Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.
It is hard for me to believe that I retired the first time more than twenty five years ago. I retired for the last time fifteen years ago. As most of us who have retired have learned the walking away from colleagues leaves a void as we are no longer spending time with our workplace friends. As time goes by old friends move away and others pass on.
In truth I have learned that the worst disease accompanying old age is loneliness. I have benefited from the fact that my hobby of collecting new friends has made my later years some of the happiest of my life.
I think I have shared with you before that we must refill the chairs occupied by our friends when they leave for if we don’t the day may come when they are all empty and we are alone.
Here are thoughts taken from a lecture by Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School on why we need to continue to make friends.
Those who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workplace friends and colleagues with new friends.
Researchers are confident that strong social bonds play an important role in protecting our long-term physical and mental health. Here are some of the lessons
- Keep making friends after you retire. Those who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workplace friends and colleagues with new friends.
- Social connections are really good for us, and loneliness kills. “People who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected,” People who are more isolated are less happy and have shorter lives.
- It’s the quality of your close relationships that matters. “High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. Having good, warm relationships was protective of our health.
- Those most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. For example, happily partnered people who suffered from physical pain were able to still keep their happy mood; those in an unhappy relationship reported their emotional pain magnified their physical pain.
- A secure relationship helps your brain. Those in relationships where they felt they could count on the other person in time of need had memories that stayed sharper longer. Even the octogenarian couples who bickered daily remained sharp “as long as they felt that they could really count on the other one when the going got tough.”
Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.
Sarah: I’ve been asked to get married hundreds of times.
Miriam: (surprised) Really?! By whom?
Sarah: My parents.
“Osborne’s Law” Variables won’t; constants aren’t.
You Know You’re A New Yorker When…
You are going home from work by subway and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the stairways at your home station.
You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas
Paying 12 dollars for cigarettes will eventually seem reasonable.
Someone passes out on the train and you think, “Why does he have to die on MY train? Now this is going to make me late for my appointment.”
You start thinking that a 500 square foot apartment is large.
Your co-worker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot house in the suburbs that was the same price as your 500 square foot apartment that you commute 15 minutes by subway to…And you think: “sucker”.
You wouldn’t dream of going to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
You know what a bodega is.
You freak out because a stranger approaches you and says hello.
You learn how to fold the New York Times in-half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passengers’ hats.
You visit friends out of town and you can’t get to sleep because the quiet freaks you out.
Having a window in your apartment is considered a luxury and not a necessity.
The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it is beer.
You’re making $90,000 and you’re just “scraping” by.
Nothing is north or south, it’s uptown or downtown.
Tolerance is the oil which takes the friction out of life.
Wilbert E. Scheer
The Rules of Chocolate…..
If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit.
Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable intake.
“Wisdom is knowing when you can’t be wise.”
Timmy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens.”
“How did you know?” his mother asked.
“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it’s printed on the bottom.”
“Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet and everyone you meet will be genuinely interested in you”
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.