Ray's musings and humor

Archive for December, 2016

They are waiting for us

There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

a-true-friend

I honestly believe that the most debilitating thing we face is not disease but lonesomeness and isolation. We no longer see the friends we had when we were working. Some of the folks who were are friends have moved and others have passed on. If we are not careful we find ourselves without the human connections that are so important to living a happy and fulfilling existence.

The good news is that it does not have to be that way, no matter your age or situation there are people out there that would love to be your friend. Unfortunately to many of us never give new friendships a chance. There is hardly a day that goes by that I don’t appreciate how many of you have become friends over the years.

Making new friends is not that hard, here are some tips that can help. I wish more people would follow the advice offered so I could discover even more friends. I had to do minor editing but kept the good stuff.

6 Steps to Relationship Success

By Eugene Yiga

Meeting people is easy. In addition to the traditional ways like friends, societies, and other social groups, we now have the internet too. And provided we’re prepared to get out of our comfort zones, it shouldn’t be too hard. But getting along with the people we meet is another matter. It’s something a lot of us struggle with. Ultimately, it all comes down to developing social intelligence. That requires three things:

Relax

Relationships aren’t meant to be taken seriously. So keep that in mind whenever it comes to approaching someone new. Be approachable by keeping your body language open. Know that they will enjoy your company.

Listen

Most of us try too hard to come up with clever things to say. But instead of worrying about your words, why not shut up and take a minute to listen? Take an interest in who they are. It starts with remembering their names but goes a lot further. Ask a lot of questions and encourage them to talk about their lives and the things they’re going through.

Connect

The main aim of relationships is to connect with the thoughts and feelings other people are having. Doing so starts with maintaining eye contact (without staring) but also goes a lot further. Oftentimes, rephrasing something they’ve said is a good way to show you understand the emotion behind the message. They’ll be far more inclined to connect with you if you’re prepared to show this level of commitment.

Be sincere

Don’t use the conversation to show off how knowledgeable you are about things nobody might even care about. And don’t use it as a chance to complain about other people or your problems. In other words, don’t talk for the sake of talking. If you don’t have anything good to say, you’re better off not speaking at all.

Be interested

Remember that the conversation is not about you, as much as you’d like that to be the case. Instead, make it about the other person. Ask people about their lives and take a real interest in what they have to say. When they ask the same of you, it’s time to make the connection. Start by finding common ground. So find whatever similarities you can and make them known.

Be open

Relationships are ultimately about opening up and connecting. You can’t do that if you’re simply focused on keeping things strictly professional. Take the time to get to know new people in your life. Slowly open up by sharing your life and encourage them to do the same. That builds trust. Sometimes you may hit a wall, in which case it might be advisable to simply keep things light. Even relationships like that have their place. But wherever possible, try to find a connection and let it grow. Show love and support because that’s what we’re here for.

~~~

A friend is what the heart needs all the time.

Henry Van Dyke

~~~

“Definition of Success”

You can use most any measure

When you’re speaking of ‘Success’.

You can measure it in fancy home,

Expensive car or dress.

But….the measure of your REAL success

Is the one you can not spend.

It’s the way your kids describe YOU

When they’re speaking to a friend!

    Martin Buxbaum

~~~

Don’t assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

~~~

Chaim Potok, the best selling author and an unlikely art connoisseur, telephoned his mother and told her that he had just bought a Rubens.

“Rubin? Rubin the delicatessen man?”

“No, Mama, Rubens is a painter,” he explained kindly.

“Oh, this I didn’t know,” she said breathlessly. Listen, Chaim, ask him how much he’ll charge to paint the kitchen!”

~~~

The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.

~~~

I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was delayed, so we spent our time talking and eating everything the concession had to offer: Hot dogs, pretzels, nachos, pizza, soda, peanuts, ice cream, and cotton candy.

