Ray's musings and humor

Archive for January, 2016

Worry? No Thanks!

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

! 0000 Don't worry

I think I have told you in the past that I have a tendency not to worry until it is too late. I don’t know if it is a result of my procrastination that I put worry off until the elusive tomorrow or an ingrained understanding that most of the things we worry about seldom come to pass. But for whatever reason I’ll take peace of mind any day.

I honestly think that the anxiety over what may happen is often much worse than what does happen. At least those of us who live in the moment know where we are rather than were we might be later in our imagination.

I think Buddha often had the right answer. Here is a story I like that is based on his teachings.

Peace of Mind

Once, Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. This was in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water and, right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!” So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.”

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, “See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be … and the mud settled down on its own – and you got clear water… Your mind is also like that. When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.”

~~~

Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give – pleasure, possessions, power – but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.

Dada Vaswani

~~~

One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Ohio were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.” So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.” The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park…. Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?”

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time.”

~~~

I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not sure.

~~~

A man owned a small farm in Indiana. The Indiana State Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” Demanded the agent.

“Well,” replied the farmer, “there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

“The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.

“Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”

“That’s the guy I want to talk to… the half-wit,” says the agent.

“That would be me,” replied the farmer.

~~~

Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.

T.S. Elliot

~~~

“Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Jennifer has been most difficult. I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. You were perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All right.”

He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room, “Jennifer, your mother wants to talk to you!”

~~~

The great man is he who does not lose his child’s heart.

Menicus

~~~

I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Carrie, suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in my hand, she cried out, “Aha! I caught you!”

I froze and tried to think of an explanation for why I, instead of the tooth fairy, was putting the money under her pillow, but her next words let me off the hook completely.

“You put that money back!” she said indignantly. “The tooth fairy left that for me!”

~~~

Happiness comes through doors you didn’t even know you left open.

~~~

A tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part when the pumpkin turns into a golden coach.

Suddenly, she piped up, “Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classified as income or a long-term capital gain?”

~~~

Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.

Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi

~~~

My broker called me this morning and said, “Remember that stock we bought and I said you’d be able to retire at age 65?”

“Yes, I remember,” I said.

“Well,” my broker continued. “Your retirement age is now 108.”

~~~

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension.”

George F. Burns

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Be You!

Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.
Antoine De Saint-Exupery

! 000 be_yourself 2

I hope you are warm where you are, we have been experiencing subzero arctic like weather. Of course one of the side benefits of being homebound lately is like living in the tropics while the world freezes around you. The bad news is that it also results in cabin fever so I use old movies, books and the internet to keep me occupied.
I do try to get to the gym early every morning before my wife wakes and I am working on increasing my activities or at least hope to be soon. In the meantime I wish our world was in less turmoil. If other people were like you we all would be better off.
I was just sent the following that I think has value and should provide hope for us that are all striving to do better:
Allow Your Own Inner Light to Guide You
• There comes a time when you must stand alone.
• You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
• You must be willing to make sacrifices.
• You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
• Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
• There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
• Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
• Be confident enough that you won’t settle for a compromise just to get by.
• Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.
• Don’t stand in someone else’s shadow when it’s your sunlight that should lead the way.
• Work hard at what you like to do and try to overcome all obstacles
• Laugh at your mistakes and praise yourself for learning from them
• Pick some flowers and appreciate the beauty of nature
• Say hello to strangers and enjoy the people you know
• Don’t be afraid to show your emotions laughing and crying make you feel better
• Love your friends and family with your entire being they are the most important part of your life
• Feel the calmness on a quiet sunny day
• Find a rainbow and live your world of dreams always remember life is better than it seems

~~~

In spite of unseasonable wind, snow and unexpected weather of all sorts – a gardener still plants. And tends what they have planted … believing that Spring will come.

Mary Anne Radmacher
~~~

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Mexico City. One has a cross in front of him, the other one the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite.”
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the beggar with the cross and said, “Moishe, look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing.”

~~~

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Oprah Winfrey
~~~

The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn’t bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: “Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it.”

~~~
My son complains all the time about headaches. I tell him all the time, “when you get out of bed, it’s feet first!”

