Ray's musings and humor

Archive for July, 2017

Do you want to be happier?

Ray’s Daily

July 18, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

happiness9-aristotle

“It is more fitting for a man to laugh at life than to lament over it.”

Seneca

I expect today will be like most of my days, it will be a good one. I have days loaded with so much happiness that I have little time to fret over things I can’t control. Today I am even going to drop out for a few hours and go to the movies. I find that a good antidote for any troubles I think I may have is a box of popcorn and a light-hearted film.

As we have said before happiness is mainly a choice we make. Someone once said it is not regretting what you don’t have but rather appreciating what you do have. If you want to be happier try this:

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

 

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

 

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

 

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

 

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

 

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”

Christian D. Larson

~~~

“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.”

L.M. Montgomery

~~~

One woman was talking to her friend.

“You should listen to my neighbor,” she says. “She is always badmouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that’s so rude!”

“Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap, but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?”

~~~

Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way.

~~~

A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. “No problem,” the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power. Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that this is a train and not a plane”

~~~

As long as I can remember, I’ve had amnesia.

~~~

Our parish priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a funeral Mass scheduled for that day.

His brother, of course, agreed.

It was not until the brother was accompanying the casket down the aisle, however, that he realized that he had neglected to ask the gender of the deceased.

This was information that he would need for his remarks during the service.

Thinking quickly, as he approached the first pew where the deceased’s relatives were seated, he nodded toward the casket and whispered to one woman, “Brother or sister?”

“Cousin,” she replied.

~~~

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

“Honey,” he said, “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

~~~

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”

Winston Churchill

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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She is a great role model

Ray’s Daily

July 17, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

you can do it

No one knows what he can do until he tries.

Publilius Syrus

One of the good things that happened to me recently was hearing from an old friend who I only met in person a few times years ago but who has continued to be a contact via e-mail. My friend is one of my heroes. I met her years ago when she was on loan from the US Centers for Disease Control to Ted Turner’s UN Foundation. She facilitated a partnership with the Foundation and Kiwanis International for a multi-million dollar humanitarian project in Africa.

Since then she has done some amazing things in Egypt while working for the World Health Organization and later when she went on to provide global assistance to third world public health organizations. Today she leads the charge by the American Red Cross to control measles and rubella.

What makes her special is that she has never avoided doing the most difficult tasks. I think she could have written the following article that was penned by Angel Chernoff. I have edited it some but you’ll get the idea.

5 Regretful Lies and Excuses Your Mind Likes to Tell You

The mind is a wonderful thing. It’s also a liar and an excuse machine that frequently tries to convince us not to take actions we know are good for us. This ultimately prevents many positive changes from taking place in our lives.

  1. “I can’t do it.” – It seems too difficult at first, so you think you can’t stick to the positive change you’re making. You subconsciously don’t believe in yourself enough to take another step. This is a common lie/excuse that can be countered by looking at the fact that other people no more capable than you have done it. Truth be told, the only person who can tell you “I can’t” is you. If you hear those words echoing in the back of your mind, tune them out.
  2. “They can do it, but that doesn’t apply to me because they have it better than me.” – Just because someone else can, doesn’t mean you can, right? You look for reasons they can do it but you can’t. OK, fine, it’s easy to find excuses: but look at all the other people who have considerable obstacles too who’ve done it.
  3. “It’ll be too hard because I can’t get by without _______.” – Fill in the blank: I need my wine, my cheese, my sweets, my TV shows, my nine hours of sleep, my big house, my fancy wardrobe, etc. These are luxuries we convince ourselves we can’t live without, so we can justify not making positive changes like eating healthier or exercising daily or saving money or simplifying our lives or building a profitable side hustle.
  4. “Life is meant to be easier and enjoyed more.” – Sure, I agree that life should be enjoyed (as many of us do) but the problem is that the idea that life should ALWAYS be easy and enjoyable is used to justify all kinds of lazy behavior. Might as well sit on the couch and scarf down those Twinkies, because hey, life is meant to be enjoyed, right? Nope. You can do without junk food and still enjoy life. You can exercise and enjoy it. You can give up a lot of comfort in your life and not lose a thing. In fact, the path of least resistance is often the path of least reward.
  5. “I can do it later.” – Sure, you can always do it later… but your later self will feel the same exact way. Think about it: Why should your later self be more disciplined than your present self? In fact, because you’re allowing yourself to slack off now, you’re building a habit of procrastination and actually making it less likely that your later self will be more disciplined. Most great things in life don’t happen by chance, they happen by choice. You never know what’s possible until you risk finding out. In the end, there is only one thing that makes your dreams and goals completely impossible to achieve: Your lack of action today.

~~~

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”

Hellen Keller

