Ray's musings and humor

Thanks my friends

Ray’s Daily

May 26, 2017



Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

Andy Rooney

It was another one of those days yesterday, some really good things and then a not so good thing. The good news was I got e-mail from a dear UNICEF friend who is currently based in Africa. She was the primary public health nutritionist that I worked with during my days at Kiwanis International. We became good friends and have stayed in contact with each other for all the years since. She is highly regarded globally and continues to help make the world a better place for children.

There were other former colleagues who responded to yesterday’s Daily about Sir Roger Moore. There messages brought back a lot of fond memories of the times we had together.

The bad news was the discovery that our central air-conditioning unit has passed on. The replacement unit will be installed later today and will only cost twice as much as we paid for our first new car a long time ago. So instead of a vacation we will cool it at home.

As you know I love hearing from old friends and I often get messages from an old UNIVAC firend who lives in Minnesota. Here in part is what he sent the other day.


Written by Andy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so much with so few words.

I’ve learned….That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned …..That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve learned…..That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned….That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned….That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned….That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned….That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned…..That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned….That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am..

I’ve learned….That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned…   That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned….That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned… That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned…..That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned….That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned….That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.


I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.

Andy Rooney


“How come you’re late?” asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar. “It was awful,” she explained. “I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course. “What did you do?” asked the bartender.

“I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!”


The American reading his Sunday paper in a state of lazy collapse is perhaps the most perfect symbol of the triumph of quantity over quality…. Whole forests are being ground into pulp daily to minister to our triviality.

Irving Babbitt


A couple’s happily married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in their household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Eventually, the old girl passed away.

On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confesses to his wife, “Darling, if I didn’t love you so much , I don’t think I would of have put up with having your Aunt Emma in our house all those years!”

His wife looked at him aghast.

“Huh? My Aunt Emma!?” she cried. “I thought she was *your* Aunt Emma!”


Fancy Restaurant — One that serves cold soup on purpose.


A priest was preparing a dying man for his ‘long day’s journey into night’. Whispering firmly, the priest says, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil.”

The dying man says nothing.

The priest repeats his order again.

Still, the dying man says nothing.

The priest asks, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”

The dying man replies, “Until I know exactly where I’m headed, I don’t think it’s such a good idea to aggravate anybody.”


“I’ll believe in reincarnation in my next life.”


Bryant, a youngster about four years old, loved having ice cream after dinner every evening. He would sit on his mother’s lap and have a small bowl for dessert. Unfortunately, he developed the habit of licking the bowl afterwards to “make sure he got it all”.This went on for a while, much to his mother’s chagrin. Finally, trying to tactfully hint that it was not such a great idea, she said, “You know, when I was your age, my mother said that licking my dish was a VERY impolite thing to do.”

Bryant thought a minute, and then responded, “Well you can do it now if you like, because I don’t mind at ALL!”


Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.


After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had backed the truck up to our garage door so that we could start loading all of the boxes. Just then one of our neighbors came walking across the lawn carrying a plate full of muffins.

“Isn’t that thoughtful,” my husband said to me. “They must have realized that we packed our kitchen stuff.”

The neighbor stuck out his hand and boomed, “Welcome to the neighborhood!”


“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.”

Andy Rooney


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




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