Ray's musings and humor

Archive for February, 2016

It is cold and it is lent

“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”

Carl Reiner

! 00000 beat the blahs

Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras 2016 are now history. Yesterday was Ash Wednesday for Christians throughout the world and marks the beginning of Lent and forty days which are marked by fasting, both from foods and festivities. So far I have done a good job avoiding eating liver, fried grasshoppers, squid, rattlesnake and other delicacies too numerous to mention. I have and will continue to avoid sky diving, mountain climbing, bob sledding and even more.

One of the advantages of my current age and infirmities is that it so much easier to not do than to do. Of course the disadvantage also means there are no sins that require penance. So if it is OK I will limit any plans than to do more than watch you all have fun. I don’t think my happy thoughts count but I don’t think I will check with clergy to see, for I would hate to have to give them up.

Meanwhile it has been cold and blustery here and time for a winter antidote, here are some ideas if you are living in the cold.

5 Tips on Beating the Winter Blahs

By Diane Passage

If you are feeling down and just want to get through winter, follow these tips!

Eat Healthy Food!

This simply means to eat foods with nutritional value. Quality food contributes to increased productivity, happier mood, weight control, appetite control and overall health. Do your best to maintain a balanced diet.


Oh my, am I trying to trick you into becoming an all-around healthy individual? Eating clean, exercising, being happy? Well if better health is a side effect of getting through the rest of the winter, then okay, I’ll take credit! Activity is important in combatting cabin fever because it reduces stress, promotes healthy sleeping, improves mood, and boosts energy. You can find movement indoors, outdoors, high-intensity or low-intensity. Find what works for you whether it’s stretching, yoga, CrossFit, Roku workouts, skiing, ice skating or the plethora of other options. Shoveling snow and sledding also counts!

Do Something Nice For Yourself!

The first two tips are ways of being nice to yourself but you might not be completely aware of it as your dragging yourself to the gym in 20-degree weather. So think of other ways to treat yourself that you really look forward to. Perhaps, reading a good book, catching up with Netflix, taking a workshop, enjoying a spa day, indulging in a hobby, etc. Carve out time in your schedule and make it non-negotiable — that is your time and no one else’s.


I don’t mean hide behind your computer and leave LOLs on your friends’ Facebook posts. Stay connected on a personal level. Pick up the phone and call someone, email your friends and family directly, text jokes with your besties, or engage in a fun winter activity with someone. Aim for personal and enjoyable interaction daily!

Plan for spring!

See the light at the end of the tunnel. The seasons are like our moods and our moods are like the seasons — both are phases, and some phases are more enjoyable than others. Think of some of the things you want to do in spring or summer that you can’t quite do right now. Do any of your plans require any prep? If so, get ready now — make a plan! Getting in shape for the beach, sprucing up your home for summer soirees, planning for weekend getaways, etc. — now is a great time to start thinking about these things!


“Laughter is sunshine, it chases winter from the human face.”

Victor Hugo


Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought.

“How could you do this?!”

“I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I found myself trying it on,” she explained. “It was like Satan was whispering in my ear, ‘You look fabulous in that dress. Buy it!'”

“Well,” the pastor replied, “You know how I deal with that kind of temptation. I say, ‘Get behind me, Satan!'”

“I did,” replied his wife, “but then he said, ‘It looks fabulous from back here, too!'”


Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?


A mother and father were chatting with their eight-year-old son about his future. The youngster said he’d like to attend Cornell, as his parents and other members of the family had. Pleased with his response, they pressed on. “What would you like to take when you attend college?” they asked the little boy. After giving it some thought and glancing around the kitchen, he replied, “The refrigerator, if you can get along without it.”


Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?


I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn’t poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don’t have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary.


“Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.”

Ron Nesen


Some neighbors of my grandparents gave them a pumpkin pie as a holiday gift.  As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible that my grandmother had to throw it away.

Ever gracious and tactful, my grandmother still felt obliged to send the neighbors a note.  It read:  “Thank you very much for the pumpkin pie. Something like that doesn’t last very long in our house.”


Clerk in flower shop: “Sorry, we don’t have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets?”

Customer (sadly):  “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.”


Life-insurance salesman …

“Do you know the present value of your husband’s policy?” the life-insurance salesman asked his client.

“What do you mean?” countered the woman.

“If you should lose your husband, what would you get?” asked the salesman.

The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, “Probably a poodle.”


“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”

Dorothy Parker


The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming trucks, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private area and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and he wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said to him, “You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds.”

“Impossible,” said the embarrassed man. “You really know what I think?”

“Yes,” the lady replied, “Right now, you are thinking that the bucket you’re holding has a bottom.”


“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

Albert Camus


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



We need each other

“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. They are but trifles, to be sure but, scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.”

