Ray's musings and humor

Archive for December, 2016

Thanks for all you do

I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.

Oprah Winfrey


I am off the see one of my heart doctors first thing this morning so I am going to once again fall back and send you a past issue of the Daily. Have a great weekend.

Ray’s Daily first published on December 16, 2004

As most of you know I have spent much of my life working with Kiwanis members as they volunteered their time in service to others. Some of my best friendships have come from the opportunity to be with others as they “Give something back” to their communities. As the years have gone by I have watched these unsung heroes’ rock crack babies, host picnics for the mentally and physically handicapped, serve at soup kitchens and raise funds that they use to provide warm clothes to young children who would go without if someone did not help. The list is limitless.

Some of my friends like to cook for others, some enjoy reading to preschool children, and some use their hands to help repair homes for seniors. In reality there is something each of us can do, it might be volunteering at the museum, helping high schoolers run food drives, or just visiting someone who is lonely.

It is when we express our humanity by doing something for others that we feed our souls. The reward does not come in money or even recognition, it comes from the fact that someone had a better day because you were there and you cared. I wonder if the reason volunteers tend to be happy is because they volunteer, or do they volunteer because they have a happy and healthy outlook on life.

The opportunities are endless; today I visited a shop called Global Gifts a not-for-profit volunteer supported organization committed to serving artisans and producers in the developing world. It practices fair trade and ensures that artisans from developing countries are paid fairly, in advance and have healthy working conditions. They provide volunteer opportunities to help others who often live in poverty in the far reaches of the earth. This is just one example of the variety of opportunities each of us have to serve others.


Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth.

Shirley Chisholm


On the first day, God created the cow. God said, “You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I’ll give back the other forty.” And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give back the other ten.” So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day, God created the monkey. God said, entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty year life span.”

Monkey said, “How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?” And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man.

God said, “Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy doing nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I’ll give you twenty years.”

Man said, “What? Only twenty years? No way, God.

Tell you what, I’ll take the forty the cow gave back, the ten the dog gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?” “Okay,” said God. “You’ve got a deal.”

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy doing nothing.

For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.

For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren and for the last ten years, we sit around the house and bark at everybody.


When my grown children complain about the way they were raised, I always tell them that we did the best we could with what we had to work with.


Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall ,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

And his winter wasn’t bad either.


It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.


Ralph sent us this old but good one.

A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with John and he is so nice – even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion mom, I’m pregnant and John said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!!  Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,


PS : Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home


You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.


My 17-year-old niece asked me if she could use my name as a reference on her resume’, which she planned to submit to a local fast-food restaurant.  I agreed.

A few days later she called and told me to meet her at the restaurant later that afternoon.  When I asked her why, she replied, “The manager wants me to come in for an interview, and she told me to bring my references.”


Never argue with a stupid person because they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!

Mark Minton


My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.  He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like.

It seems the minister asked my Mom, “Do you take this man to be your husband.” And she said, “I do.”

Then the minister asked my Dad, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,” and my Mom said, “He does.”


“It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, But only empties today of its strength.”

Charles Haddon Spurgeon


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Are you ready for next year?

There is good in every year.”

Lailah Gifty Akita


In just a few weeks we will begin a new year, one that again will be filled with challenges and opportunities. We also need to decide if we are just going to be observers or participants. Far too many of us will throw up our hands in the belief that there is nothing we can do with today’s realities.

In truth we all have everyday opportunities to make positive moves. In my case I enjoy how many times in a day I get a chance to greet someone and even sometimes help them. It may not seem much but to me it is. I also get a chance to participate in the problem solving of some of the groups I support. All the little differences we make add up even leaving a feeling of accomplishment.

If you are one who will put together resolutions for next year you might consider these thoughts compiled by Tony Peeris from India.

Principles Of Life

  • You would achieve more, if you don’t mind who gets the credit.
  • When everything else is lost, the future still remains.
  • Don’t fight too much or the enemy will know your art of war.
  • The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
  • If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.
  • If you do little things well, you’ll do big ones better.
  • Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
  • You won’t get a second chance to make a first impression.
  • Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
  • Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
  • If you are not failing, you’re not taking enough risks.
  • Don’t try to get rid of your bad temper by losing it.
  • Those who don’t make mistakes usually don’t make anything.
  • There are two kinds of failures: Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
  • Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
  • All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
  • Change your thoughts and you change your world.
  • Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
  • There are two kinds of fools in this world.: Those who give advice and those who don’t take it.
  • The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
  • Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
  • Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.


