Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2016

Never give up hope

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.

Samuel Smiles

! Don't give up hope.jpg

I am often accused of being unrealistically optimistic and I probably sometimes am. I do find life on the bright side to be a much more pleasant place to be than wallowing in pessimism. The great thing about being optimistic is that it allows one to retain hope.

For me hope provides the foundation that allows us to deal with the most adverse situations in a positive manner. Many times what I have hoped for a sick friend did not materialize but being hopeful eased the pain of my friends. I would rather deal with the realistic events we all have to face sometimes in our lives with a positive attitude than by helping to fuel the fires of despair.

The great thing about hope is that it is the alternative to giving up. Too many folks end up losing because they gave up too soon. Yep, hope can even cure. Here is a story that can help us understand the value of hope.

Hope

William M. Buchholz, M.D.

As I ate breakfast one morning, I overheard two oncologists conversing. One complained bitterly, “You know, Bob, I just don’t understand it. We used the same drugs, the same dosage, the same schedule and the same entry criteria. Yet I got a 22 percent response rate and you got a 74 percent. That’s unheard of for metastatic cancer. How do you do it?”

His colleague replied, “We’re both using Etoposide, Platinum, Oncovin and Hydroxyurea. You call yours EPOH. I tell my patients I’m giving them HOPE. As dismal as the statistics are, I emphasize that we have a chance.”

~~~

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul – and sings the tunes without the words – and never stops at all.

Emily Dickinson

~~~

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat.  He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror.  Being curious the man rowed over and asked, “What is the mirror for?”

“That’s my secret way to catch fish,” said the other man.

“Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat.”

“Wow! Does that really work?”

“You bet it does.”

“Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I’ll give you $30 for it.”

“Well, okay.”

After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked,  “By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?”

“You’re the sixth,” he said.

~~~

Any child who is anxious to mow the lawn is too young to do so.

Bob Phillips

~~~

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat will stop my fellow mail carriers and me from delivering junk mail.  One day, I delivered an envelope full of coupons to a home.  It was addressed to “The Smart Shopper at 729 Main Street.”

The next day the envelope was returned with this note scrawled on it: “Not at this address.”

~~~

The person who agrees with everything you say either isn’t listening to you or plans to sell you something.

Bud Holiday

~~~

Some Jewish Curses

May your bones be broken as often as the Ten Commandments.

May God answer all your prayers – and then may he mistake your worst enemy for you.

May your husband’s father marry three times so you’ll have three mothers-in-law.

May all your teeth fall out –except one, so you can have a toothache.

May a child be named after you – soon.

May the heartburn after one of your meals be strong enought to heat your home.

May you grow like an onion – with your head in the ground.

and Last but not least

I wish you everything you wish me, and everything you’ll regret not having wished me after I’ve wished you everything I wish you.

~~~

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

The afternoon was drawing to a close, and the guests were getting ready to leave.

“Mrs. Goldberg,” said one of the ladies, “I just wanted to tell you that your cookies were so delicious I ate four of them.”

“You ate five,” replied the hostess, “But who’s counting?”

~~~

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”

Mark Twain

~~~

A gal bought a brand new Car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn’t reach home in the evening and not the next day either. When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her “What Happened?”

She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, “Oh, these car designers, these people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!”

