Ray's musings and humor

I’m Better Now

Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance.

Epicurus

balance

I like many others have learned lessons late in life that would have made my life better if I had learned them earlier. I just read the piece I am going to share with you today that reminded me of my own behavior in my early days in the computer industry. I often spent long hours and even weeks away from my family focusing on the challenges of my job.

Even later in life I often found myself thinking that I was more important than I probably was. I know you have heard me say lately that my health has sometimes kept me from important activities so I have avoided any commitments where I was important or critical to the success of the activity. And you know what, my absence has not really made any real difference.

We need to do what we can as well as we can but not let our self-imposed obligations consume us. Work hard but not to the exclusion of a happy life.

Spend Half Day in a Graveyard

A physician gave some rather whimsical advice to a patient, an aggressive, go-getter type of businessman. Excitedly the businessman told the doctor what an enormous amount of work he had to do and that he had to get it done right away or else things will fall apart.

“I take my brief case home every night and it’s packed with work,” he said with nervous inflection.

“Why do you take work home with you at night?” the doctor asked quietly.

“I have to get it done,” he fumed.

“Can’t someone else do it, or help you with it?” asked the doctor.

“No,” the man snapped. “I am the only one who can do it. It must be done just right, and I alone can do it as it must be done, and it has to be done quickly. Everything depends upon me.”

“If I write a prescription, will you follow it?” asked the doctor.

This, believe it or not was the prescription. His patient was to take off half-day a week and spend that half-day in cemetery.

In astonishment the patient demanded, “Why should I spend a half-day in a cemetery?”

“Because,” answered the doctor, “I want you to wander around and look at the gravestones of men who are there permanently. I want you to meditate on the fact that many of them are there because they thought even as you do, that the whole world rested on their shoulders. Meditate on the fact that when you get there permanently the world will go on just the same &, as important as you are, others will be able to do the work you are now doing.”

The patient got the idea. He stopped fuming & fretting. He got peaceful and developed a more competent organization & his business is in better condition.

K.N.RAJAN

~~~

Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Robert Fulgham

~~~

Driving my friend Steve and his girlfriend to the airport, I passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad beauty holding a can of beer. Steve’s girlfriend glances up at it and announces, “I suppose if I drank a six pack of that same beer, I’d look like her.”

“No,” Steves corrects her… “but If I drank a six pack, you’d look like her.”

~~~

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

~~~

Visiting our son during his freshman year, we were shocked by the mess in his room:  clothes, books, and rubbish lay everywhere. Later, over dinner, we tried to touch on the informal versus formal dress codes that life after college might require.  Our son, however, shared his own firmly held dress code guidelines:

  1. informal: socks optional
  2. semiformal: two socks required
  3. formal: both socks must match

~~~

Don’t let other people tell you what you want.

Pat Riley

~~~

The phone rang as we were sitting down to dinner.  I answered it and was greeted with, “Is this William Wagenhoss?”

This didn’t sound anything like my name, so I asked, “Who is calling?”

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that.  I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he was calling this number.  I then said, off to the side, “Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood.”

I turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had called a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear at the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.  The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.

I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At this point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn’t tell her for about fifteen minutes.  My food was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.

~~~

For those who like peace and quiet —  phoneless cord.

~~~

Anyone who’s ever been to a “teaching hospital” knows to expect a group of students to descend upon them at any time. At one such hospital, in the recovery room, a bunch of students gathered around a beautiful blonde who, even in a gown, was obviously very well endowed.

Recovery is an excellent place for student doctors to become familiar with variations in heartbeats while the body comes back to normal from the operation and the anesthesia.

The first student approached the patient calmly and proceeded to listen intently to her heartbeat through the stethoscope.

The group was silent as he did so. The woman hesitated, then looked sympathetically into the eyes of the doctor-to-be. Reaching up, she gently placed the earpieces into his ears.

~~~

Today’s subliminal thought is:…

~~~

*Ten Step Guide To Being Handy Around The House*

  1. If you can’t find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it’s an improved screwdriver.
  2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
  3. Above all, if what you’ve done is stupid, but it works, then it isn’t stupid.
  4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can … many fine tools are there, it’s warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
  5. If it’s electronic, get a new one … or consult a twelve-year- old.
  6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the switch “on” ; or just paint over it.
  7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.
  8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help!
  9. If something looks level, it is level.
  10. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine ‘success’.

 

~~~

We find our energies are actually cramped when we are overanxious to succeed.

Michel de Montaigne

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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