Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

April 7, 2017

happily-ever-after

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

J.K. Rowling

I had coffee with a friend this morning where we talked about what were we going to day in the days still left to us. He is more than 10 years younger than I am but sees himself as one of the old guys. He like so many of us has been so busy doing the things he always did that he did not have much time to enjoy much else. As he looks ahead he has yet to decide what he might do to fill the days left that are waiting to be lived. I think what happens to some of us is that we have been so structured for so long that we find it difficult to step out of where we are to get to where we can find a better life.

Some years ago I stumbled across words of wisdom offered be an elderly lady that is worth applying, and the best news of all is that you don’t have to wait until her age to follow her advice. The article was adapted by Don Herold.

I Would Pick More Daisies

When the late Nadine Stair of Louisville, Kentucky, was 85 years old, she was asked what she would do if she had her life to live over again.

“I’d make more mistakes next time,” she said. “I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been on this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

“You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, and a raincoat. If I had to do it over again, I would travel lighter than I have.

“If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds and I would pick more daisies.”

~~~

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Oscar Wilde

~~~

The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her.

She pushed him away. “Maybe your other models let you kiss them,” she said.

“I’ve never tried to kiss a model before,” he swore.

“Really?” she said, softening, “How many models have there been?”

“Four,” he replied, “A jug, two apples, and a vase.”

~~~

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

~~~

One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

Her daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilts.” Needless to say, Mom was perplexed.

Later in the day, the Pastor stopped by for tea. Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson happened to be about.

He said, “Be not afraid, Thy comforter is coming.”

~~~

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

~~~

Linda: What’s that you’re reading?

Jill: A diary.

Linda: What’s in it?

Jill: I can’t tell you that. A diary is a highly personal and confidential affair, It has important secret dreams and secret yearnings. It’s private. It’s not meant to be shared lightly with other people. And besides, this diary belongs to Margaret.

~~~

Old age, to the unlearned, is winter; to the learned, it’s harvest time.

Yiddish saying

~~~

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. When they made it to the bedroom, they saw a big brass gong next to the bed.

“What’s a big brass gong doing in your bedroom?” one of the guests asked.

“It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the drunk replied.

“A talking clock? Seriously?” asked his astonished friend. “Yup,” replied the drunk.

“How’s it work?” the friend asked, squinting at it.

“Watch,” the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering whack, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “You idiot! It’s ten past three in the morning!”

~~~

Good teachers are the ones who can challenge young minds without losing their own.

~~~

An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company.

The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly.

To show just “how” the marketing department earns their keep, they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game:

“The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 2004 Softball Season, we came in 2nd place, having lost but one game all year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season, as they won only one game.”

~~~

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.

John Ruskin

~~~

Four-year-old Little Johnny asked, “Mummy, where do babies come from?

“The stork, dear.” replied Johnny’s Mom.

“Mummy, who keeps bad people from robbing our house?” Asked Little Johnny.

Johnny’s mother answer, “The police, dear.”

“Mummy, if our house was on fire, who would save us?”

“The fire department, dear.”

“Mummy, where does food come from?”

“Farmers, dear.”

“Mummy?”

“Yes, dear?”

“What do we need Daddy for?”

~~~

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

Dr. Seuss

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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