What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I was at a meeting yesterday of my Kiwanis Club. The club is well known for the good works it does. The club includes men and women of a wide range of ages who participate in service projects, fundraisers while sponsoring three high school service clubs. I am one of two remaining founding members of the club that has been in operation for four decades.
Yesterday I shared with a few of my friends that I was feeling guilty because I was not able to participate like I once did. Yep, I was feeling down on myself. My friends let me know that they know my limitations and that I should keep attending the meetings and not worry about my limitations. They are right of course, I should not feel guilty if I am doing all I can do. So rather than adopting a woe is me attitude I am going to focus on feeling good about myself. I will follow the advice offered in the following article by Barton Goldsmith Ph.D.
10 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself
Some days are better than others. On those days that go less well, we usually end up being hard on ourselves. Here are some tools to avoid doing so.
- Keep going. Don’t let life’s changes throw you off track, but remember that most extenuating circumstances are temporary. Gain more clarity by staying the course and channeling your energy in a positive direction.
- Trust yourself. Believe in your inner resources, no matter what, and you’ll grow from the experience. I believe that the answers usually lie within and you are probably smart enough to figure out what you need to do. Give yourself a little time and have patience.
- Be friends with life. Remember that the world is not out to get you and it does not punish you. You do that to yourself. Learning to focus on other opportunities or in another direction can give you some perspective.
- Watch your thoughts. Your thinking will never be 100 percent positive. You must learn to dismiss the negative thoughts and stay open to other ideas that will help you move in a positive direction. Start recognizing negative thoughts and use your mind to quell them.
- Summon the strength you have inside. Learn to access and direct your strengths to the highest good for all concerned. Believe that your strength and intelligence can help you deal with anything. Remember that you have survived worse.
- Learn to love yourself. You do not have to be who you are today, and your life is not scripted. Changing how you feel about yourself means creating a strategy, gathering some new tools, and making yourself into the person you want to be. A good way to start is to stop doing things that hurt.
- Don’t want too much. Desire can be a powerful motivating tool, but wanting something too much can be very painful and very expensive, so don’t live beyond your means or covet the unattainable. Seek your desire, but keep your integrity.
- Don’t get insulted. It is wise to be dispassionate about critical comments. Human’s will always bump heads, but consider the source, and if it’s the other person’s issue, ignore it. Learn to respond instead of react, and don’t show your ire.
- Recognize that disappointment is part of life. Even the most successful people have to deal with disappointment, but they’ve learned how to use it to get to the next level of life. The trick is to process your feelings, then take some kind of action.
- Deal with your fears. Overcoming fear makes you stronger, and being a little scared can make you better. You want to have butterflies; you just want them flying in formation. It helps to understand and admit your fears. Then you can kick them to the curb.
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
Malcolm S. Forbes
Golfer: Well, I have never played this badly before! Caddy: I didn’t realize you had played before, sir.
Golfer: Caddy, Do you think my game is improving? Caddy: Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to.
Golfer: Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy: The way you play, sir, it’s a crime any day of the week!
Golfer: This golf is a funny game. Caddy: It’s not supposed to be.
Golfer: That can’t be my ball, caddy. It looks far too old. Caddy: It’s been a long time since we started, sir.
Golfer: That’s good for one long drive and a putt. Caddy (after ball travels only one meter): And now for one hell of a putt.
We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.
We were watching CNN’s Technology program they have on weekends, when a segment on Virtual Reality came on. Looking at the all the wires and gadgets, she turned to me and said that Virtual Reality would never catch on with women. I was puzzled by this, until she explained, “Every woman’s first thought on seeing that helmet will be, ‘I can’t wear that. It will mess up my hair!'”
She said: They say it is better to give than to receive. I say it depends on the gift.
She also said: Have you ever noticed that retired couples have reached a level of maturity where they never have any of those piddling little quarrels that other people do?
They have one big argument that starts at seven in the morning and goes right through till bedtime.
Retirement is also when the husband comes up with all kinds of theories on how to do the cooking, housework, and shopping better. The wife also comes up with a theory – that all pills do NOT come in bottles.
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application.”
I was casting kids in our church for our annual Christmas play, and I was giving out choices, such as Shepherd, Lamb, Villager. One 5-year-old couldn’t decide, so I said, “Luke, you can be a Villager.” He said, “OK,” and ran over to his parents. Very excited, he said to them, “Guess what! I get to be a mini-van!”
Pretend to treat your wife as a rational creature. It may surprise her at first, but she’ll appreciate it. On the other hand, she may burst out crying – thinking you’re drunk again.
My wife and I went to a “Dude Ranch” while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was.
He told her one had a horn and one didn’t, she replied, “The one without the horn is fine. I don’t expect we’ll run into too much traffic.”
She told me “Don’t criticize your wife. If she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.”
Approaching the counter at a local post office, I said to the stern-faced woman on the other side, “Are you the Postmistress?”
“No!” she replied testily, “I’m the Postmaster – Uncle Sam doesn’t pay me enough to be anyone’s mistress.”
Our entire life … consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are.”
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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