Ray's musings and humor

Bless the kind

The brightest stars are those who shine for the benefit of others.

kindness

I had another one of those slowdown days yesterday. I ended up putting a number of plans on hold as I treated an early stage cold. I am hoping for a quick recovery as the upcoming holidays include a number of activities.

In the spirit of Christmas and the role we all can play I would like to share with you the following old favorite story.

Am I An Angel? No, No

by: Phyllis Murphy

I was catching a later flight to St. Louis, then on to Minnesota. A couple of seats in front and the aisle over sat a very pretty lady. She smiled back at me, I smiled at her noticing her pretty floral dress.

 The rest of the flight was uneventful, but as I was getting off the plane I noticed her again standing by the prompters seeing what flight she was to take and what gate. I stood beside her looking for my gate, and flight number. I commented to her that I had noticed her on the flight to St. Louis and she had on a pretty dress. She said “Thank you”, I asked what flight she was taking? She said to “Phoenix”. I looked and she had a two-hour layover, I also had a two and a half hours layover and asked her if she would like to go to the cafeteria for something to eat or drink. She said “Sure”. We introduced ourselves on the way down the ramp, and she told me that her name was “Phyllis”. I laughed and said “my name is Phyllis also”.

As we sat in the booth she began telling me that she had been told she was dying of cancer and had less than 6 months to live. She was on her way to visit her children and grandchildren before she began taking treatment. She then told me that she had never flown before and she had prayed a specific prayer. She was afraid she would get lost at the airport and not be able to find her way to the gate, and didn’t know what she was going to do for the two hours she was there. She prayed that someone would meet her at the gate and stay with her until she left the airport. She then asked me “Are you an Angel God has sent”? No, I assured her I was no angel, but did God use me to answer her prayer? Yes.

~~~

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Maya Angelou

~~~

The boyfriend said, “We’re going to have a GREAT time Saturday.  I’ve gotten three tickets for the big game.”

“Why do we need three?” asked the girl.

“They’re for your Father, Mother, and kid sister.” he replied.

~~~

I got my IQ test results back, they were negative.

~~~

The officer pulled me over for speeding.  I explained that I was rushing home to be with my wife on our first anniversary.

But rather than letting me off, he wrote out the ticket, handed it to me, and said, “Congratulations.  The first year is paper, right?”

~~~

When you learn not to want things so badly, life comes to you.

Jessica Lange

~~~

*A Man’s Guide to What A Woman Is Really Saying*

I JUST NEED SOME SPACE…..  without you in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?… we haven’t had a fight in a while.

NO, PIZZA’S FINE…..  you cheap slob!

I JUST DON’T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW…. I just don’t want you as a boyfriend now.

I DON’T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?… I can’t believe you have nothing planned.

I LIKE YOU, BUT…… I don’t like you.

YOU NEVER LISTEN…. you never listen.

I’LL BE READY IN A MINUTE…. I’m ready, but I’m going to make you wait because I know you will.

OH, NO, I’LL PAY FOR MYSELF…. I’m just being nice; there’s no way I’m going dutch!!

~~~

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

~~~

A little son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first time the rite of baptism by immersion. He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize his three cats in the bathtub.

The first kitten bore it very well, and so did the young cat, but the old family cat rebelled. It struggled with him, clawed and tore him, and got away.

With considerable effort he caught it again and proceeded with the ceremony. But she acted worse than ever, clawed at him, spit, and scratched his hands and face.

Finally, after barely getting her splattered with water, he dropped her on the floor in disgust and said: “Fine, be an Atheist.”

~~~

Father grumbling to his two boys as he reluctantly gets ready for an evening out:  “Other kids make their mothers too tired to want to go out — but not you two.”

~~~

Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Houston, Texas prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a quick peek at it and address him by name.

Once, during a check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. “Welcome to Houston, Mr. Bell,” the desk clerk said.

“Oh, please,” the man replied, “call me Taco.”

~~~

On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was…surrounded by trees and bushes.

~~~

For those who never saw the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930’s and ’40’s. Before the Interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers’ fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet……and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD

TO GAIN A MINUTE

YOU NEED YOUR HEAD

YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT

Burma Shave

BROTHER SPEEDER

LET’S REHEARSE

ALL TOGETHER

GOOD MORNING NURSE

Burma Shave

SPEED WAS HIGH

WEATHER WAS NOT

TIRES WERE THIN

X MARKS THE SPOT

Burma Shave

~~~

Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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