Henry Youngman
~~~
The letter, shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 96 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my social security check, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:
1. To make an appointment to see me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client
(Remember: This was written by a 96 year old woman)

~~~
“Don’t criticize your wife. If she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.”
~~~

Determined to cut the budget, the former governor directed that all government jobs remain unfilled once vacated. There were many complaints, one concerning the retirement of a drawbridge operator. When Personnel refused to fill the position, the highway- division manager called the governor’s office.
“Ask the governor,” he told an aide, “whether he wants the bridge left down so the cars can go over – or up so the ships can go through.”

~~~

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do. Even mistakes mean you’re trying.”
Susan Gale
~~~
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell
Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Tomorrow?

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.

William James

! 0000 Procrastination3

It’s has been somewhat of a challenging weekend. In the old days I lived year to year these days’ time moves so fast that I now live one day at a time. This weekend I had to fulfill a promise of composing a document for a worthy organization and I had a really hard time getting started. There is more things I should be doing but I keep delaying any action.

I seem to have left my verve somewhere and I can’t find it. I plan on looking again today after I drag myself to the gym for my mandatory rehab exercises. At least I will be rewarded with a breakfast with a good friend. In the meantime I’ll get to the other stuff tomorrow.

As I was searching for my verve yesterday I ran across these suggestions which I plan on following day after tomorrow.

Six easy steps you can take to completely eliminate procrastination. 

And remove the feelings of guilt and stress that come with it.

  1. Discover and clarify exactly what your subconscious self really wants to do and not do. Discover and clarify you own deep priorities, your own self-imposed obstacles (The things you do not want to do) and your passions. Discover real self-awareness.
  2. Replace the word “Should” in all of your own self-talk with the word “Want.” By doing so you eliminate the control of the outside forces and you take control of your choices, and more importantly you avoid the world of procrastination. Go ahead, pick something you normally procrastinate and now tell yourself you want to do it, but on your own terms. Immediately you will feel a sense of relief and control.

Yet, there are just some tasks that you dislike doing that you determined would be best for you to perform yourself, because not doing so would create worse consequences. We face many of these every day. Using the 4 discipline based steps below will not only make it much easier, but will maximize your positive results.

  1. Discover which activities you dislike performing, whether consciously or subconsciously that you feel must be performed by you. Be sure you really are the best person to perform these activities, knowing that you have a strong distaste for doing so, and that this conflict might reduce your capacity to produce the most favorable results you would want.
  2. Create ways to avoid as many of the activities you dislike, that others can perform better, so you do not burden yourself with unnecessary stresses, and self-criticism.
  3. Organize the timing and places to perform the activities you do not like but decided you must perform anyway in a manner that best suits your priorities and conditions, to allow you to perform these undesirable activities as quickly and effectively as possible.
  4. Celebrate the completion of these “must do distasteful tasks” every time. Reward yourself with positive events that are associated with their completion, which will enhance your desire to initiate performing them the next time.

~~~

It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.

Earl of Chesterfield

~~~

Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, young Lora said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”

The woman shot her an angry look, “Lora, how dare you talk about your father like that!”

~~~

Nowadays, when Granny sits at the spinning wheel, chances are she’s at the casino.

~~~

I was carpooling with my friend Craig, he noticed that the “Check oil” light was on. He pulled into the gas station, got out of the car, opened the hood, checked the engine oil, closed the hood, then got back into the car. “Can we make a quick stop?” He asked.

“Sure,” I replied, “what did you need to do?”

“I need to stop by the auto parts place to get a longer dipstick?”

“What do you need a longer one for?” I enquired.

“Because the one I got isn’t long enough to reach the oil!”

~~~

A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart but he’s not very bright.

~~~

A friend of mine, a catering manager, lacks certain social skills–like knowing when to keep her mouth shut! While discussing a baby christening party with a young couple, she told the mother, “You look like you’ve lost most of your pregnancy weight.”

“Thanks,” came the clenched-teeth reply. We adopted.”

~~~

“Everybody keeps saying that women are smarter than men, but did you ever see a man wearing a shirt that buttons down the back?”

~~~

A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme?'” she asked.

“Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.”

“Is that a record?” she inquired, puzzled in her turn.

“I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get.”

~~~

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

~~~

A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through the big book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, “You know, I can’t see that you did anything really good in your life, but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you’re in.”

The guy thinks for a moment and says, “Well, there was the time when I was driving down the highway and I saw a group of biker guys gathered around this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there were about 20 of ’em tormenting this girl.” “Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the gang formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader’s chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, ‘Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You’re all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'”

St. Peter, impressed, says, “Really? When did this happen?”

“Oh, about two minutes ago.”

