Ray's musings and humor

Archive for April, 2016

I hope you have found happiness

Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.

William Feather

! 0000000 happiness

I had a full day yesterday and another coming up today. My fatigue has sapped the little creative ability I have today so we again will see if I did better in the past.

Ray’s Daily first published on April 13, 2005

A friend and I were discussing someone who seems to be searching for happiness and never finding it. She seems so concerned about her job, relationships and playing the roles expected of her that she has little time to become herself. I don’t know why so many of us live with unhappiness or live dull, regimented lives, never experiencing the joys that are there for us to find. What is really sad is when we miss happiness because we did not recognize it when we saw it, or we did not take the time to enjoy it when we had the opportunity.

Here are a few investments we can make that can help make happiness easier to find.

  1. Free your heart from hatred
  2. Free your mind from worries
  3. Live simply
  4. Give more
  5. Expect less

I know for many of us committing ourselves to the above is not easy, but I suggest that taking a few minutes each day to think about them can provide real results. Maybe the question we need to ask ourselves is, “do things really have to be this way?” The answer is often they do not, and once we know that we can unload a little each day. If we do I think we will find things a little brighter, life more enjoyable, and joy more frequent.

~~~

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.

Jacques Prévert

~~~

Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies’ group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.  She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat.

She said, “Oh dear, there’s no time to bake another cake.” So, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom …  a roll of toilet paper.  She plunked it in and covered it with icing.

The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church.

Before she left the house, Alice had given her daughter some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened, and to buy that cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold. Alice was beside herself.

The next day, Alice was invited to a friend’s home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon.  After the game, a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert. Alice saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, “What a beautiful cake!” Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say …”Thank you, I baked it myself.”

~~~

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.

Lao Tzu

~~~

A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to come to his church some Sunday.  Not too many weeks thereafter and just as services are starting, they show up.

Attendance was good in the small Methodist church and there wasn’t a pew available.  Several church members were already seated on folding chairs. When the minister, just starting the service, saw the three Baptist deacons enter, he leaned down from the pulpit and whispered to the nearest usher, “Please get three chairs for my Baptist friends in the back.”

The usher, hard of hearing, leaned closer and said, “I beg your pardon?”

“Get three chairs for my Baptist friends,” repeated the minister. The usher strained closer with a puzzled look still on his face.

Once more the minister tried, speaking slowly and distinctly. “Three chairs. For the Baptists,” he enunciated.

The usher’s face lit up in comprehension, and he turned to face the congregation. “All right, everybody,” he called out to the assembled worshipers. “Three cheers for the Baptists!”

~~~

Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.

Ernest Hemingway

~~~

A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found a taker. “I think this one will really move,” said the broker. “It’s only $1 a share.”

“Buy me 1,000 shares,” said the client.

The next day the stock was at $2. The client called the broker and said, “You were right. Give me 5,000 more shares.”

The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $4.

The client ran to the phone and called the broker, “Get me 10,000 more shares.”

“Great!” said the broker.

The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $9.

Seeing what a great profit he had in just a few days, the client ran to the phone and told the broker, “Sell all my shares!”

The broker asked, “To who? You were the only one buying that stock.”

~~~

“My mother always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, ‘Just wait.'”

Judy Tenuta

~~~

Jill and Nina went to lecture on positive thinking.  After the lecture was done, Nina said to Jill, “You know, I learned a lot from this.  From now on, I am going to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. From now on, I am going to use the word IS instead of the word NOT.”

“You’re right Nina.  I am going to quit making negative statements too.

I am going to speak positively from now on as well”, Jill said.

“Really Jill, like what?” asked Nina.

“Well,” Jill says, “I used to always say that my husband was not fit to live with the hogs.  Now I am going to say he IS fit to live with them.”

~~~

The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality.

John Quincy Adams

~~~

She said, now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. “What will you do if I die before you do?” Dad asked Mom. After some thought, she said that she’d probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age. Then Mom asked Dad, “What will you do if I die first?” He replied, “Probably the same thing.”

~~~

After being advised by a store front investment counselor to invest my few measly savings in CD’s, does anyone know of a good music store that sells them cheap?

