Ray's musings and humor

Laugh NOW!

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Charlie Chaplin


I have been publishing the Daily now for almost fifteen years and that amazes me. I guess the old adage that “time flies if you are having fun” applies. Of course in all honesty I too have suffered some pain and anguish but from the very beginning I have tried to use humor as an antidote to minimize the discomfort that comes from some of the things life throws at us.

I have learned that it is worth remembering that the bad days will pass and we should do our best not to let them take us down. So I have tried to include humor in the Dailies from the very beginning and hope they have brought you a smile once in a while. So my dear friends keep smiling and stay happy.

Here is something that was written many years ago that I still like, I hopw you will as well.

A Life of Positive Thinking and Laughter

Having A Sense Of Humor Can Empower You

By Jordan Richardson

Living a life of positive thinking and laughter is bound to have you feeling happier and more successful throughout your day-to-day routine. In fact, people who make positive thinking and laughter a key goal in their lives tend to experience more daily success and happiness than anyone else. There are key steps to achieving happiness by incorporating a good attitude and a sense of humor in your life: visualizing goals and maintaining the right attitude. Visualizing goals and going after them is a key component to positive thinking because it is a successful technique that helps you achieve the results you want. Keeping a good attitude towards life is a great way to make laughter a greater part of your life. Having a sense of humor can empower you, even in the most distressing situations. Instead of making a bad situation worse, a sense of humor can help you overcome any negative emotions and get you in the frame of mind to solve whatever problem is at hand.

Daily Happiness and Success

Having daily happiness and success is all about developing a habit. You’ll need to start making a few changes in your life if you want to experience positive thinking and laughter on a regular basis, and you’ll want to create an environment that encourages both those qualities. One of the first things you’ll want to do in developing your “happy habit” is to change the way you look at things in your life. It’s important to keep a realistic view about things that happen in your life, but your attitude about setbacks can make a big difference in your mood and possibly your health.  Chronic stress has been linked to a variety of health conditions, including depression, ulcers and heart disease.


My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Maya Angelou


Signs of a Frustrated Parent

  1. Your children know how to read HTML code but can’t operate a vacuum cleaner.
  2. Your children tell you that you said “yes” and you don’t even remember the question.
  3. You go to the grocery store and find yourself having a good time.
  4. Your spouse asks how your day went and you rate it on a scale of 1-10 repeats of “stop that!” or “no!”
  5. You can’t remember the last time you didn’t have to share your drink.
  6. You mistakenly tell the kids it’s “sanity” time when you meant to say “bed” time.
  7. The laundry seems to have taken on an evil nature and you begin to feel that it’s out to get you.
  8. You dread hearing the phone ring because it’s a sure sign there’s about to be trouble amongst the children.
  9. It’s finally your turn on the computer and “Touched by an Angel” is just coming on.
  10. You go to sleep with “I’m bored” or “I’m hungry” still ringing in your ears.


“Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd.”

Allan Goldfein


A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly she had fared in the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magic genie!!

The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the genie informs her that he will give her three wishes.

But, he cautions her that because he does not believe in divorce, he will give her ex-husband ten times the amount of whatever she wishes.

The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes her first wish. The first wish was for a billion dollars. The genie grants her wish and she finds herself sitting in pile of one billion one-dollar bills. The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the recipient of 10 billion dollars. The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish. The second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private beach. In an instant it was granted, but the genie then reminds gain that her ex-husband now owns ten of what she wished for, and points out the beach to a small development of ten such mansions. Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last wish. Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the woman informs the genie that she wants to make the last wish. But, before she can do this, the genie again warns her that her ex-husband will get ten times what she wishes for. No problem, said the woman as she grinned in ecstasy. For my last wish…  “I’d like to give birth to twins.”


“I’m Jewish but not very religious…I go to Temple twice a year.  Christmas and Easter.”

Jeffery Ross


Morris had just had coronary artery bypass surgery a month ago and now is at the doctor’s office for his final follow up visit.  Of course Morris wants to know when he can start having sex again.

The doctor explains to Morris that he would be able to resume his sex life as soon as he could climb two flights of stairs without becoming winded.

Morris listens attentively and then says, “What if I look for the women who live on the ground floor?”


“You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.”

Ray Bradbury


One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, “You had a great check-up.  Is there anything that you’d like to talk about or ask me?”

“Well,” he said, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.”

“That’s a big decision!  Have you talked it over with your family?”

“Yeah, we took a vote… and they’re in favor of it 15 to 2.”


“Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?”

Lisa Claymen


The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, “You know I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?” asked the woman.

“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”


She said: Advice to bridegrooms: Don’t tell your bride-to-be that you’re not worthy of her. Let it be a surprise.


Jake came home from a hard day’s work, sat down at the kitchen table, and said to his wife, “Sadie, for once in your life don’t start with your troubles. Ask, instead, what happened to me at business. Ask, already, what kind of day I had. Go ahead, ask. Just ask.”

Whereupon Sadie said apprehensively, “So what happened, Jake?”

And Jake buried his head in his hands, groaned, and said, “What happened?  Oh, Sadie, better you shouldn’t ask!”


Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up.

Allen Klein


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


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