Ray's musings and humor

Thanks for all you do

I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.

Oprah Winfrey

help

I am off the see one of my heart doctors first thing this morning so I am going to once again fall back and send you a past issue of the Daily. Have a great weekend.

Ray’s Daily first published on December 16, 2004

As most of you know I have spent much of my life working with Kiwanis members as they volunteered their time in service to others. Some of my best friendships have come from the opportunity to be with others as they “Give something back” to their communities. As the years have gone by I have watched these unsung heroes’ rock crack babies, host picnics for the mentally and physically handicapped, serve at soup kitchens and raise funds that they use to provide warm clothes to young children who would go without if someone did not help. The list is limitless.

Some of my friends like to cook for others, some enjoy reading to preschool children, and some use their hands to help repair homes for seniors. In reality there is something each of us can do, it might be volunteering at the museum, helping high schoolers run food drives, or just visiting someone who is lonely.

It is when we express our humanity by doing something for others that we feed our souls. The reward does not come in money or even recognition, it comes from the fact that someone had a better day because you were there and you cared. I wonder if the reason volunteers tend to be happy is because they volunteer, or do they volunteer because they have a happy and healthy outlook on life.

The opportunities are endless; today I visited a shop called Global Gifts a not-for-profit volunteer supported organization committed to serving artisans and producers in the developing world. It practices fair trade and ensures that artisans from developing countries are paid fairly, in advance and have healthy working conditions. They provide volunteer opportunities to help others who often live in poverty in the far reaches of the earth. This is just one example of the variety of opportunities each of us have to serve others.

~~~

Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth.

Shirley Chisholm

~~~

On the first day, God created the cow. God said, “You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I’ll give back the other forty.” And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give back the other ten.” So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day, God created the monkey. God said, entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty year life span.”

Monkey said, “How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?” And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man.

God said, “Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy doing nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I’ll give you twenty years.”

Man said, “What? Only twenty years? No way, God.

Tell you what, I’ll take the forty the cow gave back, the ten the dog gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?” “Okay,” said God. “You’ve got a deal.”

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy doing nothing.

For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.

For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren and for the last ten years, we sit around the house and bark at everybody.

~~~

When my grown children complain about the way they were raised, I always tell them that we did the best we could with what we had to work with.

~~~

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall ,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

And his winter wasn’t bad either.

~~~

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

~~~

Ralph sent us this old but good one.

A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with John and he is so nice – even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion mom, I’m pregnant and John said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!!  Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,

Judith

PS : Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home

~~~

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

~~~

My 17-year-old niece asked me if she could use my name as a reference on her resume’, which she planned to submit to a local fast-food restaurant.  I agreed.

A few days later she called and told me to meet her at the restaurant later that afternoon.  When I asked her why, she replied, “The manager wants me to come in for an interview, and she told me to bring my references.”

~~~

Never argue with a stupid person because they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!

Mark Minton

~~~

My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.  He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like.

It seems the minister asked my Mom, “Do you take this man to be your husband.” And she said, “I do.”

Then the minister asked my Dad, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,” and my Mom said, “He does.”

~~~

“It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, But only empties today of its strength.”

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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