~~~

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he’d put an end to things by saying boldly, “After our second child, I’ll just have a vasectomy.”

Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, “Well, I hope you’ll love the third one just as if it’s your own.”

~~~

Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders, than from the arguments of its opposers.

William Penn

~~~

David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning.

At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?”

“Not too late, Dad.” she replied nervously.

Dead-panned, her father said, “Then, my precious one, I’ll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car.”

~~~

“An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.”

Laurence J. Peter

~~~

I’ve been feeling down for so long that I finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

I went there, laid on the couch, spilled my guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make me feel better.

The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, he looked up with an _expression of delight and said, “Ummmmm, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It’s very common among losers.”

~~~

When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

Lee Ann Womack

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Don’t Wait

Ray’s Daily

July 14, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

be-yourself

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

e.e. cummings

I know many talented people, I bet you do too. The other day I had breakfast with one who is especially gifted. He is creative and is skilled in the use of language. That’s the good news, the bad news is that he does not share his gifts with others.

My friend while being a skilled writer has let his concern for how his works would be accepted has actually kept much of his work to himself. He also is unhappy that he lets his concerns keep us from enjoying what he creates. I know other writers not nearly as talented who never hold back. The sad part is he will never know how much we would appreciate his works if he would just let us see them.

When I read the following article written by Marc Chernoff I thought of my friend. There is still hope that he will break freeof his fears, I just he finds the courage to do it one day.

5 Choices You Will Regret in 5 Years (or Sooner)

“If only…” These two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language. Here are five choices that ultimately lead to this phrase of regret, and how to elude them:

Wearing a mask to impress others. – If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress people. Let them be impressed by how you deal with your imperfections.

Keeping negative company. – Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you. Don’t let them get to you. They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun. When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.

Settling for less than you deserve. – Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to fight for what you deserve. Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before. Don’t settle.

Endlessly waiting until tomorrow. – The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do. But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do. And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t.

Being lazy and wishy-washy. – The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something. So stop daydreaming and start DOING. Develop a backbone, not a wishbone. It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now; the somebody the world needs is YOU.

Next steps…

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. At the end of it, let there be no excuses, no explanations, and no regrets. You can make adjustments starting NOW that will help you feel better, think more clearly, and live a life free of regrets.

~~~

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.

Raymond Hull

~~~

Senior citizens, good news!

Of memory, hearing, all the faculties, the last to leave us is sexual desire and the ability to make love. That means that long after we’re wearing bifocals and hearing aids, we’ll be making love. We just won’t remember with whom.

~~~

I believe with all my heart that civilization has produced nothing finer than a man or woman who thinks and practices true tolerance.

Frank Knox

~~~

An investment banker was on the pier of a small coastal village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. His boat was full of beautiful yellow tuna. The banker complimented the fisherman on his catch, asking how long it took to catch. The fisherman replied “only a short time.” The banker asked why not stay out and catch more. The fisherman replied, “I’ve enough fish to feed my family.”

The banker then asked what did the fisherman do with the rest of his time, and he replied, “I will sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening, sip wine with my friends, play my guitar, … I have a full and busy life.”

The banker was not impressed. “I have a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat and from those increased proceeds you could buy several boats and soon have a fleet. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you could control production, processing and distribution by building your own cannery. You could leave this small coastal village and move to the city then to New York where you could run your expanding enterprise.”

The fisherman asked, “How long will this take?”

The banker said, “Ten to 20 years. Then you would announce an IPO and sell your stock to the public, making millions and millions.”

“But what then?”

“Ah, now you get to the best part”, said the banker smiling. “You could retire to a small coastal village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings, sip wine and play your guitar with your friends”.