~~~

I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

~~~

A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.

“Who is this incredibly fine archer?” cried the duke. “I must find him!”

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.

“You didn’t just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the

middle, did you?” asked the duke worriedly.

“No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy.”

“That is truly astonishing,” said the duke. “I hereby admit you into my service.” The boy thanked him profusely.

“But I must ask one favor in return,” the duke continued.

“You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot.”

“Well,” said the boy, “first I fire the arrow at the tree……and then I paint the target around it.”

“`

You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world’s problems at once but don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.

Michelle Obama

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Like Yourself

Expecting perfection inevitably leads to disappointment.

Kemmy Nola

! Good enough.jpg

I sometimes think that we are our own worst enemy. Some of us have been so conditioned to strive for perfection that we are bound to regular self-criticism for our failure to reach unrealistic goals. The most effective people I know, and also the happiest are those who do not get bogged down in an excessive commitment to never making a mistake, they get on with the job and make corrections if needed along the way.

The people who understand that alright really is alright get things done and are happy in the process while the perfectionists struggle to get much accomplished while blaming themselves for their lack of success.

Here are some tips on how you can be more effective and happier with what you accomplish.

Go Easy on Yourself: 4 Tips to Help You Do What Matters in a Self-Kind Way

by Henrik Edberg

Here are 4 tips that helped me to become kinder towards myself, to get more of the most important things done and to feel better about myself and my life.

Remind yourself of the negative effects of this attitude.

To just remind yourself of how damaging being hard on yourself has been is in my experience a very effective way to replace the old habit with going easier on yourself.

Go for more human and smarter standards for yourself.

Movies, books and the people around you may push standards on you that are just pure fantasy or some kind of perfect dream. But life is life, not a fantasy or dream and to set such extremely high standards that no one can live up to just leads to what you may see as failure and disappointment in yourself and in your life.

Instead, relax a bit and accept that everything and everyone has flaws and things don’t always go as planned. Accept that you can still improve things but they will never be perfect. And realize that you won’t be rejected if things or you aren’t perfect. At least not by reasonably well-balanced human beings, like most people actually are in reality.

Focus on the positive and helpful feedback in setbacks.

It is very common to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake or fail. But it is also a very destructive habit because it can magnify one such event into something that makes you feel depressed for weeks or makes you quit altogether. So when you are hard on yourself for a failure or mistake then relax a bit and go a bit easier on yourself. Remind yourself of why this is a much better strategy to keep the motivation and self-esteem up.

And ask yourself:

  • What is one thing I can I learn from this situation?
  • How can I use what I learn from this to not make the same mistake again and to move forward in a smarter way?

Celebrate your small steps of progress.

If you are in the habit of only celebrating when you reach a big milestone or a perfect moment or two then you may lose your motivation and feel like you are never happy or arriving where you want to be.

So make a habit of celebrating your small daily and weekly successes too.

This will help you to keep the soul-tiring monotony away and help you to stay enthusiastic instead of getting more and more unmotivated until you may even consider quitting halfway to that big milestone.

~~~

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.

Marilu Henner

~~~

John, went into a convenience store to prepay for gasoline and returned with two plastic bottles of soda.

As he filled the tank, his wife opened a bottle. To her dismay it fizzed and foamed all over her lap.

Several miles down the road, John asked for his soda. Handing it to him, She warned, “Be careful. These are really over-carbonated.”

But when John opened his bottle, it barely hissed.

Eyes on the road, he nonchalantly said, “You must have gotten the one I dropped.”

~~~

A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won’t trust him to wash it.

~~~

A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. “It’s only a stone’s throw away from the beach,” he was told.

“But how will I recognize it?” asked the man.

The reply was, “It’s the one with all the broken windows.”

~~~

An attitude is contagious.  Is yours worth catching?

~~~

A man approaches a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and says,

“You know, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in this huge supermarket. Can you stay right here and talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?” she asks, suspiciously eyeing the guy.

“Because….. every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife suddenly appears out of nowhere, and right now I’m tired of looking for her!”

~~~

She told me “I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.”

~~~

A golfer asked his friend, “Why are you so late?”

The friend replied, “It’s Sunday.  I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing golf and it took 25 tosses to get it right!”

~~~

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Steven Wright

~~~

A flight attendant for a major airline, watched one day as a passenger

hopelessly overloaded with bags tried to stuff his belongings in the

overhead bin of the plane. Finally, she informed him that he would have to

check the oversized luggage. “When I fly other airlines,” he said

irritably, “I never have this problem.” She smiled and said, “Sir, when you

fly other airlines, I don’t have this problem either.”

~~~

“Sometimes it is not right to wait for the right train. Take any train instead of rotting at the station! In other words, be realistic!”

Mehmet Murat ildan

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

The world did not end

“Simply being alive is the greatest blessing we can enjoy.”

Rene Dubos.

this-too-shall-pass

Over the years I have often found myself saying at a time of adversity that “the world did not end and this too will pass.” And almost always believing that has freed me from the anxiety that so often accompanies negative events. Unfortunately far too many of us pile on mountains of stressful moments letting things of little consequence overwhelm us. Trust me when something goes wrong the world will pay little attention, the sun will rise tomorrow and bring with it new opportunities to make things better.

Here is a story that offers how wise patience is in life.

We’ll See

Author Unknown

     Once upon a time, there was a farmer in the central region of China. He didn’t have a lot of money and, instead of a tractor, he used an old horse to plow his field.

