Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

July 5, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

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Well done is better than well said.

Benjamin Franklin

Good morning all, I hope you had a great weekend and if in the US, a great Independence Day holiday. For some the long weekend can provide the spring board that can be used to do something good for themselves. Of course, that is if they are willing to get started doing it.

It is too bad that so many of us seem to lack the confidence in ourselves to try to make our lives better. I was lucky enough when I was young to have people provide me assignments that I was unsure I could handle only to find out I could. The one thing I did learn was it never gets better if you never start.

I was glad that there were those who knew I could do more even when I didn’t. As time went by I learned that I could do some good, all I had to do was do it. And you know what you can too. Here is some good advice if you need motivation.

Knock the “t” Off of “Can’t”

by: Neil Eskelin

 Recently I took a sheet of paper and divided it into two columns: “Yes People,” and “No People.” Then I thought about individuals I knew and wrote their names in the appropriate column. What a shock it was to see the length of the “No” list.

These were the people who heard someone say, “You can’t do that!” and they believed it. Now they were saying, “It can’t be done!” and their negativity was affecting the lives of others.

If your friends made such a list right now, under which heading would they write your name? Do they see you as enthusiastic, affirmative and optimistic? Or do they believe you see more problems than solutions?

It’s time to knock the “t” off the “can’t.” I like the words of author Frank Hughes: “I will say this about being an optimist; even when things don’t turn out well, you are certain they will get better.”

You are only a decision away from responding with hope instead of fear, with encouragement instead of criticism, with belief instead of despair. It’s your choice!

~~~

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Thomas A. Edison

~~~

What Never Say To a Woman in a Fight

“Don’t you have some laundry to do or something?”

“Ohh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off.”

“Wait a minute. I get it. What time of the month is it?

“You sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?”

“Whoa, time out honey. Football is on.”

“Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this morning.”

“Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?”

“Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain’t loaded.”

~~~

The best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

William Wordsworth

~~~

A man and woman are getting all snuggly in bed. The passion is heating up but then the lady stops and says, “I don’t feel like it. I just want you to hold me.”

The guy says, “WHAT?”

The lady explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.

He realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the man takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.

She can’t decide. He tells his woman to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each, then they go to the Jewelery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.

The lady is so excited. She thinks her guy has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet.

He says, “You don’t even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let’s get it.”

The woman is jumping up and down so excited she can not even believe what is going on.

She says “I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register.”

The man stops and says, “No, I don’t feel like buying all this stuff now.”

The woman’s face goes blank.

He continues, “I just wanted you to hold this stuff for a while.”

The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode when the guy says, “You need to be in tune with my financial needs as a man!”

~~~

“Happiness is like a kiss…you must share it to enjoy it.”

~~~

Jill: I don’t know if there are any nice men out there, Mary!

Mary: Of course, there are! You’ll meet somebody!

Jill: Yeah? When? When I’m in my “golden years”?

Mary: Maybe then your hearts will beat as one.

Jill: Yeah, right as long as we synchronize our pacemakers!

~~~

Within two years women will be able to get breast enhancement done on their lunch hour.

You get turned down for a raise in the morning. In the afternoon you can go in and try again.

~~~

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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