Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

June 7, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

IF-IT-ISTO-BEITS-UPTO-ME

No one will improve your lot if you do not yourself.

Bertolt Brecht

Listening to all the heated discussions going on these days it seems like too many of us are quick to blame someone else for what we don’t like about our world. I seldom hear folks say that they might be somewhat responsible for what makes them unhappy.

Many who are quick to criticize our elected officials didn’t vote or even worse voted without any in depth knowledge of the candidates. Some of us are unhappy with our jobs, our neighborhood, or our personal relationships yet do little to make any changes, seemingly satisfied with just complaining.

In my view if you want something better go for it, don’t wait for someone else to make your situation better. It is your life and you are in charge. Here is a reminder that it is up to us.

You Create Your Reality

Whatever we give comes back to us. We should therefore be very careful about our thoughts and actions as they have a lasting influence on the pattern of our lives.

People blame others for what happens to them. Little do they know that if anyone is to be blamed it is the person himself who made it happen to himself!

Wisdom is when something happens to you. Instead of looking around for excuses and placing the blame on others, look into yourself and ask yourself why you made it happen? Why you invited those conditions and circumstances into your life?

Perhaps it was because you wanted to learn something out of that experience. Perhaps you wanted to strengthen some aspect of your personality or resolve some long troubling relationship.

When you start accepting responsibility for the events of your life, you begin to learn more about yourself, your inner thoughts, your fears and aspirations.

Out of this awareness you also start expanding your consciousness. Become aware of your thought processes and through this awareness you finally learn to change the conditions of your life.

Author Unknown

~~~

When we have begun to take charge of our lives, to own ourselves, there is no longer any need to ask permission of someone.

George O’Neil

~~~

A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing.   The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”

“Naw, ma fren, I ain’t got none of dem, no. Dese here are my pet fish.”

“Pet fish?”

“Ya. Avery night I take dese here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim ’round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home.”

“That’s a bunch of hooey! Fish can’t do that!”

The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “It’s de truth ma’ fren. I’ll show you. It really works.”

“Okay, I’ve GOT to see this!”

The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, “Well?”

“Well, what?” Said the Cajun.

“When are you going to call them back?”

“Call who back?”

“The FISH!”

“What fish?”

~~~

We face the question whether a still higher “standard of living” is worth its cost in things natural, wild, and free.

Aldo Leopold

~~~

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer (CEO) of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first and was asked a long list of questions, endiing with. . .”How much is two plus two?”

The engineer excused himself and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing. . .”Four!”

The physicist was interviewed next and was asked the same questions. Again, the last question was. . .”How much is two plus two?”

Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After consulting with the United States Bureau of Standards and making many calculations, he also announced. . .”Four!”

The lawyer was interviewed last, and again…. the final question was “How much is two plus two?”

The lawyer draws all the shades in the room, looks outside to see if anyone is there, checks the telephone for listening devices, and finally whispers. . .       “How much do you want it to be?”

~~~

Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it.

Maimonides

~~~

New Drugs For Women

D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

M O M M A’S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed ! before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

B U Y A G R A Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to drop the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

~~~

Never get into a pissing contest with a skunk.

~~~

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there’s any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he’s in luck, there’s a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.

The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, “What the heck did you put on this pizza?”

The delivery man bows deeply and says, “We put on the pizza what you ordered: pepper only.”

~~~

Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.

Les Brown

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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