~~~

After joining the Navy, a guy undergoes a physical. During the exam, it was discovered that, due to a bum shoulder, he couldn’t fully extend his arms above his head. Perplexed, the doctor conferred with another physician.

“Let him pass,” said the second doctor. “I don’t see any problems, unless he has to surrender.”

~~~

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

Margaret Young

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Time to make choices

“Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have.”

! 000000 choices

I am still trying to get back up to speed. I am at the point in my life where I can’t do everything I want to do. I also have difficulty doing everything others want me to do. And I find that my body is demanding more rest time. My quandary is to cull the list of things I might do to a list of things I would like to do and can do. That means to eliminate those that are not going to get done and get them off my to-do list. It is easier than it sounds for I have a hard time giving up much of my past and bringing realism into my future.

I recently found an article written by Christy Tennery-Spalding that at least helps me to deal with my opportunities. Here in part is what she wrote.

The Joy of Doing Less: Ways to Reclaim Your Time

 Honestly look at what you’re already committed to.

None of this works if you aren’t honest about what’s already in your schedule. From major work commitments to how much time you’re choosing to be on Facebook, keep a candid journal on where your time goes. Watch this for a little while. Try not to judge yourself, but look at what you’re prioritizing, consciously or unconsciously.

Once you see what you’re committed to and how you’re spending your time, you can start to edit. Does what’s on your schedule line up with your values and goals? Or is it time to start shift?

Follow the “three thing” rule.

It’s like the old saying, “If everything is a priority, then nothing is.” Choose three things that are the real priorities in your life. Start small. What are the three things you want to accomplish today? Start with those as the skeleton of your day, and build everything else around them.

I’ve noticed that this “three thing” rule is also a good boundary for understanding when I’ve done “enough.” As someone who has a hard time switching off sometimes, using the three thing rule as a guidepost can help me to know when to call it a day.

Start saying no.

This one is pretty simple. If it’s not supporting your values, your priorities, your “three things” or your inner well-being, it has to be a no.

The ability to craft elegant boundaries and a good rubric for new commitments can be a process. But over time, you’ll learn to trust your intuition. In the meantime, get some practice in confidently saying no. People in your life will also learn how to hear your no, and respect it.

~~~

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.

Marilu Henner

~~~

After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left.

Later, the wife’s roommate commented, “Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.”

~~~

I don’t mean to brag, but……  I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

~~~

Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person.  “However, if you’re over 65,” he said, “the price will be only $5.50.”

From the back of the congregation, a woman’s voice rang out, “Do you really think I’d give you that information for only 50 cents?”

~~~

When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Rita Rudner

~~~

I was casting kids in our church for our annual Christmas play, and I was giving out choices, such as Shepherd, Lamb, Villager.  One 5-year-old couldn’t decide, so I said, “Luke, you can be a Villager.” He said, “OK,” and ran over to his parents.  Very excited, he said to them, “Guess what! I get to be a mini-van!”

~~~

Regardless of how much patience we have, we would prefer never to use any of it.

~~~

Have you seen this nifty little thing in the stores? It’s a small square wooden block. They call it the “Exercise Block.” The directions say to set the block on the floor. Walk around it twice. Now sit down & rest.

Congratulations! You have just walked around the block twice! Who says exercise has to be exhausting?  Keep this up and you’ll be down 20 pounds by Christmas! Check with your doctor if you want to try this. Then head on over to your local Walgreen’s…that’s where I got mine. Now excuse me, while I go walk around the block.

~~~

The man says to his hair stylist, “My hair is falling out. What can I use to keep it in?”

The stylist replies, “Might I suggest a shoebox?”

~~~

At the senior center– Friday night dance

A very elderly gentleman (nineties), very well dressed, hair well-groomed, great-looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after-shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into the “cocktail lounge” section at the senior center.

Seated at the bar is an attractive elderly looking lady (mid-eighties).

The gentleman walks over, sits alongside her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, “So tell me, do I come here often?”