~~~

My childhood was rough. Once for my birthday my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, “I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?”

“Why don’t you ask the rabbi?” says Morris.

Cecil sees Rabbi Golden and asks, “Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?”

“No, you may not. That’s utter disrespect to our religion and traditions!” quickly answers the rabbi.

Cecil goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him.

“I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”

Morris goes over to the rabbi and asks, “Rabbi, will it be ok if I pray while I smoke?”

To which Rabbi Golden eagerly replies, “By all means, my good man. By all means.”

~~~

To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.

Eva Young

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I’m too tired

“The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

! 000 do good work

I slept in some and am pretty brain dead this morning. So rather than taking a chance on boring you I am again dipping into the back issue file.

Ray’s Daily first published on January 15, 2009

Do you realize that it is already the middle of January? With my trips, the New Year and getting caught up it almost got away from me. Fortunately it is not too late to fulfill January obligations; you know the ones we in the U.S. are expected to deal with each January. So I’ll step away for a moment and do some research and let you know what we are supposed to be doing.

OK, I’m back, I just am sorry I waited so long to get you what you needed to plan your Jan.

It is:

  • Business and Reference Books Month – I already missed this one, the libraries cake and ice cream reference book party was held while I was in Costa Rica.
  • Crime Stoppers Month – How about you and I getting wild and crazy and let’s stop crime all year! What do you think? I know my new friend Agent #100 will help.
  • January Diet Month – Come on you guys, did you put this here just because I gained five pounds on my cruise?
  • National Be On-Purpose Month – Now isn’t this a kick in the head, I thought I was on purpose all year, I just didn’t know I wasn’t.
  • National Book Blitz Month – The books haven’t blitzed my neighborhood yet, at least I don’t think they have. Last year they left fly leafs, title pages, and tables of contents strewn everywhere.
  • National Egg Month – I am sorry I don’t have any national eggs all mine are from Indiana.
  • National Barbecue Month – Today the wind chill is about ten degrees below zero and if they think I am going out and barbecue they must be crazy. I am storing this one until May.
  • Date Your Mate Month – I would but she turned me down, she would rather go shopping!
  • National Prune the Fat Month – OK, enough is enough, you have already made your point.
  • National Yours, Mine and Ours Month – Ok she got hers and you got yours, where’s mine?
  • Prevention of Cruelty to Your Money Month – Wall Street has all of mine in some battered money shelter someplace; if I ever get any of it back I promise I’ll be kind.

I better go and get started or it will be February and you know what that means, you do don’t you?

~~~

A pessimist is one who is seasick on the entire voyage of life.

~~~

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.

“This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,” said one.

“No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the other.

And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence. “Bring me my biggest sword,” said Solomon, “and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half.”

“Sounds good to me,” said the first lady.

But the other woman said, “Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman’s daughter marry him.”

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. “The attorney must marry the first lady’s daughter,” he proclaimed.

“But she was willing to hew him in two!” exclaimed the king’s court.

“Indeed,” said wise King Solomon. “That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law.”

You know in reality most people I know like their mother-in-law often getting along better with them since they are less likely to provide the regular counsel we get from our own Mom’s, I often wonder why they don’t realize that their children’s puberty ended while they were teens, not when they are in their sixties. – Ray

~~~

Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.

~~~

A woman goes to her lawyer to ask about getting a divorce.  The lawyer asks, “Does he beat you?”

“No, he does not.”

“Does he keep you short of money?”

“No, he does not.”

“Is he a perpetual drunkard?”

“No, he is not.”

“Is he unfaithful to you?”

“Ahhh, we’ve got him there. He was not the father of my last child.”

~~~

A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.

~~~

She tells me that the difference between her and I is:

When I get angry it’s because I’m ill-tempered…It just happens that her nerves are bothering her.

When I don’t like someone it’s because I’m prejudiced…She just happens to be a good judge of human nature.

When I compliment people it’s because I use flattery to get my way… She only encourages people.

When I take a long time to do a job it’s because I’m unbearably slow and pokey… She takes a long time because she believes in quality workmanship.

When I spend my paycheck in 24 hours, it’s because I’m a spendthrift… When she does, it’s because she’s generous.

When I stay in bed until 11 A.M., it’s because I’m a lazy good-for-nothing… When she stays in bed a little longer, it’s because she’s totally exhausted.

