Ray's musings and humor

A Special Day

Ray’s Daily

August 16, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

birthday-to-my-wonderful-wife

“To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury;

And refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable;

And wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly;

To listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart;

To bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never;

In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious grow up through the common.

This is to be my symphony.”

William Ellery Channing

I am leaving soon to join my wife at the rehabilitation facility where she is recovering from her severe medical problems. I am going to join her for dinner and a small family birthday celebration. I am going to share with you what I wrote on her birthday ten years ago. I hope your life has been as good as ours has been during our more than sixty years together.

Ray

Today is my wife’s 40-something birthday, I don’t quite understand it since I am pretty sure we have been married almost 55 years. If you are married you know there are certain things you just have to accept.

I would like to dedicate the above quote to her and our marriage of many years. Especially the part that deals with small means, lack of luxury and so on. I want you to know I have taken the guidance provided by Channing to heart by offering her both elegance and refinement; I hope she will be pleased that I have again avoided the temptation to buy her something of value.

Actually we are at the point in our lives where there is not much we really need that we don’t have. We made a pact sometime ago that our cruises and our vacations will be our primary gift to each other. Of course I did buy her something so that she knows I have not forgotten, even though she may want to forget.

Someone asked me not long ago the secret of a long and mostly happy marriage. I responded with a few words; compatibility, mutual concern, trust, and understanding. I am not sure we ever were able to run through the daisies in slow motion, but we sure did learn to live with each other without regret, and that’s not bad.

~~~

Chains do not hold a marriage together.

It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

Simone Signoret

~~~

A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.

The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing.

To which the boy replied, yes he did, dad said he didn’t have enough bait for both of us.

~~~

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

~~~

FATAL THINGS TO SAY IF YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT

“I finished the Oreos.”

“Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds.”

“Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby.”

“I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay like that!”

“Well, couldn’t they induce labour? The 25th is the Super Bowl.”

“Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”

“Get your own ice cream.”

~~~

A chrysanthemum by any other name would be much easier to spell

~~~

Jolene had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her Mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed.

A few days later a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, “All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen.”

~~~

True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.

Edna Buchanan

~~~

Miss Figpot was quizzing her third-grade students on their spelling words. She asked Little Johnny to spell “straight.” Johnny did so without error.

“Now,” said the teacher, “what does it mean?”

Johnny replied, “Without water.”

~~~

I really do believe I can accomplish a great deal with a big grin,

I know some people find that disconcerting, but that doesn’t matter.

Beverly Sills

~~~

Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher.

The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.

“Sure,” said the young boy confidently. “Means carrying a child.”

~~~

Life is not measured by how many breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

~~~

The diplomat was cornered at an official function by a more-or-less attractive woman who challenged him to guess her age.

Without missing a beat, he answered gallantly, “Madam, your question presents a rare challenge for me; I cannot decide whether to say how young you must be because of your fresh beauty, or how old you must be because of your obvious wisdom.”

~~~

I solved the parking problem. I bought a parked car.

~~~

It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when a little man slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled.

As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, “May I have two bagels to go, please?”

The baker said in astonishment, “Two bagels? Nothing more?”

“That’s right,” answered the little man. “One for me and one for Bernice.”

“Bernice is your wife?” Asked the baker.

“Of course she’s my wife! Do you think my mother would send me out on a night like this?”

~~~

When asked what she wanted for her birthday, little Sarah said, “One of everything, please!”

~~~

You may have heard the old joke about Shirley, the Jewish mother in NYC, who brought her 6 year old boy to the psychoanalyst, who diagnosed: “Nothing much wrong with your son, just a slight Oedipus complex.

Said Shirley the mom… “Oedipus, schmedipus, the important thing is that he loves his mother”

~~~

Blessed are those who can give without remembering,

And take without forgetting.

Elizabeth Bibesco

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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