“How we need another soul to cling to.”
I was asked by someone yesterday what I thought was the secret of my wife’s and my marriage of over sixty years. I told was that I thought it was how our companionship was based on understanding, caring, forgiveness and true affection for each othet. Her question started me thinking about over the years I seldom had let my partner know how much I appreciated her and all she had done for me.
Marc Chernoff recently wrote an article entitled 9 Things Your Relationships Need from You that I could have used over the years. Here are excerpts from his offering
There is greatness and beauty in doing something inconvenient for the sake of someone you care about. All relationships require work. They don’t just materialize and maintain themselves, and they aren’t built on a foundation of convenience either. They take time and patience and two people who are willing to put in the effort.
Here’s how to do your part – things your relationships need from you:
- Attention When we pay attention to each other we breathe new life into each other. With frequent attention and affection our relationships flourish, and we as individuals grow stronger.
- Trust – The entire fabric of our society – people working, living and breathing together – relies on the positive beliefs we have about each other – a subtle, inherent trust. This trust is the glue that holds every peaceful civilization together. Which is why trust is the greatest compliment you can give a person, even greater than love.
- Honesty – When your intentions are good and your cause is just, honesty will always help you. When your heart is open to love and truth, your lips will not utter lies that haunt you. When people are honest with each other up front, the truth may hurt sooner, but the suffering always dies faster, and out of this suffering comes growth.
- Loyalty – Stand by those you care about in their darkest moments, not because you want to stand in the dark, but because you don’t want them to either. Brave the shadows alongside them until they’re able to find the light. On the flipside, stand by these same people on their sunniest days, not because you want to scorch your skin, but because you’re not afraid to let them shine bright.
- Acceptance – There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Even if it seems perfect now, it won’t always be. Imperfection, however, is real and beautiful. It’s how two people accept and deal with the imperfections of a relationship that make it ideal.
- Forgiveness – Forgiveness is one of the greatest virtues to which you should always seek. Imagine if everyone you knew was willing both to apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem that you all would not be able to solve? Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did is OK.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did ruin my happiness forever.”
Mature love is composed and sustaining; a celebration of commitment, companionship, and trust.
Jackson Brown, Jr.
A millionaire informs his attorney, “I want a stipulation in my Will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death.”
“Why such an odd stipulation?” asks the attorney.
“Because,” he says, “I want someone to be sorry I died.”
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing. “Officer,” he asks, “have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?”
“No, I haven’t. What’s the problem?”
“The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!”
“Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?” the officer asked.
“Well, yes,” the barber replies. “He’s carrying one of his ears in his left hand.”
Harp: A nude Steinway.
She said: Sitting at the kitchen table after dinner one night, my son-in-law was telling us that he’d finished his training for volunteer firefighting and was showing us his beeper. As he spoke, the beeper let out a shrill “there’s a fire” message.
Bryan nearly jumped over the table getting to the door. We watched him as he raced for the car and sped up the block to the fire hall.
“It’s wonderful to know our firemen are trained to respond instantly,” I said to my daughter. “I didn’t know Bryan could move so fast.”
“I hate to burst your bubble, Mom,” she replied, “but the first guy there gets to drive the truck.”
I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.
Louisa May Alcott
Everyone was surprised when fastidious, virginal Percy lispingly announced his intention to wed.
“What, you, Percy?” was the amazed reaction. Some skeptics made bets that he wouldn’t go through with it, but Percy fooled them. He even went on a honeymoon.
Upon his return, one of the losers bitingly asked, “Well, is your wife pregnant?”
“I certainly hope so,” said Percy with great sincerity. “I wouldn’t want to go through that again!”
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.
Franklin P. Jones
The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions.
Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over.
An English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking through a mountain valley that was strewn with rocks, and the traveler asked, “How did these rocks get here?”
“Sir,” said the guide, “They were brought down by a glacier.”
The tourist peered up the mountain and said, “But I don’t see any glacier.”
“Oh, really?” said the guide. “I guess it has gone back for more.”
Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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