Monday April 10, 2017
The spirit is the true self. The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure.
Marcus Tullius Cicero
I had a great weekend and I hope you did as well. I completed my income taxes and even had some money left after I wrote the checks for what I owed.
The highlight though was learning that my granddaughter Jorden was named an USA Gymnastics Collegiate All-America first team member for her all around and balance beam performance during this year’s USA Gymnastics Collegiate National Championships.
Jorden Mitchell Excels
SEATTLE, Wash. – Senior Jorden Mitchell registered the fifth highest all-around total on the day, and Brown University gymnastics came in fifth place with a 192.225 during Team Preliminary Session No. 2 at the 2017 USA Gymnastics Collegiate National Championships on Friday night.
At Seattle Pacific University’s Brougham Pavilion, the Bears – making their fifth straight team appearance at USAGs – trailed Lindenwood (195.100), Texas Woman’s University (194.250), Seattle Pacific (193.775), and Yale (192.975) in their preliminary session.
Mitchell (Indianapolis, Ind.) advanced to the Individual Event Finals on Sunday at 4:00 p.m. ET as she tied for third place on beam with a 9.775. The top-five finishers on each event in the preliminary sessions advance to the individual finals and earn First Team USAG All-America honors. Alternates garner Second Team USAG All-America laurels.
In the all-around, Mitchell posted the top score in the Bears’ prelim and the fifth-highest score between the two sessions with a 38.825. The top eight all-around finishers between the two prelims gain First Team USAG All-America honors while the ninth and 10th place finishers take home Second Team USAG All-America accolades.
One who is persistent will excel.
A beautiful young blonde woman was appearing in court to face a public disorder charge. When her name was called out in the court foyer, she brushed her hair, checked her make-up, took a deep breath, and walked into the court and took to the witness stand. The charges were read out, and she was asked how she pleaded.
“Not guilty,” the blonde answered emphatically.
The prosecution council then approached the blond and said, “Is it true that on the 11th of December, last year, you committed acts of gross indecency with a one-legged dwarf who was waving a union jack on the roof of a car, whilst traveling at over 100 mph through the center of London, in a blizzard and you were totally nude?”
The blonde composed herself, looked straight at the prosecution council and calmly said, “What was the date again?”
Speak softly and sweetly; later you may have to eat your words.
IMPORTANT THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT LIFE FROM MY CAT
* Life is hard and then you nap.
* Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
* Variety is the spice of life: One day ignore people, the next day annoy them and play with them when they’re busy.
* When in doubt, cop an attitude.
* Climb your way to the top – that’s why the drapes are there.
* Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone’s face.
* Make your mark in the world – or at least spray in each corner.
* When you go out into the world, always remember, being placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege.
* Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, “I care.”
Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions.
You may have a heart of gold – but so does a hard-boiled egg.
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of a thunderstorm and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh butter fat.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.
………….So far I have been afraid to go down the toilet paper aisle.
Give some women an inch, and they’ll rearrange or redecorate it.
Grandpa was always going on about the good old days and the lower cost of living, in particular. “When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store and I’d get a salami, two pints of milk, six oranges, two loaves of bread, a magazine and some new blue jeans all for a dollar!”
Then Grandpa said sadly, “You can’t do that anymore. They got those video cameras everywhere you look.”
Talk doesn’t cook rice.
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form…
The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous. The pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, “Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?” there was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, “Honey, just put down ‘Yes’ and be done with it!”
My Dad has a sure way to keep my Mom from buying an outfit…
When she tries it on, he says, “I love that middle-aged look it gives you.”
Paddy was an inveterate drunkard. The priest met him one day, and gave him a strong lecture about drink.
He said, “If you continue drinking as you do, you’ll gradually get smaller and smaller, and eventually you’ll turn into a mouse.”
This frightened the life out of Paddy. He went home that night, and said to his wife, “Bridget….if you should notice me getting smaller and smaller, will ye kill that blasted cat?”
Winners excel because of their ability to overcome obstacles others consider as impossible.
Hermann J Steinherr
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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