George Eliot

! 00000 smilel

I am a little brain dead this morning, yesterday was a little challenging and I did not get as much nap time as usual so rather than bore you with lackluster thoughts let’s see if I was smarter on this day ten years ago.

Ray’s Daily first published on February 10, 2006

I may have mentioned before that I worry about the desocialization that I think is gaining ground in our society. Coming from an earlier generation I miss the things we use to do together. As we have become more specialized, geographically separated, and for some almost transient workers, a feeling of isolation can grow and fester.

Fortunately some of the gap is filled by the electro-socialization that takes place by our remote communication with others. In the old days we might call them pen pals but I think for many of us they are more than that. They are often people we can lean on, someone with whom we can share our secrets, our joys and our sorrows. I guess for many of the people we connect with electronically they become acquaintances.

For me the relationship is more than casual even though we may be separated by thousands of miles, gender, age, nationality or religion. I wonder if we need a new word for these relationships. What can I call the people who send me messages like these:



S.Derbyshire UK

  • Your posts are all very heartfelt. I enjoy reading them very much. Thanks for adding me a friend I will visit often for inspiration.

Richard – Florida

  • I just had to share “I will be there” with my brother. We can be there to lighten someone else’s load; I want my friends to know I am there for them whenever needed… to listen.

Blessings, Kathie

Bogalusa, Louisiana

When you think about it we really don’t need a new word for these people, for they are friends just as if we could see and touch them everyday. These friends and all of you that stay in touch are my confidants, you provide comfort and support, and fortunately there is always one or more of you there. It is when we share our feelings and care for each other that we become friends.

Of course this only works if we let it. We need to be grateful to those who care enough to take an interest in us, people often know us as well as almost anyone else. And Paula, Richard, Kathie and all the rest of you, thanks, I am glad we have met and become friends.



“The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?”

Henry David Thoreau


Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack’s last will and testament.

“To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and one million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp.”


Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things – chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with.

Finally, the uncle had an idea. “Why don’t you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?”

This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail.

After a few hours, the nephew returned.

“How did you enjoy that?” asked the uncle.

“It was great!” exclaimed the nephew. “Got any more dogs?”


A merry heart doeth good like a medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Proverbs 17:2


A rabbi, burdened by the importance of his work, went into the synagogue to pray. Falling to his knees, he lamented, “Oh, Lord, I am nothing! I am nothing!”

Just then a Jewish judge passed by and overhearing the prayer was moved to join the rabbi on his knees. Shortly, he too, was crying aloud, “Oh, Lord, I too am nothing! I am nothing!”

The janitor of the temple, awed by the sight of the two men praying joined them, crying, “Oh, Lord, I also am nothing! I am nothing!”

At this the judge nudged the rabbi and said, “Look who thinks he’s nothing.”


No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.


My first stop on my vacation was my sister’s house in Montana.  She’s extremely organized.  Before she leaves on a trip, she always types up address labels for her postcards.  This time, I figured I’d done her one better.  I boasted, “You’ll be impressed. I’ve already written thank-you notes to everyone with whom I’ll be staying.  They’re all stamped and ready to go.”

My sister was silent for a moment, and then she said, “You mean those little envelopes I saw in your room and mailed this morning?”


“I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.”

Steven Pearl


Molly was worried that her three-year-old son was unusually precocious, and took him to a psychiatrist.

“Right,” said the shrink, “We’ll just try a few simple tests.” To Morris the boy, he said “Say a few words – anything that comes into your mind.”

The boy turned to his mother and asked, “Does he want logically constructed sentences or just a few random and purely isolated words without any split infinitives?”


“A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.”

Edward R. Murrow


The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. “Now, said the teacher, “can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?”

A little girl in the back of the room raised her hand with great enthusiasm. “To make the gravy,” came her enthusiastic reply.


“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.”

Samuel Johnson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Working my way back

“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”

Marcus Aurelius

! 00000 Better-Health

Here we go again, another day. My highlight is going to be a visit to my ophthalmologist to follow-up on my cataract operation on my right eye and to when we can do my left eyes. Who knows when it is done I may even be able to see well at night again. The good thing about today is I’ll get out for more than just a cardio workout.

I think I am on the road to recovery but I lack the energy needed to find out for sure, maybe tomorrow after I nap. Meanwhile if you find my stamina lying around please send it back. I do appreciate this article I was just sent maybe I can grow it back.

The Top 10 Ways to Boost Your Energy

By Gisele Guilbert

The mind is willing, but the flesh is pooped! If you’ve got some great ideas and fun plans, but need more energy to carry them out, here are the top ten ways to get the energy you need. While our energy level is influenced by our body type, age, size, health, physical activity and the activity of our adrenal glands, pituitary glands, climate and nutrition, there are still a few things we CAN do to boost our energy level.