New Year’s resolutions often fail because toxic emotions and experiences from our past can sabotage us or keep us stuck with the same old thoughts, patterns and regrets.

Debbie Ford


A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist. “So who did you see before coming to me?” asked the doctor.

“My local General Practitioner.”

“Your GP?” scoffed the doctor.  “What a waste of time.  Tell me, what sort of useless advice did he give you?”

“He told me to come and see you.”


We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet – so we bought a dog. Well, it’s cheaper, and you get more feet.

Rita Rudner


A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?”

The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”


“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”

Clarence Darrow


The following breeds are now recognized by the AKC:

Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso, a dog that folds up easy for transporting

Spitz + Chow Chow = Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up alot

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, not a popular dog with CIA agents

Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by… oh, well, it doesn’t matter anyway

Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end


Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur.

Muriel Spark


Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.

“Great,” Sue exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”

“Wonderful,” Mary replied. “I’ll go with you.”


I had a nostalgic English teacher who found the past perfect and the present tense?


She said: Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine husband called home to tell me he would be late again. He went on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the platoon’s quarters and they had to discipline the whole squad. I launched into a tirade, arguing that many men had pictures hanging in their quarters at our previous post, so his new platoon should not be penalized for something trivial. My husband calmly listened to my gripes and then explained, “Honey, dirty magazines: the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned.”


According to experts at the National Institute of Mental Health, depressed people die much sooner than everyone else.

Well, that’s just what depressed people need to hear! That should cheer them up!

Jay Leno


Frank:  Well, you’re certainly coming up in the world, playing golf with not one, but two caddies!

Ted:  Oh, it was my wife’s idea.

Frank:  Your wife?

Ted:  Yeah. She thought I should spend more time with the kids.


Let our New Year’s resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.

Goran Persson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Oh Happy Day

“Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”

James M. Barrie  


I know it is the season to be jolly but it was a little hard for me yesterday. My day began with an ophthalmologist letting me know I needed additional treatments for my eye discomfort. When I returned to my car from my appointment I was greeted by snowl, just enough to make driving a little challenging. I then spent time searching for a source of the medication my doctor wanted me to use only to find it was no longer being produced, after making numerous calls, an acceptable substitute.

Fortunately a therapeutic nap restored my jolliness and I was able to get on with the day. As you know I am a big advocate of investing in happiness. In that spirit I offer some tips I recently picked up from an article by Elizabeth Scott, MS.

Happiness Shortcuts

Incorporate Laughter

The phrase, “Laughter is the best medicine,” has become a cliché because it’s so true. We know that laughter has benefits far beyond mood. Laughter can actually enhance immunity and prolong life. (See this article for more on the benefits of laughter.) However, to elevate your mood, laughter can’t be beat — in fact, the mere expectation of laughter has been known to bring benefits.) There are several quick ways to have more fun and get more laughter in your life (jokes are some of my favorites), but the long-term strategy of maintaining a sense of humor about life can bring continual happiness, as well as less stress.

Change Your Perspective

Often, your satisfaction with life is tied to your frame of reference and the comparisons you make. If you’re trying to ‘keep up with the Joneses,’ and the Joneses are millionaires, it’s much more difficult to stay happy and satisfied with your place in life than if you’re volunteering your time to help those in need, and are constantly reminded of how much you have in comparison. One quick and simple way to turn your mood around is to change your expectations and comparison. Instead of looking at what you don’t have, look at all that you do have. There will always be people who have more than you in one area of life or another, but many have less. Revel in the benefits of gratitude, and change the way you view what you have (and don’t have), and you can feel more happiness right away.

Choose Joy

Happiness expert Robert Holden, Ph.D., who has a very successful 8-week course on the development of happiness, you don’t need need to work toward happiness, you can just be happy. Think about it: you likely already know what activities make you feel good, and what brings you joy. Just do those things. (And why not start today? As Holden recommends, “Live NOW–procrastinate later!”)