About a year later, I asked my son if he’d like to go to another game. He thought about it for a moment and then replied, “No, thanks, Dad. I’m really not that hungry.”

~~~

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.

Charles R. Swindoll

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Be Curious

“The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.”

Plutarch

be-curious

If you are like I am you know folks who are good people who spend all their time just being who they are never allowing time for them to be who they might be. Like so many of us they just do what they always do and they do it well. They get some satisfaction from just fulfilling their tasks on the job and outside of work. They seldom can identify anything that is different in their lives that might provide them a more interesting and fulfilling existence.

All of us benefit when we allow ourselves the opportunity to try something new, to occasionally sail out of our safe harbors to explore a little more of the world. I have been lucky enough to meet many people who have taken the steps that have led them to some great places. The achievers are those who found they could do things that they never knew they could do until they risked trying something different.

I just read an article written by Kristi Triplett on the importance of staying curious that I liked. Here are excerpts from her piece that I think offers people the opportunity to discover what may take them to a place they would enjoy.

Curiosity is a beautiful piece of us to embrace. Curiosity is innate. It is natural. To find it, we must look beyond the patterns of our day. We must be able to allow ourselves to come to the present and experience every moment as if it was to never cross our path again. Curiosity has been found to improve aspects such as health, intelligence, social relationships, happiness, and life meaning. In the next few paragraphs, I hope you are able to reflect on your own narrative and become inquisitive on how you can nurture your inherent trait of curiosity:

Open yourself up to what you still don’t know

Beginning to be aware of what is happening around you is a great start! Each of us has our own narrative, our own story. Listen. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen more. Learn more. Begin to build more knowledge and understanding in different areas of life you are passionate about, whether that is diversity, business, advocacy, public policy, etc. I love how Psychology Today describes it: go to people, not google.

Engage yourself in those feelings of the unknown

Have you ever had that feeling of walking into your surprise birthday party, having your dinner paid for by a stranger, or even receiving a random high five from your boss who you knew wasn’t having the best day? What did you feel after? Maybe a little bit of joy? Many times, we can discover this feeling of pleasure and true happiness in the surprises that jump out at us from our daily patterns. Focus on both the puzzles and the mysteries.

Explore what you are passionate about

What are you passionate about? What do you enjoy that breaks you out of your daily patterns of life?  Explore what fascinates you whether that be nature, people, architecture, food…Curiosity is the root to discoveries.

Ask questions

Who, what, when, where, and why (these will be your best friends). Mike Parker, CEO of Dow Chemical says it like this:

“A lot of bad leadership comes from an inability or unwillingness to ask questions. I have watched talented people—people with much higher IQs than mine—who have failed as leaders. They can talk brilliantly, with a great breadth of knowledge, but they’re not very good at asking questions. So while they know a lot at a high level, they don’t know what’s going on way down in the system. Sometimes they are afraid of asking questions, but what they don’t realize is that the dumbest questions can be very powerful. They can unlock a conversation.”

Be willing to ask all kinds of questions, even if they feel silly.

~~~

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

Walt Disney

~~~

Morty and Sarah had just returned home from a party. Sarah said, “Do you realize what you did tonight, Morty?”

“No I don’t,” Morty replied, “But I’ll admit I was wrong. What did I do?”

~~~

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.

Shirley Temple

~~~

It was their first date, and she’d shown the patience of a saint as he babbled on and on about his hobbies, his pet peeves, his driving techniques, and even the standards he used to choose his barber. Finally, he came up for air and said, “But enough about me. Let’s talk about you.”  She breathed a sigh of relief.

He went on, “What do you think about me?”

~~~

“I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.”

Rita Rudner

~~~

Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun. Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her parents. “Take it to the police station,” her mother suggested. My friend was about to hang up when her mom added….”And, Kathryn?”

“Yes, mom?”

“Call them first and let them know you’re coming.”

~~~

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

~~~

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.

“The front row please.” she answered.

“You really don’t want to do that”, the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.”

“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired. “No.” he said.

“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“No.” she said.

“Good,” he answered.

~~~

“What a large volume of adventures may be grasped within the span of his life by him who interests his heart in everything.”

Laurence Sterne

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Live on or dream on

“You can get what you want or you can just get old.”

Billy Joel

live-your-dreams

I had a full day yesterday and have another ahead today. Since we are experiencing winter weather I have chosen to hibernate this morning and am sending you another Daily from the archive.

Ray’s Daily first published on December 9, 2004

All men and women are born, live suffer and die; what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams, whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things, and what we do to make them come about… We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death. But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live. 

Joseph Epstein

~~~

The sad part is that so many of us do not choose our dreams. The world carries us away and leaves us in little nooks and crannies where we resign ourselves to a belief that it is where we have to be. Lately I have had the chance to spend time with many people who want to follow a dream but just don’t know how. We often substitute title, income and material goods for what we might be if we only had the courage to follow our dreams. It takes nerve to say I will sacrifice income or title as the price I will pay for an investment in my own happiness and satisfaction. As time goes by, life goes by and each day we choose to stay where we are becomes a day that becomes lost to the, “what might have been.”

The thing I have learned in recent years is that it is never too late. I also have learned that dream fulfillment does not have to be dumping everything for a life on a deserted island. We can find so much that will feed our soul in the little things we can do. When was the last time that you did something that made no sense to anyone but yourself? When was the last time you did something that you always wanted to do, but always found the reasons why not?

I’ll tell you what, you can do me a big favor this Christmas, I would like for you to give yourself a gift. Think about something you have wanted to do that you might never do. Maybe it is to go to New York to see a Broadway musical. Or maybe it is to sign up for a course in painting so that you can spend the rest of your life seeing things others don’t while putting what you see on canvas. I don’t know what it is for you but I doubt that you can think of nothing. Once you know what it is, no matter if it is crazy or not, write it on a piece of paper, and put it in a box, on the card write, this is my gift to me. When you open your present do not think of the reasons why you can’t, just promise yourself that you will do it next week, or on the weekend after, and then do it. You will be glad you did and I will get a vicarious thrill knowing that you got something you deserved.