  1. Get the sleep you need!

Nothing is more draining than running on less sleep than we need. It affects our ability to process, reason, concentrate and discern hunger. So make sure you get the shut-eye your body requires.

  1. Drink your H2O!

Any time our body is dehydrated, we impede our mental performance, as well as our body’s ability to process waste, fight off infection, maintain body temperature and stay alert!

  1. Eat what your body requires to function well!

Unless you’ve been advised by a doctor, don’t fast or take in less than 1200 calories a day on the average. Eating too little leaves you feeling tired, cranky and depressed. And worse, when you do start to eat normally again, your brain will kick in some europeptide-Y, to make you binge and stock up for the next fast!

  1. Get your protein and your carbs in.

At various points in the day you may crave carbs and at other times, want protein. Listen to what your body is desiring and eat accordingly.

  1. Eat some fat!

Yes, you read that right! SOME fat! Not eating enough fat can actually overstimulate your hunger and drain you of valuable energy. Shoot for the 20% to 30% range.

  1. Take your vitamins!

It’s true. No matter how hard we try, we just can’t seem to get in all the minerals and nutrients we need from food. Start with your daily multi- and consider adding some extra Vitamin C, Calcium, and Vitamin E.

  1. Get the iron in.

Iron deficiency is one of the leading causes of fatigue. Either take a supplement or try kidney beans, lean red meat and tofu, which are great sources of iron.

  1. Avoid the sugar and alcohol.

Both substances will create a sense of fatigue and lethargy.

  1. Don’t eat too much!

Overeating and feeling stuffed only creates a desire to curl up and snooze! Instead, eat to the point where you’re satisfied but not stuffed. How do you know? Well, ask yourself if you’d be ready for a 30-minute brisk walk afterwards…if you are, you’re just right!

  1. Take a cat nap.

If you’re feeling tired and can take a few minutes – lie down in a comfortable spot for a brief nap. About 20 to 30 minutes will almost always refresh you.


“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you you’ve decided to look beyond imperfections.”



The late great Johnny Carson was the master joke teller as you can see below.

“I was so naïve as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”

“According to statistics, it’s a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: You don’t hear from your relatives.”

“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”

“Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.”

“If God didn’t want man to hunt, He wouldn’t have given us plaid shirts.”

“The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.”

“The Surgeon General announced today the ultimate safe-sex product. It’s called a Rubik’s condom: By the time you’ve figured out how to use it, you’ve lost the urge.”

“When turkeys mate they think of swans.”

“What’s all this fuss about plutonium? How could something named after a Disney character be dangerous?”

“The Oscars are two hours of sparkling entertainment spread over four hours.”

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”


She said:

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied “I’m not sure.”

“Look in your underwear, Grandma,” he advised.  “Mine says I’m four.”


She also said:

Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to handle the customer who asks, “What’s good tonight?”

Obviously, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good.  I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband.

He calmly replied, “Anything over $13.95.”


Someday they’ll invent a pill that is so powerful that you’ll have to be in perfect health to take it.

Herb Shriner


While shopping in a supermarket in Florida, I heard over the PA system:

“A wallet containing a large sum of money was found, but it contains no ID.  Will those laying claim to it please form a double line at the customer service counter?”


All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.


A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,

“Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor’s wife.”


Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.


Jill:  Look, Mary!  That couple at the corner table’s getting engaged.  He just gave her a ring.  How did your ex propose to you?

Mary:  Well, he said, “If you get pregnant, I’ll marry you.”


“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold or silver.”

Mahatma Gandhi


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Rest in peace old friend

It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, and a day to love them, but it takes an entire lifetime to forget them.

Author unknown

! 00000 Thanks

I just learned from a good friend’s daughter that her dad passed away last Wednesday after a long illness and then I was notified that his wife passed away two days later. He was a longtime friend of the family going back to our days in Chicago more than fifty years ago. Our kids played together and our families shared meals and events often. In later years we would visit him in St Louis. His first wife also a good friend passed away many years ago and my friend later remarried a kind and sweet lady. They even cruised with us.

In the last two months too many friends and acquaintances have passed on leaving fond memories behind. That certainly is the case with my good friend John and his wife Rita. They both were in hospice so there passing was peaceful. I am grateful for the good times we had together and for his family that was almost part of ours.

Here is something that can help folks when they too experience a loss,

How to Deal With a Friend’s Death

Losing a friend is never going to be easy. Keeping your own sense of calm and maintaining your friend’s memory are important elements of the grieving process. Accept that this is going to be a very hard time in your life but be reassured by the reality that you will get through this and that the best way to honor your friend is to retain his or her memory always alive in your heart.