~~~

“It’s okay. I didn’t believe in reincarnation last time either.”

~~~

Two girls board a crowded bus and one of them whispers to the other, “Watch me embarrass a man into giving me his seat.” Pushing her way through the crowd, she turned all of her charms upon a gentleman who looked like he might embarrass easily.  “My dear Mr. Wilson,” she gushed, “fancy meeting you here on the bus.  Am I glad to see you! Why you’re almost a stranger.  My, but I’m tired!”

The sedate gent looked up at the girl.  He had never seen her before but he rose and said pleasantly, “Sit down, Mary, my girl.  It isn’t often I see you on washday.  No wonder you’re tired.  Being pregnant isn’t easy. By the way, don’t deliver the wash until Thursday.  My wife is going to the District Attorney’s office to see whether or not she can get your husband out of jail.”

~~~

In my day, we didn’t have virtual computer reality. If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.

~~~

Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,” Ralphie said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays, “It’s the best Christmas present I ever got.”

“That’s great,” smiled his uncle, “Have you learned how to play it yet?”

“Oh, I don’t play it,” Ralphie said, “My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night.”

~~~

Here is some of the best advice ever given.

“There are many who are living far below their possibilities because they are continually handing over their individualities to others. Do you want to be a power in the world? Then be yourself. Be true to the highest within your soul and then allow yourself to be governed by no customs or conventionalities or arbitrary man-made rules that are not founded on principle.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

What did you hear?

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Winston Churchill

! 000 listen

Last night I listened to our governor make his State of the State address. His speech did little to build bridges between the competing interests of an ever more partisan society. At a time when most of what we hear are candidates shouting epitaphs without regard to truth or accuracy we need to step back and invest in understanding the issues of the day instead of listening to what someone says is wrong with the other guy.

Some of us are so polarized that we no longer hear the other guy. We don’t read newspapers, we no longer study civics and we limit our information sources to those aligned with our prejudices. We complain about the society we live in, yet few of us spend any time trying to learn how to make it better.

I know you and our other readers are the exception but unfortunately few of the exceptional folks are being heard these days.

I am sure that those who liked our governor before last night loved his speech before he even gave it as much as his distractors hated it. I am sure it was the same with the President’s State of the Nation speech. There is little hope if the majority of us chose to hide in our fantasy worlds and leave the governing of our lives to others. The results will continue to give us what we deserve.

Here is a Yiddish Folk tale that applies to far too many today.

Good People

An old man sat outside the walls of a great city. When travelers approached, they would ask the old man, “What kind of people live in this city?” The old man would answer, “What kind of people live in the place where you came from?” If the travelers answered, “Only bad people live in the place where we came from,” the old man would reply, “Continue on; you will find only bad people here.”

But if the travelers answered, “Good people live in the place where we came from,” then the old man would say, “Enter, for here too, you will find only good people.”

~~~

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Stephen R. Covey

~~~

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A REDNECK WHEN…

  • You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
  • Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
  • Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
  • The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
  • You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

~~~

I have a terrible memory. I never forget a thing.

Edith Konecky

~~~

While watching a movie recently, I couldn’t hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women sitting in front of me.

Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder. “Excuse me,” I said, “I can’t hear.”

“I should hope not,” she replied sharply. “This is a private conversation.”

~~~

Learn to write your hurts in the sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone.

~~~

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.   “Next question,” announced the instructor. “How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?”

I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, “How do you spell ‘intellectual?'”

~~~

“Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.”

Ogden Nash

~~~

My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. “Would you like to go out, girl?” he asked.

Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, “Oh, yes, I’d love to!”

They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn’t until much later that Dad finally confessed that his question had actually been directed to the family dog, laying near Mom’s feet on the kitchen floor.

~~~

Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

Virginia Satir

~~~

She said: My husband grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally, losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong. “I have to ask you to move your car,” my husband told him.

“Oh, sure. Is it in someone’s way”?

“No,” he replied. “It’s parked in the wrong driveway.”

~~~

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

~~~

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden!   Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden.

After about a half mile the boy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him.   “Lets see yer fishin’ license, Boy!” the Warden gasped.

With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

“Well, son”, said the Game Warden, “You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!”