~~~

I sat there waiting for my doctor’s partner to make her way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history. After she finished all 17 pages, she looked at me and said, “You look better in person than you do on paper.”

~~~

She said: Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.

~~~

A customer called the airline’s reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card. The reservation specialist asked him,

“Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?”

The customer carefully replied, “V-I-S-A.”

~~~

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.

Shirley MacLaine

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Don’t tell me if you are in a bad mood

Ray’s Daily

July 13, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

good-mood

The most important decision you are going to make is to be in a good mood.

You probably remember that Dale Carnegie was most famous for his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. I was reminded of his book as I remembered that I know the way to loose friends and fail to influence anybody and that is to stay in a bad mood.

If you are like I am you would much rather spend time with the bright side folks than the ones who are the constant fault finders, I have found it is absolutely useless to focus on my woes while spending time complaining to others. The thing I am grateful for is that I get to choose my mood and I always choose to be in a good one. I started to think about moods when I was sent the following article, which I have abridged somewhat.

How to Improve Your Mood Right Now

by Henrik Edberg

Appreciate what you have.

The simplest of my most commonly used pick-me-ups. I take about 2 minutes and sit in silence. I tell myself: OK, I might not feel so good right now, but what can I be grateful for and appreciate in my life? I usually come up with one simple thing like:

My tasty food.

My health.

That I have a roof.

That one thing opens up my mind. It redirects my thoughts from the negativity.

Then I build upon that one thing. I make mental jumps from the roof, to the warmth in our home, to the clean water in the glass beside my computer, to that I can work from home as the rain pours outside.

This changes my mood to a happier, warmer and more open one.

Act as you would like to feel.

Emotions work backwards too. So if I want to become more positive or enthusiastic then I act in the manner of a person who is positive or enthusiastic. I might not feel like it. But I do it as best as I can anyway. I may for example:

Think of the task I have in front of me as something exciting and fun.

Answer some emails or talk to someone in a positive and enthusiastic manner.

Assume rapport if I feel unmotivated, negative or nervous before some kind of meeting (assuming rapport is to think to myself that I am meeting one of my best friends just before the meeting and that puts me in the right mood and headspace).

Think for a minute and give someone a genuine compliment.

Here’s a fun one I use quite often and that will not only lift my own mood. Spend 1 minute on coming up with something you really and genuinely appreciate about someone in your life that is in the same room as you at some point during the day. Then tell him or her the genuine compliment you have come up with.

She or he will be happy. You’ll feel good about yourself and get positive feelings too from the now smiling, happy and complimented person. And so the mood for the both of you is changed for the better.

~~~

At first, I only laughed at myself. Then I noticed that life itself is amusing. I’ve been in a generally good mood ever since.

Marilyn Vos Savant

~~~

Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans

  1. After your humans give you a bath, DON’T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it’s right before your human’s bedtime.
  2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused.(Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
  3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they’re talking about.
  4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go ‘pee’, sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
  5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go ‘poo’. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
  6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.
  7. Make your own rules. Don’t always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
  8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don’t greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don’t reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).
  9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.
  10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning business. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)

~~~

“In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.”

Chuck Reid

~~~

A woman called to make reservations, “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York”

The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”

“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer.

After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, Ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.

The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”

The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?”

“That’s it! I knew it was a big animal!”

~~~

I travel light. I think the most important thing is to be in a good mood and enjoy life, wherever you are.

Diane Von Furstenberg

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Make someone’s day

Ray’s Daily

July 12, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

we-care-button

“I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.”

Pablo Casals

My favorite people are those folks who truly care about others, I have been lucky enough to be able to spend time with many truly kind people. It has not just been the folks I have spent time with ithe Salvation Army, Kiwanis International, UNICEF and other organizations, it has just as often been time spent with someone who demonstrates their humanity by what they do every day.