  • Think of the good times. Recall fond memories of things you’ve shared together and remember those. Do not play over the tragedy that took his or her life.
  • Accept help that others might give you. Lean on family and friends.
  • Allow yourself to feel sad. Don’t let anyone tell you how long you should feel sad, or how sad you should feel. The loss of a friend affects different people in different ways, but it is painful no matter what. Do remember that it is pain that must simply be endured, like a broken arm – there are things you can do to alleviate it for a little while, but it will eventually hurt again until it fully heals. Believe it or not, as painful as this loss is, it will fully heal in time.
  • Talk to your friend. This might sound weird, but it’ll help. Tell your friend how you feel, that you miss him or her; talk over things that are happening in your life, and how different things are since your friend can’t be with you. Tell your friend that you take him or her with you wherever you go, that he or she is always in your heart. Go for grief counseling or pick up some books on grief and how to handle the pain you feel.
  • Resume your place in the world. Once you feel better, go out with your friends and do things you like to take your mind off the pain. Distracting your thoughts for a while will not make you forget your friend forever. Dwelling on your own pain doesn’t honor your friend’s memory – having a big, bold life, and remembering your friend with love and affection as you do is what your friend would want you to do.
  • Do something cool in your friend’s honor. If your friend liked to ride his or her bike, find out when the next MS ride is, and ride in your friend’s honor. Or if he or she battled cancer, check with the Cancer Society and do a Walk For the Cure or something similar. Donate any funds you raise in your friend’s name. This gives great honor to your friend’s memory, and does something positive in the world at the same time.


No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth.

Robert Southey


At an all-girls’ college, dates were permitted only on Saturday nights. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, however, explaining to an older woman at a desk in the lobby of the dorm, that it was imperative he see a certain young lady. “I want to surprise her. You see, I’m her brother.”

“Oh, she’ll be *real* surprised all right,” replied the woman. “In fact, even I’m surprised… I’m her mother.”


“The honeymoon is over when he phones to say he’ll be late for supper and she’s already left a note that it’s in the refrigerator.”

Bill Lawrence


A man walks into a dentist’s office and says, “Excuse me, can you help me. I think I’m a moth.”

Dentist: “You don’t need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist.”

Man: “Yes, I know.”

Dentist: “So why did you come in here?”

Man: “The light was on…”


“The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.”

Kin Hubbard


The fellow had recently succumbed to promotions for satellite TV, which advertised non-stop sport day and night.  It was to be expected, however, that his wife did not share his enthusiasm. One evening she could take it no longer and confronted her husband: “It’s like this every day,” said she.  “It’s true–you love football more than you love me.”

Such a cosmic question was new to the man, and several moments’ reflection was in order. “Why, yes, I do,” said he.  “But I can sincerely say,” he continued thoughtfully, “that I love you more than baseball …”


Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.


One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral. “No problem,” I told him. “Make it up the following week.”

That week came, and again he couldn’t take the test due to another funeral.

“You’ll have to take the test early next week,” I insisted. “I can’t keep postponing it.” “I’ll take the test next week if no one dies,” he told me.

By now I was suspicious. “How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?” I asked. “I don’t know any of these people,” he said. “I’m the only gravedigger in town.”


The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.

Aiden Nowlan


We telemarketers know we’re universally loathed.  Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone.  One day I called a number and asked to speak with Mr. Morgan.  The woman who answered explained that he no longer lived at that address, but she did have a number where he could be reached.

I thanked her, rang that number, and was greeted with, “Good morning, Highland View Cemetery.”


When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.

Author Unknown


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


On Sabbatical

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”


! 00000 On Sebbatical

When I wrote that I was feeling a little down because of what I was not doing or could not do lately a friend wrote and suggested that I just accepted todays reality as being temporary. Instead of worrying about what is not happening it is better to take advantage of the downtime. This is timely and good advice, by not spending time moping around I have the opportunity to do some things on my ”I’ll do it someday list.” So my friends advice has convinced me to take a sabbatical and not look at what I am not doing as missed obligations but rather as non-mandatory activities that are skipped as I do some rebuilding.

Here is a story for those of us who stay so busy doing what we do that we slow down never taking a break to recharge.


by: Stephen Covey

Once upon a time a very strong woodcutter ask for a job in a timber merchant, and he got it. The paid was really good and so were the work conditions. For that reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best.

His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to work.

The first day, the woodcutter brought 18 trees

“Congratulations,” the boss said. “Go on that way!”

Very motivated for the boss’ words, the woodcutter try harder the next day, but he only could bring 15 trees. The third day he try even harder, but he only could bring 10 trees.Day after day he was bringing less and less trees.

“I must be losing my strength”, the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on.

“When was the last time you sharpened your axe?” the boss asked.

“Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees…”


There is no need to run outside for better seeing… Rather abide at the center of your being for the more you leave it the less you learn. Search your heart and see… The way to do is to be.

Lao Tzu


An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, “To what do you attribute your good health?”

