial-strength detergent:

“If you cannot read English, do not use this product until label has been explained to you.”

~~~

Sally purchased an answering machine with a prerecorded message that used a male voice. She chose not to record a new message. The next Saturday she was “screening” her calls. The phone rang and the machine answered… After the message, there was a pause and the caller hung up.

The phone rang a second time — the same result. Then the phone rang a third time, and the person said: “This is your mother, I think. If I am, please call me.”

~~~

“Some things have to be believed to be seen.”

Ralph Hodgson

~~~

A vacationer called a seaside hotel to ask its location. “It’s only a stone’s throw from the beach,” he was told.

“But how will I recognize it?” asked the man.

“It’s the one with all the broken windows,” said the clerk.

~~~

“If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.”

Peter Ustinov

~~~

An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. “Don’t ask me a lot of questions,” he told the boy. “Just do whatever I tell you to do.”

One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. “Get the hammer over there,” he said. “When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard.”

Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

~~~

“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment.”

Anthony Robbins

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Let’s bank on better days

Ray’s Daily

September 4, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.

Gordon B. Hinckley

life-goes-on

 It is Labor Day ion my country, a national holiday. For some of us it is a time for relaxation and enjoyment. But for those who have lost everything in the recent hurricane it is the beginning of their long road back to some semblance of a normal and happy life.

I will be spending much of my time at my wife’s bedside as she too works her wat back to a more normal life. It is important that we don’t let our troubles keep us from appreciating the good things that still exist around us. Far too many us let our woes keep us from even small mpments of enjoyment, even to the point of letting any happiness to pass us by. So make sure you don’t end up like the old man in the following story,

An old man lived in the village

An old man lived in the village. He was one of the most unfortunate people in the world. The whole village was tired of him, he was always gloomy, constantly complained and always was in a ba d mood. The longer he lived, the more bile was becoming and the more poisonous were his words. People avoided him, because his misfortune became contagious. It was even unnaturally and insulting to be happy next to him. He created the feeling of unhappiness in others.

 But one day, when he got eighty years old, an incredible thing happened. Instantly everyone heard the rumour: “An Old Man is happy today, he doesn’t complain about anything, smiles, and even his face is freshened up”. The whole village gathered together. An old man was asked:

– What happened to you?

– Nothing special – he answered. – Eighty years I’ve been chasing happiness, and it was useless. And then I decided to live without happiness and just enjoy life. That’s why I’m happy now.

~~~

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

She said: The day I started my new job, I was in the office filling out an employee form when I came to the section that asked: Single____,  Married____, Divorced____.

I marked Single.

Glancing at the man next to me, who was also filling out his form, I noticed he hadn’t marked any of the blanks. Instead he had written, ‘Yes, in that order.’

~~~

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

Dorothy Nevill

~~~

A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.

“Well, Dad,” said the boy, “I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons.” “Uh-huh,” said the father, “that seems fair.”

“I know, but I never thought he’d choose his big sister!”

~~~

A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”

He answered “Call for backup.”

~~~

If your wife doesn’t feel well, gentlemen, do what I do to speed her recovery… offer to help with the housework. If you don’t think there’s such a thing as a miracle recovery, you ought to see my wife get well again every time I start to vacuum the windows.

~~~

“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.”

Steven Wright

~~~

Margaret had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in and told the cabbie the address to go to.  The cabbie turned out to be a lunatic driver and Margaret sat in the backseat clutching the door handle wondering if she could expect to survive this trip.

The cabdriver sped through the crowded NYC streets, weaving in and out of traffic.  Margaret watched as one pedestrian after another leapt aside to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver.

Margaret looked ahead and saw a truck double parked on the narrow street.  Not only did the driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck.  He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side.

“Driver,” Margaret screamed, “Are you crazy?? Are you trying to get us both killed?”

“Relax lady,” he said.  “Just do what I do.  Close your eyes.”

~~~

Jill:  What’s wrong, Mary?  Haven’t you found Mr. Right yet?

Mary:  I haven’t found Mr. Right, but I have found Mr. Cheap, Mr. Sleazy, and Mr. Wrong.

~~~

A Father is asked by his friend, “Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?”

“Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector.” he replies

To this his friend responds “Strange ambition to have for a career.”

“Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!”

~~~

“The price of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is that we must put up with a good deal of rubbish.”