Another thing you can do is decide in the morning that you’re going to be a little happier. Think about 3 things that can make you a little happier that day, and try to do them. While building a life that fosters happiness is a good idea, you don’t need to wait until that happiness-lifestyle is in place; you can be happier now by simply choosing happiness.


“Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.”



Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body.  After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health.

“Sam, you’re in excellent shape for an 85 year old man.  But I’m not a magician – I can’t make you any younger”, says the doctor.

“Who asked you to make me younger, already?” says Sam.  “You just make sure I get older!”


Is there another word for synonym?


My two brothers arrived at boot camp together. On the first morning, their unit was dragged out of bed by a drill sergeant and made to assemble outside.

“My name’s Sergeant Jackson,” he snarled. “Is there anyone here who thinks he can whip me?”

My six-foot-three, 280-pound, brother raised his hand and said,

“Yes sir, I do.”

The sergeant grabbed him by the arm and led him out in front of the entire group.

“Men,” he said, “this is my new assistant. Now is there anyone here who thinks he can whip both of us?”


When push comes to shove… somebody’s gonna figure out that “push” and “shove” mean the same damn thing.


A man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing convulsively.

“I feel terrible,” she told him.  “I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

“Oh, just forget it,” consoled her husband.  “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, I know.  And it’s lucky you have!” said the woman, drying her eyes.

“I was able to use a piece from them to patch the hole!”


So a dyslexic walks into a bra . . .


A few years ago, as a solar eclipse approached, a planetarium director in Southern California sent out warnings to the community about the eclipse. He warned people not to look directly into the sun during the eclipse. Soon after issuing the warning, the planetarium director received an indignant letter from a local resident… The letter read:

“Dear Director Atherton,

If an eclipse is so dangerous, you should never have scheduled one in the first place!”


A man walks into the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”

“Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist.

“That’s it! . . .  I can never remember that word!!”


I’m going to be happy today,

Though the skies may be cloudy and gray

No matter what may come my way

I’m going to be happy today.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


They are waiting for us

There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats


I honestly believe that the most debilitating thing we face is not disease but lonesomeness and isolation. We no longer see the friends we had when we were working. Some of the folks who were are friends have moved and others have passed on. If we are not careful we find ourselves without the human connections that are so important to living a happy and fulfilling existence.

The good news is that it does not have to be that way, no matter your age or situation there are people out there that would love to be your friend. Unfortunately to many of us never give new friendships a chance. There is hardly a day that goes by that I don’t appreciate how many of you have become friends over the years.

Making new friends is not that hard, here are some tips that can help. I wish more people would follow the advice offered so I could discover even more friends. I had to do minor editing but kept the good stuff.

6 Steps to Relationship Success

By Eugene Yiga

Meeting people is easy. In addition to the traditional ways like friends, societies, and other social groups, we now have the internet too. And provided we’re prepared to get out of our comfort zones, it shouldn’t be too hard. But getting along with the people we meet is another matter. It’s something a lot of us struggle with. Ultimately, it all comes down to developing social intelligence. That requires three things:


Relationships aren’t meant to be taken seriously. So keep that in mind whenever it comes to approaching someone new. Be approachable by keeping your body language open. Know that they will enjoy your company.


Most of us try too hard to come up with clever things to say. But instead of worrying about your words, why not shut up and take a minute to listen? Take an interest in who they are. It starts with remembering their names but goes a lot further. Ask a lot of questions and encourage them to talk about their lives and the things they’re going through.


The main aim of relationships is to connect with the thoughts and feelings other people are having. Doing so starts with maintaining eye contact (without staring) but also goes a lot further. Oftentimes, rephrasing something they’ve said is a good way to show you understand the emotion behind the message. They’ll be far more inclined to connect with you if you’re prepared to show this level of commitment.

Be sincere

Don’t use the conversation to show off how knowledgeable you are about things nobody might even care about. And don’t use it as a chance to complain about other people or your problems. In other words, don’t talk for the sake of talking. If you don’t have anything good to say, you’re better off not speaking at all.

Be interested

Remember that the conversation is not about you, as much as you’d like that to be the case. Instead, make it about the other person. Ask people about their lives and take a real interest in what they have to say. When they ask the same of you, it’s time to make the connection. Start by finding common ground. So find whatever similarities you can and make them known.

