Ray's musings and humor

I prefer flowers

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

roses-positivethesaurus.jpg

I have decided that I am at an age where how I see my world and the folks in it allows me to see what I might have overlooked in the past. I have chosen to not let those who are fomenting anger and ill will to infect my thoughts. Life is too short to wallow in self-inflicted unhappiness.

So I welcome the folks who maintain a positive outlook for they are our hope for the future. I have found that the chronic complainers have little time for problem solving and seldom search for what is good around them.

As I sow in my life’s garden I welcome those who are in the field with me planting their own glorious fields. You know we do have a choice, life in the fields of despair or life in the meadows of hope.

YOUR MIND IS A GARDEN. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE THE SEEDS.

You can grow anything

“Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.”

Feed your mind with positive, abundant and life prospering thought which can open the channels of miracle creating doors which is divinely constructed for your prosperous and purposeful destined quality of life. As you yourself is script writer, director and controller of your thought as well as best architect of your destiny. So feed your mind with quality thought as it determines your quality of life. The valid truth says, “Your mind is like soil, just plant the quality of seeds inside your inner world for manifesting quality of circumstances in your external world.”

Dhiraj Raj

~~~

“Sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, love like you’ll never get hurt and live like its heaven on earth.”

Author Unknown

~~~

A minister was giving the children’s message during church.  For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them. On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation.  He started out by saying, “I’m going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is.” The children nodded eagerly.

“This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)…” No hands went up.  “And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)…” The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised.

“And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it’s excited (pause)…”

Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand.  The minister breathed a sigh of relief and called on him.

“Well,” said the boy, “I know the answer you’re looking for is supposed to be ‘Jesus’ …  but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.”

~~~

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

Jennifer Unlimited-

~~~

A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “No way, pal. I don’t think you can pay for it.”

“You’re right,” the guy says. “I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?”

“You have a deal, my friend,” says the bartender.

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the side of the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the keyboard and starts playing Gershwin music. The hamster can really play…

“You’re right… I’ve never seen anything like that before,” says the bartender. “That hamster is really gifted.”

The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. “Will that be cash or another miracle, pal?” asks the bartender.

“Watch this,” replies the guy. Again, he reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog onto the bar, and the frog starts to sing. The frog has a marvellous voice and great pitch. A fine singer.

A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

“It’s a deal,” says the guy. He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.

“Are you some kind of nut?” asks the bartender. “You sold a singing frog for $300? It could have been worth millions. You must be crazy.”

“Not so,” says the guy. “The hamster is a ventriloquist”!

~~~

It worked… Now if I could only remember what I did.

~~~

An Arkansas state trooper stopped Sherry for going 15 miles over the posted speed limit. After he handed her a ticket, Jill asked, “Don’t you give out warnings?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he replied.  Warnings are all up and down the highway. They say, . .  ‘Speed Limit 65.'”

~~~

“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”

Victor Hugo

~~~

As most young, weak and smart kids are, Ken was picked on constantly by the bullies in school. They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just down right made his life miserable.  It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he found out what would get them back, he went all out.

He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had, what looked like, small brown balls in it.  He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth as obvious to the rest of the kids as possible making yum yum noises.

The bus bully without asking snatched the jar from Ken’s hand and asked “What’s in the bottle that you are making such a big deal of?”

“Well, they’re smart pills.”

“Smart pills?”  the bully asked.  Then opened the jar and popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth.  “Pweeuuweppblahhh!!” he reacted.  “What is this stuff?  It tastes like rabbit poop!!”

“See, you’re getting smarter already.”

~~~

Did you hear about the new liberal church? It has six commandments and four suggestions.

~~~

Jane asks:

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there…I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their butt when they ask where the bathroom is?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets Mad at you! , but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head Out the window?

~~~

They say you can’t have too much of a good thing.  I wish I’d been part of that study.

~~~

A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost fifty dollars an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee.

“Hoot mon,” he said, “in Scotland it wouldna ha’ been more than $20.”

“That might be true,” said the travel agent, “but you have to take into account that the Sea of Galilee is water on which our Lord himself walked.”

“Well, at $50 an hour for a boat,” said the Scotsman, “it’s no wonder he walked!”

~~~

“Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets. Life’s too short to be anything but happy.”

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Comments on: "I prefer flowers" (1)

  1. great! ^^ thanks!

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