     One afternoon, while working in the field, the horse dropped dead. Everyone in the village said, “Oh, what a horrible thing to happen.” The farmer said simply, “We’ll see.” He was so at peace and so calm, that everyone in the village got together and, admiring his attitude, gave him a new horse as a gift.

     Everyone’s reaction now was, “What a lucky man.” And the farmer said, “We’ll see.”

     A couple days later, the new horse jumped a fence and ran away. Everyone in the village shook their heads and said, “What a poor fellow!”

     The farmer smiled and said, “We’ll see.”

     Eventually, the horse found his way home, and everyone again said, “What a fortunate man.”

     The farmer said, “We’ll see.”

     Later in the year, the farmer’s young boy went out riding on the horse and fell and broke his leg. Everyone in the village said, “What a shame for the poor boy.”

     The farmer said, “We’ll see.”

     Two days later, the army came into the village to draft new recruits. When they saw that the farmer’s son had a broken leg, they decided not to recruit him.

     Everyone said, “What a fortunate young man.”

     The farmer smiled again – and said “We’ll see.”

     Moral of the story: There’s no use in overreacting to the events and circumstances of our everyday lives. Many times what looks like a setback, may actually be a gift in disguise. And when our hearts are in the right place, all events and circumstances are gifts that we can learn valuable lessons from.

     As Fra Giovanni once said:

     “Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty, believe me… the gift is there and the wonder of an overshadowing presence.”

~~~

Courage doesn’t always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice  at the end of the day, saying,  “I will try again tomorrow.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

Jack and Jill were watching a TV show one night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he was “cheating” on her.

Jack asked, “Would you ever do that?”

Jill said, “Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.”

~~~

Don’t ask me why, but old women, for some reason, just don’t look right to me when I see them in a thong or using cell phones.

~~~

Drivers

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston

One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California. With gun in lap: L.A.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle.

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male.

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70 mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male.

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female.

Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another’s car: Colorado.

One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn’t hit other motorists so as not to litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.

Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia male.

Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel: Las Vegas.

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida “seasoned citizen” driver, also known as “no-see-um.”

Two hands on the wheel, driving forty-five in a seventy mph zone in the left lane, with the left turn signal on, and making a right turn: New Mexico resident.

~~~

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.

Socrates

~~~

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

~~~

My mama always said we were put on this earth to help others. My question is, what are the others here for?

~~~

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. “Do you need some help”? I asked.

She replied, “I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery for this”?

“Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too”? I asked.

“No, just this remote thingy,” she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, “Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk.”

~~~

“Be glad of  life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.”

Henry Van Dyke

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We need each other

Hear me, four quarters of the world – a relative I am! Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is! Give me the eyes to see and the strength to understand, that I may be like you. With your power only can I face the winds.

Black Elk

(1863-1950) Oglala Sioux holy man

all-in-this-together

I had a full day yesterday that wore me out so I decided to concentrate my energy on resting so you guessed it, another Daily from yesteryear.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 16, 2005

I was talking to a friend, a daily reader, at a Foreign Affairs dinner the other evening. I mentioned that recently we have had a number of new people join our list including someone from New Zealand and a few from Australia. He commented on how much our family of readers has grown. He said “do you realize that you have made friends you will never see?” Of course I said I did.

Since then I have been thinking about what he said and how we have our daily communication in common. We may never see each other but I know you are there and that gives me pleasure, almost as much as I get when you let me know what’s happening in your life.

We live in different parts of the world, we practice many religions, and our education levels run the gamut from school drop outs to PHD’s. Some of us work in government, some humanitarians, and many of us are businessmen and women. We work in hospitals, we are cooks and chefs, we are teachers, artists, performers, and laborers. There are few things that are not done by one or more of us. We are retirees, housewives, students, parents, brothers, sisters, neighbors, and citizens.

We share a zest for life, a belief in ourselves, and know that in our own way we make a difference. Just think, there are hundreds of us each day who make a difference, it might be the smile we give to a stranger, a child that allows us to share a little of their time, or one of the other hundreds of ways we enrich our lives by enriching the lives of others. We dream, we have fun, and most of all we care and share. As you know a sunset is always more beautiful when it is seen and shared with another. And you know what? We share what we do each day knowing that others of us are out there also doing what they can. We may not be able to hold hands but we can share our spirit. And as Black Elk said, “Hear me, four quarters of the world – a relative I am!” And so my brothers and sisters, thanks for being who you are and thanks for being there.

~~~

The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.

Frederick Buechner

~~~

The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang.