“Yes Sir”, replied the young boy,” But my friend back there, well, he don’t have one”…

~~~

I have kleptomania, but I’m taking something for it.

~~~

A worried father asked his daughter if her latest beau was serious about their relationship.

“I’ll say he is, Daddy,” responded the girl. “Just last night he asked me how much you make, what kind of meals Mom serves, and if you two are easy to get along with.”

~~~

It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.”

Dick Cavett

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Life, it goes on!

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

Allan K. Chalmers

! 000 enjoy-life

My wife and I are hibernating; in fact yesterday I never made it to the gym choosing instead to watch the snowfall from inside our house. Since I have been semi-grounded for a while I have had a lot of practice observing the world from my perch. I am still trying to deal with a more sedentary existence but it is not easy. I will brave the weather this morning so I can get to the YMCA for some light exercise and then pick up food and medicine for the week.

I am missing some important opportunities for service lately and that is bothersome. All I can do is the best I can do and hope my friends will understand. It may take some time but I will be back, maybe doing less but at least doing something. I actually need the activity.

Here is an article that was published on the Positivity Blog that I would like to share with you today. I did some minor editing for space reasons but kept the main points.

5 Empowering Questions for a Self-Kinder and More Successful 2016

Henrik Edberg

Is this useful?

  It’s very easy to spend a lot of time on things that do not really matter much. To spend hours, days or even weeks on being angry at someone, replaying a mistake or failure in one’s mind or to dwell on something negative and feeling more and more like a victim.

  So I try to ask myself this question as often as I can to question and confront my own thoughts.  To catch myself and to wake myself up when I get stuck in negative thought loops going round and round. By doing so I:

  • Suffer less.
  • Waste less time on going round in circles.
  • Spend more of my time on finding a practical solution.

What is the most important thing I can do right now?

  If you get lost in what to do in your day, week and life then this question can be very helpful.  It might not always give you the answer you want, because the most important thing you can do right now is often one of the harder things you can do. But it will help you to truly focus on the few things that matters the most in any area of your life. And if it feels too hard to get started with that then just ask yourself…

What is one small step I can take right now to get the ball rolling?

  This is my favorite question for when I want to get started with something or if I want to get going again with something that have fallen to the side for some reason.  Because it makes things easier. Makes them feel lighter.  This question prevents me from trying to escape into procrastination and helps me to avoid the side-effects of that such as sinking self-esteem, self-loathing and simply a lot of time being wasted on trying to hide.

Is there anyone on the planet having it worse than me right now?

  This question does seldom deliver enjoyable answers, but it sure does snap me out of negative thinking or feeling sorry for myself.  Now, I think it is natural to sometimes feel sad or sorry for yourself for a little while. If you don’t take the time to process such natural responses to negative situations then those feelings can pop up later. And so you feel inexplicably sad or you might get angry or irritated at other people for no good reason.  But my experience is also that these things can go too far. It’s easy to get stuck in these disempowering thoughts for too long.  So I like to use this question to zoom out when I feel that my perspective has become too self-centered and narrow.  And it has over the years taught me a lot about the things that I too often may take for granted but can be very grateful to have in my life.

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even 5 weeks?

This one helps me to simplify. To let go. To not make a mountain out of a molehill. To find the healthier and happier perspective.  To find a lightness in life where I do not have to carry around 5 tons of unnecessary mental baggage. It’s a truly wonderful question.

~~~

Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower.

Shigenori Kameoka

~~~

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, “We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.” So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.

Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.

Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: “Thank you for participating in Delta’s physical fitness program.”

~~~

Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.

Maya Angelou

~~~

The passengers on a cruise ship were fascinated by the sight of a bedraggled, bearded man on a small island.  The ship passed slowly by as he desperately shouted and waved his arms.

“Who is that person on the island?” one of the passengers asked a ship’s officer…

“I have no idea,” mused the officer “but every year when we pass that island he goes crazy.”

~~~

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.

