Ray's musings and humor

We are back

Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.

Booth Tarkington

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My wife and I returned from a visit to North Carolina where we helped celebrate our brother-in-law’s 80th birthday. We are both glad we went as it gave us a chance to see relatives and friends that we seldom see and many we will never see again. Our daughters surprised us when they showed up after driving to Charlotte from Indianapolis to join in the celebration; we did not know they were coming.

While we enjoyed the days we stayed with our niece we found the travel to be grueling. Fortunately we booked non-stop flights in both directions but walking to the gates was a challenge for me and I was glad that I had already had a heart bypass or I would have been eating nitro pills. Also there should be a rule that the airline arrival gates should be in the same state as the baggage claim. Fortunately the baggage claim was so slow that our checked bag had not arrived even though it took me a half hour to get to the luggage area.

Like I said I really need to get my stamina back so I will be back at the Gym this morning. In the meantime if you are traveling and you see an old guy on a cart or being pushed to the gate, wave it might be me.

My good friend Ken in Alabama is slightly older than I am so he understands. This is what was waiting in my e-mail from him yesterday.

THE BACK NINE

You know … Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.

  But, here it is… The back nine of my life and it catches me by surprise…How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

  I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that I was only on the first hole and the back nine was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.

  But, here it is…my friends are retired and getting gray…they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me…but, I see the great change…Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant…but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we’d become.

  Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore… it’s mandatory! Cause if I don’t on my own free will… I just fall asleep where I sit!

  And so…now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! But, at least I know, that though I’m on the back nine, and I’m not sure how long it will last…this I know, that when it’s over on this earth…it’s over. A new adventure will begin!Yes, I have regrets.There are things I wish I hadn’t done…things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I’m happy to have done. It’s all in a lifetime.

  So, if you’re not on the back nine yet…let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don’t put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you’re on the back nine or not!

  You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life…so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember…and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!

~~~

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN; YET THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS

~~~

While giving a physical, the doctor noticed that his patient’s shins were covered with dark, savage bruises.

“Tell me,” said the doctor, “do you play hockey or soccer?”

“Neither….” said the man,        “My wife and I play bridge.”

~~~

The reputation of a thousand years  may be determined by the conduct of one hour.

Japanese Proverb

~~~

She said…..

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him: and Patience for his moods.

Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I’ll beat him to death!

~~~

WORRY: INTEREST PAID ON TROUBLE BEFORE IT FALLS DUE.

~~~

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th’ bag?”

“Jes’ some chickens.”

“If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?”

“Shoot, if ya guesses right, I’ll give you both of ’em!” “OK.

“Ummmmm…five?”

~~~

I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!

~~~

A tired homemaker opened the front door of her home to find the Rev from the Mudville Church who said, “I’m collecting donations for the new children’s home we’re building. I hope you’ll give what you can.”

“To be sure,” said the beleaguered woman, “I’ll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each.”

~~~

To err is human.  To forgive is against company policy.

~~~

“Great news, Mr. Smith,” the psychiatrist reported. “After eighteen months of therapy, I can confidently pronounce you completely cured of your kleptomania. You’ll never be tempted by such desires again.”

“That’s great, doctor,” said the patient with a sigh of relief.

“And just to prove it, I want you to stop off at Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store. You’ll feel no temptation whatsoever to shoplift.”

“Oh, doctor, however can I thank you?”

“Well,” suggested the doctor, “if you do have a relapse, I could use a microwave.”

~~~

“As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning.”

Criss Jami

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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