~~~

Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will.

Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

~~~

Murphy’s Laws Of Computers …..

  1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
  2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
  3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
  4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
  5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
  6. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
  7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
  8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
  9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
  10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
  11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but…..rarely what you want them to do!

~~~

Life is an adventure in forgiveness.

Norman Cousins

~~~

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device (BOOK).

It’s a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere–even sitting in an armchair by the fire–yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here’s how it works: Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper, each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder that keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. The user scans each sheet optically, registering information directly into his or her brain. A flick of the finger takes the user to the next sheet.

The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The “browse” feature allows the user to move instantly to any sheet and to move forward or backward as desired. Most BOOKs come with an “index” feature that pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows the user to open the BOOK to the exact place left in a previous session–even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Portable, durable, and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus…ie: (PENCILS).

~~~

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world”

The woman says, “I’ll miss you…”

~~~

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract’s sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, “This man,” he announced, “Called in sick yesterday!” There on the sports page, was a photo of the ‘supposedly’ ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. “Wow,” he said.  “Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn’t been sick!”

~~~

There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking! How nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

~~~

Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents.  When she rang the bell, Little Johnny opened the door.  The teacher said, “Hello, Johnny.  I would like to talk to your mother or your father.”

Little Johnny said, “Sorry, but they ain’t here.”

The teacher said, “Johnny, what is it with your grammar?”

“Beats me,” said Little Johnny, “but dad sure was mad that they had t’go bail her out again.”

~~~

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

~~~

A little girl was sitting on her daddy’s lap.  She gazed up at her father and said, “Daddy, did anyone ever tell you that you’re the most wonderful and smartest man in the world?”

Her father, filled with pride said, “Why no, honey, they haven’t.”

“Then where did you get the idea?” She asked.

~~~

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.

~~~

She said: Co-workers sympathized as my mother, Claire, complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture.

“Claire, dear, why didn’t you wait ’till your husband got home?” someone asked.

“I suppose I could of….” my mother told the group, “but, the couch is easier to move if he’s not on it.

~~~

“If we cannot live so as to be happy, Let us least live so as to deserve it.”

Immanuel Hermann Fichte

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Great morning ahead


“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”

Mahatma Gandhi

good-people

I have a busy morning. Two breakfast meetings followed by an early lunch. I am sure that by the time I get home I will be ready to nap. The good news is that I will spend some time with a smart author friend, followed by a meeting with two of my favorite people, a University administrator and the Executive Director of a highly regarded service organization. It will all be capped off by my brunching with an actress friend who recently closed a major musical where she received rave reviews. Her life in the professional theatre has made her someone special and I am lucky that she has allowed me to be her friend.

‘Tis the season to be jolly but even better it is the season to enjoy time with friends. As I have thought about the folks I will see today I am reminded of how they have made a difference in the lives of the many people they have touched, I know because I am one of them. It is in that spirit that I share the following with you today:

 

   The Power of One

     Author Unknown

One song can spark a moment

One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest

One bird can herald spring

One smile begins a friendship

One handclasp lifts a soul

One star can guide a ship at sea

One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation

One sunbeam lights a room

One candle wipes out darkness

One laugh will conquer gloom

One step must start each journey

One word must start a prayer

One hope will raise our spirits

One touch can show you care

One voice can speak with wisdom

One heart can know what is true

One Life can make a difference

~~~

When you believe in what you’re doing and use your imagination and initiative, you can make a difference.

Samuel Dash

~~~

This is a conversation that took place between a person(Y) in the public and a marketing guy(X).

X: Which shaving cream do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X: Which aftershave do you use?

Y: Baba’s X: Which deodorant do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X: Which toothpaste do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X: Which shampoo do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X: Which vests do you use?

Y: Baba’s

X(Frustrated): O.k. tell me, What is this Baba?    Is it an international company???

Y: No, He is my room-mate.

~~~

My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they’re just jealous because they don’t have pajamas with feet.

Tom Sims

~~~

PRISON VS BEING A HOUSEWIFE

In prison you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.

In prison you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle. At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can’t sleep without his latest Lego creation.

