Ray's musings and humor

I’m most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don’t have that, you really don’t have very much.

Bob Newhart

! 0000 grandchildren

I was thinking yesterday as I learned of another success of one of my grandchildren how much I appreciate the great gifts my three children gave to my wife and me, their children. Our grandchildren are not kids anymore, four are in college and three are making their way in the world. All are doing well but best of all they are nice people, who care for each other in a way that I have not seen too often in other families.

They give my wife and me joy going out of their way to stay in touch and wish us well. They even help us with chores that we find difficult to do these days. I think of them as friends and not just family. If Nancy and I had to choose what has been the greatest result of our more than sixty years of marriage it would have to be our children and the children they have raised.

Here are excerpts from something I picked up recently that I appreciate, I thought you might as well.

Letter to My Grandchildren

Author Unknown

To my beautiful grandchildren…

Our world is changing so fast and there are many things I wish for you…

I’d really like for you to know about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother or sister.

And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when they want to crawl under the covers with you because they’re scared, I hope you let them.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother or sister wants to tag along, I hope you’ll let them.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your grandparents and go fishing with your uncle.

These are just some of the things that I wish for you – tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life.

~~~

“A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.”

Unknown

~~~

I don’t know about you, but I find those Out-Of-The-Office eMail Auto-Replies so ordinary and tedious. Here are some alternatives.

  • Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
  • Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
  • You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. Your message is valuable to me.
  • In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert SOB Boss’s home phone number here).
  • The my email server is unable to deliver your message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
  • Please reply to this email so I will know that you got this message saying I am not here.

~~~

Only two percent of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave their house.

Ninety eight percent of men kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife!!

~~~

The Evolution Of Mom

Your Clothes

* 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

* 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

* 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby’s Name

* 1st baby: You pore over baby name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.

* 2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

* 3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth

* 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

* 2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

* 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

Worries

* 1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.

* 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

* 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Going Out

* 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

* 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

* 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

~~~

She said: “My kids just don’t understand my logic.

They fail to see why they have to go to bed when I’m tired.”

~~~

Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.

Judge: And why is that?

Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case.

Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant’s motion?

Public Defender: What? I’m sorry, Your Honor. I wasn’t listening.

~~~

That’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, bar none, is having grandchildren and living by them and being part of their lives.

Helen Garner

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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