Be open

Relationships are ultimately about opening up and connecting. You can’t do that if you’re simply focused on keeping things strictly professional. Take the time to get to know new people in your life. Slowly open up by sharing your life and encourage them to do the same. That builds trust. Sometimes you may hit a wall, in which case it might be advisable to simply keep things light. Even relationships like that have their place. But wherever possible, try to find a connection and let it grow. Show love and support because that’s what we’re here for.


A friend is what the heart needs all the time.

Henry Van Dyke


“Definition of Success”

You can use most any measure

When you’re speaking of ‘Success’.

You can measure it in fancy home,

Expensive car or dress.

But….the measure of your REAL success

Is the one you can not spend.

It’s the way your kids describe YOU

When they’re speaking to a friend!

    Martin Buxbaum


Don’t assume malice for what stupidity can explain.


Chaim Potok, the best selling author and an unlikely art connoisseur, telephoned his mother and told her that he had just bought a Rubens.

“Rubin? Rubin the delicatessen man?”

“No, Mama, Rubens is a painter,” he explained kindly.

“Oh, this I didn’t know,” she said breathlessly. Listen, Chaim, ask him how much he’ll charge to paint the kitchen!”


The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.


I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was delayed, so we spent our time talking and eating everything the concession had to offer: Hot dogs, pretzels, nachos, pizza, soda, peanuts, ice cream, and cotton candy.

About a year later, I asked my son if he’d like to go to another game. He thought about it for a moment and then replied, “No, thanks, Dad. I’m really not that hungry.”


I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.

Charles R. Swindoll


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Be Curious

“The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.”



If you are like I am you know folks who are good people who spend all their time just being who they are never allowing time for them to be who they might be. Like so many of us they just do what they always do and they do it well. They get some satisfaction from just fulfilling their tasks on the job and outside of work. They seldom can identify anything that is different in their lives that might provide them a more interesting and fulfilling existence.

All of us benefit when we allow ourselves the opportunity to try something new, to occasionally sail out of our safe harbors to explore a little more of the world. I have been lucky enough to meet many people who have taken the steps that have led them to some great places. The achievers are those who found they could do things that they never knew they could do until they risked trying something different.

I just read an article written by Kristi Triplett on the importance of staying curious that I liked. Here are excerpts from her piece that I think offers people the opportunity to discover what may take them to a place they would enjoy.

Curiosity is a beautiful piece of us to embrace. Curiosity is innate. It is natural. To find it, we must look beyond the patterns of our day. We must be able to allow ourselves to come to the present and experience every moment as if it was to never cross our path again. Curiosity has been found to improve aspects such as health, intelligence, social relationships, happiness, and life meaning. In the next few paragraphs, I hope you are able to reflect on your own narrative and become inquisitive on how you can nurture your inherent trait of curiosity:

Open yourself up to what you still don’t know

Beginning to be aware of what is happening around you is a great start! Each of us has our own narrative, our own story. Listen. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen more. Learn more. Begin to build more knowledge and understanding in different areas of life you are passionate about, whether that is diversity, business, advocacy, public policy, etc. I love how Psychology Today describes it: go to people, not google.

Engage yourself in those feelings of the unknown

Have you ever had that feeling of walking into your surprise birthday party, having your dinner paid for by a stranger, or even receiving a random high five from your boss who you knew wasn’t having the best day? What did you feel after? Maybe a little bit of joy? Many times, we can discover this feeling of pleasure and true happiness in the surprises that jump out at us from our daily patterns. Focus on both the puzzles and the mysteries.

Explore what you are passionate about

What are you passionate about? What do you enjoy that breaks you out of your daily patterns of life?  Explore what fascinates you whether that be nature, people, architecture, food…Curiosity is the root to discoveries.

Ask questions

Who, what, when, where, and why (these will be your best friends). Mike Parker, CEO of Dow Chemical says it like this:

“A lot of bad leadership comes from an inability or unwillingness to ask questions. I have watched talented people—people with much higher IQs than mine—who have failed as leaders. They can talk brilliantly, with a great breadth of knowledge, but they’re not very good at asking questions. So while they know a lot at a high level, they don’t know what’s going on way down in the system. Sometimes they are afraid of asking questions, but what they don’t realize is that the dumbest questions can be very powerful. They can unlock a conversation.”

