Ray's musings and humor

Thanks Everyone

“Sometimes we spend so much time and energy thinking about where we want to go that we don’t notice where we happen to be.”

Dan Gutman,

bethankful

It will be Thanksgiving Day here in the United States in two more days. I, like many of you at this time of year reflect on the things I am grateful for in my life. Most of all I appreciate my wonderful children and grandchildren that are all healthy and doing well. They spend some of their time doing what they can to make my wife and my life comfortable.

I am also grateful to so many of you who have shared your wisdom while offering your friendship and company, helping to keep my life interesting. I also benefit from the care that I receive from a wide variety of health care professionals, I am here with you today because of them.

I am also fortunate to live in a city that provides a lively, comfortable and exciting place to live. It is that good due in no small part because of what so many of the people I know do for others. Our city has thrived because of the hearts, minds and hands offered by so many that care for others.

Yes I have a lot to be thankful for and I hope you do as well. I probably have sent you the following before but If I did it is worth reading again.

Are You Blessed?

Author Unknown

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness……….you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation…….you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep…you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace……. you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.

If your parents are still alive and still married……..you are very rare, even in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful…..you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you prayed yesterday and today……..you are in the minority because you believe God does hear and answer prayers.

If you can read now, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

~~~

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a runway at night…

Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: “Guess who?”

The controller switched the runway lights off and replied: “Guess where!”

~~~

I was so naive as a kid, I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

Johnny Carson

~~~

If you have a job sitting in front of a computer all day, you may not be getting enough exercise. If you don’t want to spend the money for those fancy exercise machines, here is a little secret for building arm and shoulder muscles.

Begin by standing with a five pound potato sack in each hand. Extend your arms straight out to your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

After a few weeks, move up to ten pound potato sacks and then fifty pound potato sacks, and finally get to where you can lift a one hundred pound potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Next, try putting potatoes in the sacks.

~~~

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

~~~

“I’d like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the young man said to the 411 operator.

“There are multiple listings for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the operator said.

“Do you happen to have a street name?”

The young man scratched his head and hesitated a minute, and then replied…..

“Well, if it will help any, my friends call me ‘Snake’.”

~~~

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

Milton Berle

~~~

What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Zen Pizza Parlor?

“Make me one with everything.”

When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said “Don’t I get change?”

The proprietor said, “Change must come from within.”

~~~

My accountant is going to put me in a fancy tax shelter: Prison.

~~~

A man in a hurry taking his 8-year old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.

“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man says.

“Aw, dad, it’s okay,” the son replies. “The poilce car behind us just did the same thing too!”

~~~

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?

Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

~~~

A blonde woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?”

The clerk says, “What denominations?”

The woman says, “God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.”

~~~

If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.

Joey Adams

~~~

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM ” He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.”

~~~

“Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours.”

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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