Robert Jackson

~~~

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

  1. Cats’ facial expressions.
  2. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
  3. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds.
  4. Fat clothes.
  5. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
  6. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
  7. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
  8. Eyelash curlers.
  9. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand

  1. OTHER WOMEN

~~~

If you go around being afraid, you’re never going to enjoy life. You have only one chance, so you’ve got to have fun.

Lindsey Vonn

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

You can do it!

Ray’Daily

September 1, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine.

Jack Ma

I can

Enter a caption

These are trying times. The Texas disaster will be the most difficult time millions of our fellow citizens will ever face. Recovery is going to take all their strength and perseverance. The temptation to just give up and succumb to despair will require courage and stamina.

The months and years ahead will be a test of the resiliency of folks just like you and me. I am confident most will hang in there and successfully start their new lives. I wish them well and sincerely hope that we who have suffered no loss don’t abandon them in their time of need.

The following piece I found on the internet seems appropriate, not only for the flood victims but also for my wife as she works her way back to health.

                       Never Give Up

Life can make you feel powerless, but never give up

People can make you feel worthless, but never give up

Friends can make you feel hopeless, but never give up

Family can make you feel hapless, but never give up

Life can be very vicious, but never give

People can be very capricious, but never give up

Friends can be very ungracious, but never give up

Family can be very malicious, but never give up

Life can be very tiring, but never give up

People can be all uninspiring, but never give up

Friends can be all conspiring, but never give up

Family can be uncompromising, but never give

Never give up, trying to live a happy life

Never give up, trying to connect with good people

Never give up, trying to form good friendships

Never give up, trying to start a great family

Never give up, on the miracle that is life

Never give up on the beauty of humanity

Never give up on the joyfulness of friendship

Never give up on the blessedness that is family

Never give up on your dreams

Never give up on your story

Never give up on your life Never give up on your glory

~~~

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”

Dale Carnegie

~~~

There was this city-girl who was out driving and found herself in a rural area. She noted a farm animal standing next to a farmer and stopped the car to ask the farmer a question.

“Sir,” she inquired, “Why doesn’t this cow have any horns?”

The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone. “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ’em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”

~~~

Jacob and Rifka had been married for 65 years. When they were asked whether, in all those years, they had ever thought of divorce, they replied, “No. Murder yes, but divorce never.”

~~~

While visiting St Patrick’s Cathedral on a tour of New York City, my daughter and her children were awed by the sight.

The kids were especially curious about the votive candles, so my daughter asked if they’d each like to light one.  She explained that is it customary to say a prayer of petition or thanks, and she was careful to tell them that these are not like birthday candles.  “Do you have any questions?” she asked.

“No,” said the five-year-old, “but if there’s a pony outside, it’s mine.”

~~~

“The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.”

Laurence J. Peter

~~~

First thing – every single morning – one of the secretaries in our office opened the newspaper and read everyone’s horoscope aloud.

“Gwen,” said our boss finally, “you seem to be a normal, levelheaded person. Do you really believe in astrology?”

“Of course not,” Gwen answered. “You know how skeptical we Capricorns are.”

~~~

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

~~~

Sarah Kay was studying the origins of foods in kindergarten.  One day, she and her mother were walking through the grocery store discussing what ingredients went into various products.  Sarah Kay said, “Pork comes from pigs and beef comes from cows.”  Then she asked, “How DO they get the pork from the pig, Mommy?”  Her mother felt that the truth was the only way to go, so she explained that they kill the animal to eat its meat.  Horrified, Sarah Kay went past shelves staring at the meat and saying, “They KILLED a cow to get THIS?”  She could not believe it, and her little heart was broken. Then, they went to the bakery where Sarah Kay began to check out the various donuts and goodies.  She noticed a beautiful white cake and asked, “Mommy, what is this cake called?”  Her mother replied, “It’s an angelfood cake, honey.” Immediately Sarah Kay’s eyes filled with big tears and she wailed, “You mean they KILLED an ANGEL to make this?”

~~~

“The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.”

Marty Feldman

~~~

Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting ready to go out to dinner. Shirley says, “Abe, darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel suit or the Gucci?”

Abe says, “Do I care?”

A few minutes later Shirley says, “Abe, should I wear my Cartier watch or my Rolex?”

Abe says, “So, who cares?”

A few more minutes pass and Shirley says, “Abe, love, shall I wear my five-carat pear diamond ring or my six-carat round diamond ring with the baguettes?”

Abe replies, “Shirley, I really don’t care what you wear, but if you don’t get moving, we’re going to miss the Early Bird Special.”

~~~

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

Harriet Beecher Stowe

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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