Be willing to ask all kinds of questions, even if they feel silly.


We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

Walt Disney


Morty and Sarah had just returned home from a party. Sarah said, “Do you realize what you did tonight, Morty?”

“No I don’t,” Morty replied, “But I’ll admit I was wrong. What did I do?”


I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.

Shirley Temple


It was their first date, and she’d shown the patience of a saint as he babbled on and on about his hobbies, his pet peeves, his driving techniques, and even the standards he used to choose his barber. Finally, he came up for air and said, “But enough about me. Let’s talk about you.”  She breathed a sigh of relief.

He went on, “What do you think about me?”


“I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.”

Rita Rudner


Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun. Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her parents. “Take it to the police station,” her mother suggested. My friend was about to hang up when her mom added….”And, Kathryn?”

“Yes, mom?”

“Call them first and let them know you’re coming.”


You’re never too old to learn something stupid.


An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.

“The front row please.” she answered.

“You really don’t want to do that”, the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.”

“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired. “No.” he said.

“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“No.” she said.

“Good,” he answered.


“What a large volume of adventures may be grasped within the span of his life by him who interests his heart in everything.”

Laurence Sterne


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Live on or dream on

“You can get what you want or you can just get old.”

Billy Joel


I had a full day yesterday and have another ahead today. Since we are experiencing winter weather I have chosen to hibernate this morning and am sending you another Daily from the archive.

Ray’s Daily first published on December 9, 2004

All men and women are born, live suffer and die; what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams, whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things, and what we do to make them come about… We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death. But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live. 

Joseph Epstein


The sad part is that so many of us do not choose our dreams. The world carries us away and leaves us in little nooks and crannies where we resign ourselves to a belief that it is where we have to be. Lately I have had the chance to spend time with many people who want to follow a dream but just don’t know how. We often substitute title, income and material goods for what we might be if we only had the courage to follow our dreams. It takes nerve to say I will sacrifice income or title as the price I will pay for an investment in my own happiness and satisfaction. As time goes by, life goes by and each day we choose to stay where we are becomes a day that becomes lost to the, “what might have been.”

The thing I have learned in recent years is that it is never too late. I also have learned that dream fulfillment does not have to be dumping everything for a life on a deserted island. We can find so much that will feed our soul in the little things we can do. When was the last time that you did something that made no sense to anyone but yourself? When was the last time you did something that you always wanted to do, but always found the reasons why not?

I’ll tell you what, you can do me a big favor this Christmas, I would like for you to give yourself a gift. Think about something you have wanted to do that you might never do. Maybe it is to go to New York to see a Broadway musical. Or maybe it is to sign up for a course in painting so that you can spend the rest of your life seeing things others don’t while putting what you see on canvas. I don’t know what it is for you but I doubt that you can think of nothing. Once you know what it is, no matter if it is crazy or not, write it on a piece of paper, and put it in a box, on the card write, this is my gift to me. When you open your present do not think of the reasons why you can’t, just promise yourself that you will do it next week, or on the weekend after, and then do it. You will be glad you did and I will get a vicarious thrill knowing that you got something you deserved.


Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will.

Michel Eyquem de Montaigne


Murphy’s Laws Of Computers …..

  1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
  2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
  3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
  4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
  5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
  6. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
  7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
  8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
  9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
  10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
  11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but…..rarely what you want them to do!


Life is an adventure in forgiveness.

Norman Cousins


Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device (BOOK).

It’s a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere–even sitting in an armchair by the fire–yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here’s how it works: Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper, each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder that keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. The user scans each sheet optically, registering information directly into his or her brain. A flick of the finger takes the user to the next sheet.

The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The “browse” feature allows the user to move instantly to any sheet and to move forward or backward as desired. Most BOOKs come with an “index” feature that pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows the user to open the BOOK to the exact place left in a previous session–even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Portable, durable, and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus…ie: (PENCILS).


A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world”

The woman says, “I’ll miss you…”


Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract’s sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, “This man,” he announced, “Called in sick yesterday!” There on the sports page, was a photo of the ‘supposedly’ ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. “Wow,” he said.  “Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn’t been sick!”