I have come to believe that it is not title or wealth that makes someone special it is there concern for others. I have found that acts of kindness and caring provide folks a personal level of satisfaction that is not found in more materialistic pursuits. And you know what? Even the smallest caring action can make a big difference. Here is a story that provides a good example of what we all can do,

Make Someone’s Day!

I was sitting at the bar of a local restaurant having lunch and taking a break from the daily grind, sitting there thinking about how tough I had it lately and how I was sick of what I was doing. I own a landscape company and never felt I made a difference in people’s lives.

As I sat there feeling sorry for myself, a pretty girl who looked about 25 walked in and sat down in a booth waiting for her friend. It didn’t take long before I saw she was trying to stay hidden in a way from other people’s gazes and my heart sank. You could see her hair was falling out and, at such a young age, she was receiving chemo.

I sat there watching her trying to remain composed and she was having a tough time of it. I ached for her, imagining what it must be like to go through this and yet I know some of her pain.

I needed to get a message of hope to this girl but how? What could I do?

Then it hit me! I called over her waitress and explained that I wanted to buy the girl and her friend’s lunch but I also told her you can’t tell her it was me, it had to remain anonymous. In doing so, I handed her a note to give to the girl when she told her that her tab was paid.

The note read as follows:

“Someone today thought you were beautiful, someone today thought your smile glowed with excitement, someone today thought your eyes lit up the world, someone today cared and wanted you to know this. Enjoy the rest of your day, pretty young lady”.

About 15 minutes later the young girl asked for her check and I watched as she was told it was paid for. She asked why? Who? What for? The waitress simply handed her the note and informed her that the gentleman who did it left, as to keep me anonymous.

I watched as she slowly read the note. Her eyes teared up, for only a moment, and then came the smile! A huge, beautiful, hopeful smile! She lit up the room and then sat up straight, not caring who saw her. Her friend also beamed, not for what was done but because her friend was feeling beautiful again.

It’s not how we look or what we have, it’s not our houses or how many cars we have, nor is it how much money we can earn. No, it isn’t. You see it’s all about how much we care and what we do, even if it’s making someone feel pretty only for a moment.

Yes, lunch cost only a few dollars but you see the wonderful part, the magic was free.

Make a difference today in just one life; it’s free.

~~~

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

~~~

Two smart fellows were in an English pub. They called the publican over and asked him to settle an argument.

‘Are there two pints in a quart or four?”, asked one.

“There be two pints in a quart, confirmed the publican.

They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.

“Two pints please, miss, and they are on the house.”

The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous so one of the fellows called out to the publican at the other end of the bar, “You did say two pints, didn’t you?”

“That’s right, he called back, two pints.”

~~~

Friendship is like a bank account. You can’t continue to draw on it without making deposits.

~~~

A sailor, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby grave. The sailor walked up to the man and asked, “When do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?”

The old Chinese man replied with a smile, “Same time your friend comes up to smell the flowers.”

~~~

The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.

~~~

Six Jewish gentlemen were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when one of them loses $500 on a single hand and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, they complete the hand standing up. But who is going to tell the wife? They draw straws, and Goldberg, always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse than it is. Goldberg says “Gentlemen! I’m the most discreet guy you will ever meet. Discretion is mine middle name. Leave it to me.” So Goldberg goes to the apartment, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants.

“Your husband just lost $500 at poker,” he says.

She hollers back, “HE SHOULD ONLY DROP DEAD!”

Goldberg replies, “From your mouth to God’s ears.

~~~

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” -Steven Seagal

~~~

The teacher asked the children in the Sunday School class, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?”

“NO”! the children all answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven”?

Again, the answer was “NO”!

