Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

May 31, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Happiness

All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within.

Horace Friess

If you are like I am you know someone who spreads warmth wherever they go. I feel blessed that I have met many such folks through the years. They seem to be able to see the sun over the horizon on even the darkest of days.

I have a friend who has worked through many burdens that would take most people down leaving only pain and ill will in their wake. But my friend never succumbs to despair and I think she thrives on the positive reflection she gets from other’s that benefit from her goodwill. I think part of her secret is that she cares for others as much as she cares for herself and she lets them know that she does.

The following poem reminded me of how she inspires others and reminds me that I too can let others know how important they are to me.

     Just One

Poet Unknown

One song can spark a moment,

One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest,

One bird can herald spring.

 

One smile begins a friendship,

One handclasp lifts a soul.

One star can guide a ship at sea,

One word can frame the goal

 

One vote can change a nation,

One sunbeam lights a room

One candle wipes out darkness,

One laugh will conquer gloom.

 

One step must start each journey.

One word must start each prayer.

One hope will raise our spirits,

One touch can show you care.

 

One voice can speak with wisdom,

One heart can know what’s true,

 

One life can make a difference,

You see, it’s up to you!

~~~

Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.

Author Unknown

~~~

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.”

The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.”

The next day there was a hailstorm. “This Indian is incredible,” said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather for the remaining of the shoot. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn’t show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him. “I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I’m depending on you. What will the weather be like?”

The Indian shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know,” he said, “My radio is broken.”

~~~

“I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.”

Steven Wright

~~~

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me?  Stay!”

The driver of a nearby car gave me a strange look and said.  “Why don’t you just put it in park?”

~~~

I doubt, therefore I might be.

~~~

Women’s Dictionary

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman suddenly becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything  up, but, he, “made the dinner.”

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

~~~

Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you: you must acquire it.

Sudie Back

~~~

She said: I was scheduled to fly from Michigan to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions.

“Has anyone given you any packages that you didn’t pack yourself?” he asked. I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son.

He looked at me very carefully and asked:

“Does she like you?”

~~~

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.”

Franklin P. Jones

~~~

My cousin, a perpetual bachelor, owned one of the biggest and fastest-growing businesses in Miami, a furniture store. I convinced him that he needed to take a trip to Italy to visit a manufacturer and check out the merchandise himself. And maybe he could meet an available young Italian women.

As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady. She only spoke Italian and he only spoke English–neither understood a word the other spoke. So he took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi. She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a ride in the park. Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded. So they went to dinner.

After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted. They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening. It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

He was dumbfounded. To this day he says that he’s never been able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.

~~~

She said: All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, fattening, OR married to others.

~~~

When Brandon’s mother found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But Little Brandon overheard some of his parents’ private conversations.

One day, when Brandon and his mother were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. “Yes!” Brandon answered, “and I know what we’re gonna name it, too. If it’s a girl, we’re going to call her Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!”

~~~

A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity into smiles.

Washington Irving

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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