There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking! How nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.


Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents.  When she rang the bell, Little Johnny opened the door.  The teacher said, “Hello, Johnny.  I would like to talk to your mother or your father.”

Little Johnny said, “Sorry, but they ain’t here.”

The teacher said, “Johnny, what is it with your grammar?”

“Beats me,” said Little Johnny, “but dad sure was mad that they had t’go bail her out again.”


Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.


A little girl was sitting on her daddy’s lap.  She gazed up at her father and said, “Daddy, did anyone ever tell you that you’re the most wonderful and smartest man in the world?”

Her father, filled with pride said, “Why no, honey, they haven’t.”

“Then where did you get the idea?” She asked.


If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.


She said: Co-workers sympathized as my mother, Claire, complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture.

“Claire, dear, why didn’t you wait ’till your husband got home?” someone asked.

“I suppose I could of….” my mother told the group, “but, the couch is easier to move if he’s not on it.


“If we cannot live so as to be happy, Let us least live so as to deserve it.”

Immanuel Hermann Fichte


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Great morning ahead

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”

Mahatma Gandhi


I have a busy morning. Two breakfast meetings followed by an early lunch. I am sure that by the time I get home I will be ready to nap. The good news is that I will spend some time with a smart author friend, followed by a meeting with two of my favorite people, a University administrator and the Executive Director of a highly regarded service organization. It will all be capped off by my brunching with an actress friend who recently closed a major musical where she received rave reviews. Her life in the professional theatre has made her someone special and I am lucky that she has allowed me to be her friend.

‘Tis the season to be jolly but even better it is the season to enjoy time with friends. As I have thought about the folks I will see today I am reminded of how they have made a difference in the lives of the many people they have touched, I know because I am one of them. It is in that spirit that I share the following with you today:


   The Power of One

     Author Unknown

One song can spark a moment

One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest

One bird can herald spring

One smile begins a friendship

One handclasp lifts a soul

One star can guide a ship at sea

One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation

One sunbeam lights a room

One candle wipes out darkness

One laugh will conquer gloom

One step must start each journey

One word must start a prayer

One hope will raise our spirits

One touch can show you care

One voice can speak with wisdom

One heart can know what is true

One Life can make a difference


When you believe in what you’re doing and use your imagination and initiative, you can make a difference.

Samuel Dash


This is a conversation that took place between a person(Y) in the public and a marketing guy(X).

X: Which shaving cream do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X: Which aftershave do you use?

Y: Baba’s X: Which deodorant do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X: Which toothpaste do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X: Which shampoo do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X: Which vests do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X(Frustrated): O.k. tell me, What is this Baba?    Is it an international company???

Y: No, He is my room-mate.


My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they’re just jealous because they don’t have pajamas with feet.

Tom Sims



In prison you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.

In prison you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle. At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can’t sleep without his latest Lego creation.

In prison you get to watch TV, cable even. At home you get to listen your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison you can read whatever you want and attend college for free. At home you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up. At home you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison you get your own personal toilet. At home you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done so you can do something for them.

In prison the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes. At home you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else’s, and get yelled at because somebody’s favorite shirt isn’t clean.

In prison they take you everywhere you need to go. At home you take everybody else where they need to go.

In prison there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t. At home….stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?


A mouse trap placed on top of your hubby’s alarm clock will prevent him from rolling over and going back to sleep.


Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (whose habits partially blocked the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said, ‘I think I’m going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns there’.

The second guy spoke up and said, “I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there’.

The third guy said, ‘I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there’.

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet, calm voice said, ‘Why don’t you go to hell … there aren’t any nuns there’.


“Women only have two complaints: Nothing to wear and not enough closet space for it.”


Several American nurses were receiving specialized training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. These nurses had little money for meals, so they ate the awful food provided at the hospital complex. Sometimes kindly visitors would give them some of the treats they had brought for patients who had not wanted to eat them.

One night a woman brought a pie to the kitchen and said to one of the nurses,

“Would you eat this up, love?”   So she and another American student nurse devoured every delicious crumb!

Soon the woman returned, however, and asked…..”Is me ‘usband’s pie ‘ot yet, dearie?”


Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.

Barbara De Angelis


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


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