“You must answer the telephone,” he told her irritably.

“All right,” she replied, “but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it’s for you!”

~~~

If I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? For that matter, how come wrong numbers are never busy?

~~~

Church Bulletin Bloopers

– The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

– Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

– The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

– Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

– A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

– At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice

~~~

All I Ask Is a Chance to Prove That Money Can’t Make Me Happy.”

~~~

The Hebrew people were sitting around Mt. Sinai. You could hear only a subdued murmur among them, but you could feel the tension in the air.

For hours now, Moses had been on top of the mountain, hidden from their gaze by clouds wafting around its top. Sometimes the clouds became dark and you could hear thunder rolling down. In spite of the warm weather, this caused a shudder among the waiting mass. The end of day was approaching and dusk was beginning to set in when suddenly a figure came through the clouds and walked down the steep mountainside carrying a heavy load. It was Moses. Moses set down his load and raised his hands.

“Friends,” he said. “Friends, it was hard work and I have done my best. I have negotiated with Him. I used every possible argument, every trick I could think of—and I think I was successful. The good news is: I brought him down from 15 to 10. The bad news is: Adultery is still in.”

~~~

“A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words, But It Uses Up a Thousand Times the Memory.”

~~~

An elderly gentleman is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you passage into heaven?

The old man says, “No problem,” as he recounts to St. Peter that he once stopped at an intersection and saw a motorcycle gang harassing a young woman. He got out of his car, walked up to one of the bikers, who was over seven feet tall and must have weighed nearly 400 pounds, and told the biker that abusing and harassing a woman is a cowardly act and that he would not tolerate it in his presence. He then reached up, yanked out his nose ring and kicked him in the groin to make a point.

St. Peter is frantically searching the man’s life in his book in front of him and says, “I can’t find that incident anywhere in your file. When did that happen?”

The old man looks down at his watch and says, “Oh, about five minutes ago.”

~~~

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

~~~

A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans.   Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to everyone else, she asked her husband, “Honey, do these jeans make me look like the side of the house?”

“No, dear, not at all,” he replied, “Our house isn’t blue.”

~~~

Life would be much easier if I had the source code.

~~~

Billy called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.

“But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mother said it was irreplaceable.”

~~~

A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves.

~~~

A man with a nagging secret couldn’t keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked.

“How much material did you take?” his priest asked.

“Enough to build my own house, and enough for my son’s house, and houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake.”

“This is very serious,” the priest said. “I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?”

“No, Father, I haven’t,” the man replied. “But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber.”

~~~

Responsibility does not only lie with the leaders of our countries or with those who have been appointed or elected to do a particular job. It lies with each of us individually. Peace, for example, starts within each one of us. When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us.

Dalai Lama

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Are you enjoying the ride?

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.

Dale Carnegie

appreciatelife

As I look back on my life I realize that I have much to be thankful for. My wife, my children and the times we spent together as the kids were growing up has filled a memory book with happy moments. I have visited many countries around the world encountering good people that provided pleasing instants to remember. I have been fortunate enough to have worked with and met numerous special people who enhanced my life through their friendships,

I just wish as I look back that I had appreciated and savored each moment more than I often did. But generally I realized throughout my life that what I did have was worth enjoying. Thank goodness that I realize that even now my life is good. I hope you appreciate your experiences as well.

Here is a story that I like, it reminds me of how important it is that we recognize our valuable moments.

The Best Time Of My Life

by Joe Kemp

It was June 15, and in two days I would be turning thirty. I was insecure about entering a new decade of my life and feared that my best years were now behind me. My daily routine included going to the gym for a workout before going to work. Every morning I would see my friend Nicholas at the gym. He was seventy-nine years old and in terrific shape. As I greeted Nicholas on this particular day, he noticed I wasn’t full of my usual vitality and asked if there was anything wrong. I told him I was feeling anxious about turning thirty. I wondered how I would look back on my life once I reached Nicholas’s age, so I asked him, “What was the best time of your life?”

Without hesitation, Nicholas replied, “Well, Joe, this is my philosophical answer to your philosophical question:

“When I was a child in Austria and everything was taken care of for me and I was nurtured by my parents, that was the best time of my life.

“When I was going to school and learning the things I know today, that was the best time of my life.

“When I got my first job and had responsibilities and got paid for my efforts, that was the best time of my life.

“When I met my wife and fell in love, that was the best time of my life.

“The Second World War came, and my wife and I had to flee Austria to save our lives. When we were together and safe on a ship bound for North America, that was the best time of my life.

“When we came to Canada and started a family, that was the best time of my life.

“When I was a young father, watching my children grow up, that was the best time of my life.

“And now, Joe, I am seventy-nine years old. I have my health, I feel good and I am in love with my wife just as I was when we first met. This is the best time of my life.”

