Ray's musings and humor

Live your dream

Ray’s Daily

April 5, 2017

good-news

 

It is another one of those days, more things to do than I am doing so here is Ray’s Daily first published om April 5, 2006.

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.

Les Brown

~~~

Someone sent me the following. After reading it I could not help but wonder how much happiness has been lost by those that are held back by their self-imposed barriers. I also wonder what our world would be like if good people were not so afraid to step out. In my case I have found that the older I get the more I realize just how unimportant convention, approval, and self limitation are to success and happiness.

DON’T EVER STOP DREAMING YOUR DREAMS”

Don’t ever be reluctant to show your feelings when you’re happy, give in to it. When you’re not, live with it.

Don’t ever be afraid to try to make things better — you might be surprised at the results.

Don’t ever take the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Don’t ever feel threatened by the future, take life one day at a time.

Don’t ever feel guilty about the past, what’s done is done. Learn from any mistakes you might have made.

Don’t ever feel that you are alone, there is always somebody there for you to reach out to.

Don’t ever forget that you can achieve so many of the things you can imagine. It’s not as hard as it seems.

Don’t ever stop loving, don’t ever stop believing, don’t ever stop dreaming your dreams!

~~~

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

Oscar Wilde

~~~

A very drunk gent checked into a hotel late one Saturday night. He awoke very ill, and summoned a bellboy to fetch him a bottle of whiskey and a Sunday newspaper. The bellhop was gone a long time.

When he returned, the lush remarked, “It must be hard to buy a bottle in this town on Sunday.”

“There was no trouble with the liquor,” replied the bellboy, “but it’s tough finding a Sunday paper on Tuesday.”

~~~

Women are hard to figure out. They love lingerie and they love garage sales, but they don’t seem to like getting garage-sale lingerie as a gift.

~~~

An old-timer in Maine was approached by a surveying group for the state and informed him though he thought he’d been living in Maine for 70 years, he was actually living in New Hampshire.

“Thank God!!” he exclaimed. “I don’t think I could take another of those Maine winters!”

~~~

Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90 per cent probability you’ll get it wrong.

~~~

Seven Stages of the Married Cold

Stage 1: Sugar Dumpling, I’ve really been worried about my baby girl. That’s a bad sniffle, and there’s no telling about these things with all the strep that’s going around. I’m going to put you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the food’s terrible, but I’m going to bring you dinner every night from Rosini’s. I have it all arranged with the floor supervisor.

Stage 2: Listen, Darling, I don’t like the sound of that cough. I’m going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl just for Papa.

Stage 3: Maybe you’d better lie down, Honey. Nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy. I’ll bring you something. Do we have any canned soup?

Stage 4: Now look, Dear, be sensible. After you’ve fed the kids, and gotten the dishes done, and the floor mopped, you’d better lie down for a while.

Stage 5: Why don’t you take a couple of aspirins?

Stage 6: Why don’t you just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal all evening?

Stage 7: Would you stop coughing on me? Are you trying to give me pneumonia?

~~~

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

~~~

Airport Security alerted an airline crew to keep an eye a blonde passenger who appeared excessively nervous and shifty-eyed. Soon after takeoff, the blonde man called a stewardess to his seat and said, “I have a live grenade in my pocket. I’ll blow up the plane if you do not divert to Cairo.”

The stewardess said, “But, ma’am. This is TWA flight 1219 to Cairo.”

“Oh, no!” replied the blonde passenger, “I got on the wrong plane.”

~~~

A FEW HINTS

Work like you don’t need the money.

Love like you’ve never been hurt.

Dance like nobody’s watching.

Sing like nobody’s listening.

Live like it’s Heaven on Earth.

~~~

A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is…”

“Wait! Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”

~~~

Many men don’t understand the true value of a woman’s love…….until they start paying alimony.

~~~

A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing.

“Can you give me a description of him?” asked the officer.

“He’s short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures,” answered the woman. “Come to think of it, most of him was missing before he was.”

~~~

THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT THE GAME OF LIFE IS THAT WINNING AND LOSING ARE ONLY TEMPORARY. UNLESS YOU QUIT.

~~~

Margaret: “That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-boyfriend.”

Jill: “I know, but I don’t hold any grudges.”

Margaret: “I’m surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her.”

Jill: “Well, I had to swear to him she’s Jennifer Lopez’s double.”

Margaret: “Wow! Is that true?”

Jill: “I wouldn’t lie. She’s twice her weight and twice her age.”

~~~

To understand the heart and mind of a person,

Look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to do.

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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