~~~

“I’ve lived a long life and seen a lot of hard times… most of which never happened.”

Mark Twain

~~~

A college student has been thrown out of his apartment for not paying his rent, so he sends an e-mail to his father.

“Please send money. I’m in the street.”

The father replies, “Have no money. Watch out for cars.”

~~~

“A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience except that it is soluble in alcohol.”

Thomas Blackburn

~~~

Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society.

When my turn came, I answered, “Blondes!”

~~~

Your life lies before you like a path of driven snow, be careful how you tread it cause every step will show.

Lowri Williams

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

The most important day in my life

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

Robert A. Heinlein

! 0000000 Wedding

It was the year 1952 and I was in the Navy going to school in Maryland when a shipmate asked me to with him to his home in New York City for the weekend. I did go and was excited since it was my first time to stay in Manhattan. Little did I know that he had set me up with a blind date to go to Palisades Amusement Park in New Jersey.

It turned out that my date was an attractive young lady who worked for the Chase Bank and who had come to the US in the early forties from Cuba. We hit it off to the point where I went to New York to visit her most weekends for months. I got to know and appreciate her family and we became more than friends.

We explored the city together making many new friends in the process. I frequently stayed in Greenwich Village when I visited and fell in love with the culture. I was pretty young but learned to really enjoy much of what the city had to offer and sharing it with someone I cared about made it even better.

Well to make a long story short one evening as we were leaving Saint Patricks’ Cathedral I proposed marriage and she accepted. We got married on this day, April 11, 1953 63 years ago.

Over the years my wife gave us three wonderful children and they gave us seven successful grandchildren and one great grandson. It was not always easy, especially when I was away on business for sometimes months at a time. My wife raised our kids, tolerated my mistakes and has always been there doing the tough times and when my health has taken me down.

I think we have done so well because we are compatible. Each of us has our own interests and even many separate friends but we truly appreciate each other. I think love can be expressed in many ways, one of them is in the nurturing we provide our partners and in my case no one could do it better than my wife Nancy has for more than sixty years. I have been blessed.

~~~

Love grows more tremendously full, swift, poignant, as the years multiply.

Zane Grey

~~~

He said: Recently launched into the “real world” and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother Dustin was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.

“If you got married,” teased my dad, “the premium would be lower.”

Dustin smiled and said, “That would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts.”

~~~

Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless

~~~

Things You Don’t Want To Hear During Surgery

* Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?

* Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

* What’s this doing here?

* I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.

* Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

* Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

~~~

It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

~~~

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”

~~~

At my age flowers scare me

George Burns

~~~

His mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. His six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?”

Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They’ve got Mom! And they want money!”

~~~

She said: DON’T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN

~~~

Little Mary was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, “Why did the lady change her mind?”

Her mother asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one.”

~~~

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

~~~

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is the vacuum on or off?”

~~~

Things to Ponder My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds.  Only 15 to go.

~~~

Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, “What is three times three?”

“274” was his reply.

The doctor worriedly says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”

“Tuesday” replies the second man.

The doctor sadly says to the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three”?

“Nine” says the third man.

“That’s great!” exclaims the doctor. “How did you get that”?

“Jeez, Doc, it’s pretty simple,” says the third man. “I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday.”

~~~

“Real love stories never have endings.”

Richard Bach

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Thanks

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.”

Charles Caleb Colton

! 000000 appreciate_your_friend

Hi, I am back from my special assignment which took me to a cold, rainy and dreary Michigan. I am still in a recovery mode so I hope you don’t mind my sending you a Daily I first published years ago.

Ray’s Daily first published on April 08, 2008

I like many people my age are often reminded that none of us live forever, as we go older we hear of more and more of our past acquaintances who have passed on. The sad part is that often they leave us without knowing how much we cared for them. We seem to take for granted the gifts we are given each day by others.

When I reflect back on my many friends and colleagues who are no longer with us, I can’t help but wish we would have talked more together, walked more together, laughed more together, and hugged once in a while. It is a shame that life does not permit us to spend huge amounts of time with all the people we meet and know. Often we meet someone special only once or twice when fate or duty brings us together, yet in those few moments a spark that we share ignites the torch of friendship that is often too fleeting. In my case there are many of you who I have never even met and yet you provide me pleasure by allowing me a few moments of your time each day.

When you get down to it, we really don’t have to wait until the end of someone’s life to tell them how much they are appreciated. We really can do it often, in fact in small ways we can do it every day. And you know what; we don’t have to limit showing our appreciation for others to only our friends. The tapestry of our lives is woven from the threads of all the people we encounter each day, they enrich our lives. Some are good, some are not, yet at the end of each day they all have made our day what it was. Each of these encounters provides us an opportunity to appreciate others and to show them we are glad they are there. If we make it a habit, maybe we will not have to feel as I do as I bid farewell to old friends, knowing that I did not let them know more often how much the gift of their friendship meant to me.