The old timer said, “I’m a golfer and that’s why I’m in such good shape.   I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.”

The doctor said, “Well, I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?”

The old timer said, “Who said my father’s dead?”

The doctor said, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your father is still alive?  How old is he?”

The old timer said, “He’s 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning. That’s why he’s still alive, he’s a golfer.”

The doctor said, “Well, that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?”

The old timer said, “Who said my grandpa’s dead?”

The doctor said, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! How old is he?”

The old timer said, “He’s 118 yrs old.”

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, “I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?”

The old timer said, “No…Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he got married.”

The doctor said in amazement, “Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?”

The old timer shot back, “Who said he wanted to?”


Management has created a wonderful solution, now they’re looking for a problem to go with it.


“Hey, Mom,” asked Little Johnny, “can you give me twenty dollars?”

“Certainly not,” she said.

“If you do,” he went on, “I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”

His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.

“Well? What did he say?”

“He said, ‘Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'”


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


My alphabet starts with this letter called yuzz.

It’s the letter I use to spell yuzz-a-ma-tuzz.

You’ll be sort of surprised what there is to be found,

once you go beyond ‘Z’ and start poking around.

Dr. Seuss


“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

Noel Coward


Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside.

One deacon ducked down and said, “I hope the reverend didn’t see us or recognize my pickup.”

The other replied indifferently, “What difference does it make. God knows we’re in here… and he’s the only one who counts.”

The first deacon countered, “Yeah, but God won’t tell my wife.”


“Daddy, Charlie asked me to marry him, but I told him I couldn’t leave Mama.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Take her with you.”


A young boy, who had a lisp, was supposed to start school one day, and was told by his mother to wait by the bus stop. The kid goes to the bus stop, sees the bus and starts waving his arms and shouting: “Buth driver .. Buth Driver thtop thtop! …” The bus just keeps on going.

The next day, after his mother was upset for the bus not stopping, tells him to go to the bus stop and wave an old rag she gave him. Again, he follow his mother’s instructions, waving the old rag and shouting “Hey buth driver…buth driver, thtop thtop!!..” Again, the bus just goes by. When he returned home, his mother was really upset and tells him:

“Damn it, tomorrow I want you to go out and stand in the middle of the street, and he’ll stop for sure.” The next day, he’s waiting for the bus, sees it, stands in the middle of the street and starts waving the rag and shouting: “Hey buth driver…buth driver…thtop thtop!!”

The bus just keeps going, hits him, knocks him down and breaks every bone in his body. Upset, after his mother found out about this, she went to the school to complain to the school’s principal, who calls the bus driver to the office and questions him about about his action.

“Why did you hit that poor boy?” the principal asked.

The bus driver replies: “I can’t thtand kidth that make fun of me!”


I wish you well and so I take my leave, I Pray you know me when we meet again.

William Shakespeare


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Don Marquis

! 00000 Procrastination

It was a long day yesterday at the doctors, the results being more tests, more appointments and hopefully followed by a period of rejuvenation. Lately it seems like I don’t have the energy to do much. I try to do my prescribed workouts every day in order regain some strength in my legs but the solution probably will rest in the hands of my pain doc later this month.

I’ll tell you a secret, my procrastination really bothers me but apparently not enough for me to do what I should be doing. Fortunately I have an understanding wife who even chauffers’ me around to meals outside and to  family functions. The good news is that there are a lot of skilled folks working on getting me back. I probably should warn you when I return there is no telling what I might do to make up for lost time. I expect this spring to include me springing back. Until then at least we get to share a little bit of our mornings together.

The ever wise Gretchen Rubin wrote the following some time ago, now all I need to do is heed her advice starting maybe tomorrow.

Putting Off Some Horrible Task? Try These 7 Tips.