In prison you get to watch TV, cable even. At home you get to listen your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison you can read whatever you want and attend college for free. At home you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up. At home you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison you get your own personal toilet. At home you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done so you can do something for them.

In prison the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes. At home you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else’s, and get yelled at because somebody’s favorite shirt isn’t clean.

In prison they take you everywhere you need to go. At home you take everybody else where they need to go.

In prison there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t. At home….stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?

~~~

A mouse trap placed on top of your hubby’s alarm clock will prevent him from rolling over and going back to sleep.

~~~

Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (whose habits partially blocked the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said, ‘I think I’m going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns there’.

The second guy spoke up and said, “I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there’.

The third guy said, ‘I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there’.

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet, calm voice said, ‘Why don’t you go to hell … there aren’t any nuns there’.

~~~

“Women only have two complaints: Nothing to wear and not enough closet space for it.”

~~~

Several American nurses were receiving specialized training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. These nurses had little money for meals, so they ate the awful food provided at the hospital complex. Sometimes kindly visitors would give them some of the treats they had brought for patients who had not wanted to eat them.

One night a woman brought a pie to the kitchen and said to one of the nurses,

“Would you eat this up, love?”   So she and another American student nurse devoured every delicious crumb!

Soon the woman returned, however, and asked…..”Is me ‘usband’s pie ‘ot yet, dearie?”

~~~

Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.

Barbara De Angelis

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Something worth thinking about

“It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly.”

Bertrand Russell

enjoy-life-file

Here are excerpts from an article written by Angel Chernoff that I think is worth reading before we make our New Year’s resolutions. I fhink we all would be a lot happier if we were not so focused on the acquisition of things and position and spent more time on seeing the value of what is already available to us,

The Search for Happiness Causes Misery

You can’t find something that’s already here with you.  Happiness exists in this moment.  It’s not something you need to find.  That’s like trying to find the oxygen you’re breathing right now.

In reality, it’s the tension of your mind that causes unhappiness.  If you’re not happy, it’s because your mind is focused on something that’s making you unhappy.  And why is your mind doing this?  Because you’re stuck in a vicious cycle of misdirected judgment, productivity and purpose that has you thinking about every imaginable time and place, except right here, right now.  The problem occurs when you base your entire reason for living on a point in time – an activity or achievement – that doesn’t yet exist. 

When we place all of our happiness on the idea of ‘getting’ something, checking off items on a to-do list, or achieving a future goal, we’re fooling ourselves.  And we never stop to think that it might be all the chasing that’s making us miserable.  We’re too distracted with trying to win the game.  As soon as we beat one level and see some success, we’re instantly in a hurry to upgrade our search and move on to the next level.  We never stop to think that it’s not the failure to win the game that causes our grief, but the game itself.

We neglect to realize that sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem.  Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to simply stand still and breathe.

Sometimes…

◾The smartest way to be happy with the place you live is to stop chasing the mansion you see on HGTV with five bedrooms, a pool, a fireplace, and a three-car garage.

◾The best way to solve the problem of not having lots of friends is to stop worrying about having more, and instead appreciate the few good ones you do have.

◾The simplest way to be content with yourself is not to achieve high admiration and praise from others, but to accept yourself fully for who you are now.

◾The quickest route to happiness is to stop the pursuit of finding happiness and start the process of being happiness.

By letting go a little we immediately release ourselves of the grasping tension of the mind.  But it’s not easy to stay in this mindset (the mind loves to hold on); it’s something we have to constantly cultivate.

It’s especially difficult when society tends to place more value on things and status, than on experiences.  We are told to value what we do more than how we feel.  This is complete nonsense when you think about it.  The way you feel is far more important than what you own or how others perceive you.  Isn’t the purpose of everything you do to feel good?  Isn’t the purpose of that new gold watch, that important job title, or college degree to give you a feeling of accomplishment?  Aren’t these things supposed to make you happy?

The problem with this is we’re basing our happiness on fleeting things and events.  We’re deriving our joy from an acquisition or an achievement.  This isn’t true, lasting happiness; it’s an addiction.  We get a short burst of endorphins to our bloodstream from our new big screen TV, or new iPhone, or new title on our business cards, and then what happens?  It disappears.  It leaves us feeling empty and we begin looking for our next fix.

~~~

“To be content with little is difficult; to be content with much, impossible.”

Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

~~~

“Hey, Judi, how’d your ski weekend go?” Monika asked.

“The good news was I shared the cabin with these two drop dead gorgeous men!”

“Oooo!  That must have been wonderful!  What’s the bad news?”

“They were engaged to each other.”

~~~

Do nothing, and nothing happens. Do something, and something happens.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Max had lived in the city all his life, but tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer

Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, “Chicken farming isn’t easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I’ll give you 100 chickens.”

