Ray's musings and humor

We won’t be gone long

“It`s not how old you are, it`s how you are old.”

Jules Renard

! 000 aging

I hope all is well with you. My computer and I are going to take a few days off, the Daily will return early next week. Of course if you miss us too much there are a few thousand back issues stored at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com that you can read.

We need to take care of some family business as we continue to strive to get 2016 right. I sometimes wish that aging gracefully was as easy as it sounds, I think it was Betty Davis who said ”Old age is no place for sissies”, don’t get me wrong the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

Here is a story I picked up along the way that I find worth reading as the years go by.

Old age, I decided, is a gift.

     I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body – the wrinkles, the baggy eyes and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonize over those things for long.

     I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

     Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4:00 am and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s & 60s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

     I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

     I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say “no” and mean it. I can say “yes” and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

     So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

~~~

The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.

Madeleine L’Engle

~~~

An very blond farmer knocked on his neighbor’s door. A young boy about 12 answered.

“Is yer paw home?” the farmer asked.

“No sir, he ain’t,” the boy replied. “He went into town.”

“Well, said the farmer, is yer maw here?”

“No, sir, she ain’t here neither. She went into town with paw.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?“

“He went with maw and paw.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

“Is there anything I can do fer ya?” the boy asked politely. “I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer paw.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to yer paw. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant.”

The boy considered for a moment. “You would have to talk to Pa about that,” he finally conceded.

“If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don’t know how much he gets fer Howard.”

~~~

When nobody around you seems to measure up, it’s time to check your yardstick.

Bill Lemley

~~~

Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, my daughter and her husband broke the monotony one night with a trip to the movies. My daughter went inside to get seats while my son-in-law bought popcorn and drinks in the lobby. Paying for the refreshments, my son-in-law knocked over his soda. The clerk mopped up the mess and refilled his cup. Rattled, he then joined his wife.

Talking over the background music, he dramatically described his embarrassing episode. One of his expressive gestures upset the bucket of popcorn. He sheepishly headed back to the lobby. When he was out of earshot, the woman sitting next to my daughter turned and said, “You’re not going to let him hold the baby, are you?”

~~~

“A baby is God’s opinion that life should go on.”

Carl Sandburg

~~~

A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months. He passed the physical examination; then came the oral exam to test his ability to act quickly and wisely in an emergency. Among other questions he was asked, “What would you do to disperse a frenzied crowd?”

He thought for a moment and then said, “I would take up a collection.”

~~~

Ever notice how people who tell you to calm down are the very one’s who got you mad in the first place?

~~~

The customer at the Italian restaurant was so pleased with his meal that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.

“Your veal parmigiana was superb,” the customer said. “I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there.”

“Naturally,” the chef said. “Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported!”

~~~

The easiest way to get your old car running better? Check out the price stickers on new ones!

~~~

An old woman was taken to a gynecologist for the very first time, and of course the gynecologist was a very young and handsome fellow.  The doctor was very thorough in his examination, and of course the old woman was quite embarrassed throughout the whole examination.  Finally, the exam was over and the doctor told her to get dressed and come in to his office to talk about his findings.

The old woman listened intently as the doctor gave her the results. She then said she really only had one question for him. The doctor said,  “What is the question you have?”

“Tell me young man, does your mother know how you make a living?”

~~~

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent – that is to triumph over old age.

Thomas Bailey Aldrich

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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