~~~

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

From The Original Hollywood Squares T.V. Show.

These are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now.

Q: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?

A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or false…a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes…

Q: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A: Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he’s really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he’s married?

A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?

A: George Gobel: I don’t know but it’s coming from the next apartment.

Q: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?

A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy growing strawberries!

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?

A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting “Poo! Poo! Poo!” What does that mean?

A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it’s sex?

A: Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Q: Do female frogs croak?

A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light?

A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.

~~~

“Let us be a little humble; let us think that the truth may not perhaps be entirely with us.”

Jawaharlal Nehru

~~~

I sat there waiting for my doctor’s partner to make her way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history. After she finished all 17 pages, she looked at me and said, “You look better in person than you do on paper.”

~~~

She said: Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.

~~~

A customer called the airline’s reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card.  The reservation specialist asked him,

“Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?”

The customer carefully replied, “V-I-S-A.”

~~~

There are no more hours in a bad day than in a good one!

~~~

Even though I was an engineering student, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, “Blondes!”

~~~

You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims.

Harriet Woods

~~~

My nursing colleague was preparing an intravenous line for a 15-year-old male patient. The bedside phone rang, and the boy’s mother reached over to pick it up. After talking for a few minutes, the mother held the phone aside and said, “Your father wants to know if you have any cute nurses.” The boy gazed at the nurse, who had the needle poised above his arm, ready for insertion. “Tell him,” he replied, “they’re absolutely gorgeous.”

~~~

If, instead of a gem or even a flower, we could cast the gift of a lovely thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels give.

George Macdonald

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Don’t sweat it

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”

Mahatma Gandhi

! 000000 stress-header

NOTE: I will be on assignment Wednesday and Thursday so the next Daily will be on Friday.

One of the things that makes life difficult for some of us is stress, The good news is that stress can be managed. Here are excerpts from an article by Dr. Samantha Boardman that can tell you how.

PROVEN STRATEGIES FOR OUTSMARTING STRESS

Doctors keep telling us to get rid of the stress in our lives but, for most of us, this is an unrealistic option. Unless you are planning to move to a desert island any time soon, stress is an inevitable part of daily life. The key is learning how to manage it and to make the most of it.

The good news is, with a little patience and perseverance, you can learn to become stress-hardy. Create a personal reservoir of resilience to inoculate you against setbacks and keep you strong, even in the face of stress. Here’s how:

Hold the door open for a stranger

Studies show that when we help others we help ourselves. Small gestures like opening a door for a stranger, holding the elevator, bringing a co-worker coffee and asking someone if they need help mitigate daily stress.

Take the stairs

Exercise plays a key role in dampening the effects of stress. Do your best to build more movement into every day.

Grin and bear it

Smiling during stressful moments can reduce your body’s physical and mental response to stress.

Be a social butterfly

Fight the temptation to withdraw into a cocoon by scheduling specific times to meet up with friends. No, “let’s get together soon.”

Write a thank-you note

Expressing gratitude makes you feel mentally stronger. It also reduces frustration and irritability.

Nature calls

A walk in the park is an excellent antidote for stress. It also reduces rumination and has a calming effect on the body and mind.

Be your own voice of reason

Studies show when you talk to yourself positively in the third person—i.e.,“Samantha, you can do it!”—you increase confidence and reduce the effects of stress.

Leave a fruit bowl on the table

A readily available healthy snack will increase the likelihood of you making a healthy choice and avoiding junk food. A healthy diet keeps you physically and mentally strong.

Sleep on it

Make sleep a priority. The more sleep you get, the more resilient you will be.

Be in learning mode

When a setback arises, ask yourself, “what can I learn from this?” Framing the setback as a temporary challenge rather than a permanent roadblock will help you navigate your way through it.

Make stress your friend

The way you think about stress matters. A positive mindset about stress is linked with better health and greater life-satisfaction. Think about stress as positive energy you can use. Next time you have to give a speech, remind yourself that “the jitters” are your body telling you that you’re energized and ready to meet the challenge.

