Ray's musings and humor


Ray’s Daily

September 29, 2017


There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.

Thomas Aquinas


I was in distress the other day because I thought I had lost a friend due to a misunderstanding that I created. I am at the age where friends are important to retain for as long as you can. They are the sounding board for your thoughts and concerns. They tolerate your missteps and cheer for your successes.

But more importantly they fill a landscape that would-be barren without them. There is no better antidote for lonesomeness than time spent with a friend. I hope you don’t mind that I appreciate you all as much as I do. And by the way if you get some free time let me buy you a cup of coffee.

Here is an article written by Molly Edmonds that I think is spot on.

What is friendship?

Friendship is a type of relationship between two people who care about each other. But such a dry definition doesn’t do the concept of friendship justice. Consider these examples: A friend is the first person you want to call when you hear good news. A friend remembers that you don’t like pickles on your sandwich. A friend will accompany you on the most boring of errands and make them seem fun.

In other words, friendship is wonderful, and much ink has been spilled in citing the virtues of having friends. That’s not to say friendship is easy, though. It demands time and effort, and it requires that people put someone other than themselves first sometimes. But in exchange for that work, a friend can provide an immense amount of support and comfort in good times and in bad.


Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Helen Keller


This is the answering machine message the Pacific Palisades High School (California) Staff voted to record on their school telephone answering system. Too bad they can’t actually use it… This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework. This was voted unanimously by the office staff as the actual answering machine message for the school :- “Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2

To complain about what we do – Press 3

To swear at staff members – Press 4

To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you -Press 5

If you want us to raise your child – Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7

To request another teacher for the third time this year – Press 8

To complain about bus transportation – Press 9

To complain about school lunches – Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/ her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your children’s lack of effort…hang up and have a nice day!”


“Six packets of mothballs, please,” said an old lady to the druggist.

“But I sold you six packets yesterday.”

“I know, but my aim’s not very good and I keep missing them.”


A letter written in a childish scrawl came to the post office addressed to “God”. A postal employee, not knowing exactly what to do with the letter, opened it and read: “Dear God, my name is Jimmy. I am 6 years old. My father is dead and my Mom is having a hard time raising me and my sister. Would you please send us $500?” The postal employee was touched. He showed the letter to his fellow workers and all decided to kick in a few dollars each and send it to the family. They were able to raise $300.

A couple of weeks later the same post office received a second letter addressed to God. The boy thanked God for the recent infusion of cash, but ended with this request: “Next time would you send the money directly to us? If you send it through the post office they deduct $200.”


Jack is telling his friends about his recent divorce. “Yeah, she divorced me for religious reasons.  She worshipped money and I didn’t have any.”


The HMO account manager noticed that nearly every bill from one pediatrician’s office included the line item “behavior modification reinforcers.” Fearing that the pediatrician was engaging in some unapproved, experimental psychological treatment, she called the pediatrician’s office to inquire, “What on earth are behavior modification reinforcers?”

“Lollipops,” was the reply.


You should always be aware that your head creates your world.


“Hello, is this Father O’Malley?”

“It is.”

“This is the IRS. Can you help us?”

“I can.”

“Do you know a Ted Houlihan?”

“I do.”

“Is he a member of your congregation?”

“He is.” “Did he donate $10,000 to the church?”

“He will.”


“It’s like, if you’re going to hug me, give me a great hug or don’t touch me at all.”

Sandra Bullock


Little Johnny said, “Hey, mom, can you give me twenty dollars?”

“Certainly not,” his mom said.

Little Johnny said, “If you do, I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”

His mother’s ears perked up.  She grabbed her purse, handed him a twenty and said, “Well?  What did he say?”

“He said, ‘Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow’.”


I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.

Charles R. Swindoll


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



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