“Well,” the teacher continued, “then how can I get to Heaven?” In the back of the room, a 5 year old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead.

~~~

You don’t need special powers to help others all you need is will and heart to do so.

Anurag Prakash

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

So, how are you doing?

Ray’s Daily

July 11, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

positive

“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.”

Germany Kent

I often have difficulty when I am asked about my health. The choices are usually poor, fair, good, excellent, with some times more choices. My problem is that even though I have COPD, a brain aneurism, a leaky heart valve, sleep apnea, diabetes, cardiac arrhythmia requiring a pacemaker, arthritis and few other maladies people don’t understand when I report I am in relatively good health. True, I have some physical limitations that keep me from doing everything I would like to do, but I am able to do enough.

My Doctors have operated on me, medicated me and done what is necessary to keep me functional. And my mind seems to still be working. True I have had a few near death experiences but I survived and recovered.

So while those who don’t know me think I am in poor health I know I am really doing pretty well. I think part of the reason I feel as good as I do is because of a positive outlook, Here are excerpts from a New York Times article that helps explain why I feel the way I do.

A Positive Outlook May Be Good for Your Health

By JANE E. BRODY

  • “Look on the sunny side of life.”
  • “Turn your face toward the sun, and the shadows will fall behind you.”
  • “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”
  • “See the glass as half-full, not half-empty.”

Researchers are finding that thoughts like these, the hallmarks of people sometimes called “cockeyed optimists,” can do far more than raise one’s spirits. They may actually improve health and extend life.

Judith T. Moskowitz, a professor of medical social sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, developed a set of eight skills to help foster positive emotions. In earlier research at the University of California, San Francisco, she and colleagues found that people with new diagnoses of H.I.V. infection who practiced these skills carried a lower load of the virus, were more likely to take their medication correctly, and were less likely to need antidepressants to help them cope with their illness.

An important goal of the training is to help people feel happy, calm and satisfied in the midst of a health crisis. Improvements in their health and longevity are a bonus. Each participant is encouraged to learn at least three of the eight skills and practice one or more each day. The eight skills are:

■ Recognize a positive event each day.

■ Savor that event and log it in a journal or tell someone about it.

■ Start a daily gratitude journal.

■ List a personal strength and note how you used it.

■ Report a relatively minor stress and list ways to reappraise the event positively.

■ Recognize and practice small acts of kindness daily.

■ Practice mindfulness, focusing on the here and now rather than the past or future.

Dr. Moskowitz said she was inspired by observations that people with AIDS, Type 2 diabetes and other chronic illnesses lived longer if they demonstrated positive emotions.

~~~

“There’s no better time than the present to be better than we were yesterday.”

Gary Kelley

~~~

He said: My kid brother, a strict vegetarian, travels abroad for long periods on business. When he got back from Europe one time, he called our parents’ home and told Dad he was about to pay them an unexpected visit. When Dad hung up the phone, he called to my mother. “The prodigal son is returning! Kill the fatted zucchini!”

~~~

Men always want to be a woman’s first love.

Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man’s last romance.

Oscar Wilde

~~~

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.”

“Excuse me?” the accountant said.

“I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.”

“I see,” the accountant said. “And how much does the job pay?”

“I’ll start you at eighty thousand.”

“Eighty thousand dollars!” the accountant exclaimed. “How can such a small business afford a sum like that?”

“That,” the owner said, “is your first worry.”

~~~

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

~~~

The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus.

The father, though late for work, agreed to drive her if she’d direct him to the school.

They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes – but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home.

The father asked his daughter why she’d led him around in such a circle.

The child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It’s the only way I know.”

~~~

Hors D’oeuvres — A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.

~~~

The relatives of the family’s rich dowager gathered for the reading of her will after her long awaited death.

“Being of sound mind,” read the lawyer, “I spent every last cent before I died.”

~~~

The teacher has listed things she’d like to write on a student’s report card **

  1. Since my last report, the student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
  2. I would not allow this student to breed.
  3. This student has delusions of adequacy.
  4. The student sets low personal standards and then occasionally fails to achieve them.
  5. Student has been working with glue too much.
  6. When the student’s IQ reaches 50, he/she should sell.
  7. Student has a photogenic memory but the lens cover is glued on.
  8. The ‘Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.’
  9. If you give the student a penny for his/her thoughts, you would get change.
  10. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

~~~

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

~~~

A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper. “Where does poo come from?” she asks. The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says:

“Well you know we just ate breakfast?”