~~~

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.

Marilu Henner

~~~

He said: As the manager of our hospital’s softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season. When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area. “Look, honey,” one man said turning to his wife. “Here comes your anesthesiologist.”

~~~

Ask me about my vow of silence.

~~~

13 Laws of Work

  1. The first 90% of project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
  2. Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  3. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
  4. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  5. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
  6. Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back.
  7. Never delay the ending of a meeting.
  8. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
  9. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
  10. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
  11. Following the rules will not get the job done.
  12. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
  13. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

~~~

When I was a kid history was called current affairs.

~~~

While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started talking.  He asked where my kids go to school.  I told him we home-schooled them.  With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family.

I said, “No, I also work out of our home.”

Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in.

“He was born at home,” I answered.

The man looked at me and then said, “Wow, you don’t get out much, do you?”

~~~

She asked, “Are these your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.”

~~~

A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, “Who am I? ” Ready to play the game she said, “I don’t know!

Who are you?” “WOW!” cried the child. “Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn’t recognize me!”

~~~

“If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.”

Dean Smith

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Don’t let it get you down

Being miserable is a habit. Being happy is a habit. The choice is yours

Tom Hopkins

! 000000 bright side

If you are like I am it is sometimes difficult being what you want to be. I admit when I get tired I get grouchy. When my legs start to rebel and tell me I better sit down I am not a happy person. The difficulty is not succumbing to the day to day difficulties falling into a woe is me attitude which only makes things worse.

So while it is sometimes not all that easy I find it is important to stay strong and not slip into the doldrums. Here are some suggestions to stay in the right mood from C. D. Larson:

Promise yourself

  • To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
  • To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
  • To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
  • To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
  • To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
  • To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
  • To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
  • To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
  • To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
  • To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
  • To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
  • To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

~~~

You are the conductor of your own attitude! Nobody else can compose your thoughts for you

 Lee J. Colan

~~~

A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. Surprised, she asked him where he got it.

“I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me,” he said.

“But that dollar was for Sunday School,” his mother replied.

Smiling, the boy said, “I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!”

~~~

“If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was smarter.”

Albert Grant.

~~~

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquillizers regularly.” On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquillizers calmed you down?”

“Yes” the mother answered.

“And how is your son now?” he asked.

“Who cares?”

~~~

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.”

Naguib Mahfouz

~~~

Jack died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack’s Last Will and Testament.

“To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.

To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar.

To my daughter, Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000.

And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp.”

~~~

You can’t please everybody if you are going to make a difference in this world.

Melvin Chapman

~~~

Two youngsters were walking home from Sunday School, each deep in his own thoughts. Finally one said, “What do you think about all this devil business we studied today?”

The other boy replied thoughtfully, “Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. This is probably just your Dad, too.”

~~~

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Bill Watterson

~~~

Morris returns from a long business trip and finds out that his wife has been unfaithful during his time away.

“Who was it!!!???” he yells. “That bastard Goldstein?”

“No,” replied his wife. “It wasn’t Goldstein.”

“Was it Feldman, that dirty old man?”

“No, not him.”

“Aha! Then it must have been that idiot Rabinovich!”

