Ray's musings and humor

Fresh Start

Ray’s Daily

September 11, 2012


The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.


My wife and I are about to enter the next phase of our lives. She will be returning home in a few days after almost a two month stay in hospitals and a rehabilitation facility. Her recovery was traumatic and difficult, fortunately she does not remember just how bad it was. She still has a long way to go as she recovers her strength and capabilities.

I am going to do all I can to make her rehabilitation as smooth as possible. I will be doing so with a big assist from my family and health professionals.

I recently read an article in the New York Times entitled No, It’s Not Too Late. There’s Only One Real Finish Line in Life, written by Tim Herrera that reminded me that we still have a lot of life ahead of us.

Here is an excerpt from his article.

As we age, we tend to perceive time as exponentially accelerating; the more time that passes, the more we perceive it as running out. This seems natural, and our friends at Scientific American have noted a handful of theories about why. But my favorite is this: As we age, we simply pay less attention to time. When we’re younger and our birthday is approaching, it occupies a disproportionate amount of our attention because we just don’t have that much else going on. But one’s 35th birthday is just another workday to stress over in between worry over paying rent and worry about our phone’s data usage this month.

But let’s come back to life’s finish line. It may seem like the last decade whizzed by, but it doesn’t have any bearing on the present or the future.

Even better, the science is with us: According to the Centers for Disease Control, learning new skills and staying socially engaged in activities as we age can lead to better physical and mental health, and “learning a new activity for older people can provide some ‘insurance’ against memory loss.”


Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow’s reality.

Malala Yousafzai


Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.  Looking up to heaven he said, “Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!”

Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, Lord, I found one.”


To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.



During the jury-selection process, the judge asked a prospective juror some questions. “Have you formed any opinion about the guilt or innocence of the man on trial, Mr. Ferguson?”

“None whatsoever,” Ferguson answered.

“Are you opposed to capital punishment?” the judge asked.

“Certainly not in this case.”


We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

Rodney Dangerfield


A little boy was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.

“Mommy, mommy, why doesn’t daddy have very many hairs on his head?” he asked his mother.

“He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with such a diplomatic explanation for her husband’s baldness.

Or she was until her son thought for a second and asked, “So, why do you have so much hair?”


A bore is a person who talks so much about himself that you don’t get a chance to talk about yourself.


Susie is walking around in a supermarket calling out, “Crisco, Crisssssssco!”

Soon a store clerk approaches and says, “Lady, the Crisco is in aisle D.”

Susie replies, “Oh, I’m not looking for the cooking stuff. I’m calling my husband.”

The clerk is astonished. “Your husband’s name is Crisco?”

Susie answers, “Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we’re out in public.”

“I see,” said the clerk. “What do you call him at home?”

Susie smiles and says, “Lard ass.”


Life intrudes.


A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Have you ever done anything of particular merit”? St. Peter asked.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offered. “Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, “Now, back off or I’ll ruin you all!”

St. Peter was impressed. “When did this happen”? He asked.

“Just a couple of minutes ago.”


Woman shopping for wallpaper to clerk: “Now we’re getting somewhere.  That’s the exact opposite of what I’m looking for.”


A man went to see his doctor because his hands kept shaking.

“Do you drink much?” asked the doctor.

“No,” said the man. “I spill most of it”.


Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

Earl Nightingale


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




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