  1. Do it first thing in the morning. If you’re dreading doing something, you’re going to be able to think of more creative excuses as the day goes along. One of my Twelve Commandments is “Do it now.” No delay is the best way.
  2. If you find yourself putting off a task that you try to do several times a week, do it every day. When I was planning my blog, I envisioned posting two or three times a week. Then a blogging friend convinced me that no, I should post every day. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, I’ve found that it’s easier to do it every day (well, except Sundays) than fewer times each week. There’s no dithering, there’s no juggling. I know I have to post, so I do. If you’re finding it hard to go for a walk four times a week, try going every day.
  3. Have someone keep you company. Studies show that we enjoy practically every activity more when we’re with other people. Having a friend along can be a distraction, a source of reassurance, or moral support.
  4. Make preparations, assemble the proper tools. Clean off your desk, get the phone number, find the file. I often find that when I’m dreading a task, it helps me to feel prepared. There’s a wonderful term that chefs use: mis-en-place, French for “everything in its place.” It describes the preparation done before starting to cook: gathering ingredients and implements, chopping, measuring, etc. Mis-en-place is preparation, but it’s also a state of mind; mis-en-place means you have everything at the ready, with no need to run out to the store or begin a frantic search for a sifter. You’re truly ready to begin to work.
  5. Commit. We’ve all heard the advice to write down your goals. This really works, so force yourself to do it. Usually this advice relates to long-term goals, but it works with short-term goals, too. On the top of a piece of paper, write, “By October 31, I will have _____.” This also gives you the thrill of crossing a task off your list. (See below.)
  6. Remind yourself that finishing a dreaded task is tremendously energizing. Studies show that hitting a goal releases chemicals in the brain that give you pleasure. If you’re feeling blue, although the last thing you feel like doing is something you don’t feel like doing, push yourself. You’ll get a big lift from it.
  7. Observe Power Hour. I get enormous satisfaction from my new habit of Power Hour. I came up with Power Hour because, as I was working on Better Than Before, my book about habit-formation, I wanted to create a habit of tackling dreaded tasks. But how could I form a single habit to cover a bunch of non-recurring, highly diverse tasks? I hit on an idea. Once a week, for one hour, I steadily work on these chores. An hour doesn’t sound like much time, but it’s manageable, and it’s amazing how much I can get done.


Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.

Mason Cooley


Joe, the Governor’s most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Joe for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Joe had been his closest friend.

So, it was understandable that the Governor didn’t take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Joe’s job. “They don’t even have the decency to wait until the man is buried,” the Governor muttered.

At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor’s side. “Governor,” the man said, “is there a chance that I could take Joe’s place?”

“Certainly,” the governor replied. “But you’d better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished.”


My psychiatrist says I’m manic-depressive ……I have mixed feelings about that.


She said:

It’s every airplane passenger’s nightmare:  Getting stuck near a crying baby. I was manning the ticket counter at a busy airport when the sound of a sobbing infant filled the air.  As the next passenger stepped up to the desk, he glanced up to the tot and rolled his eyes.

“Don’t worry,” I said to him cheerfully.  “Chances are that baby won’t be on your flight.”

Head shaking, he grimly replied, “Oh, I bet he will. That’s my son.”


You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.

Leo Aikman


The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his career when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy for directions to the post office. After being told the way by the lad, the Reverend Graham thanked him, adding:

“If you’ll come to the Central Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven.”

“No, I don’t think I’ll be there…” the boy said. “You don’t even know your way to the post office.”


If you want to make a woman nervous, just put her in a room with a hundred hats and no mirror.


Before setting off on a business trip to Tulsa, I called the hotel to see if there was a gym.  The hotel operator’s sigh had a tinge of exasperation in it.  “We have over 300 guests at this facility.  Does this ‘Gym’ have a last name?”


An angry Texas wife said to her husband, “You are being deliberately calm.”


Two Jewish ladies who were neighbors in New York met unexpectedly in Miami one winter.

“Why Shirley” one of them said, “I had no idea you were here”

“So listen Ruthie” said Shirley “now that we met I just must tell you, I am having an affair!”

“How wonderful” said Ruthie, “who is doing the catering?”


“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.”

William James


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Still rebuilding me

Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.

Norman Cousins

! 0000 recovery

It is another one of those days; I have an early appointment with my dentist outside of the city followed by a visit to the Brain Doctors for a brain scan that will take me up to early this afternoon. Yep, you got it, another Daily from the past.

Ray’s Daily first published on February 3, 2005

Yesterday I told you about the fun part of my vacation, the cruise. Now for the rest of the story.

As I was flying from San Juan to Orlando I started experiencing discomfort on the upper-part of my inner-thigh, I mean real upper, the area where I keep my private parts. After landing and getting to my sister-in-law’s home I dropped it all and discovered a lump that was becoming more bothersome. Two days later the lump had grown and the discomfort turned to pain. So off to the emergency room at the Leesburg Regional Medical Center. I got there a little after noon and was released around ten PM, after they performed surgery to drain an abscess that appeared to have been the result of an insect bite. They shot me up with antibiotics, packed the wound, gave me pain and antibiotic prescriptions and sent me on my way with instructions to have the packing removed in a couple of days. Since we then were staying at a hotel in Disney World I went to their local hospital and got the packing removed where I was told I still had problems and got a prescription for more antibiotics.

I got back to Indy the night before last and went to my primary physician yesterday, where she joined her predecessor medical professionals in an immodest examination. The result, I still have a problem and now I am on new antibiotics. Because I am infection prone and have had heart problems created by infection I soon will be seeing my infectious disease doc.

As you know I believe that there is something good in every situation. In this case there are a number of them; my brother-in-law pushed me in a wheel chair for two days at Disney World; I overcame any last vestige of modesty; and I participated in my sympathetic birthday celebration.