“No, it wasn’t Rabinovich either…”

Morris was now fuming. “What’s the matter?” he cried. “None of my friends are good enough for you?”

~~~

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought:  What good would that do?

~~~

An applicant for a job with the federal government was filling out the application form. He came to this question: “Do you favor the overthrow of the United States government by force, subversion, or violence?” Without giving it a second thought, he wrote, “violence.”

~~~

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will

Zig Ziglar

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Someone is waiting to be your friend

Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

! 000000 Friendship

I have found over the last few years that the most prevalent malady experienced by many folks who are up in years is not medical or physical but loneliness. Friends and neighbors move on, children not only have flown the nest they have migrated to a distant place. Some have lost their spouse and others no longer benefit from workplace friends or the socialization that accompanies the active lives of the young.

This lonesomeness often leads to depression taking the joy out of later lives. What saddens me is most of these folks are really good people and can be a great friend. I think of the people I meet as latent friends, people I would enjoy knowing and many turn out to be just that. I wish there was a magic matchmaker that would just go around introducing lonely folks to each other for there really is no need to stay lonely.

Far too many times people are not confident that they have much to offer someone else when in fact just caring is more than enough. I suspect that taking an interest in another person is one of the most rewarding things we can do. I know my friendships and acquaintances make a positive difference in my life.

Do me a favor, let people get to know you; many would love to be your friend. If you are a little shy, read these tips I got from I got from E How:

How to Make Friends

Do you have a hard time making friends? It sometimes can be difficult, but this is not a skill that we cannot improve. In fact, once you start making friends, it actually is addictive and a lot of fun. The key thing to making friends is being a friend yourself and being genuine. Remember, the more practice you get, the better you become

  • It’s contagious!
  • Address the person you’d like to make friends with by his or her name. This shows that you are interested in getting to know them.
  • Be genuine. People are naturally attracted to someone who is sincere and genuinely interested in them.
  • Be yourself.
  • Ask questions that will help them start talking. Don’t ask questions that are too personal in nature.
  • Be a good listener.
  • Build on common ground, such as interests or hobbies.
  • Respect differences of opinion; that’s what makes friendship exciting. Be objective and open-minded.
  • Give compliments when called for. People always appreciate positive feedback.
  • Keep in touch by inviting them to do something fun together.
  • Follow up with them after that.

Enjoy your friendship.

~~~

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

C.S. Lewis

~~~

Mistakes Re-Defined

If an engineer makes a mistake, it is a new venture!

If a scientist makes a mistake, it is a new invention!

If an explorer makes a mistake, it’s a new discovery!

If a professor makes a mistake, it is a new theory!

If a hairstylist makes a mistake, it’s a new style!

If a tailor makes a mistake, it is a new fashion!

If the boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake!

If an employee makes a mistake,

Now, *that* is a “MISTAKE!”

~~~

“A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.”

Ronald Knox.

~~~

“Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle-of-the-night feeding?”

“No. I always did that.”

“That must have been before you had women’s liberation.”

“No, it was before we had baby bottles.”

~~~

A cat is there when you call her – if she doesn’t have something better to do.

Bill Adler

~~~

Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: “Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of the sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandma in bloomers.”

Cashier reply’s: “That’ll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten dollars for the flamingos, six dollars for the sunflowers, and an apology to my wife!”

~~~

You know the kids are growing up when your daughter begins to put on lipstick and your son starts to wipe it off.

~~~

The Procrastinator’s Creed

I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.

I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.

I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two- Headed Turtles  (the Procrastinator’s Society) if they ever get it organized.

~~~

Go the extra mile. It’s never crowded there.

~~~

A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.

“Gosh!” exclaimed the new bride. “You certainly have a dangerous job. Don’t you ever get bitten by the snakes?” “Yes, upon rare occasions,” answered the handler. “Well,” she continued, “just what do you do when you’re bitten by a snake?” “I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound.”

“What, uh… what would happen if you were to accidentally *sit* on a rattler?” persisted the woman.

“Ma’am,” answered the snake handler, “that will be the day I learn who my real friends are.”

~~~

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.

Marcel Proust

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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