Ray's musings and humor

Let’s bank on better days

Ray’s Daily

September 4, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.

Gordon B. Hinckley

life-goes-on

 It is Labor Day ion my country, a national holiday. For some of us it is a time for relaxation and enjoyment. But for those who have lost everything in the recent hurricane it is the beginning of their long road back to some semblance of a normal and happy life.

I will be spending much of my time at my wife’s bedside as she too works her wat back to a more normal life. It is important that we don’t let our troubles keep us from appreciating the good things that still exist around us. Far too many us let our woes keep us from even small mpments of enjoyment, even to the point of letting any happiness to pass us by. So make sure you don’t end up like the old man in the following story,

An old man lived in the village

An old man lived in the village. He was one of the most unfortunate people in the world. The whole village was tired of him, he was always gloomy, constantly complained and always was in a ba d mood. The longer he lived, the more bile was becoming and the more poisonous were his words. People avoided him, because his misfortune became contagious. It was even unnaturally and insulting to be happy next to him. He created the feeling of unhappiness in others.

 But one day, when he got eighty years old, an incredible thing happened. Instantly everyone heard the rumour: “An Old Man is happy today, he doesn’t complain about anything, smiles, and even his face is freshened up”. The whole village gathered together. An old man was asked:

– What happened to you?

– Nothing special – he answered. – Eighty years I’ve been chasing happiness, and it was useless. And then I decided to live without happiness and just enjoy life. That’s why I’m happy now.

~~~

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

She said: The day I started my new job, I was in the office filling out an employee form when I came to the section that asked: Single____,  Married____, Divorced____.

I marked Single.

Glancing at the man next to me, who was also filling out his form, I noticed he hadn’t marked any of the blanks. Instead he had written, ‘Yes, in that order.’

~~~

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

Dorothy Nevill

~~~

A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.

“Well, Dad,” said the boy, “I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons.” “Uh-huh,” said the father, “that seems fair.”

“I know, but I never thought he’d choose his big sister!”

~~~

A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”

He answered “Call for backup.”

~~~

If your wife doesn’t feel well, gentlemen, do what I do to speed her recovery… offer to help with the housework. If you don’t think there’s such a thing as a miracle recovery, you ought to see my wife get well again every time I start to vacuum the windows.

~~~

“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.”

Steven Wright

~~~

Margaret had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in and told the cabbie the address to go to.  The cabbie turned out to be a lunatic driver and Margaret sat in the backseat clutching the door handle wondering if she could expect to survive this trip.

The cabdriver sped through the crowded NYC streets, weaving in and out of traffic.  Margaret watched as one pedestrian after another leapt aside to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver.

Margaret looked ahead and saw a truck double parked on the narrow street.  Not only did the driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck.  He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side.

“Driver,” Margaret screamed, “Are you crazy?? Are you trying to get us both killed?”

“Relax lady,” he said.  “Just do what I do.  Close your eyes.”

~~~

Jill:  What’s wrong, Mary?  Haven’t you found Mr. Right yet?

Mary:  I haven’t found Mr. Right, but I have found Mr. Cheap, Mr. Sleazy, and Mr. Wrong.

~~~

A Father is asked by his friend, “Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?”

“Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector.” he replies

To this his friend responds “Strange ambition to have for a career.”

“Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!”

~~~

“The price of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is that we must put up with a good deal of rubbish.”

Robert Jackson

~~~

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

  1. Cats’ facial expressions.
  2. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
  3. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds.
  4. Fat clothes.
  5. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
  6. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
  7. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
  8. Eyelash curlers.
  9. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand

  1. OTHER WOMEN

~~~

If you go around being afraid, you’re never going to enjoy life. You have only one chance, so you’ve got to have fun.

Lindsey Vonn

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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