~~~

Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don’t look at it and wish you had painted something different.

Author Unknown

~~~

You might be from Las Vegas If…..

* – You no longer associate bridges with water.

* – You can say 110 degrees without fainting.

* – You can make instant sun tea.

* – You learn that a seat belt makes a good branding iron.

* – The temperature drops below 85, and you feel a bit chilled.

* – You discover you can get a sunburn through your car window.

* – You notice the best parking place is determined by shade, not distance.

* – Hot water comes out of both taps.

* – You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

* – No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

* – You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

~~~

More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.

John Kirk Nelson

~~~

In a little town, tucked into the woods and far from the main roads, the Jews were afraid that the Messiah would come and pass them by. They decided to build a tower on the outskirts of town, and appointed one of the town’s beggars to serve there as watchman. If the Messiah should come, the watchman would give him directions to the town.

One day a stranger approached the tower, and the watchman came down to greet him. “What are you doing here in the middle of the forest?” asked the stranger.

“I sit on top of the tower and wait for the Messiah,” answered the watchman.

“How do you like your job?” the stranger asked. “I’m sure it doesn’t pay very much.”

“That’s true,” answered the watchman. “But it’s steady work.”

~~~

My friend admitted she was forty but she didn’t say when.

~~~

A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the homeowner, “My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand when you tell him about all the bargains,” the homeowner replied.

“Normally, yes,” the lady said. “But he just broke his leg, and he’s waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set.”

~~~

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

Alfred E. Newman

~~~

Shortly after reporting to the 101st Airborne Division, we were ordered to fall out in our dress uniforms. Only problem was, I didn’t know how to tie a necktie. So I asked the guy in the next bunk for help.

“Sure,” he said. “Lie down.”

Confused, I lay down on the bunk and he tied my tie.

“Sorry, but this is the only way I know how,” he said. “comes from practicing on my father’s clients.”

“What does your father do?”

“He’s a mortician.”

~~~

“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”

Ed Furgol.

~~~

“So, Mr. Clark,” the doctor says to one of his patients, “I see by your chart that you’ve been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you’re released?”

The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, “Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That’s still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it’s like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I’ve grown interested in lately.”

Dr. Leroy nods and says, “Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities.”

The patient replies, “And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot.”

~~~

At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.

Barbara Bush

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I’m Better Now

Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance.

Epicurus

balance

I like many others have learned lessons late in life that would have made my life better if I had learned them earlier. I just read the piece I am going to share with you today that reminded me of my own behavior in my early days in the computer industry. I often spent long hours and even weeks away from my family focusing on the challenges of my job.

Even later in life I often found myself thinking that I was more important than I probably was. I know you have heard me say lately that my health has sometimes kept me from important activities so I have avoided any commitments where I was important or critical to the success of the activity. And you know what, my absence has not really made any real difference.

We need to do what we can as well as we can but not let our self-imposed obligations consume us. Work hard but not to the exclusion of a happy life.

Spend Half Day in a Graveyard

A physician gave some rather whimsical advice to a patient, an aggressive, go-getter type of businessman. Excitedly the businessman told the doctor what an enormous amount of work he had to do and that he had to get it done right away or else things will fall apart.

“I take my brief case home every night and it’s packed with work,” he said with nervous inflection.

“Why do you take work home with you at night?” the doctor asked quietly.

“I have to get it done,” he fumed.

“Can’t someone else do it, or help you with it?” asked the doctor.

“No,” the man snapped. “I am the only one who can do it. It must be done just right, and I alone can do it as it must be done, and it has to be done quickly. Everything depends upon me.”

“If I write a prescription, will you follow it?” asked the doctor.

