Ray's musings and humor

Thank You

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.

Marcel Proust

friends

One of the things that enrich my golden years is the interesting people I know, people like you. Earlier this week I met with an audiologist friend who just returned from a humanitarian trip to China. Yesterday I breakfasted with a retired former newspaper reporter, international magazine editor and author where we discussed a wide variety of the issues of the day.

This morning I will have breakfast with a friend who has just returned from Haiti where he did good works just as he does in a number of ways in our town. Later I will lunch with a lady who I truly respect, she provides oversight to a large number of philanthropic projects keeping her foundation’s donors aware of how their contributions are doing so much good.

Next month I will be lunching with the retiring director of one of our states most effective organizations. She is really special and is going to start her retirement with an assignment in the Ukraine working for the Peace Corps. These are but a few of the folks I am lucky enough to know; they like you are an important part of my life.

My List Of Friends

I have a list of friends I know, all written in a book,

And every now and then I go and take a look.

 

That is when I realize these names, they are a part

not of the book they’re written in, but taken from the heart.

 

For each Name stands for someone who has crossed my path sometime,

and in that meeting they have become the reason and the rhyme.

 

Although it sounds fantastic for me to make this claim,

I really am part of each remembered name.

 

Although you’re not aware of any special link,

just knowing you, has shaped my life more than you could think.

 

So please don’t think my greeting as being just a mere routine,

your name was not forgotten in between.

 

For when I send a greeting that is addressed to you,

it is because you’re on the list of friends I’m indebted to.

 

So whether I have known you for many days or few,

in some ways you have a part in shaping things I do.

 

I am but a total of many folks I’ve met,

you are a friend I would prefer never to forget.

 

Thank you for being my friend

~~~

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.

Charles R. Swindoll

~~~

Things You’ll Never Hear In A Western Movie:

~”I reckon I’ll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!”

~”Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let’s draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution.”

~”Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room.”

~”Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!”

~”Let’s see… hardtack and pemmican… that’s three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches.”

~”You ‘n’ Slim round up them strays, and I’ll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue.”

~”Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my ass look big?”

~”HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! …Okay, now a little to the left…   Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!”

~~~

She said: To the woman who stole my husband. Thank you very much! The joke is on you.

~~~

These are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a snide sense of humor.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

~~~

Some people are going to leave a mark on this world, while others will leave a stain.

~~~

A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug’s face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary.

“And what day will that be?” the clerk asked.

Glumly he replied, “Yesterday”.

~~~

“There’s nothing more optimistic than a dog under the dinner table.”

~~~

The patrol officer stopped a motorist for a traffic violation. Standing outside his expensive foreign car, the red-faced driver frantically waved his hands and jumped up and down. “I’ll have your job for this!” he shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Sir, you wouldn’t want my job,” replied the unruffled officer as he wrote out the citation. “The hours are long, the pay is low, and you meet some of the nastiest people.”

~~~

When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you’re in a public restroom.

~~~

A woman is complaining to her friend about her marriage.

Her friend says,

“Yeah, I understand, I guess there isn’t anymore magic in your life.”

“Oh, no, there’s still some magic! Every Saturday night he disappears!”

~~~

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island… to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.

Baltasar Gracian

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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