Cesare Pavese

~~~

The Letterman Top Ten list was adapted by comics for ship jokes, then stolen by cruise directors and now is used by all of them as the top ten dumb questions asked by passengers.

“Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship?”

“Do these stairs go up or down?”

“How far are we above sea level?”

“Does the crew sleep on board?” (No, we tow them in the life boats.) ”

“Do the ship generate it’s own electricity?” (No, we pull an extension cord from Miami.)

To photographers:  “If the photos aren’t marked, how do we know which ones are ours?”

“Is the water in the toilet fresh water or sea water?” (I don’t know, I haven’t tasted it.)

“What do you do with the ice carvings after they’ve melted?”

“Is there music in the Disco?”

“What time is the Midnight Buffet?”

~~~

We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

Hilaire Belloc

~~~

A member of the pursers department told me that she had to deal with a complaint from one of the passengers saying that their tour guide in Egypt was a liar. When asked why, the passenger said “He told me that the pyramids were four thousand years old, does he think we are stupid? It’s only 2016 now”

~~~

Your ambition should be to get as much life out of living as you possibly can, as much enjoyment, as much interest, as much experience, as much understanding. Not simply be what is generally called a “success.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We are back

Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.

Booth Tarkington

! 000 assist-service

My wife and I returned from a visit to North Carolina where we helped celebrate our brother-in-law’s 80th birthday. We are both glad we went as it gave us a chance to see relatives and friends that we seldom see and many we will never see again. Our daughters surprised us when they showed up after driving to Charlotte from Indianapolis to join in the celebration; we did not know they were coming.

While we enjoyed the days we stayed with our niece we found the travel to be grueling. Fortunately we booked non-stop flights in both directions but walking to the gates was a challenge for me and I was glad that I had already had a heart bypass or I would have been eating nitro pills. Also there should be a rule that the airline arrival gates should be in the same state as the baggage claim. Fortunately the baggage claim was so slow that our checked bag had not arrived even though it took me a half hour to get to the luggage area.

Like I said I really need to get my stamina back so I will be back at the Gym this morning. In the meantime if you are traveling and you see an old guy on a cart or being pushed to the gate, wave it might be me.

My good friend Ken in Alabama is slightly older than I am so he understands. This is what was waiting in my e-mail from him yesterday.

THE BACK NINE

You know … Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.

  But, here it is… The back nine of my life and it catches me by surprise…How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

  I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that I was only on the first hole and the back nine was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.

  But, here it is…my friends are retired and getting gray…they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me…but, I see the great change…Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant…but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we’d become.

  Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore… it’s mandatory! Cause if I don’t on my own free will… I just fall asleep where I sit!

  And so…now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! But, at least I know, that though I’m on the back nine, and I’m not sure how long it will last…this I know, that when it’s over on this earth…it’s over. A new adventure will begin!Yes, I have regrets.There are things I wish I hadn’t done…things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I’m happy to have done. It’s all in a lifetime.

  So, if you’re not on the back nine yet…let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don’t put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you’re on the back nine or not!

  You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life…so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember…and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!

~~~

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN; YET THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS

~~~

While giving a physical, the doctor noticed that his patient’s shins were covered with dark, savage bruises.

“Tell me,” said the doctor, “do you play hockey or soccer?”

“Neither….” said the man,        “My wife and I play bridge.”

~~~

The reputation of a thousand years  may be determined by the conduct of one hour.

Japanese Proverb

~~~

She said…..

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him: and Patience for his moods.

Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I’ll beat him to death!

~~~

WORRY: INTEREST PAID ON TROUBLE BEFORE IT FALLS DUE.

~~~

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th’ bag?”

“Jes’ some chickens.”

“If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?”

“Shoot, if ya guesses right, I’ll give you both of ’em!” “OK.

“Ummmmm…five?”

~~~

I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!

~~~

A tired homemaker opened the front door of her home to find the Rev from the Mudville Church who said, “I’m collecting donations for the new children’s home we’re building. I hope you’ll give what you can.”

“To be sure,” said the beleaguered woman, “I’ll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each.”

~~~

To err is human.  To forgive is against company policy.

~~~

“Great news, Mr. Smith,” the psychiatrist reported. “After eighteen months of therapy, I can confidently pronounce you completely cured of your kleptomania. You’ll never be tempted by such desires again.”

“That’s great, doctor,” said the patient with a sigh of relief.

“And just to prove it, I want you to stop off at Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store. You’ll feel no temptation whatsoever to shoplift.”

“Oh, doctor, however can I thank you?”

“Well,” suggested the doctor, “if you do have a relapse, I could use a microwave.”

~~~

“As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning.”

Criss Jami

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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