Ray's musings and humor

 

Ray’s Daily

April 6, 2017

 

“Many fine things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow”

iStock_000005304585XSmall-tomorrow-sign1

I decided to take a break from working on my income taxes. I know that I can’t procrastinate much longer for I will run out of the time needed to finish before the deadline. Depending on tomorrows is OK if the tomorrow becomes an action filled today. I like too many others sometimes fall into the trap that there are so many tomorrows ahead that waiting another day won’t make that much difference and of course it really does. So if you don’t mind I will finish up today’s Daily and get back to my taxes.

He is something I may have sent you before, I think it is appropriate for my day so I thought I share it with you.

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.

Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

 

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,

Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.

All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed.

We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

 

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.

With its possible adversities, Its burdens,

Its large promise and poor performance.

Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow’s Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,

but it will rise.

Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

This just leaves only one day . . . Today.

Any person can fight the battles of just one day.

It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity’s –

yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.

It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday

and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

Author Unknown

~~~

The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.

Jackson Brown, Jr

~~~

Bobby’s class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Bobby to recite a sentence with a direct object.

Bobby stood and thought, then said, “Teacher, everybody thinks you are beautiful.”

“Why thank you, Bobby,” the teacher said, blushing. “But what is the direct object?”

“A good report card next month,” he replied.

~~~

Self-discipline is when your conscience tells you to do something and you don’t talk back.

-W.K. Hope

~~~

A minister’s young son sat on the floor of his father’s office watching him write a sermon.

“How do you know what to say?” the boy asked.

“Why, God tells me.” his father replied.

“Well, then why do you keep crossing things out?”

~~~

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

~~~

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight.” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams”

~~~

People say that hard work never killed anybody, but did you ever know anybody who rested to death?

Primatutu

~~~

She writes: One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”

“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”

He yelled back, “Detroit Red Wings.”

~~~

Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.

~~~

When Jack Benny’s daughter Joan was married for the first time, the L.A. Times had a headline, “Jack Benny’s Daughter Married in $25,000 Affair.”

The L.A. Examiner’s headline was “Benny Spends $50,000 on Daughter’s Wedding.”

Eddie Cantor woke him up with a phone call to say “Did you read either of the morning papers yet?”

Jack said no.

Cantor said “Well, do yourself a favor and just read The Times. You’ll save $25,000.”

~~~

“Nature gave man two ends — One to sit on and one to think with.

Man’s success or failure is dependent on the one he uses most.”

~~~

Bored? Here’s a way the over-50 set can easily kill off a good half hour:

  1. Place your keys in your right hand.
  2. With your left hand, call a friend and confirm a lunch or dinner date.
  3. Hang up the phone.
  4. Now look for your car keys.

~~~

Is this apisdn umop or am I just standing on my head?

neb

~~~

He said: My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, ‘Sexy Senior Citizen’.

You don’t want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.

~~~

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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