This, believe it or not was the prescription. His patient was to take off half-day a week and spend that half-day in cemetery.

In astonishment the patient demanded, “Why should I spend a half-day in a cemetery?”

“Because,” answered the doctor, “I want you to wander around and look at the gravestones of men who are there permanently. I want you to meditate on the fact that many of them are there because they thought even as you do, that the whole world rested on their shoulders. Meditate on the fact that when you get there permanently the world will go on just the same &, as important as you are, others will be able to do the work you are now doing.”

The patient got the idea. He stopped fuming & fretting. He got peaceful and developed a more competent organization & his business is in better condition.

K.N.RAJAN

~~~

Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Robert Fulgham

~~~

Driving my friend Steve and his girlfriend to the airport, I passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad beauty holding a can of beer. Steve’s girlfriend glances up at it and announces, “I suppose if I drank a six pack of that same beer, I’d look like her.”

“No,” Steves corrects her… “but If I drank a six pack, you’d look like her.”

~~~

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

~~~

Visiting our son during his freshman year, we were shocked by the mess in his room:  clothes, books, and rubbish lay everywhere. Later, over dinner, we tried to touch on the informal versus formal dress codes that life after college might require.  Our son, however, shared his own firmly held dress code guidelines:

  1. informal: socks optional
  2. semiformal: two socks required
  3. formal: both socks must match

~~~

Don’t let other people tell you what you want.

Pat Riley

~~~

The phone rang as we were sitting down to dinner.  I answered it and was greeted with, “Is this William Wagenhoss?”

This didn’t sound anything like my name, so I asked, “Who is calling?”

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that.  I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he was calling this number.  I then said, off to the side, “Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood.”

I turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had called a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear at the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.  The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.

I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At this point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn’t tell her for about fifteen minutes.  My food was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.

~~~

For those who like peace and quiet —  phoneless cord.

~~~

Anyone who’s ever been to a “teaching hospital” knows to expect a group of students to descend upon them at any time. At one such hospital, in the recovery room, a bunch of students gathered around a beautiful blonde who, even in a gown, was obviously very well endowed.

Recovery is an excellent place for student doctors to become familiar with variations in heartbeats while the body comes back to normal from the operation and the anesthesia.

The first student approached the patient calmly and proceeded to listen intently to her heartbeat through the stethoscope.

The group was silent as he did so. The woman hesitated, then looked sympathetically into the eyes of the doctor-to-be. Reaching up, she gently placed the earpieces into his ears.

~~~

Today’s subliminal thought is:…

~~~

*Ten Step Guide To Being Handy Around The House*

  1. If you can’t find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it’s an improved screwdriver.
  2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
  3. Above all, if what you’ve done is stupid, but it works, then it isn’t stupid.
  4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can … many fine tools are there, it’s warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
  5. If it’s electronic, get a new one … or consult a twelve-year- old.
  6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the switch “on” ; or just paint over it.
  7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.
  8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help!
  9. If something looks level, it is level.
  10. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine ‘success’.

 

~~~

We find our energies are actually cramped when we are overanxious to succeed.

Michel de Montaigne

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I’m on it

“Think simple” as my old master used to say – meaning reduce the whole of its parts into the simplest terms, getting back to first principles.”

Frank Lloyd Wright

steps

Now that I have my computer back I have started on my backlog of bills, paper correspondence and deferred projects. It is what I use to call in my working days a “mandatory stack attack.” You see over the years I have had a propensity to give priority to what I wanted to do rather than dealing with what I need to do. Yes I have always been a somewhat prodigious procrastinator but neither you nor I need to be. Here are some tips offered by Henrik Edberg that can help

Get More Done with (a Lot) Less Stress: Helpful Daily Habits

  • Prepare your day the evening before. Pack your bag or suitcase. Pack the leftovers from your dinner in a container and put it in the fridge. Put your keys, wallet etc. in a place where you can easily find them as you head out in the morning. This preparation will help you to have a less stressful morning.
  • Be 5-10 minutes early for appointments. This will make your time of travel during the day into a time of relaxation and recharging. Instead of a time of stress and anxiety. Plus, people tend to like when other people are on time.
  • Work on just one thing at a time. It will be easier to focus and to do a good job. And to do it in less time compared to if you try to multi-task (at least if you are anything like me).
  • During your day regularly ask yourself questions for simplicity and focus. It is easy to get off track during a regular workday. To stay on track or to get back there if you get lost use questions like:
    • What is the most important thing I can do right now?
    • Is doing this bringing me closer to my goal?
    • Am I keeping things extremely simple right now?
  • Ask for help. You don’t have to always go it alone. You can ask for help. You may not always get it but you may also be surprised at how helpful and kind people can be in helping you ease your burdens and solve a challenge. Just don’t forget to do the same for them as best you can when they ask.
  • Consciously set and maintain firm boundaries between your work and personal time. Have a set stop time for your daily work (mine is 7 o’ clock). Don’t work on weekends. Consciously manage your boundaries and you’ll have less stress and more energy and focus both to do better work and to have a personal life of higher quality. This is one of the most important and often overlooked habits in this article.