So my long term relationship with the medical community continues, enhanced by my latest opportunity for them to perform. It is like Dolly Parton says, “You can’t have a rainbow if you have no rain,” I just wish it would stop raining for a few days.


For every ailment under the sun, there is a remedy, or there is none,

If there be one, try to find it;

If there be none, never mind it.

Mother Goose


He said:

As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right! All you dummies… fall out!”

As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention.

The Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow.

I smiled and said,        “Sure was a lot of ’em, huh sir?”


A solicitous husband is a person who is interested in his wife’s happiness and hires a detective to find out who’s responsible for it.


TO: Medical Personnel

FROM: Human Resources

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

Cardiac patients should not be referred to with MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

Stroke patients are NOT “Charlie Carrots.” Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

Trauma patients are not FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or “hamburger helper”.

Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like “negative vehicle to vehicle interface” or “terminal deceleration syndrome.”

HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not “glow worms.”

Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered “pharmaceutically gifted.”

Gunshot wounds to the head are not “trans-occipital implants.”

The homeless are not “urban outdoorsmen”, nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a “PVC Challenge”.

And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being “paws up,” ART (assuming room temperature), or CTD (circling the drain).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper, narratives and log entries.


Director of Human Resources


I had amnesia once — or twice.


The house lights started to dim as a couple were returning to their seats after a trip to the movie theater concession stand for popcorn and soft drinks.

“Excuse me sir, but did I step on your toes on the way out?” the guy asked the man seated at the end of the row.

“You most certainly did!” the man responded angrily.

“Turning around to his wife, the husband says,

“All right, follow me, honey…. I found our row.”


“He who laughs most, learns best.”

John Cleese


The scene: Alexander Graham Bell’s laboratory. An exciting new discovery is about to take place. In the next room sits Bell’s assistant, a man named Watson, hard at work on Bell’s new invention to transmit sound over wires.

As Mr. Watson toiled away in the room with the receiver, it suddenly rings — it must be Bell!

He picks it up and hears: “Good evening, sir. Are you paying too much for your long distance service?”


A fish is an underwater creature that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time the fisherman describes it to his friends.


Two older women ( we’ll call them A & B ) who were rivals in a social circle met at a party. “My dear,” said Lady “A” “Are those real pearls?”

“They are,” replied Lady “B” “Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them.”

Smiled Lady “A” Lady “B” responded “Yes, but for that you would need real teeth.”


Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?


Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital. His best friend Morris came to visit him. Bernie struggles to tell Morris, “My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She’s so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside.”

“What does she read?” asks Morris.

“My life insurance policy.”


Never read the fine print. There ain’t no way you’re going to like it.


A woman from Michigan and another from the East coast were seated side-by-side on an airplane. The woman from Michigan, being friendly and all, said: “So, where are you from?”

The East coast woman said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”

The woman from Michigan sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: “So, where are you from, bitch?”


Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.

Warren Buffet


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Farewell Old Friend

Some folks arrive into our lives and depart leaving footprints on our hearts and we are in no way ever the very same.

Flavia Weedn

! 0000 goodbye

Yesterday I learned that one of my favorite people passed away after a long fight against the ravages of cancer. My friend was smart, caring and always had a winning sense of humor. I will miss him as I know hundreds of others will as well. He was a retired college professor who had a special relationship with the students at his University and with hundreds of others that he encountered in his global activities. I am at the age where I watch as many good people I have known and worked with over the years end there productive lives and while they have left me with fond memories their departure is always painful.

This morning I will be investing in my own longevity by spending time with one of my doctors as we work to restore my mobility. I need to do that so I am mobile enough to go to my dentist tomorrow and continue my rebuilding efforts the rest of the week.

One thing we can’t do is let what happens around us dampen our spirit as hard as that is some times. Today I needed an uplift so I pulled up an article from the Mental Floss blog written by Whitney Matheson. Here in part is what she wrote:

Author Gretchen Rubin received international attention for her 2009 best-selling book, The Happiness Project, in which she reexamines her own happiness and tries to develop mood-boosting habits.

Tips For Getting ‘Happier’ in 60 Seconds (Or Less)

With her weekly podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, her quest for happier living continues.This week, I asked Rubin to share some of her most efficient mood-boosting tips. For the most part, they can be accomplished in a minute or less:


Rubin says she “used to scoff at scented candles,” but now she understands scents are “a way to get a quick lift without any time and energy, money, no planning, no calories.”


Overwhelmed by unreturned texts, unopened mail, and other tiny tasks? “The one-minute rule says that anything I can do in less than a minute, I should do without delay,” Rubin says. “So I don’t postpone hanging up my coat, printing out a document and filing it, glancing over a letter and throwing it away. What this does is it gets rid of that scum on the surface of life.”