Max was thrilled. Two weeks later the new neighbor stopped by to see how things were going.

Max said, “Not too good. All 100 chickens died.”

His neighbor said, “Oh, I can’t believe that. I’ve never had any trouble with my chickens. I’ll give you 100 more.”

Another two weeks went by and the second 100 chickens died too.”

Astounded, the neighbor asked, “what went wrong? What did you do to them?”

Well, says Max, “I’m not sure whether I’m planting them too deep or not far apart enough.”

~~~

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

~~~

She said: When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text. “I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life,” he told the audience. “She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice.”

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, looking up with a sly grin he said, “It’s really hard to read my mom’s handwriting.”

~~~

Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times.

Rita Rudner

~~~

Lunching with a friend in a fast-food restaurant, I was telling her about a teenager who had rear-ended my car. The teen blamed me for the accident. “She even called me every dirty name in the book!” I said.

Just then I looked over to the next table where two nine-year-old boys had apparently been paying close attention to my story. One said to the other, “There’s a book?”

~~~

While we ponder when to begin, it becomes too late to do.

Quintilian

~~~

“Simplicity involves unburdening your life, and living more lightly with fewer distractions that interfere with a high quality life, as defined uniquely by each individual.”

Linda Breen Pierce.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We get another chance

“However long the night, the dawn will break.”

African Proverb

30

As the year winds down many of us will take stock of how the year has been. I, like most people have some good memories and some that are not so good. Most of the unpleasant stuff was due to the unavoidable medical setbacks that come from aging. But some of my fond memories come from how much I appreciate the folks who provide me medical care.

I also appreciate the many positive minutes I spent with friends and family. I am particularly grateful for having attended so many quality entertainment offerings in my city, especially those provided by professional actor friends. While I do miss participating in as many projects and seminars as I have in the past the ones that I did participate in were especially rewarding. Of course as usual my days were brightened by the friendship offered by so many of you.

Some years ago Brian Dyson, the then CEO of Coca-Cola wrote the following that I think we should all think about as we plan how we will live in the year ahead. I do appreciate all of you and look forward to the months ahead.

Juggle Balls

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?

◾Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

◾Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

◾Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

◾Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

◾Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

◾Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us each together.

◾Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

◾Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

◾Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

◾Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

◾Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

◾Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

~~~

“One’s doing well if age improves even slightly one’s capacity to hold on to that vital truism: “This too shall pass.”

Alain de Botton

~~~

Lawyer: Tell us about the fight.

Witness: I didn’t see no fight.

Lawyer: Well, tell us what you did see.

Witness: I went to a dance at the Turner house, and as the men swung around and changed partners, they would slap each other, and one fellow hit harder than the other one liked, and so the other one hit back and somebody pulled a knife and someone else drew a six-shooter and another guy came up with a rifle that had been hidden under a bed, and the air was filled with yelling and smoke and bullets.

Lawyer: You, too, were shot in the fracas?

Witness: No sir, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

~~~

I’m convinced that in a past life I was somebody named Occupant, and they’re still forwarding my mail.

~~~

WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW BEFORE I HAD KIDS

* Which lines of The Cat in the Hat and If I Ran the Circus can be skipped over without a child noticing.

* How bright a 3 a.m. full moon is.

* The design marvels of hooded towels, Velcro-strap shoes and mitten clips.

* Locations of public restrooms all across town.

* Why anyone would bother retracing their steps for miles just to retrieve a lost blankie.

* That tigers live in the trees in our backyard.

* How to open a van door while bobbling 2 lunch boxes, two extra coats, a purse, a diaper bag and a baby.

* That solid white socks get lost in the dryer at a much slower rate than do the mates of patterned socks that coordinate to special outfits.

* How little sleep a human body truly needs to function.

* Almost every Disney lyric ever penned.

* That one can never own too many sippy cup lids or refrigerator magnets.

* Scientific names of dinosaurs from A to Z.

* That reverse psychology really works.

* The distinctive sounds of Cheerios crunching underfoot.

* How far you can dilute juice and still retain it’s taste.

* The blessedness of naps, the inviolate importance of routines.

* How much you could love one human being!

~~~

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”

Eddie Cantor

~~~

A little old lady told a friend of mine the other day, when they were standing in line together, that all she had ever wanted in life was four animals.

My friend, who has a large dog, and a big heart for strays said, “Oh really, what kind of animals do you want?”

The little old lady replied, “A mink on my back, a Jaguar in my garage, a tiger in my bed, and a jackass to pay for all of it!”

~~~

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Sally Berger

~~~

She said:

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone. I turned to my husband and asked, “Would you like me to call the funeral home now?”