~~~

“Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

Albert Einstein

~~~

Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell ball markers.

The golf pro says they do, and they are $1.00.

The guy gives the golf pro a dollar…

The golf pro opens the register, puts the dollar in and hands him a penny.

~~~

In God we trust, all others we virus scan.

~~~

Thanks to a fellow named John Dixon for thinking about all of this:

Fender skirts I haven’t thought about “fender skirts” in years. When I was a kid, I considered it such a funny term. Made me think of a car in a dress.

Thinking about “fender skirts” started me thinking about other words that quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice.

Like “curb feelers” and “steering knobs”, sometimes called “spinners.” Since I’d been thinking of cars, my mind naturally went that direction first.

Any kids will probably have to find some elderly person over 50 to explain some of these terms to you.

Remember “Continental kits?” They were rear bumper extenders and spare tire covers that were supposed to make any car as cool as a Lincoln Continental.

When did we quit calling them “emergency brakes?” At some point “parking brake” became the proper term. But I miss the hint of drama that went with emergency brake.”

Didn’t you ever wait at the street or down by the mail box for your daddy to come home, so you could ride the “running board” up to the house?

Here’s a phrase I heard all the time in my youth but never anymore “store-bought.” Of course, just about everything is store-bought these days. But once it was bragging material to have a store-bought dress or a store-bought bag of candy.

“Coast to coast” is a phrase that once held all sorts of excitement and now means almost nothing. Now we take the term “worldwide” for granted.

On a smaller scale, “wall-to-wall” was once a magical term in our homes. In the ’50s, everyone covered his or her hardwood floors with, wow, wall-to-wall carpeting! Today, everyone replaces their wall-to-wall carpeting with hardwood floors. Go figure.

When’s the last time you heard the quaint phrase “in a family way?” It’s hard to imagine that the word “pregnant” was once considered a little too graphic, a little too clinical for use In polite company. So we had all that talk about stork visits and “being in a family way” or simply “expecting.”

Apparently “brassiere” is a word no longer in usage. I said it the other day and my daughter cracked up. I guess it’s just “bra” now. “Unmentionables” probably wouldn’t be understood at all.

It’s hard to recall that this word was once said in a whisper, -“divorce”. And no one is called a “divorcee” anymore. Come to think of it, “confirmed bachelors” and “career girls” are long gone, too.

Always loved going to the “picture show,” but I considered “movie” an affectation.

Most of these words go back to the ’50s, but here’s a pure-’60s word came across the other day – “rat fink.” Ooh, what a nasty put-down!

Here’s a word I miss – “percolator.” That was just a fun word to say. And what was it replaced with? “Coffeemaker.” How dull. Mr. Coffee, I blame you for this.

I miss those made-up marketing words that were meant to sound so modern and now sound so retro. Words like “DynaFlow”, “Fluid Drive” and Electrolux. “Introducing the 1963 Admiral TV, now with “Spectra Vision!”

Some words aren’t gone, but are definitely on the endangered list. The one that grieves me most – “supper.” Now everybody says “dinner.” Save a great word. Invite someone to supper and discuss fender skirts.

Someone forwarded this to me, and I thought some of us of a “certain age” or know some one that’s a “certain age” that you can send this to, would remember most of these.  Oh, yeah, this got left out.  How about Burma Shave signs?

~~~

The thesaurus is where we find big words for the ones people actually understand.

~~~

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, “I like both.” The architect and the artist replied in unison,

“Both!?”

Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, this way you can stay longer at work and get some really interesting stuff done.”

~~~

Nothing is less productive than to make more efficient what should not be done at all.

Peter Drucker

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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