April 3, 2017
If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.
Lately I have again realized how glad I am that I have learned to live with the idea that good enough is good enough. At my age I don’t have the time it takes to try to make everything perfect, something I was never really able to do anyway. In my experience the effort to make everything perfect is the sure path to procrastination.
A mistake now and then just proves that I am human like most people, In fact I think that the little missteps of some of my friends helps me to understand just how special they are.
So my friends please don’t get bogged down searching for the perfect, come out and join the rest of us. Here is a piece that I got from Henrik Edberg of the Positivity Blog that I think has merit.
It holds you back from actually getting all the way to done with a lot in life. It may hold you back from even trying to do something because you feel you have to do it perfectly. And it tears your self-esteem apart.
So what can you do about it?
Well, two things that have really helped me are:
- Find a balance for yourself and set your own bar.
Instead of setting the bar for yourself – or letting other people set that bar – at an inhuman standard set it at a human level.
We all fail. We all have trouble reaching our goals sometimes. That is OK and very human.
Don’t obey the bar that someone else has set for you. They may have set it out of the goodness of their hearts – or not, to for example maximize profits – but if the old standards do not work for you then it is time to find a better standard for yourself.
So set your bar at a level where you feel motivated but where you do not have to achieve inhuman results to like yourself and to be satisfied.
- Surround yourself with human standards.
Choose to take small steps week by week to rearrange your world so that it becomes more and more supportive of you.
Reduce or cut out media sources that make you feel worse or like you have to live up to perfect standards. Replace them with podcasts, blogs, books etc. filled with optimism and motivation but also kinder and more realistic expectations.
Do the same thing with the people in your life. Spend more time with people who are kind, who like to grow and like living a good life in a balanced, positive and mentally healthy way.
This is your life. You decide. So set and surround yourself with the standards that help you to both do good and to feel good.
The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection.
Ineffective Daily Affirmations. . . .
– All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.
– I am at one with my duality.
– I will strive to live each day as if it were my 40th birthday.
– Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
– I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
– Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”
– False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
– A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
– Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
– Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute…..I’ll find someone.
– Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
– The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
– I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
– Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step — blaming my parents.
– To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I’m giving as much as I’m getting.
As a mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he would behave himself, she says, “Tommy, why do I always have to pay you to be good; why can’t you just be good for nothing like your dad?”
A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. “Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother’s meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it’s just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it’s the one you gave me. But it just didn’t come out right, and I’m so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?”
Her mother replied soothingly, “Well, dear, let’s go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we’ll figure it out.”
“OK,” the bride sniffled. “Well, it starts out, ‘ Take fifty cents worth of ground beef ‘…”
“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”
Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila.”
Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Pedro looked up again and said “Never mind. I found one!
“Kindness is loving people more than they deserve.”
She said: After my husband and I had a huge argument, we ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, on the third day, he asked where one of his shirts was. “Oh,” I said, “So now you’re speaking to me.”
He looked confused, “What are you talking about?”
“Haven’t you noticed I haven’t spoken to you for three days?” I challenged.
“No,” he said, “I just thought we were getting along.”
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
When a customer left his cell phone in a local store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at “Mom” and pushed send.
His mother answered, and I told her what happened.
“Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll take care of it.”
A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was “Mom.”
“Martin,” she said, “you left your cell phone at the convenience store.”
“Healthy striving is self-focused: “How can I improve?”
Perfectionism is other-focused: “What will they think?”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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