With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, “Honey, he’s not that sick!”

~~~

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”

Elizabeth Edwards

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Who are you really?

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations  and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

Bruce Lee

!    Be-Yourself.-No-one.jpg

Winter has been hiding from us here in Indiana but it has decided to come out of hiding but it still remains unseasonably moderate. I hope I haven’t triggered a change for the worse.

The other day I read an article by Mark Chernoff that I think has a lot of merit. I believe that far too many of us compulsively try to please everyone or equally as bad try to make others change to please ourselves. Too many of us in effect give who we are try to become what we are not. I honestly think that living the happy life results from know yourself and then spending your time just being you.

I have abridged Chernoff’s article because of its length but have retained all his points. Oh and by the way I like you the way you are when you daon’t try to be someone else.

7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others

The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations.  This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others. Which means it’s time to…

  1. Stop expecting them to agree with you. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about.  Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that.  You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours.  In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else.
  2. Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself. True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it.  Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.
  3. Stop expecting (and needing) them to like you. You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your worth.  Spend time with those who value you.  No matter how good you are to people, there will always be one negative person who criticizes you.  Smile, ignore them, and carry on.
  4. Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are. Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves. When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate THEM.
  5. Stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking. People can’t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.  Your boss?  Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet.  That cute guy you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy?  Yeah, you guessed it, he hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given him the time of day either.

In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively.  And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words.  You have to tell people what you’re thinking.  It’s as simple as that.

  1. Stop expecting them to suddenly change. If there’s a specific behavior someone you care about has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.

For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try.  Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them.

  1. Stop expecting them to be “OK.” Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle, just like you. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.

~~~

“There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.”

Steve Maraboli

~~~

HELPFUL LIFE HINTS

  • If you’re bidding on a job for UPS, don’t send your bid by FedEx.
  • If your computer says, “Printer out of Paper,” this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the “OK” button.
  • When your PC says “You have mail,” don’t go to the company mail room and look for a package.
  • If you’re in the armed services, and it’s April 1st, and you get an e-mail message to call Colonel Sanders for new orders, don’t.
  • If you go to the computer store to buy a mousepad, you don’t have to specify whether it’s for a Windows or a Macintosh.

~~~

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

~~~

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, “Sorry about that.  I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The second old guy says, “That’s OK.  It’s a coincidence.  I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

The first old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?”

The second old guy says, “Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?”

To which the first old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, — let’s look for yours.”

~~~

When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’

Sydney J. Harris

~~~

Joe went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said. “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I’m sure that there’s somebody under it. I haven’t slept in a week. I’m going crazy.”

“Come to me three times a week and I’ll cure your fears.”

“How much do you charge”?

“A hundred dollars per visit.”

Six months later, the doctor met Joe on the street.

“Why didn’t you ever come to see me again”?

“A bartender cured me for $10. He told me to cut the legs off the bed!”

~~~

The person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday.

~~~

Growing up as a kid, I learned all about capitalism through the board game Monopoly. I mean, what better way to teach a young mind the way our economy functions. I loved this game and still do. Only now, as an adult I have some questions that remain unanswered.   For instance, if I have all this money and own all this real estate…why am I still driving around in a thimble?

~~~

Why must the phrase, “It is none of my business,” always be followed by the word “but”?

~~~

A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-six-year-old woman because her hand signals were confusing.

“First you put your hand up, like you’re turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left,” said the officer.

“I decided not to turn right,” she explains.

“Then why the up and down?” asks the officer.

“Officer,” she sniffs, “I was erasing!”

~~~

The essential lesson I’ve learned in life is to just be yourself. Treasure the magnificent being that you are and recognize first and foremost you’re not here as a human being only. You’re a spiritual being having a human experience.

Wayne Dyer

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Thanks for the memories

The best memory is that which forgets nothing, but injuries.

Write kindness in marble and write injuries in the dust.

Persian Proverb

thank-you-for-good-timess

I had a full day yesterday and am off to she a Doctor first thing this morning so let’s see what I can dig up from the archives.

Ray’s Daily first published on December 2, 2004

As you know the news is not always good. Each day one or more of us has to carry a heavy burden. I hope that we all do what we can to share the load, or at least provide empathy to those who must deal with tragedy in their lives.

Yesterday I just got an e-mail from a friend who just lost her brother to cancer at too young an age. My friend shared her brother’s almost intolerable agony as his life slipped away over a long period of time. I also recently heard from an old friend’s daughter that her dad has inoperable lung cancer and is terminal, this on top of her mother dying of cancer not that many months ago. Not only that, she told me that her brother’s son is fighting a brain tumor. This family has been friends of ours for nearly 50 years, when we lived in the same city they were our brothers and sisters. They deserve better.

