Ray's musings and humor

Let’s Go

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.

B. Priestley

a-great-start-of-the-day

I am on the run this morning and it is not because I am fasting but because I am off to the Heart Hospital to begin a series of tests that will take most of the morning. The big one will be a nuclear stress test that will not cause me to glow in the dark but will provide insight into what my crack cardiology Doctors will want next if anything. I have been dragging some so I do hope that they can recommend something as long as whatever it is begins with the phrase “non-invasive.”

I am looking forward to getting the medical stuff behind me as my weekend will include dinner with friends tonight and attending a professional performance of Cabaret on Sunday starring some of my favorite actor friends. I hope your weekend goes as well as mine and I will be back with you on Monday.

I dug into my “share with the readers someday” file and pulled this up for my slow starting friends.

7 Steps to Developing an Empowering Morning Routine

By Lorene Collier Purcy

Would you like to feel more in control of your day? Developing a morning routine that will boost your productivity can help you stay on top of your commitments for the day.

Consider these ideas when developing a morning routine:

  1. Avoid making any drastic changes. Begin this process slowly. Start by waking up just 15 minutes earlier than you normally would. Allow yourself to get used to this over a few days to a week before waking even earlier. Continue this gradually until your goal wake-up time is met.
  2. Allow yourself to go to sleep earlier. Staying up too late when you’re trying to get up earlier will have negative consequences. Early rising will allow you to go to sleep more easily earlier in the evening so you can work on getting up earlier.
  3. Keep your alarm clock away from your bed. If you keep your alarm clock close to your bed, you’ll hit the snooze button and destroy your chances of improving your morning routine. Keep your alarm clock at a distance so you must get out of bed to deal with it and resolve not to climb back under the covers.
  4. Leave the bedroom as soon as your alarm wakes you. Avoid rationalizing going back to bed. Make yourself leave the room. Create a habit, such as to use the restroom as soon as you get up, so you don’t convince yourself to go back to sleep. By the time you’ve used the restroom or otherwise distracted yourself, you’ll no longer be thinking about going back to bed, so you can proceed with your daily routine.
  5. Have your routine mapped out ahead of time. Plan something important to do first thing in the morning. If you have a specific task at hand early in the morning, then this will motivate you to wake up and get out of bed. It’s important to have a good reason to wake up in the morning. If you have a plan for your morning, you can slip out of bed and right into your routine.
  6. Follow the same basic routine daily. If you practice the same basic steps every day, you’ll be able to automate many of your early morning tasks to make them easier.
  7. Take advantage of your extra time. Don’t wake up earlier than usual just so you can lounge around and read Facebook updates. Avoid wasting the extra time that you’ve created in your schedule. Instead, get a jump on your day, doing tasks that are best done in the early morning, such as reading, writing, and planning for the day.

~~~

Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

Francis of Assisi

~~~

Waiter: “Tea or coffee, gentlemen?”

1st customer: “I’ll have tea.”

2nd customer: “Me, too.  And be sure the glass is clean!”

(Waiter exits, returns)

Waiter: Two teas.  “Which one asked for the clean glass?”

~~~

If you think things improve with age you have never attended a class reunion.

~~~

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter’s swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, “Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!”

The mother turned red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.

The doctor turns around and faces the window and silently watches the horizon.

The mother becomes enraged and screams, “Doctor, would you please quit looking out the window! Aren’t you paying *any* attention to me at all?”

“Yes, of course I’m paying attention, ma’am. It’s just that… the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they’d show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!”

~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~

A man, exiting a grocery store, was very surprised when a rather good-looking and perky young lady greeted him cheerfully by saying, “Good evening!” Her face was beaming. At least she was smiling until he gave her that “Who are you?” look. He couldn’t remember having ever seen her before.

Then, she obviously realized that a mistake had been made and apologized. She explained, “Oh, I’m so sorry. When I first saw you I thought you were the father of one of my children.” She walked on her way into the store.

The man was left staring dumbfounded after her. More than a bit puzzled, he thought to himself, “What is the world coming to, an attractive woman who doesn’t even keep track of what the father of her children look like. “However, he was also a bit flattered that he might resemble one of her former suitors. But, also hoped that nobody overheard her saying that she mistook him for being the father of one of her children. A bit panicked, he then thought, “Could I possibly have forgotten a relationship?” “Could it be that I really fathered a child?”

Still stunned, he walked to his car.

He did not know, of course, that she was a fifth-grade teacher at a local elementary school.

~~~

Which of my enemies told you I was paranoid?

~~~

When my printer’s type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job myself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business?”

“Actually it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied sheepishly. “We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first.”

~~~

If you want the last word in an argument, say, “You’re right.”

~~~

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

~~~

“Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny.”

George Dana Boardman

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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