“I mean, I don’t watch a TV show if I don’t like it,” Rubin says. So why not apply the same logic to books? “I used to have this feeling that a ‘real reader’ would finish a book if [she] started it. … Now I just have so much more time to read the books that I like, and I like everything that I read.”


“It’s familiar, but it actually really does work,” Rubin says. “It’s a very easy way to change your mood.”


Rubin also swears by this simple energy-booster, especially when you may only have a few seconds to spare.


Rubin draws a direct connection between habits and happiness, and she also notes that hard rules can spare one the agony of decision-making.

“My sister doesn’t eat any kind of junk food at work. I gave up sugar altogether,” she says. “Sometimes bright-line rules are easier, because they kind of get you out of a debate with yourself, which is very exhausting and often futile.”

She adds, “You don’t have to decide whether or not to eat dessert, you don’t have to decide whether or not to go to the gym. You’ve already decided, and so it’s on automatic.”


The song is ended, but the melody lingers on.


He said:

When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt pretty confident of her ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors. As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.

Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered,      “My son is a lawyer.”

As a follow-up, she was asked if she had ever used the services of an attorney.

“Only to mow my lawn.”


Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery


Beware of the following new computer viruses!

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS – Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS – You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS – Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying it’s own motherboard. Becomes very jealous of the size of your friend’s hard drive.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS – Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

MAFIA VIRUS – You don’t want it, but you’re afraid to get rid of it.

MARTHA STEWART VIRUS – Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.

PROZAC VIRUS – Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.

STAR TREK VIRUS – Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.


What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?

A dog that runs for help after it bites your leg off.


As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?”

One man stepped forward. “Aye, Captain, I know how to pray.”

“Good,” said the captain, “you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets – we’re one short.”


Half the people in the world are below average.


She said:

My teenager, Mike, was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.

“I know,” he replied.  “It’s a fad me and some of the other guys at school started.”

Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented…

“I can’t stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you.”

I gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled Mike’s hair.

“Yeah…” he said smiling slyly.  “All the girls do.”


Excuse me, then! You know my heart;

But dearest friends, alas! must part.

John Gay


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Older Again

“Keep your heart always warm.”
Lailah Gifty Akita

! 0000 begin

Today is February first and as happens every year I woke up this morning a year older. My family gathered and provided me a birthday party this past weekend that included entertainment provided by my mobile infant grandson. The contrast between his energy and my lack of energy reminded me how eight decades of life has slowed me down. I keep forgetting my age, amongst other things, but my body has a tendency to remind me more than I like it too.
I have found that the secret is to sustain an outlook that allows me to find pleasure in what I can do without a lot of remorse for what I can’t do, in all honesty no one’s more surprised than I am that I have lived this long and can still enjoy as much as I do. So I am off to the gym this morning where I will make an effort to work the kinks out of my joints while putting some strength back in my legs.
Like I said I think they key to life is a positive outlook. Here is a story a friend sent me ten years ago that I have always liked, I think you will too.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.”
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions — things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else — the small stuff.
“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So…Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
“Take care of the golf balls first– the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”


“Life can be awful. Life can be ugly.And still there are those who smile at the darkness, anticipating the beauty of an eventual sunrise.”

Richelle E. Goodrich


An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked for his departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay due to the increased traffic now leaving New York.
Sometime later he finally received his clearance and decided he would try to make up the time lost by asking for a direct route to Los Angeles. Halfway across the country he was told to turn due South.
Knowing that this turn would now throw him further behind schedule he inquired, quite agitated, to the controller for the reason of the turn off course. The controller replied that the turn was for noise abatement.
The pilot was infuriated and said to the controller, “Look buddy, I am already way behind schedule with all the delays you guys have given me today. I really don’t see how I could be causing a noise problem for pedestrians when I am over six miles above the earth!”
The controller answered in a calm voice, “Apparently, Captain, you have never heard two 747s collide!”


“When the archer misses the mark, he turns and looks for the fault within himself. Failure to hit the bull’s eye is never the fault of the target. To improve your aim — improve yourself.”

Gilbert Garland

A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom – only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.
“Dammit woman!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose everything?”

My mail is a little slow. Last month my flower seeds came as a bouquet.

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”
One child blurted out, “Aces!”

Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.
Her response: “Just meet me in the parking lot!”


I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.

Robert Brault

The guest lecturer to a famous Medical College stopped by the bulletin board on his way to the lecture room.
Listed for the day was the topic, “Surprises in Obstetrics.” Scrawled under it in pencil were the words,
“Mary had a little lamb.”


An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.

William Castle

He said… Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said…Not at all honey, I’d love you no matter who left you the money.


“I can and will improve the world. I will smile, show kindness, and be grateful. I refuse to be unhappy.”

Richelle E. Goodrich
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell
Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Tag Cloud