“Yes,” answers the girl.

“Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo.”

The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks:

“And Tigger?”

~~~

A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.

-Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

The secret is a positive attitude

Ray’s Daily

July 10, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

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“It`s not how old you are, it`s how you are old.”

Jules Renard

I was at the market the other day and the cashier told me about her parents, both in their nineties, who have been married for almost 70 years. Both are suffering from health loss. One with failing eyesight the other with hearing loss. She went on to let me know that her parents had the same characteristics as her grandmother who lived to be one hundred and ten years old, that is a positive outlook on life.

What she said reminded me of what I believe is the secret to graceful aging and that is a positive attitude. Those folks who slip into depression or even just the blahs often lose the ability to enjoy their lives, sometimes even to the point that their health suffers.

After listening to my new friend at the market I read an article published by TIME magazine that had some things I found worth thinking about. Here are a few excerpts that I would like to share with you today. The article was 12 Habits That Sabotage Your Mental Health written by Carey Rossi.

Hang on to your happiness

     Depression is usually brought on by factors beyond our control—the death of a loved one, a job loss, or financial troubles. But the small choices you make every day may also affect your mood more than you may realize. Your social media habits, exercise routine, and even the way you walk may be sucking the happiness out of your day, and you may not even know it. Luckily, these behaviors can be changed.

     Get happy now: Lift your chin up and roll your shoulders back to keep your outlook on the positive side.

     You don’t exercise, Consider this: If you become more active three times a week, your risk of being depressed decreases 19%, according to a new study in JAMA Psychiatry. After following more than 11,000 people born in 1958 up until the age of 50, and recording depressive symptoms and levels of physical activity at regular intervals, University College London researchers found a correlation between physical activity and depression. People who were depressed were less likely to be active, while those who were active were less likely to be depressed. In fact, for every time they were active, depression risk decreased 6%.

     Get happy now: Just get out and move. It doesn’t need to be for long—walking to errands if possible, taking the stairs—but any activity will help keep your mind moving.

     You procrastinate.     Think about a task you’ve been putting off. If the reason is because it’s boring or you just don’t feel like doing it, well, we can’t help you there. But if you’re avoiding the task because it makes you anxious or because you’re afraid of failing, then procrastinating just makes completing it more nerve-wracking.

     Get happy now: Before you finally tackle your problem head-on, do something that helps you ease stress: listen to music, go for a run, Leonard suggests engaging in an activity that helps disintegrate the anxiety. This way you can insert a bit of fun into it, instead of stress.

     You take life too seriously     You trip on a crack in the sidewalk, and instead of shrugging it off, you cower with embarrassment. If that sounds like you, it’s time to find some ways to laugh more. Leonard says. “Laughter is the fast medicine for anxiety and depression.”

     Get happy now: Seek out humor every day. Watch a funny TV show, listen to the Laugh USA channel on SiriusXM Radio, or spend time with friends who make you smile. You could even try volunteering with kids—they really do say the darndest things.

~~~

“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

The History of Medicine:

Year 0 – Here, eat this root.

1000 – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

1850 – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

1940 – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

1985 – That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

2017 – That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

~~~

Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.

~~~

Tips from Martha Stewart That Didn’t Work-

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

~~~

I always wanted to be a procrastinator… never got around to it.

~~~

Look what she has on her T-shirts this summer:

So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

God Made Us Sisters – Prozac Made Us Friends

At My Age, I’ve Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All . . . I Just Can’t Remember It All

Don’t Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen

Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It’ll Be a Great Trade.

~~~

Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him.

Mark Twain

~~~

Two old ladies sat on a bench talking. One said to the other, “Good heavns! Who did your hair? It looks like a wig!”

The second lady replied, “It is a wig.”

“Really?” exclaimed the first lady, “You could never tell!”

~~~

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent–that is to triumph over old age.

Thomas Bailey Aldrich

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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