My heart goes out to those who are suffering and to those who suffer with them as they watch loved ones battle for their very lives. I never have adequate words to express just how much I wish that they did not have to go through these terrible life experiences. It is a time when our friends probably need us most. While it is not too much fun to put your arm around someone who is sharing the pain of a loved one, there is no better time to show them that we care. As we reach the end of another year I hope that these wonderful caregivers will find life a little better in the months ahead.

Each of us experience pain and joy as life goes on. At least we have been given the memories of the good years, years that those we have lost would most like to be remembered. It is up to us to remember the past while making the best of the future. I wish us all well.

~~~

Every man’s memory is his private literature.

Aldous Huxley

~~~

A couple went to pay a visit to another couple, unannounced.

The wife answered the door.  “Come in,” she said.

The other couple came in, sat down, then asked, “Where’s Jack?”

“Oh,” replied his wife, “he’s in the bathroom, grouting and spackling.”

“Oh, dear,” said the other lady, “I had that once and didn’t get over it for two weeks.”

~~~

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

~~~

Here is some more about where I live.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE FROM INDIANA WHEN:

You think the state Bird is Larry.

You can say “French Lick” without laughing out loud.

There’s actually a college near you named “Ball State.”

You know Batesville is the casket-making capital of the world and you’re proud of it.

You could never figure out spring forward-fall back, so screw Daylight Savings Time!

Down south to you means Kentucky.

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing Terre Haute.

Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

You know what the phrase “knee-high by the Fourth of July” means.

You’ve heard of Euchre, you know how to play Euchre, and you are a master of Euchre.

Detassling was your first job. Bailing hay, your second. Or you could stack hay, swim in the pond to clean off and then have the strength to play a couple of games of hoops, all in the same barn lot on the same day.

You say things like catty-wampus and kitty corner and know what they mean.

You install security lights on your house and garage, then leave them both unlocked.

You drink pop. You catch frogs at the crick. If you want someone to hear you, you holler at ’em.

You know that baling wire was the predecessor to duct tape.

You know that strangers are the only ones who come to your front door.

You think nothing of driving on the roads and being stuck behind a farm implement in spring and fall. You just hope it’s not a hog truck or a manure spreader.

High school basketball games draw bigger crowds on the weekend than movie theaters, If you have a movie theater.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six for local sports.

You can repeat the scores of the last eight NBA games, but unless the MVP is a Hoosier, you are not sure who he is.

You can see at least two basketball hoops from your yard.

Indianapolis is the BIG CITY.

Getting stuck by a train is a legitimate excuse for being late to school or work.

Everyone knows who the town cops are, where they live, and whether they’re at home or on duty.

You’ve been to the Covered Bridge Festival. And you took back roads to get there. Why sit in traffic?

To you, tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded, & fried piece of pork served on a bun with pickle.

You end your sentences with prepositions, as in “Where’s it at?” or “Where’s he going to?”

~~~

Ever once in a while, take the scenic route.

~~~

An elderly couple were sitting together watching television. During one of the commercials, the husband asked his wife, “Whatever happened to our sexual relations?”

After a long, thoughtful silence, the wife replied, during the next commercial, “You know, I don’t even think we got a Christmas card from them this year.”

~~~

Mr. Allen, a high-powered executive trying to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, “Miss Hunter, get my broker!”

The client was impressed until he heard the secretary’s clear voice saying, “Yes, sir, stock or pawn!”

~~~

A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.

Clifton Fadiman

~~~

He was a good man but a bit stingy.  He would bargain and haggle on a price, never paying the price asked.  He especially hated paying his medical fees. One day, while eating fish, a bone became lodged in his throat and within minutes he could scarcely breathe.  His wife frantically calls the family doctor, who arrived just as the patient’s face was turning blue. The physician quickly removed the bone with a pair of forceps.

After he was breathing normally again, although overwhelmed with gratitude to the doctor for saving his life, he began to worry about the medical fees.

Trying his best to keep his costs down & down play the whole episode, he turns to the good doctor and asks, “So, doc, how much do I owe you for that small two-minute job?”

The doctor, who knew his patient’s miserly habit all too well, replies,

“Just pay me half of what you would have when the bone was still stuck in your throat!”

~~~

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

~~~

It was a terrible night, blowing cold and snow in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when a little Jewish man slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet, freezing, and bedraggled.

As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, “May I have two poppy seed bagels to go, please?”

The baker said in astonishment, “Two bagels? Nothing more?”

“That’s right,” answered the little man. “One for me and one for Sherry.”

“Sherry is your wife?” asked the baker.

“What did you think,” snapped the little man, “that my mother would send me out on a night like this?”

~~~

When the heart grieves over what is has lost, The spirit rejoices over what it has left.

Sufi Epigram

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Thanks for being here

We all need each other.

Leo Buscaglia

we-need-eachother

I have been distressed by the recent rash of demonstrations of hate that seem to be growing around us. Hate messages written on churches, threatening letters sent to religious organizations as well as racial and ethnic threats seem to be growing.

This is not a time for rampant intolerance rather it is a time when we need to stay focused on peace on earth and goodwill towards others. Anything less can take us to a disastrous place. Thankfully I sincerely believe we are better people than we sometimes appear to be, That belief is due in no small part to observing what so many of you do as you spread kindness to others.

The following offers hope, the last paragraph reminded me of the value each of you brings to our table.

An Angel Wrote …

From the Kindness Blog

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head, To handle others, use your heart.

Anger is one letter short of danger.

If someone betrays you once, it’s his fault. If they betray you twice, it’s your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.

God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.

He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.

Friends, you and me…you brought another friend, and then there were 3. We started our group…Our circle of friends…and like that circle, there is no beginning…there is no end.

~~~

We need each other, deeper than anyone ever dares to admit even to themselves. I think it is a genetic imperative that we huddle together and hold on to each other. There is no question in my mind that there is nothing else in life, really, than friendship.

Patch Adams

~~~

A man was driving through west Texas one spring evening. The road was deserted and he had not seen a soul for what seemed like hours. Suddenly his car started to cough and splutter and the engine slowly died away, leaving him sitting on the side of the road in total silence.

He popped the hood and looked to see if there was anything that he could do to get it going again. Unfortunately, he had a limited knowledge of cars, so all he could do was look at the engine, feeling despondent As he stood looking at the gradually fading light of his flashlight, he cursed that he had not put in new batteries, like he had promised himself.

Suddenly, through the inky shadows, came a deep voice, “It’s your fuel pump.” The man raised up quickly, striking his head on the underside of the hood. “Who said that?” he demanded. There were two horses standing in the fenced field alongside the road and the man was amazed when the nearest of the two horses repeated, “It’s your fuel pump. Tap it with your flashlight, and try it again.” Confused, the man tapped the fuel pump with his flashlight, turned the key and sure enough, the engine roared to life. He muttered a short thanks to the horse and screeched away.

When he reached the next town, he ran into the local bar. “Gimme a large whiskey, please!” he said. A rancher sitting at the bar looked at the man’s ashen face and asked, “What’s wrong, man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” “It’s unbelievable,” the man said and recalled the whole tale to the rancher.

The rancher took a sip of his beer and looked thoughtful. “A horse, you say? Was it by any chance a white horse?”

The man replied to the affirmative. “Yes, it was! Am I crazy?”

“No, you ain’t crazy. In fact, you’re lucky,” said the rancher, “because that black horse don’t know anything about cars!”

~~~

I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.

~~~

Whoever used the milk in the small plastic container that was in the refrigerator yesterday, please do NOT own up to it. I would find it forever after difficult to meet your gaze across a cafeteria table whilst having a discussion about java applets or brand identity.

Just be aware that that milk was EXPRESSLY for my son if you get my drift. I will label these things from now on, but if you found your coffee tasted just a little bit unusual this morning, you might think about calling your mom and telling her you love her.

~~~

She said: He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

~~~

A customer was really harassing and hassling an airline agent at the ticket counter — yelling and using foul language. However, the agent was polite, pleasant and smiled while the customer continued to abuse her. When the man finally left, the next person in line said to the agent,

“Geez, does that happen often? I can’t believe how nice you were to him after the way he treated you!”

The agent smiled and whispered, “No problemo! I took care of it! He’s going to Detroit…….his bags, however, heh heh, are going to Bangkok.”

~~~

“I’m Jewish but not very religious…I go to Temple twice a year.  Christmas and Easter.”

Jeffery Ross

~~~

My wife and I were comparing notes the other day, “I have a higher IQ, did better on my SATs and make more money than you,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead,” I said.

She looked mystified. “How do you figure?”

“I married better,” I replied.

~~~

And then she told me that I had delusions of adequacy.

~~~

On a visit to my wife’s native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London’s Gatwick Airport.  Tania headed for the British-passport control line while I, an American, waited in the foreigners’ line.  When my turn came, the customs officer asked me the purpose of my visit.        “Pleasure,” I replied. “I’m on my honeymoon.”        The officer looked first to one side of me, then the other.  “That’s very interesting, sir,” he said as he stamped my passport.  “Most men bring their wives with them.”

~~~

It may be that it is not given to us to know when we are angels. We may only be given to know when others are. This may be one of the reasons we need each other so.

Michael Ventura

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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